


An Unlikely Love

by lanibb2013



Category: Doctor Who (2005), Fortysomething, The Thick of It (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Beads, Anal Play, Caretaker Malcolm, Clara School Teacher, Developing Relationship, Dominate Clara, Explicit Language, F/M, Implied past Clara/Female (Nina), Insecurity, Long-Term Relationship(s), M/M, Minor Character Death, Past M/M relationship, Past Malcolm/Jamie McDonald, Romance, Secondary developing relationship, Shyness, Slow Burn, Submissive Malcolm, Trust Issues, dominate/submissive emotional relationship, emotional breakdown, fairly graphic smut, m/m relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-14
Updated: 2015-05-28
Packaged: 2018-03-17 21:28:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 50
Words: 98,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3544415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lanibb2013/pseuds/lanibb2013
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clara Oswald works at Coal Hill school as an English teacher and one day a new caretaker starts working there. She wasn't present for his introduction because she was ill at home that day. For some reason he looked familiar to her but she wasn't sure where she had seen his face before. She noticed he was quiet and kept to himself to the point of isolating himself from all the staff members. She decides she's going to befriend him even if he does make it very hard to do with his caustic and crabby nature. That Doesn't deter her but she is away of the big "Go away" sign he has about him. She hears the whispers from the staff about him and snide remarks about both of them. She is surprised to find out he really isn't anything like what she'd heard about him.</p><p>Note:</p><p>I have decided to Continue the Ronnie/Mathew relationship story as a spin off. You may find it located here if you wish to read it:</p><p>For the Love of Pilfrey</p><p>http://archiveofourown.org/works/3669099/chapters/8110800</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Really Bad First Impression

**Author's Note:**

> Not sure exactly where this whole thing is going yet. I am going to do a more a Malcolm hides a more sensitive side behind a mask sort of thing so if you don't like that please feel free not to read it. 
> 
> May have a few non fluffy things in it and also as a warning but shouldn't be anything major. If it is I'll add the tag when I get there. I do not have a beta so if there are things wrong with it I apologize ahead of time. Please politely inform me if you find grammatical problems etc.
> 
> NOTICE: For now this story is finished. Someday I may expand and add more chapters to it but for the time being I'm pretty happy with it.
> 
> This story was inspired by this song:
> 
> Change in My Life  
> *****************  
> Billy Straus
> 
> Standing cold and scared on top of Blue Hill,  
> There came one moment when I lost my will.  
> I prayed for mercy, "Lord, please take me away,  
> Or give me sunshine where I only see grey."  
> The past had a hold on me, it can't be denied,  
> And the changes didn't come easily.
> 
> Chorus  
> I've been lonely, I've been cheated, I've been misunderstood;  
> I've been washed up, I've been put down, and told I'm no good.  
> But with you I belong, 'cause you helped me be strong.  
> There's a change in my life since you came along.
> 
> Now I don't mind working so hard every day,  
> And I don't pay no mind to what people say.  
> 'Cause after all the pain I've been through,  
> Lord knows I'd give up everything just to love only you.  
> All my life I've held my head bent in shame,  
> But now I've found you, and with you I'll remain.  
> Lord knows...
> 
> (Chorus)
> 
> A man gets crazy when his world is all wrong,  
> And a heart gets weary when it doesn't belong.  
> When the road gets rocky, Lord, you've got to keep on,  
> Let the new light come shining on through.
> 
> (Repeat chorus and fade)

Clara Oswald was still feeling pretty bad after the flu she had finally managed to shake enough to be able to come back to work. She went through the day on automatic and was walking through the little courtyard they had and noticed a middle aged man with a tan jacket on messing with the wiring in the fuse box. She walked over and asked, "Excuse me, Sir? May I ask what you are doing?"

Malcolm Tucker was glad he had been cleared of all the charges against him but he wasn't allowed in politics ever again. He had taken technical courses when he was young to be an electrician so when he saw an opening for a caretaker at Coal Hill school he decided to apply for it because he was really bored sitting at home. He didn't really need the pay check because he had managed to save enough money for retirement but he needed something to keep him from going stir crazy. It would figure that one of the science teachers would blow out half of the fucking schools fuses so here he was trying to replace the fuses when someone was stupid enough to ask him what the hell he was doing. He answered, "Trying to fix the fucking fuses that one of your twat teachers blew out. Or haven't ye noticed that half the fucking school is dark?"

Clara replied, "You should be cursing here, sir. Besides shouldn't the caretaker being doing that?" That when he turned around and stared at her like she had 2 heads.

Malcolm yelled, "I am the fucking caretaker, ya cunt. Now let me work!" He went back to work and ignored the young woman until she left. He sighed because he had noticed she was very pretty and now he felt bad for how he spoke to her.

Clara snapped, "Fine. You don't have to be such a jackass!" Clara walked off and mutter under her breath to herself about Scottish bastards. She finished her day and was walking out the doors to go to the parking lot when she saw that caretaker again. She only stopped when she felt him lightly place a hand on her arm as she passed. She coldly asked, "What do you want?"

Malcolm knew she had to go to the parking lot before she left for home so he got a cup of coffee and was waiting for her. When she did stop he gently placed a hand on her arm. The coldness which she spoke made him wince but he knew he deserved it. He sighed, "I just wanted to apologize for being a fucking twat to you earlier. I don't usually give a shit about how people see me but for some reason I didn't like you hating me. I'm sorry."

Clara sighed at that and replied, "Well it's no way to make friends."

Malcolm laughed, "I didn't plan on making any. Everyone around here already hates me for my past. I just planned on working and going home until you came along. I like your sass lassie. You are the only person who has ever had the bollocks to stand up to me."

Clara looked at this man front head to toe. He had grey curly hair that stuck up at odd places, was a head taller than her even with heels on, some age lines and crow's feet at the corner of his gray green eyes as well as bags under his eyes. The most noticeable thing about him though were his bushy gray eyebrows that always seem to look angry. She was guessing he was middle aged around 50 or so. He had a slim build with long legs and arms. She also noticed he had long thin fingers that also had some wrinkles as well. He wore a tan knee length jacket that he kept pens in the left breast pocket, a black pair of loose Dockers, a grey polo shirt, a black leather belt, and brown loafers. She finally shifted her bag and held out her free hand and replied, "Apology accepted. My name is Clara."

Malcolm shook her hand and replied, "Malcolm." He was sure that some one would tell her his last name one day but he didn't want to see that look of disgust on her face. He look at this pretty woman with the round face and about 5'1" tall. She had dark brown hair and brown eyes you could get lost in and was wearing a black knee length skirt with black tights and heeled boots. She was also wearing a red blouse with (are those? yes)...eyeballs all over it. He internally chuckled because she was an unusual woman and he like unusual. If he had thought he'd had a chance she would have asked her out but she had to be at least 20 years younger than him. She probably wouldn't be interested in a middle aged washed up foulmouthed politician turned secondary school caretaker. She was educated and he was lucky he could do basic electrician work. He sighed inwardly and said, "Well I better let you get going. I'll see you around, yeah?"

Clara smiled and replied, "Ok. See ya later. Goodnight, Malcolm." She then went over to her motorcycle and after getting her bag secured she took off home. She couldn't stop thinking about Malcolm the whole drive home.


	2. Shocking Start to a Friendship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Malcolm finds that being an electrician is not fun and finds out who his true friends are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Same notes as the first Chapter

The next day Clara saw Malcolm still trying to fix the fuses and at lunch time she went out to him and asked, "Would you like to get a cup of coffee or lunch, Malcolm?" She thought the tortoise shell glasses he had on were adorable.

Malcolm looked up at her over his glasses at voice and snapped, "I really need to get this fucking shit done, Clara. Thank you for asking but I'm going to have to pass today. It's not you. This shit is just really pissing me off. I'm not very friendly right now. Come back later, yeah?" He didn't want to blow her off but he knew if she didn't go away she would get the brunt of his anger at the twats that caused this mess yesterday. He wasn't a fucking experienced electrician for fucks sake. He never planned on having to rewire a whole fucking fuse box. The longer he lived the more he hated pudding brained idiots. He wound up touching a live wire and sudden throbbing fire and a cursed, "FUCK!" escaped him before he hit the ground and everything went black.

Clara was starting to walk back to her classroom when she saw Malcolm curse and start to have what looked like a seizure. She yelled, "Malcolm!" She ran over and saw the burnt wires in the fuse box and burns on his hands. She realized he just got electrocuted and as she put her head to his chest she realized he wasn't breathing and his heart had stopped. She immediately started CPR until finally he started choking and groaning. She saw the crowd forming and yelled, "What are you all staring at?" 

Malcolm thought his worries were over until he came out of the blackness to choking and someone pounding on his chest. He groaned, "Jesus fucking Christ! Will you stop. It hurts."

Clara took his hand and asked, "Do you remember what happened?"

Malcolm coughed, "Yeah. I fucking got electrocuted. Christ every fucking part of my body hurts like fucking hell. I'm fine, Clara. I don't need a hospital."

Clara said, "You are going to the hospital to be checked out. Do as you are told, Malcolm. Either you go in an ambulance or I'm taking you. Which is it?"

Malcolm croaked, "Fine. You can take me. No one else. Got it?" Clara was the only one he had any semblance of trust in even if it was just not throwing him out of a moving car. He groaned as she helped him up and gasped, "You don't have a fucking car do you? Fine we'll take mine. Keys are in my left hand pants pocket."He noticed that all the other staff at Coal hill either avoided them or blatantly avoided helping not that it really surprised him any. When they got to his car he painfully collapsed in the passenger seat.

Clara was actually rather surprised that Malcolm had a bright blue Mazda 2 for a car but she liked the little car. She started driving as soon as they both got their seat belts on. She helped him in the hospital and waited for him. 

Malcolm was glad when the doctor said he would be fine if quite sore for a while and gave him some pain killers for that. He didn't realize until Clara had mentioned it to the nurse that his heart had stopped when he got shocked. Almost as bad as a heart attack but clever Clara saved his useless life. When he found her in the waiting room he said, "I never got to thank you for saving my life. I don't fucking deserve it but thank you. If it wasn't for you I'd be on a slab in the fucking morgue."

Clara replied, "You're welcome. I know we don't really know each other but I hope in time you'll be able to think of me as a friend, Malcolm." 

Malcolm replied, "You've been more of a friend to me than any of the fucking bastards I've known throughout my life, Clara. You are probably the only fucking person I ever will consider a true friend if I can ever truly trust someone. I think we should back to the school. I'm fine. I'm a tuff bastard. Doctor says I'm just going to be fucking sore for a while."

Clara said, "Oh before I forget. Here, I picked them up and put them in my purse to keep them from getting destroyed."

Malcolm looked down at what she was holding and shook his head. She was holding his glasses that amazingly didn't get destroyed when he fried. He took them and put them in the right breast pocket of his caretaker's jacket and said, "Thank you." He let her drive back as well because he really did hurt like hell. When they parted ways he thanked her and gain and fell into bed as soon as he got through his door.

Clara couldn't help worrying about the older man all night long because it had really scared the crap out of her when she didn't feel a heartbeat. She knew that even with how tuff he said he was that even he would meet his limit someday. She read a couple chapters of her book before finally getting tired enough to fall asleep.


	3. Where the Hell is Malcolm?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Malcolm isn't coming to work and Clara is worried about him.

Clara came to work the next few days and couldn't find Malcolm. She was really starting to worry about her new friend when the principal called her to his office. She asked, "What happened to Malcolm? Where is he? Is he all right?"

Mr. Smith replied, "Mr. Tucker is at home recovering from getting electrocuted. He assured me he will be back to work by Monday. He also informed me that your quick thinking saved his life. That was a kind and unselfish act you did and I decided to give you recognition. Your picture and a plaque will be placed up on our exceptional faculty wall. You will also receive your own plaque as a thanks. You are a very special woman, Ms. Oswald. You are the only teacher in this school to accept Mr. Tucker as staff and be friendly to him regardless of his past. I do not care about his past personally and do feel more people should be at least civil to the man but I do have to warn you though if you get to close to him you may get stung whether by him or other faculty. You may wind up getting ostracized and isolated just like he is if you become friends with him. I'm not telling you not to be friends because I think he needs at least one friend here but I just thought it was only fair that you should know what may happen if you pursue the friendship."

Clara asked, "Why do they hate him so much? They wouldn't even try to help him. They would have left him there to die. I saw the looks on their faces. Some were happy others were sad but none actually cared about the fact that he is a human being."

Mr. Smith sighed, "You really don't know, do you? Well. That's not my place to tell you Ms. Oswald. You should either look it up on the internet or ask him yourself. Only thing I will say is he has made a lot of enemies in 20 years even people who don't know him by association but by reputation. By reputation he is really an asshole and he's been like that so long I'm not even sure if he has another side to him. I will admit he hates people and does not trust anyone. He was stabbed in the back by everyone he knew and it destroyed him. It taught him a valuable lesson but also probably destroyed him ability to ever let anyone see anything but the man he shows to the world."

Clara asked, "May I have his phone number so I can check on him? It would make me feel better if I could hear it from him that he's all right."

Mr. Smith shook his head and replied, "I'm sorry but I can't give it to you without his permission."

Clara groaned, "All right. Fine. Give him my number then and let him know I hope he's feeling better."

Mr. Smith replied, "All right. I will pass the message and number on to him."

Clara replied, "Thank you." Clara went back to her classroom to wait for her students to get there. After the day was over she went home and got comfy in a pair of sweats and tee-shirt. She made a cup of tea and sat down to watch TV. It was getting close to 10pm when her cell phone rang. She didn't recognize the number but answered it anyway. She said, "Hello?"

Malcolm had been in a lot pain all day long even with the pain meds the doctor had given him. It felt like ever nerve in his body was being sliced open. He sure would know better to check to make sure the electricity was off next time. He thought he had turned it off but it was quite obvious he was wrong. He was surprised when Mr. Smith called him in the afternoon to give him Clara's phone number and to tell him she was worried about him. He liked the young lady a lot but what in the hell she saw in him that was worth the worry he couldn't even guess. He figured it was just simple concern but as he was laying on his couch in his living room watching TV he decided to call her. He thought she might not answer until he heard her voice. He said, "Clara? Hi. I..uh got your message."

Clara sat right up and squeaked, "Malcolm? Oh thank god. I've been worried about you for the last 3 days! I was afraid something had happened to you."

Malcolm sighed, "No. I just hurt to fucking much to move right now."

Clara asked, "Why didn't you turn of the electricity before you messed with the fuses?"

Malcolm admitted, "I thought I had fucking turned off the fucking electricity. I was fucking sure of it but I was wrong apparently. I guess I'm fucking old and my memory is fucking going. Thank you for caring though."

Clara replied, "Well I'm glad you got my number. Mr. Smith wouldn't give me yours."

Malcolm sighed, "Yeah that was because I told him not to give it to anyone. I didn't plan on meeting you though, Clara. If you want my number you can have it. This is my cell number because I was too lazy to go pick up the fucking house phone. I.." He wound up hissing and tensing as a sharp needle like pain went through his arms and legs.

Clara asked, "Are you all right?"

Malcolm croaked, "Yeah. It's...just the fucking residual pains. Hopefully they will fucking go away in a few days. Fuck I won't do that again. It really fucking hurts. Fucking fuck me...ow. I'm afraid I'm to have to fucking let you go, Clara. Talk to ya later, yeah?"

Clara whispered, "All right. Take care of yourself, Malcolm. I'll call you tomorrow. If you need anything just call me ok?"

Malcolm groaned, "Yeah. Night, Clara." After he heard her say goodnight he hung up. If he didn't know any better he'd say even his fucking hair hurt. He was definitely way too old to get electrocuted. The longer he thought about it the more he realized he was fucking lucky Clara cared enough to help him. He really would have been dead if she hadn't. He owed her his life. As much as that scared him he couldn't say it he didn't want it to mean something. He secretly got a thrill when she ordered him to go to the hospital. Fuck he even liked it and that terrified him as much as it thrilled him. They barely knew each other and she already had him wrapped around her finger. He was already doomed. He groaned, "Fucking fuck me."

Clara went to bed a little more at ease to know Malcolm was all right but she did worry about the pain he was having. She had to trust the doctors thought that if they said it was normal and would go away then it probably would. She hoped it eased up for him soon because he's cranky enough on a good day. All in all though she really did like him even if he was foul mouthed and at times quite rude. There was just something that drew her to him like a moth to a flame.


	4. A Big Misunderstanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Malcolm comes back to work and misunderstands something Clara does.

When Monday morning came Malcolm was still sore but he didn't feel like his nerves were on fire anymore thankfully. He was very glad they called in a proper electrician to fix the bad fuses and fried fuse box. He just went around sweeping up classrooms and cleaning up when there had been a "spillage" when a kid got sick or something was knocked over. He had seen Clara in passing a few times but he could tell she was in a hurry so he didn't try to get her attention. He figured that she would come to him when she was free. He had noticed how she usually managed to catch him alone which he was fine with at any rate.

Clara had been running around all day and was rather tired by lunch time. She had caught glimpses of Malcolm sweeping a classroom, cleaning up messes or just watering the plants in the courtyard. Once she knew how much Malcolm swears she would make sure she caught him alone to talk to away from kids and other faculty mostly for his benefit so that he didn't get in trouble for doing where kids could hear him. She's hoping one day she'll be able to convince him to tone it down some just while he was at work but knew they didn't know each other well enough really yet to broach the subject. When she finally had a free moment she went looking for him. She was surprised she didn't find him anywhere around the school. She looked at her watch and realized she'd have to worry about it later. 

Malcolm decided to take a walk of the school grounds for a break from the monotony. After all the aggravation so far and the fact that he nervous as hell about what he was feeling for Clara he needed a cigarette. He didn't smoke that much anymore compared to a lot of people and there were sometimes days he went without one but right now was not one of those days. He used to smoke about a pack or more a day when he was at Number 10 because he was always stressed but now he was down to about 2-6 a day depending on how annoyed he was with people. After he finished his cigarette he decided to go get some coffee before he went back to the school. On a whim he bought Clara one and took it to her at her classroom before all the kids started piling in for class. 

Clara was surprised when she saw Malcolm at the door to her classroom holding two coffees. She was glad he had finally turned up again because she was rather worried. She asked, "Where the Hell have you been?"

Malcolm blushed and replied, "I needed to take a fucking walk so I picked up some coffee while I was out. I got you one but I wasn't sure how you liked it so I got the cream and sugar in my pocket." He set one of the coffees down on her desk for her and dug out the cream and sugar from his pocket and placed that on her desk as well.

Clara smiled and replied, "Thank you. How are you feeling?"

Malcolm shrugged and replied, "Very sore but better. I'm hoping I don't do the fucking "idiot with a screwdriver" thing again. Needless to say It's probably took a few fucking years off my lousy life. I'm going to get to work." He noticed her students starting to come in and decided he should go. He stopped when she called his name. He turned around with his eyebrow raised and a replied, "Hmm?"

Clara called, "Malcolm? I'll see you after school's out, all right? You'll still be around, yeah?" She was hopeful and smiled when he nodded before he walked out the door. She was floating on air the rest of the day. When school let out she went searching for Malcolm again. She got stopped in the hall by Danny Pink.

Danny said, "Hey, Clara? Are you doing anything tonight? We could maybe go get a drink or something."

Clara smiled and replied, "I'm sorry, Danny. I appreciate the offer but I have other plans."

Danny asked, "It's that caretaker, yeah? You are digging yourself a deep hole with everyone over him, Clara. I personally don't like the man but you are my friend and I want you to be happy. I just hope he's worth it."

Clara kissed Danny's cheek and replied, "Thank you. That means a lot. I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?" She watched Danny nod and leave. She turned around and saw Malcolm at the other end of the hall with a crushed look on his face. She saw him disappear and walked after him wondering what the hell had gotten into him. For being a middle aged man he was pretty quick. He wasn't anywhere to be found and his car was gone from the parking lot. She went home wondering what happened to cause that sudden reaction.

Malcolm had been coming back from cleaning some windows that the kids had decided it was funny to write on and saw Clara chatting with another teacher. This teacher was about her age and they seemed pretty close. When he saw her kiss the guy's cheek he suddenly realized that this man must be her boyfriend. It really made him depressed even though he knew it had probably been very likely she had a boyfriend. Why would she want anything to do with someone like him? He was almost twice her age for fucks sake. He should have known better than to even think that she might be even remotely interested in him. He caught her looking at him and decided to get away from there before he made an awful fool of himself. He decided to go home and cry himself to sleep rather than deal with Clara right now.


	5. First Big Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clara unwittingly confronts Malcolm and they wind up in a fight

The next morning Malcolm avoided Clara because he wasn't ready to deal with what he saw. He knew he was a foolish and lonely old man and the best he could expect from a young woman like Clara was friendship but he still had hoped that maybe there was something else there. He started muttering, "Tinker, tailor, soldier, cunt." under his breath like a mantra. It was aimed at himself because he was angry and he should have known better. He knew it would be stupid to be angry with Clara so he aimed his anger at himself because he had always known he would be alone but he had made the mistake of hoping that maybe he found someone that might give him a chance. He stayed in the Caretaker building most of the day fixing chairs, tables and other items that he had put off when he was trying to fix the electrical fuses. 

Clara didn't see Malcolm all day and was too busy to even look for him. At 5pm she finally got out of there after a teaching meeting and was passing the caretaker building and heard banging and cursing. She followed the noise and was surprised to see Malcolm was still there fixing furniture. She watched him for awhile and realized he looked angry about something. Also the force he put on the hammer was a good clue. She said, "You all right, Malcolm?" The look of shock on his face worried her.

Malcolm had lost complete track of time and jumped when he heard Clara's voice. He growled, "What the hell are you doing here?"

Clara replied, "I've been looking for you all day and heard banging in here after I got out of a meeting. I had honestly thought you had left by now but I'm glad you didn't. It's 5 in the evening after all."

He looked at her and mocked, "Oh? is it? Well I haven't got anything fucking better to do. There no need to fucking worry about me. I can take care of myself. I'm not a fucking geriatric yet, sweetheart. Now go away so I can fucking finish my work."

Clara couldn't understand why he was treating her like he was and finally yelled, "What is your problem? I've done nothing but help you! Why are you treating me like dirt?"

Malcolm growled, "I'm not in any fucking mood for this right now, darling. Let's just say I got the message and leave it at that. You can go back to co noodle with your fucking boyfriend and stay away from me. Fuck knows you'd be far better off without me to taint your precious reputation. Just fucking stay away from me. You are far better off that way." This was why he didn't want to deal with this right now. He was not capable of having a nonabrasive conversation when he was angry. Great and now he felt his eyes watering. He had to get rid of her before he fell apart and really embarrassed himself. He turned away from her and leaned against the bench in front of him.

Clara was still confused by his anger until she started going over his rant. She gently touched his arm and replied, "Malcolm? I don't know why you think that but I don't have a boyfriend. Please just tell me what's going on?"

Malcolm stammered, "I saw you with the fucking twat yesterday after school. There's no way I could compete with a young handsome man. I'm old and emotionally battered." He suddenly realized he just said to much. Now she would know why he flipped out on her. He sobbed in despair because there went what was left of his dignity.

Clara finally put two and two together and laughed, "Oh. You think Danny Pink is my boyfriend? No. He's a good friend but I have no interest in him being a boyfriend. He's the only staff member that is still my friend even though I spend time with you. I will admit though he doesn't like you but not exactly a social butterfly. Furthermore I have no interest in pretty young men."

Malcolm said, "You kissed him."

Clara replied, "Yes. I kissed him on the cheek. I do that with practically all my friends. It doesn't mean I'm sleeping with them or anything, you git. Besides I'm interested in another man."

Malcolm sighed shakily, "Oh. well I wish you well with the guy you are interested in even if I am being a complete dick about it."

Clara sighed, "You want to know who it is I like? I'll give you a clue. He's older than me, foul mouthed and at times a complete horse's ass. He apparently also has a jealous streak a mile long, but at times he can be so sweet. I've been attracted to him since the day I met him but have had no idea how to tell him how I feel without him getting scared off. Not to mention I had no idea how he felt about me. After what happened though I think I know he's interested. Did you figure out who it is yet?"

Malcolm swallowed and whispered, "It sounds a bit like me but...you probably hate me now anyway." He didn't dare to hope that it was him that she wanted to be with especially after what he just did. When she pulled to get him to face her he let her. He had been crying for a while now. He was also not good at dealing with any feelings other than anger and resentment.

Clara looked up and brushed the tears off of Malcolm's cheek and sighed, "It is you I'm talking about. I just didn't know if you felt the same way or if all you were willing to give me was friendship. I do consider a friend. I could never hate you. I'm sure there are going to be many times I am angry with you but I don't hate you. I'm willing to give this a chance if you are."

Malcolm gave her shaky smile and replied, "I'd....like that."

Clara smiled and replied, "OK. Good." She backed up a little and leaned on the work bench. She was surprised she had seen him like this. Under that prickly exterior he was an emotional mess. He was insecure, had low self esteem, but craved to be loved and wanted. He was a bit like a beautiful disaster. Well she was willing to do everything she could to make him feel loved and cared about.

Malcolm realized that he craved to be touched by Clara but he didn't have any idea what to do with the desire. He finally decided to ask. He whispered, "Why don't you like to touch me?"

Clara almost missed that question but took hold of his hand and replied, "I've wanted to touch you for a while, Malcolm. I just assumed you didn't want to be touched. You tend to exude an air that says not to come near you. I know you have treated me differently but I didn't want to cross a line that would freak you out."

Malcolm squeezed her hand and replied, "You're right...I don't like to be touched really....but with you it's different. Not letting anyone touch me is a kind of fucking defense mechanism that kept me from getting hurt. I felt that I wouldn't get hurt if I didn't let them fucking close enough. It will take some getting used to and I may be a bit reluctant for a while but I'd like you to touch me. It's a normal part of a relationship so I have to adjust to it. I like your touch but only yours. I want affection but just from you. That is unless you don't want to..."

Clara set her work down on the bench and jumped up to wrap her arms around him neck in a hug. She felt him trying to figure out what to do with his arms until he hesitantly rested his palms on her back. She realized that he must have spent most of his life without affection and love. Well she'd fix that too now that he gave her permission to be affectionate with him. She said, "I'm a cuddle bug and very affectionate person, Malcolm. You'll get used to it and I hope you'll be able to return it and initiate it on your own." She kissed his cheek and back away a bit without breaking the circle of his arms around her but left her hands resting on his lower arms which rested on her hips now. She rested her head against his chest and listened to his heart beat for a few minutes. She finally said, "Maybe we should get out of here, yeah?"

Malcolm really didn't want to go home yet because he was finally content for the first time in his long life but he couldn't expect her to stay there all night long because he didn't want to let her go. He sighed, "Yeah. I guess we should. I can finish this tomorrow." He watched her pick up her work and bag and hung up his caretaker's coat on the coat rack in the corner. He took his grey fleece jacket and put it on to go home. This wasn't his expensive wool jacket he used to use at Number 10 but it was effective enough at keeping our the cold. The good one he only used for special occasions now because he'd ruin it if he used it for work now. Not that he ever really has anything to wear it too anymore. He was surprised she was waiting for him and grabbed his hand as they left the caretaker's building.


	6. Getting to Know Each Other

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clara and Malcolm chat while having dinner.

When they got out to the parking lot Malcolm pulled out his cigarettes and got one out. He even managed to light it with one hand still being held by Clara. He took a long drag on it and leaned back against the railing. He had expected her to let go of his hand and go home. He was really surprised when she just kept walking with him to his car as he puffed on his cigarette. 

Clara wanted to ask him if he wanted to get dinner or something but wasn't sure how he would react to her being that forward after they just sorted out a mess of miscommunication in the same day. She was surprised to find out that he smoked since he really didn't smell of smoke or ashes. She liked how he smelt of citrus fruit, menthol, and old spice. She just kept hold of his hand and walked with him until they reached his car. She finally blurted, "Um do you maybe want to get dinner or something?"

Malcolm almost coughed in surprise before flicking the cigarette away. He replied, "I guess we could do that. There a nice little fucking diner a couple blocks away. I sometimes go there for lunch." He was happy she asked but wondered why she was so nervous about it. He could get used to her smiling at him like she was and gently pulling him after her. While they walked he lit another cigarette half way there and just finished it when they reached the dinner. He held the door open for her while he took the last drag on the cigarette before putting out in the container of sand by the door. He then followed her inside and they took a seat in one of the booths near the back. 

Clara was so happy when he agreed and skipped along pulling him with her to the diner. She was pleasantly surprised when he held the door open for her. She waited for him to follow her after he got rid of his cigarette. She followed him to where ever he wanted to sit. After they had ordered she clasped her hands on the table in front of her and asked, "So..what do you do for fun?"

Malcolm mirrored her position and smirked. He said, "Well...for a few years my idea of fun was ripping fucking idiot Politicians apart until they ran away crying or trying to work myself into an early fucking grave. I used to like golf but can't fucking stand it anymore. Now I don't really do anything considered fun. I'm mostly a man of habit tending to mostly just read or watch TV since I haven't had anyone in my life. I do tend to rant at the fucking news and how fucking stupid government officials still are to get themselves in a fucked up mess. I could be open to suggestions though with the right company. What's your idea of fun?"

Clara replied, "Well.. I also read and watch TV but I also like to go out and do things like go to dinner, shopping, movies, maybe clubbing, but I like to also just sit at home and cuddle with the right person. Someday I would like to travel. I also like trying to make soufflés as good as my mum used to make. Unfortunately I still haven't been successful."

Malcolm chuckled, "Well... I am a good cook but until recently haven't had the fucking time nor the fucking desire to cook. I find it silly to cook for just one fucking person. My favorite food is Thai but I'm pretty open to a lot of different foods." When their dinners came he was kind of relieved at the silence while they ate. He still wasn't completely sure about where they stood but he at least knew that she was interested in him. When they were done he paid for the meal and they started to walk back to the school. He was nervous as hell because he didn't want to fuck up this chance he had with her. He stopped long enough to light another cigarette and as he started walking again he felt Clara's hand take his and he hesitantly entwined their fingers. He was new to affectionate gestures but was forcing himself to try. He was never affectionate with the people he worked with before the school. His family wasn't either and that's the biggest reason why he didn't like being touch. He wasn't used to it but that didn't mean he couldn't grow to like it with Clara with time if she has the patience to put up with his inability to know what to do right away. 

During dinner Clara noticed he didn't eat very much and seemed distracted. She now knew why he was so thin. It was because he smoked and barely ate anything. That was going to change as soon as possible. While they were walking she took his hand and was relieved when he entwined their fingers so they were holding hands. When they got back to the school she watched him flick the butt of his cigarette away and never let go of his hand as they went back to his car. When they got there she noticed that he seemed a little off. She asked, "Malcolm? You all right?"

Malcolm cleared his throat and replied, "I.....I'm fine. I was fucking married to my job and never bothered dating or anything. I just don't have much fucking experience in all of this. Fuck I'm not saying I don't want it. I just am fucking clueless about this sort of thing. It's just going to take time for me to learn. Can you be patient with a clueless old man? An old man who might need a fucking cattle pod to poke him in the ass and you telling him what to do next?"

Clara smiled and replied, "Of course. I can teach you about dating. Would you like me to get you a book?" She saw the look on his face before he figured out she was teasing him.

Malcolm pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, "Guess I had that wise crack fucking coming. This is rather embarrassing. At fucking 56 I should fucking know something about dating but I really fucking don't. Only the bare minimum. Only had a couple of dates that never went anywhere when I was a lad. Christ I'm fucking rambling. I'm acting like a fucking twat. Sorry. Sorry." He was getting more nervous by the minute and his nervous ticks were starting to show. He kept running his fingers nervously through his all ready fucked up hair and he was chewing on his thumb when he wasn't doing that. 

Clara realized that the reason Malcolm was acting strange was because he was nervous. She found him adorable when he's flustered. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a hug. She felt him go rigid for a minute before relaxing a bit. She said, "You are doing fine. I was just teasing. I kind of find it endearing that you are inexperienced. Your also very cute when you are nervous." She kissed his cheek and let go of his neck so he could stand up again but kept her hands on his shoulders. She gently pulled him back down and gave him a kiss on the cheek. She saw what looked like a half smile and said, "Thank you for dinner. I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"

Malcolm chuckled, "Yeah. Thank you for the company. Good night." He let her go and watched her walk to her bike. She spun around his car on the way out waving to him. He waved back and smiled. She was definitely something different but he was finding she made him happy for the first time in a very long time. He got in his car and drove home to his brownstone, had a glass of scotch while watching TV for a while and then went to bed.

Clara purposely circled Malcolm and waved at him and smiled when he waved back. When she got home she watched TV for a little while before going to bed.


	7. Do As You Are Told

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clara tells Malcolm he's going eat more.

The next morning when Clara got to her classroom she was pleasantly surprised to find Malcolm sitting on the edge of her desk. She smiled and said, "Good morning, Malcolm. To what do I owe the pleasure? Oh you got me coffee. You're are wonderful. Thank you." She kissed his cheek easily seeing sitting on her desk he was almost the same height as her. She watched his cheeks turn pink and kissed his other cheek. as they turned an even deeper shade of pink.

Malcolm had stopped to get both of them coffee on the way in and was surprised when Clara was later than usual but very glad when she finally showed up. When she kissed his cheek he was a little embarrassed but happy. He noticed her starting to pull away and grabbed both her hand in his own and rubbed his thumbs over the backs of them while he looked down. He noticed she was waiting for him to say something and finally stammered, "Clara? Uh....Would you like to...um do something...with me on Saturday?"

Clara watched him rubbing his thumbs over the tops of her hands and replied, "I promised my dad and gran I'd visit them on Saturday." She heard a sharp intake of breath and realized he thought she was blowing him off by the crestfallen look on his face.  
Malcolm whispered, "Fine. No problem. Maybe next weekend then." He went to stand up but Clara stood in his way and wouldn't let go of his hands. He wanted to cry but forced it back. He hoped she wasn't blowing him off but it sounded a bit like one.   
Clara said, "I wasn't blowing you off, Malcolm. No don't say it. I know that was what you were thinking. I could see it written all over your face. I promised them for a couple of weeks now I'd find the time to drop in on them. You know...You could come with me."

Malcolm choked, "Why?"

Clara coaxed him to look at her and replied, "Because first of all you're my friend. Second you're kind of my boyfriend, yeah? I want to spend time with you and want you to meet my family. Besides I really miss that gravely Scottish brogue of yours when you're not around. I've gotten rather attached to you. After we go see them then we can go do something fun." She was now caressing his cheek with her palm flat against his cheek.

Malcolm placed his palm flat against Clara's that was on his cheek. He sighed, "I'm not quite fucking ready to deal with meeting the parents, Clara. I'm sorry. This is too new to me right now for me have to deal with anymore. If this works out between us....I will meet them eventually but I want to be comfortable with us first, yeah?"

Clara sighed, "All right but you are going to Christmas Dinner with me this year. You got that?" Christmas was in about 2 months seeing it was October now.

Malcolm shook his head and replied, "Yes ma'am." He really was afraid that her family would judge him on his reputation and hate him. He was telling the truth about wanting to get used to there being a them first. He was surprised Clara hadn't but he was glad someone could not judge him on his past. He sighed and looked at his watch. He said, "Much as I hate to fucking leave ya...I need to get to work and so do you."

Clara smiled and replied, "I'll see you around lunch. Don't look at me like that. You need to eat more. You are way too skinny and from now on you are going to have lunch with me even if I have to force feed you. Then we are going to work on dinner. You will do as you are told and eat more."

Malcolm sighed, "Yes, ma'am."

Clara kissed his cheek and quietly said, "I want you to stay healthy, Malcolm. I don't want to lose you. I want you to stay around as long as possible. Actually eating meals will help. I'm going to take care of you now even if you fight me every step of the way. Got it?"

Malcolm whispered, "Yes, ma'am." He never thought he'd like being bossed around by anyone but with Clara he was getting a thrill out of letting her take control. He knew though Clara was the only one he'd give up control too and in a way he felt relieve at not having to make all the decisions. He was stuck doing it so long in his life he actually hated being in charge but he didn't trust anyone enough. Something about Clara told him that it was safe to let her take control. He saw the kids starting to file in and gently pushed her away so he could get up off her desk. He shyly smiled at her and picked up his own coffee before leaving the classroom. 

Clara was starting to realized that Malcolm was a lot more damaged than she originally thought the longer she knew him. She just wish she knew what happened to make him so nervous, distrustful, and melancholy. She could only hope that someday he'd trust her enough to tell her. Until then she was going to do everything she could to fix her broken boyfriend. The only thing she had learned about him so far was that the foul mouthed prick was a defense mechanism that he hid behind to keep from getting hurt. She was now catching glimpses of the shy, insecure, nervous man that was capable of love under neither. Someday she hoped to find out why he had to create the bastard image that the rest of the school knows. She would have to ponder that later as she looked up to find all her students had arrived.

Malcolm spent most of the morning watering plants and cleaning up unoccupied classrooms. He was rather distracted with his thoughts. He knew there were thing he had to tell Clara about himself like why he wasn't used to affection and why he seemed to have two totally opposite personalities. He was still terrified of letting her see the real him. He knew he had to let her see that broken, emotional wreck he hid from the rest of the world eventually but he just wasn't ready. It was all he could do to let her see any of his true personality because he had crushed that side of him for so long that he was having a hard time accepting it as part of him. The Malcolm Tucker the world knew most of his life wasn't who he really was inside. It was what his life and profession forced him to be in order to survive as long as he did. The more he opened up to Clara the more he couldn't control his emotions. It was like he was having a nervous breakdown that he had put off because he spent most of his life disconnected from who he really was in order to make it in politics. Now trying to reconnect to that emotional side of him has him feeling like he's malfunctioning. He had forgotten he was a very sensitive man and his feeling got hurt easily which it why he had to create a hardened shell of disdain and anger around him. That's why he couldn't meet her family yet. He was still trying to find a balance that wouldn't have him sobbing uncontrollably or hiding behind the anger he always used. 

Clara went looking for Malcolm at lunch time and found him in one of the free classrooms leaning on his broom lost in thought. She gently touched his arm after she said, "Malcolm?" It must have worked because he just replied with a hum and stiffened slightly but didn't jump when she touched him. She kept her hand on his arm and moved in front of him and said, "It's lunch time."

Malcolm didn't realized how distracted he was until he heard Clara say his name before placing a hand on his arm. He couldn't help the automatic reaction to stiffen but he was proud of himself that he didn't jump. He hummed to acknowledge he heard her but was surprised when she told him it was lunch time. He yelped, "All ready?? Fuck. Sorry. I'll be with you in a minute." He gathered up his supplies and went back to the caretaker's building while Clara followed him. After he put everything a way he locked up and walked through the halls with Clara to the cafeteria. He saw the looks the other teachers were giving them and felt bad for Clara because she was now an outcast because of her relationship with him.

Clara walked in the cafeteria with her head held high and took Malcolm's hand firmly in her own as she walked past the other teachers giving them hateful and dirty looks. She still didn't understand what he had done that makes them hate him so much. She just gently tugged him along when he started slowing. She said, "Just ignore them." They got their lunch and found a table and sat down together to eat lunch. This became a ritual almost every school day after that. She made sure he ate lunch everyday even if she had to physically drag him to the cafeteria.


	8. The Cat's Out of The Bag

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clara finds out about Malcolm's past after he breaks down.

One day 2 1/2 months later the inevitable happened and one of the younger hot tempered teachers confronted Malcolm. He stood there and listened to the bastard insult him but when the bastard started on Clara he just got madder and madder.

Mr. Tom Stevens spat, "Hey, Tucker! Haven't you learned you're not welcome here yet? You only have a job because the principal owed you a favor. Although we didn't realize you were a filthy old man just like everyone you worked with at your last job. You really shouldn't have become friends with her. She deserves better than a velociraptor like you."

Malcolm coldly replied, "Maybe she does but that's not your decision to make Stevens." He was turning around when he got a left hook the knocked him off his feet and back a few inches. He was leaning on his elbows on the floor determined to not let the fucking cunt he hurt him. It was all he could do not to swear when he felt Clara's hand on his arm and he bit his tongue. She didn't deserve to watch him become Tucker the fucker in the middle of a bunch of students.

Clara was on the floor in an instant and crying, "Malcolm? You all right?" She saw he was about to explode and put a hand on his arm and something in his eyes shifted when he looked at her. She yelled, "What did you do that for? He's done nothing to you! You know what I don't even care why you hate him. He didn't deserve that, Tom! That was rude and uncalled for! I'm going to report this to Mr. Smith. You'll regret punching Malcolm. Come on. We are going to the nurse. You are starting to get a black eye. Do. As. you. are. told. Up!" She finally managed to get him to his feet and walking out of the cafeteria. Oh she was going to nail Stevens to the wall.

Malcolm let her lead him to the nurse to get an ice pack but refused to go to the principal because his emotional walls were crumbling and he had to go somewhere he could just fall apart. They wound up back at the caretaker's building and he leaned against the wall away from Clara. He rasped, "Go I'll be fine. "

Clara said, "But what about , Stevens? He hit you, Malcolm."

Malcolm stammered, "You really think this is the first fucking time someone has hit me here? I'm fucking lucky to even have a fucking job after the hell I created for myself with my last fucking job. Please, Clara....Just go. Please..." He broke off in a sob and fell onto the stool by the wall with his arms wrapped around his waist rocking back and forth. He felt her arms go around him and gently coax him to rest his head on her chest. After 2 1/2 months he finally gave up trying to hide how emotionally fucked up he was now. The dam broke and he sobbed while she held him protectively in her arms. 

Clara was shocked to see Malcolm break down into a sobbing mess but wrapped her arms around him protectively around him. She held him close and ran her finger through his wild grey curls. She realized that this was the real Malcolm that he rarely ever let anyone else see. This is what he always hid from her before today. She was glad he didn't push her away from him like he had done on several occasions. He just accepted her comfort without argument. She was hoping that this may give them a new level of trust between them. She wanted to kill whoever it was that made him like this and made him hide behind a mask of anger. She kissed the top of his head and whispered, "Shhh. It's all right." She handed him a napkin off the supply rack when he finally managed to stop crying.

Malcolm calmed down enough to talk. He stammered, "I'm sorry, Clara. You didn't need to see that. This is why I never let anyone close to me before but ever since I lost my old job I've been more of a mess than I was before. I hid it by going numb to the world but as you started spending time with me...I wanted you to eventually be able to know the part of me that I never show but I forgot it required emotions. Being numb is no way to have a relationship but maybe it would have been better if I had stayed numb. Can't even control my emotions. I'm not much of a man am I?" He chuckled bitterly and went to pull away from Clara but she wouldn't let him.

Clara said, "You are more of a man than those people that did this to you. I'd like to beat the crap out of them for forcing you to change who you are. I'm just happy you feel comfortable enough to let me know you."

Malcolm sighed, "Well this is me. A pathetic old emotional wreck of a man. In short, I'm a fucked up mess. Stevens is fucking right about one thing. You fucking deserve better than me. I never fucking deserved you, Clara. I never fucking will either. I don't even fucking understand why you put up with me. You fucking deserve someone who doesn't have so much fucking emotional baggage. You should find someone better than me."

Clara hugged him tighter and said, "Stop that right now. You do not make decisions for me. I'm going to tell you something, Malcolm Tucker. Don't you dare say that. I'm not going to leave you just because you break down. I don't know what happened to you but it really has messed you up. You don't have any feeling of self worth do you? What happened to left you so damaged?"

Malcolm looked in her eyes and suddenly realized she had no clue. She wasn't just pretending. he said in awe, "Jesus Christ. You really don't have a fucking clue, do you? That's why you don't fucking hate me like everyone else here. You don't even know who I am do you? Fuck. I'm going to fuck myself but you deserve to know the truth. Look up my name and the Goulding Inquiry on the internet. You can also find me plastered all over the newspapers between 2011-2012. If you still want to talk to me let alone date me after that....Then you have my number. At that point I'll tell you whatever you want to know. You should go back to your classroom. I'm sure the kids are probably back from lunch." 

Clara said, "Nothing is going to change how I feel about you. I'll call you tomorrow, yeah?" She then went back to her classroom to finish the day. She was wondering what Malcolm was so worried about but when she got home and looked up what he told her to her eyes grew wide and she couldn't believe this ruthless bastard from Number 10 Downing Street was her boyfriend. The Malcolm she has fallen in love with and wanted to protect. She got more and more angry as she read the information. Then she read the Goulding Inquiry and saw the news report where he looked so defeated and realized that was what finally broke him. He had spent his career trying to protect all of those people from being destroyed themselves and they threw him under a fucking bus. Dumped everything on and blamed him for this Tickel's death. She now understood why he was so fucked up and had no self esteem. She cried herself to sleep finally understanding what a gift he had granted her by allowing her past the walls and veil that his the real him from those that want to beat him into the ground. 

Malcolm whispered, "Yeah. I hope so." He watched her go out the door and was terrified that it would be the last time he saw her without hatred on her face. He sighed and got back to work. He brooded the rest of the day. He knew she would look up what he told her too because she was too curious not to do it. After she saw what as bastard he had been their relationship would be over. When it came time to leave he got home and decided to get plastered. It was Friday anyway so he pulled out his bottle of scotch and it took him the whole bottle before he finally passed out cold on his sofa.


	9. History and Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clara does more research and Malcolm is a wreck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The paper quotes came from Wiki and TTOI before that.
> 
> mo ionmhuinn Clara =  
> Scottish for my beloved Clara
> 
> If it is incorrect I apologize but I used an online English - Scottish translator

The next morning Clara found and watched some of the news reports that had been put on YouTube of him resigning twice and being arrested for suspicion of Tickel's death as well as perjury charges before she went to the library and looked up the newspapers from the years that Malcolm told her about and the more she read she got angry again.

The papers had nicknamed the Gorbals Gebbels, leader of the Caladonian Mafia of Number 10, a foul mouthed bully, and a Dirty Tucker. She also found quotes like: "Malcolm Tucker has the physical demeanor and the political instincts of a velociraptor" (The Guardian); "Tucker's writ runs through the lifeblood of Westminster like raw alcohol, at once cleansing and corroding" (The Daily Telegraph); "If you make eye contact with Malcolm Tucker, you have spilled his pint (The Times); "Iago with a BlackBerry" (The Spectator). They also define him as being borderline Machiavellian, a constant schemer, and having a very volatile personality with the likely hood to verbally abuse anyone who steps on his toes. It's no wonder why so many people hated him. It wasn't right for anyone to judge him based on what she was reading but none of these people know him like she does. 

After some more searching she found a news paper stating that even though he still believed to be guilty they didn't have enough proof to send him to jail. Therefore he had been acquitted of all charges but was legally banned from any position in the political realm for the rest of his life. Then she found another paper stating "Today Britain's washed up spin-doctor and Prime Minister's Ex-enforcer, Malcolm Tucker, tried to commit suicide by slicing his wrists. The only reason he is still alive is that an ex-coworker, Jamie McDonald, stopped by to see him at his home and found him unconscious covered in his own blood. Many that know him wish he had succeeded. He is currently in London General recovering." Then she found another one stating ""Today Britain's washed up spin-doctor and Prime Minister's Ex-enforcer, Malcolm Tucker, tried to commit suicide again this time by overdosing on sleeping pills. He was found by his sister, Anne, when she came to visit him with her children. He was rushed to London General where he remains in ICU. Many agree that the third time's the charm." She couldn't believe that the news papers were basically encouraging him to kill himself. 

She finally just stopped because if she read anymore of this garbage she was going to wind up going after these people for what they did to him. It was no wonder Malcolm was so bitter, untrusting, and self-loathing after what he had to put up with before and after he left Number 10. She determined that she was going to prove to him that at least one person doesn't give a damn about his past. The Malcolm she had gotten to know the last couple months is nothing like the papers describe. She did see that what they describe is part of him but that is not the real him. The real him is broken, damaged, tired, lonely, sensitive, insecure and terrified. The complete opposite of this. He cried on her should for Pete's sake. The man they described in the papers would never do that. She has to admit he hid who he truly was really well to survive that den of vipers. If she didn't know him personally she would have never known he was the same man. She was suddenly very glad she never knew the truth about what happened that created the man everyone hated until now because she can see past it. He is also sentimental and romantic. He's bought her coffee, flowers, and silly little gifts that reminded him of her when he was out. She pulled out her phone as she was leaving the library and dialed Malcolm's cell number he gave her about a month ago once they officially had become a couple. She couldn't figure out why he wasn't answering and left a message, "Malcolm? I need to see you. I understand now what made you the way you are but I want you to know that doesn't change how I feel. Please give me a call back when you get this message. "

Malcolm had drank until he passed out and when his cell rang he ignored it. He went back to sleep. That fucking Cell wouldn't stop ringing and his head hurt like hell. He finally got up and got it just to shut it off but found he had 6 voicemails and a text message from Clara. He wondered what the fuck she could possibly want now that she probably knew the truth about him. He thought about ignoring them but as afraid as he was to listen to them he was also curious as to why she would bother calling him that many times just tell him to fuck the fuck off. He finally groaned, "Fucking fuck me." He listened them and felt bad at how frantic and worried Clara sounded by the 6th message. He had never told her where he lived because he didn't trust her enough . He hadn't even been to her apartment but that was his own choice. He had her address but never bothered to find the place because he hadn't been ready for that step. They had only been together about 2 1/2 months and went on a few dates together. He was afraid that one day she would turn on him like everyone else did but now she admitting to knowing his past and she still was worried about him because he wasn't answering his phone. He typed out his address in a text message before he could change his mind and sent it to her. He got something for the pounding in his head and took a shower and shaved. He had decided on a black jumper with holes in it and a pair of black dress pants. Simple but presentable.

Clara called him 6 times and the last time she begged, "Malcolm? Please call me back. I know everything but I don't care. I'm really getting worried. Please at least let me know you're ok." She was crying now worried something had happened or he had done something really stupid like try to kill himself again. It scared her that he wasn't answering her calls. She cried herself to sleep. Sometime later she woke up and realized she had received a text and almost sobbed in relief that it was from him. She was puzzled though because all it had was an address and nothing else. Malcolm had never given her his home address so she had no idea whether this was it or not. She suddenly realized she had gotten the message around noon and it was 5pm. She threw her coat on and ran out the door to catch a cab. She knocked on the door and when he yelled to come in she realized his accent was a lot more pronounced especially after he started babbling. The sight that greeted her was heart-breaking. He sitting in a leather chair with an empty whiskey tumbler in his hand and half empty bottle of whiskey on the coffee table. She had no idea how long he had been drinking but she could tell he was pretty sloshed. 

Malcolm had been sitting in his living room waiting for Clara but when she didn't show up he dug out another bottle of whiskey and started drinking again. He was pretty drunk when he heard a knocking on the door. His Scottish brogue was heavier and his words slurred when he yelled, "Come the fuck in or fuck the fuck off!" He was shocked when he looked up and realized through the haze of drunkenness that it was Clara. He poured himself another tumbler and slurred, "Feel free ta get a glass, lassie. They're in the cabinet above the sink. I'd try ta be a more fucking gracious host but I think I'm fucking better off staying right here. I really didnae think you'd show. It's been umm....5 fucking hours since I sent ya my message. Whatever ye wanna ask me you go ahead."

Clara knelt on the floor in front of him between his knees and said, "I do have some questions but I'm not going to ask them while you are like this. It's not fair to you. You're drunk, Malcolm. I'm not going to take advantage of that." She knew they needed to talk but she knew talking with a drunk was a pointless endeavor.

Malcolm growled, " What is this a game of tinker, tailor, soldier, cunt? Oh, aye. I'm a fucking cunt. Used ta even get a fucking cake with "Happy Birthday, Cunt" on them every year I worked at Number 10. Iago with a fucking blackberry and has the physical demeanor and the political instincts of a velociraptor! Innit what they said in the fucking papers ya read today? I'm a fucking backstabbing bastard, Clara! I've been ground inta the dirt and fucked up the fucking ass. Then I was pissed on and fucking kicked in the bollocks because I did my fucking job! I don't even think there is anything of me left! I devoted my whole fucking life to that job and I got thrown under the fucking bus by a bunch of cunts and fucking vultures!! I couldn't even go out with dignity. Fucking Ollie that cunt fucking fetus boy betrayed me to the press! Doesn't fucking matter though does it? I was dead way before then. All that's been left of me is a fucking husk for years. Oh Clara, My Clara. You are the only light I've had for decades. I'm so fucking sorry....He had allowed Clara to lead him to his bedroom and when he was laying down he curled up into a fetal ball and started sobbing. He held Clara's hand tighter and begged, "Please don't leave me, mo ionmhuinn Clara."

Clara managed to coax him up the stairs to his room while he ranted but he wouldn't let go of her hand. She took her shoes off and was very glad she was wearing a cotton outfit that she apparently was going to wind up sleeping in. She knew he had just said something in Scottish but wasn't about to ask him what he meant right now. She crawled in under the covers with him and held him close while he sobbed and made sounds of despair. They were both on their sides and his head was tucked in against her chest under her chin while she carded her fingers through his hair to comfort him. She felt his hands seeking something until she felt them latch around her back pulling her as close as he possible could. It was a very different experience for him to actually seek out comfort and affection because he was usually a loner. She whispered, "It's all right, Malcolm. I'm not going anywhere." After about a half hour she felt his grip on her relax slightly and the sobbing taper off. She suddenly realized he had cried himself to sleep. She kissed the top of his head and allowed herself to drift off with him.


	10. Heart to Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They have their talk

When Malcolm woke up the next morning he noticed two things. His head hurt like fucking hell and he had a weight on his chest keeping him from sitting up. He felt the weight move and heard a feminine voice hum in contentment and his eyes shot open. He moved his head so he could see the sleep tussled brown hair on his chest. He was bouncing between nervousness and relief when he realized it was Clara. He hesitantly rested his hand on her head and tried to remember what the fuck happened last night. He had texted her his address and she didn't come for 5 hours and by then he was fucking drunk. He groaned when he realized he had a breakdown and sobbed uncontrollably in Clara's arms. He didn't know what would have been worse...that or screwing her while he was drunk. He felt a gently slap on his chest and looked at Clara. She was like a cat trying to get comfortable laying on top his chest. He knew he could get used to this every mo0rning but it also scared him because they really still didn't have the talk she wanted.

Clara was half asleep when she wacked her pillow that kept moving and grumbling. After a few minutes she woke up enough to realized her uncooperative pillow was a man. Her head shot up and met Malcolm's gray eyes before sighing in relieve and putting her head back down on his chest. She knew he was thinking and worrying again because his eyes turned grey instead of their usually blue/green color when he was happy or content. She sighed, "You worry too much."

Malcolm sighed, "Oh? How would ya know that?"

Clara replied, "Your eyes are gray which means either you are depressed or worrying about something. If you weren't they would be green or blue/green. I may not be able to read all your body language or expressions but I learned your eyes. So don't bother lying to me about it." 

Malcolm grumbled, "Your too fucking perceptive for my own good, Clara."

Clara knew he wasn't going to be the first to talk and sighed, "What's on your mind, Malcolm?"

Malcolm stammered, "I'm sorry."

Clara asked, "For what?"

Malcolm sighed, "For everything. For not telling you sooner about what a fucking bastard I am, for having a fucking breakdown, fuck for even getting you involved in my own fucking mess of a life."

Clara said, "Malcolm..."

Malcolm choked, "Oh, Clara. How much?"

Clara said, "I know everything. I know about Tickel, the perjury charges, the arrest, The ban from politics, every nickname they called you as well as the 2 attempted suicides and how they wanted you to kill yourself."

Malcolm swallowed and whispered, "If you want to leave me I can't blame you.."

Clara moved so they were eye to eye and replied, "You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm the one who uninitiated our relationship, you falling apart only bothers me because I want to help and don't know how too. I want to know every part of you. Even the heartbroken sobbing side. As for the crap that I learned yesterday...I'm glad I didn't know it before now. You know why? Because I know the real you and I don't care who you used to be. That bastard may be part of who you are but he isn't you. You are a very different man now that you don't have to deal with Politics." She gently wiped away the tear that was tracking down the side of his face.

Malcolm whispered, "You're not dumping me?"

Clara kissed his cheek and replied, "No. Like I told you last night. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going anywhere if you're not by my side, Malcolm."

Malcolm was awestruck and asked, "Why?" The look on her face said a lot but he had to know for sure.

Clara tapped the tip of his nose with her index finger and replied, "Because Malcolm Dougan Tucker....I love you. Nothing is going to change that." Clara got nervous when she saw a look of complete and utter shock settle on his face. She stammered, "Malcolm? I'm sorry. What did I do wrong?"

Malcolm mentally shook the shock out of his head because he realized she was backpedaling thinking she made a mistake. He cupped her face in his hand and sighed, "I'm sorry. It's just hard to believe. You didn't do anything wrong, mo ionmhuinn Clara."  
Clara turned her head and kissed his palm before asking, "What does that mean?"

Malcolm blushed and replied, " Mo ionmhuinn Clara? It's Scottish for my beloved Clara. Why?"

Clara smiled and replied, "You called me it last night too. Besides I like it. Do I take it that your way of saying I love you?"

Malcolm swallowed and replied, "If you want to believe that you may. I didn't really even plan on telling you the meaning. I will admit that I don't take using Scottish pet names lightly. The person has to be very special to me to use a phrase like that. You are the only one I have ever called that. After my...life it's very hard for me to feel love let alone admit how I feel. It.... doesn't mean I don't feel it. I'm not sure I ever will be able to say the words, Clara. I'm sorry."

Clara realized that for him that was basically a neon sign telling her he loved her and lightly kissed his lips. She whispered, "God, Malcolm. I love you so much. As long as you love me too it doesn't matter if you can't say it right now. ok?"

Malcolm sadly smiled and replied, "Ok. Mo ionmhuinn Clara." He gently ran his knuckles over her face and kissed her lightly on the lips before getting up. He gathered up a pair of pants and a polka dot dress shirt with underwear before he went into the bathroom for a shower. He had a very big problem because as much as he enjoyed her touch he tended to get distracted and excited by it. He didn't consider it a bad thing but right now he wasn't ready to deal with his sexual desires. He knew he loved and desired her but he wasn't ready to sleep with her yet. She was special and he considered her his only chance at happiness so he was fucking going to do it right even if it killed him with frustration. He wasn't a virgin by no means sexually but he was basically a virgin to being in love and sleeping with the one person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with and he didn't want to fuck it up by jumping into bed with her. That was for prostitutes and one night stands not a possible long term relationship with a woman he has fallen in love with and that's what he hoped this would turn out to be. He would court he properly until they were both ready and it could be something special. He was in no hurry. He had waited most of his life for Clara so what was a few more weeks? Months? Or even a year? He needed her to understand what it would mean to him when they reached that point. She is the only woman he would ever consider marrying if she would be able to stand being tied to him and his fucking reputation for the rest of her life. The more he thought about it he thought she was getting enough shit now and if she took his name she'd never get away from the stigma. He shook the thought out of his head because it was too early to even think about marriage and besides she was at least 20 years younger than him. If she fucking stayed with him until he died he'd be lucky because she really did deserve someone younger and less damaged than him.


	11. Clara's Apartment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Malcolm takes Clara home to change.

Malcolm got out of the shower and got dressed before going back to his bedroom to find Clara had made the bed and tried to smooth out her wrinkled clothes. She was holding out a glass of water and pain pills. He took them and swallowed them down with the glass of water before sitting down on the bed to put on his socks. He asked, "Would you like to go somewhere? To get out of the house?"

Clara crawled up behind him and wrapped her arms around his neck while kissing right behind his ear. She chuckled, "I'm all wrinkled. I'd have to change and shower before we could go anywhere."

Malcolm gently held on of the hands that dropped down on his chest and replied, "That's fine. I can take you home first. We can decide where to go after or while you're getting ready. Unless you don't want to go out with me..." He was getting worried again that maybe she wasn't interested in going anywhere with him today. 

Clara lightly smacked his chest with her free hand and scolded, "Stop that. That's fine with me. I want you to understand that I will never blow you off. I am not ashamed of you or our relationship. If I can't do something with you it's only because I have to be somewhere else. Not because I don't want to be with you. If I can take you I will ask you to go with me. Got it?" 

Malcolm chuckled, "Yes, ma'am. Let finish getting ready and we can pop back to your place, yeah?" He saw her smile brightly at him as he went to clean up the whiskey glasses and bottles from the last couple of days. He put the unfinished one back in his cupboard after he found the top. He felt bad that Clara found him drunk on his ass but she seemed to not have an issue with it. He was lost in thought when he heard Clara clear her throat to get his attention.

Clara had gone to the bathroom to try and make herself look presentable enough to go out in public long enough to get home. Then she went looking for Malcolm and found him standing by the kitchen sink tapping the fingers of his right hand on the counter. He seemed to be lost in thought so cleared her throat to try and let him know she was there before she wrapped her arms loosely around his waist and rested her head against his back. She asked, "You all right?"

Malcolm replied, "Sorry. Just thinking. You ready to go?"

Clara tightened her arms to give him a hug before releasing him and replied, "Yeah."

Malcolm went to his room and threw his beige fleece jacket on over his polka dot shirt and slipped into his black loafers. He picked up his cigarettes and lighter putting then in his jacket pocket from his coffee table on the way out the door. He helped Clara with her jacket and waited while she walked out. He said, "OK. Let's go." He locked up on the way out and let Clara into his car and started the engine. He sheepishly said, "Um you'll have to give me directions."

Clara asked, "You never even looked for my apartment? Why not? I gave you the address almost 2 month ago."

Malcolm just replied, "I wasn't ready to know. I looked at it I hadn't given you mine so I had no right to know where you live."

Clara replied, "So? Now that I know where you live you feel you have the right to know where I live too. Gives a new meaning to being on equal ground."

Malcolm said, "I know. It's a weird thing..." He felt her hand on his thigh and glanced at her out of the corner of his eye and noticed the smile on her face.

Clara replied, "Actually I think it's kind of respectful and that makes it endearing." When they got to her apartment building she took his hand and gently tugged him along until they got in the apartment. She said, "It's not very big but it's home. Make yourself at home. I'm going to take a shower and change. She watched him wander around and went to her bedroom to get her clothes and back to the bathroom. When she came back out clean and dressed she didn't know where Malcolm went until she stepped into her bedroom and saw him on the balcony of her room leaning on the railing and smoking a cigarette. She was relieved that he seemed to be relaxed. She finished drying her hair and went back to her room to put on her makeup. That was what she was doing when she finally heard the sliding door finally slide open.

While Clara was in the shower Malcolm had looked around and found she had a balcony off her bedroom. While he didn't plan to intrude on her bedroom he didn't think she'd want him to leave the apartment for a silly cigarette so he took the chance and went on the balcony. He was on his third cigarette when he turned around and saw Clara at her makeup table. She didn't seem to care that he had invaded her most private domain. He finished the cigarette and put it out in the small crystal ashtray he found in the kitchen cupboard and went back into the bedroom carrying the ashtray with him. He said, "Sorry about prancing through your room. I just needed a cigarette and I didn't think you wanted me to leave to go outside so I just used the balcony. I also borrowed this and I'm going go wash it." He walked out of her room but was stopped by her voice.

Clara wasn't surprised he found the only ashtray she owned or that he had "borrowed" it. She smiled and replied, "Put it back where you found it after you wash it. Then come back here." She heard him answer her and continued with her makeup.

Malcolm just smiled and replied, "Yes, Mo ionmhuinn Clara." He washed, dried and put away the ashtray and then went back to her room and sat on her bed when she motioned for him too. He tried not to watch her putting on her makeup but he kept being drawn to her reflection in the three mirrors. In all honesty she was beautiful even without the makeup. That brought him to looking at both their reflections in the mirrors. He still wondered why such a young beautiful woman wanted an old haggard man like him. She could have any fucking man he wanted but she had not only picked him but chased after him. Christ he was old enough to be her father and he looked it too. His hair was all gray, his face and hands were covered in lines, he was gaunt, pale, and haggard looking. He never considered himself a heart throb but now he didn't really even find himself remotely attractive. As far as he was concerned he just looked old and tired. He clasped his hands together between his knees and looked at the floor and debated whether to go have another cigarette. He felt a hand rubbing his shoulders and stiffened for a second before he forced himself to relax.

Clara finished her makeup and noticed Malcolm looking rather glum so she went over and rubbed his shoulders before she sat on the bed. She felt him stiff before relaxing. She reach over and took one of his hands in her own and laced her fingers in with his long thin ones. It took him a minutes but he finally did the same thing and their fingers were laced together. She prodded, "What's wrong?"

Malcolm sighed, "I'm old, Clara. You should be with someone your own age not an old man."

Clara got down on her knees in front of him placing a hand on his thigh to get him to look at her. She said, "I know you are older than me but I don't care. I just want to spend whatever time you have left with you. I love you and I'm never going to leave you. Malcolm? You're not just my boyfriend. You are my best friend. I wouldn't care if you were 100 years old I'd still be right beside you. I hope someday you can just accept that but I'll keep reminding you every day until you die if I have too. Come on and try to cheer up, ok? You're supposed to take me out to do something fun remember?"

Malcolm kissed her forehead and sighed, "All right. I'll try. Where do you want to go?"

Clara said, "Why don't we go shopping and we can take it from there. That all right?"

Malcolm nodded and replied, "Yeah, If that's what you want to do."

Clara stood up and tugged him off the bed and said, "Let's go."

Malcolm just had to smile at the look of utter glee on her face and wondered what he had just gotten himself into. Shopping with Clara should prove to be an adventure.


	12. Shopping with Clara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Malcolm and Clara go shopping and have a heart to heart over dinner
> 
> This I think is one of the longest chapters so far that I've written because I couldn't find a way to break it in two :P
> 
> This just popped in my head so I went with it. So please be gentle :)

Malcolm drove them to the shopping mall and while he didn't really enjoy shopping that much himself he didn't mind doing it with Clara. He watched her while she picked out Christmas presents for her father, step-mother, and gran. Then she picked out gifts for her friends including the one he had thought she was dating before. He was surprised when she told him she had a brother that was a few years older than her that was gay and had a boyfriend about her age. She also got them a present. She even helped him pick out gifts for his sister, niece and nephew. He picked up one for Jamie even though he rarely saw the wee bastard anymore. He suddenly realized Christmas was only about 2 weeks away and he hadn't even gotten Clara a fucking gift yet. Well one thing he planned to do was spoil her now that he knew she was his to spoil. So while she was getting various gifts for everyone she knew he would be running around trying to find gifts for her so she didn't catch him. He wanted to surprise her after all. He had noticed earlier that she had been quite fond of a few pieces of ruby jewelry. They were all shaped like butterflies with CZ accents. He wound up buying a ring (luckily the lady at the counter remembered Clara and her ring and wrist size), earrings, pendant and the matching bracelet in silver. He thought for a minute he may be over doing it but figured fuck it she may as well have the whole fucking set. He couldn't be that extravagant all the time but once or twice a year he could do so he decided every year for Christmas and her birthday he would buy her a new set of jewelry she liked. He was passing by a shop on the way back to the store he had last seen Clara at and saw a figurine in the window that reminded him of her. It was like the silly little gifts he had been buying her all along but he couldn't help it. He had a compulsion to buy her gifts especially ones that reminded him of her so he went and bought it. He also bought her book on places to travel. The last gift he bought her was really a new year's gift to commemorate the start of their relationship. It was a gold locket with a delicate rose gold and silver butterfly engraved on the front. He had the engraving " Mo ionmhuinn Clara, Love Malcolm" put on the back of it. He wrote it and handing to the engraver before he could change his mind and came back for it on another game of hide and seek from Clara.

Clara ran to the different shops and found gifts for her father (a new clock since Linda broke his old one), gran (new dishes to replace the ones that got broken last year) , step-mother Linda (the ugliest sweater she could find because she loves her that much), her brother Mathew (A new blue bowtie with polka-dots) and his boyfriend David (a regular tie to match the bowtie because they like to wear the same pattern on them) before getting something for Danny. Then she helped Malcolm pick out something for his sister and her kids. Then they split up for a while and she just looked around from shop to shop. She figured he went to get other gifts for people and she wanted to buy him a couple of things anyway without him knowing so it worked out for her. She was a bit at a loss of what to buy him. She did stop in a store that had keepsakes they engraved and found a Zippo lighter that she had engraved with "I love you, Clara" and later she found a figurine that reminded her of him so much she had to laugh at it. She chose the lighter because even though she would rather him not smoke because she was concerned about his health she knew because he did smoke the lighter would be something he would always use and have with him. She didn't know if he wore jewelry but she found a men's gold owl pendant that just reminded her of his confused look that he usually directed at her so often that she had to get it for him. She was looking at a dress she really liked but really couldn't afford it after all the gifts she bought when Malcolm found her. 

Malcolm finally found Clara looking at a beautiful powder pink sleeveless knee length dress with red trimmed heart cutouts along the neckline and hem line. He could tell she really wanted it and convinced he to try it on. The only thing he could think was she was fucking gorgeous in that dress and that the rubies would be beautiful with it. He sighed, "You look fucking beautiful, Clara. Your getting it and whatever the fuck else you need to go with it."

Clara sighed, "I can't afford it."

Malcolm said, "That doesn't fucking matter. I want ye to have it. I'm buying it for you. If ye like ye can wear it for Christmas. I'd like to take ye somewhere special."

Clara said, "Malcolm, You don't have too.."

Malcolm stood next to her and hesitantly took her hand and said, "I fucking want to buy it for ye, Mo ionmhuinn Clara. All right?" The next thing he got a shy nod and her arms wrapped around his neck and she pulled him into a chaste kiss.

Clara asked, "Are you sure? I'll need shoes and a purse or clutch to go with it. Is that ok?"

Malcolm smiled with his teeth flashing and replied, "Yes. Whatever ye fucking need, Clara. It's fucking Christmas!"Before they left Clara had picked out a pair of heels in powder pink with red bows and a small powder pink purse with red accents. He carried a lot of Clara's bags as well as his own to the car when they were done shopping and had to admit he enjoyed making her happy and he was glad he could make her happy. He was surprised they had been shopping for 6 hours and it was now dinner time. After the bags were in the car they went to dinner at a decently priced restaurant nearby. The print on the menu was pretty small and he couldn't read it so he had put on his glasses. He heard a slight giggle and looked over his glasses at Clara who was smiling at him. He asked, "What's so funny? Do I look that funny?"

Clara had forgotten that Malcolm had a pair of tortie glasses for reading. She started to giggle and when he asked her she said, "No... I actually think you look really sexy and adorable with them on. Even with your fluffy cross eyebrows."

Malcolm sighed, "Well the years at Number 10 not only fucking destroyed my faith and trust in people but all the fucking paperwork destroyed my eyes as well. Now I normally can't read without glasses or do any other delicate work. Order whatever ye like, Clara."

Clara had noticed that today his accent has been more pronounced the latter half of the day. She asked, "Malcolm? Your accent has gotten more pronounced. Is there a reason?"

Malcolm had noticed it and knew exactly why it was heavier and sighed. He forced himself to control it as he said, "Sorry. That's my natural brogue. I really have a fairly thick brogue but control it and force myself to not use it. I only slip into it when I am comfortable and trust someone. I tend to forget to control it. I'll pay more attention to it."

Clara put a hand on his arm and replied, "God no that's not why I asked. It was just curiosity because I didn't realize that since you already had a Scottish accent that you would be hiding a thicker one under it. I actually like your natural one better. I find it really sexy. So what you're saying is that you are comfortable around me and trust me? Thank you."

Malcolm was very relieved because it meant that she accepted him even more. He naturally controlled his brogue around people he didn't trust or like but it was very hard to do it with someone as close as Clara was to him now. He said, "The thicker brogue means I'm letting my guard down more around ye. After last night and this morning I trust ye enough to let ye in and know who I am inside. It will take time but ye may not like who I am privately. I am a very insecure man and paranoid that can be hurt badly. I am also a very jealous and possessive man. I will treat ye like a queen but I need ye to understand that ye will be mine and mine alone. I will not share ye with anyone else. I'm not saying ye can't have family or friends but I have to know ye want to be with me and only me. I will not have an intimate relationship where I have to compete with another man or woman for your affection or attention. I am all or nothing. I either have all of ye or I don't want anything. I have always been like this which is a reason why I never bothered with relationships. I never trusted anyone enough to let them in because once I let them in the own me completely. I have to give everything or nothing and I simply expect the same in return. I am completely devoted to that one person. I don't cheat on them and am totally theirs. So devoted that I my life is nothing without them nor will I want to live without them. I guess the one way to describe it is I'm like a devoted puppy trying to please it's master and I'd be completely lost without my master."

Clara was stunned because she never expected him to be so open about his feelings nor that submissive to anyone. She had seen bits and pieces of him trying to please her and now it makes sense because she finally has something to reference it too. He needs a dominate partner that is as devoted to him as he is to them. She said, So...you're a closet submissive? Like to bossed around?"

Malcolm gulped and replied, "That's one way to put it but...I will only submit to a person I completely trust and love. It has to be a mutually relationship and on equal ground at the same time. I'm not talking a sexual dominate/submissive relationship. I'm only refer to personalities. My natural personality is passive or submissive by nature but that doesn't mean I will be walked all over. As ye know I am perfectly capable of fighting and standing up for myself but if I have the right person I shouldn't have to all that much."

Clara asked, "Why are you telling me this?" She had a feeling she knew but she needed him to verify it.

Malcolm chuckled and replied, "Well...I was hoping ye might one day want to be that person. Ye are a control-freak and I mean that with a lot of fondness but that means you are a more dominate personality. I umm like it when ye boss me around. I also thought ye should know up front how serious a relationship is for me. You are the only person I ever wanted to have a long term relationship with my whole life. I've had a few short ones but none of them lasted long enough to amount to anything. I couldn't feel anything emotionally for them beyond fondness but nothing deep enough to make me want to let them in. Ye are the first one I have ever felt a real emotional attachment to in my life. My attachment to ye is as important to me as breathing. As we get closer my existence with become more dependent on our relationship. It is very hard for me to talk about feelings but I have to try because I want you to understand why I act like I do when you hurt my feelings whether you did it on purpose or not. Ye may have noticed my personality changes back to Tucker or I get distant, cold and quiet. It's a defense mechanism because I am horrible at talking about feelings. In cases like that you'll have to either let me brood until I blow up or push me until I talk. I also wanted to try and help ye understand that if you go all the way in this relationship with me...I will be so deeply attached to you that breaking up would probably kill me. My emotions are very intense because I've suppressed them for my whole life. I have never found the right mate because I mate for life." He was terrified about baring his soul like that but he needed to try and make her understand that this wasn't just a fling or short term relationship for him. That she was going to be his only relationship until he died and if they failed he wouldn't want to be around to deal with the pain from the failure.

Clara said, "Wow. I'm not sure what to say. I am glad you are trying to communicate though. It does explain a few things I didn't understand before. " She noticed he was giving her time to process what he had just told her.

After they finished eating and were walking back to the car he took hold of her hands and Malcolm stammered, "I guess the question is can you deal with an over sensitive and insecure life mate who's mental and emotional stability will depend on you?"

Clara gently grabbed his jacket and pulled him down and kissed his cheek. She replied, "I love you. I'm all ready emotionally involved with you. You and your quirks, insecurities, mood swings, and everything else. Yes, Malcolm. I'm all ready yours. Have been for a while." For the first time since they became a couple she felt him wraps his arms around her and rest his head on her shoulder.

Malcolm was so relieved he wrapped her tightly in his arms and silently cried with relief that she didn't reject him because he was very needy in a relationship. He whispered, "Thank you, Clara. My Clara. Mo ionmhuinn Clara. " She had given him permission to consider her his Clara and that's what he would call her until the day he died. 

Clara said, "My Malcolm. I may belong to you now but you belong to me too. We belong to each other right? A bit like marriage?"

Malcolm said, "Yes, ma'am. More bonding than marriage though. Marriage is based on a piece of paper legally binding you. This is a relationship based on emotional bonding. It's more important. To me anyway. Let's get you home." He realized as he drove home he was finally content and confident that Clara was happy having him as her boyfriend. He hadn't planned on having that intense conversation yet but he felt better now that it was out in the open and Clara still said yes to him. When they got back to her place he made sure he left Clara's gifts that she didn't know about in the car. He'd either try to wrap them himself or ask his sister, Annie, to do it for him. All the other presents he took in the apartment as she offered to wrap his gifts for his people too. He set the shopping bags down by the coffee table where he told him to in the living room.

Clara got them both a cup of tea and then started wrapping presents. She did his first so if he was going home he could take them with him. She would glance at him once and a while and see him standing and staring out the window with a sad look on his face. She was finding that Malcolm's normally relaxed look on his face was sad even when he was happy. He didn't smile much but practically was always frowning. She was starting to figure out that a frown for Malcolm was his neutral face. She asked, "You all right, Malcolm?"

Malcolm turned and look at Clara and replied, "Fine. Sorry. Just thinking. I'm going to have a cigarette." He went a got the ashtray from the counter and went out on the balcony. He was still worried about what would happen as he got older with his relationship with Clara but for now he knew it was stable and he was happy about that. He wound up smoking 3 cigarettes and was working on his fourth when his thoughts were disrupted by Clara coming out with him.

Clara had started to get worried about Malcolm because it had been a half an hour and he hadn't come back in yet so she went to check on him. She saw him leaning against the railing with one arm and holding his cigarette in the other hand over the ashtray when he wasn't puffing on it. She went on the balcony and grasped the arm resting on the railing and said, "Come back inside. It's cold out here. You've been out here for over a half an hour. You're starting to worry me." She waited with him until he finished his cigarette and then gently drug him back inside the apartment where it was warm. She drug him unresisting into the living room and had him sit on the couch. She curled up next to his side and felt an arm go around her shoulders and wrapped an arm around his still too skinny waist. They were watching TV when she noticed he had dozed off on her when he coughed and she felt him shift position a bit. Eventually she gently shook him awake and said, "Come on, sleepy head. Let's get you to bed."

Malcolm mumbled, "I don't have any fucking clothes here and we have fucking work in the morning. *yawn* I have to go home even though I'd like to stay with you."

Clara sighed, "Well you're not driving half asleep. Let me pack an overnight back and I'll go with you to your place." She knew he'd never be able to drive as tired as he is and needed his car to get to work so the only thing she could do was go with him. She packed what she needed for work tomorrow and put it in the car before getting Malcolm to move and down to the car. When they got back to his place she put his keys on the hook by the door where he told her to and got him to his bedroom to change. She then got her own clothes, found a hanger and hung them up so they wouldn't get wrinkled. After that she went upstairs and found him already in bed so she went in the bathroom and changed into a pair of sweat pants and a tank top before crawling into the bed next to him. 

Malcolm usually couldn't sleep but tonight he just couldn't help it. He changed into a pair of flannel bottoms and his holey sweater before sliding into bed. He had heard Clara come in and felt her get on the bed even though he was half out of it by then. When she didn't curl up against him he rolled onto his side facing her and spooned up behind her with an arm around her waist. He asked, "This ok?"

Clara sighed, "More than ok. Night, Malcolm." She drifted off to sleep after she heard his breathing deepen and he started to snore. She smiled because it reminded her of a cat purring in contentment.

Malcolm mumbled , "Night, my Clara." He was asleep almost instantly.


	13. She's Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Malcolm gets Jealous and defensive

The next morning Malcolm woke up at 5am and watched Clara sleep for a few minutes before he got up and took a shower. He wasn't feeling very well and was still tired but ignored it and got dressed for work. Today he decided to wear a striped cotton dress shirt with a black jumper, black Dockers, and brown loafers. He shook his head at the 5 Armani suits in his closet from his days at Number 10 and knew he'd probably never wear them again. It wasn't like a school caretaker needed them for anything. He thought about giving them away but never could bring himself to do it. He closed the closet and went to make breakfast so they could eat before going to work. After a few minutes he noticed Clara standing in her pajamas by the counter. He smiled minutely and said, "Morning, Mo ionmhuinn. How did you sleep?"

Clara was sad by the empty space on the bed when she woke up and then saw what time it was and panicked. She got up and found Malcolm cooking breakfast. She yawned and replied, "All right. Do you mind if I take a shower?"

Malcolm chuckled and replied, "Ye can do anything ye fucking like, my Clara. We are together now. You are welcome here whenever the fuck ye like. Ye can even bring some clothes if ye like. I have room in my closet for them. Which reminds me. Here is my house key. Don't ye go loosing it or fucking selling, it, okay?" He opened her palm and placed a key in her hand and folded her fingers over it.

Clara was surprised when he handed her the key. It took her a minute to realized the last bit about selling it was a joke. She had to smile as his ok came out thick with his accent like he was saying hoookkay. The longer she heard his thicker accent the more she loved it. She replied, "Got it. No selling it on e-bay." She had noticed he wasn't swearing quite as much as he did before. She also realized the whole heart to heart they had yesterday he didn't swear once during it. She did appreciate that he didn't when he was being honest and somehow that made the conversation even more important because it meant he was choosing his words carefully. She went and took her shower and got dressed while he finished making breakfast. After they ate they got in the car and drove to the school.

Before they separated Malcolm leaned down and gave her a kiss on the forehead. He gently ran his knuckles over her cheek and quietly said, "I'll see ye at lunch time, okay?" He was so happy she didn't shy away or scold him for being affectionate in public. Now that she had agreed to be his he wanted to make sure everyone knew she was his woman and unavailable. He knew it was the same as marking his territory but he'd be god damned if some other bastard is going to try to get her attention without knowing the velociraptor of a spin doctor all ready owns her. He was very fucking territorial and that went along with his possessiveness. He would fight for her as long as she was still his to keep.

Clara placed a hand over his and replied, "Yeah. I'll meet you at the caretaker building." She smiled when he nodded before they separated and went their separate ways. She was pleasantly surprised that since they had their heart to heart that Malcolm isn't afraid to be affectionate with her anymore not even at work. She was glad because she wasn't ashamed of their relationship and nor did she want to hide it. She had given him permission to claim her as his and she was guessing now he was not afraid to make sure the world knew who she belonged too. He needed that because of his insecurity. She was willing to give him that control since he was giving her control of just about everything else. At lunchtime she ran into Danny and started talking with him and gave him his Christmas present. She said, "I have to go meet Malcolm. He doesn't go to lunch unless I drag him to the cafeteria."

Malcolm had come looking for Clara and saw he talking to the Math's teacher again. He was close enough to hear parts of the conversation. He practically growl in jealousy but forced it down because Clara had said they were only friends and he trusted her to not lie about that especially when he admitted to being a possessive and jealous fucking bastard.

Danny asked, "Why do you spend so much time with him, Clara? He's probably twice your age, has an awful reputation, and just doesn't fit in around here."

Clara got so mad she yelled, "Because I love him, Danny! You don't know him like I do. Under that unfriendly exterior he really is a wonderful person and I wouldn't trade him for anything. He's a gentleman when given the chance. I know you wouldn't understand but I am happy when I am with him. He treats me like I am the best girl in the world. I like to think I make him happy as well."

Danny sighed, "All right, Clara. Just be careful all right? I don't want you to hurt but one of the people who really hate him."

Malcolm came out then and growled, "I'm not going to let anything fucking happen to my Clara. She's mine now and if anyone tries to fucking hurt her they will know my fucking wrath. You may not believe this but I'm stronger than I look. I can also fucking ruin them. I'm a fucking spin-doctor and I know a lot of secrets! I even know yours Danny Pink. The soldier who regrets a certain unnecessary death of a child. I know or can find out anyone's secrets and destroy them with that information. That's what I did for 20 years. So do yourself a favor and don't try to fuck with me PE. This velociraptor fucking bites back. Now FUCK OFF!" Through that whole speech he felt Clara trying to tug on his arm to get him to stop his tirade but he was pissed off by this "friend" who thought he was incapable of taking care of what was his or defending the love of his life.

Clara said, "Malcolm, Danny didn't mean anything by it. He didn't deserve to be treated like that. You may not want to apologize to Danny but you will bloody well apologize to me! Now shut up! Please just let me talk to Danny a minute then we'll go to lunch." The only thing she could admire was how flawlessly he could move from his natural accent to the lighter one when talking to anyone else.

Danny was completely shocked by Malcolm's mouth but not as much as by the fact that apparently he thought that he could claim Clara belonged to him like a piece of property. He said, "Are you really going to let him treat you like a piece of furniture? Like he owns you?"

Clara sighed, "I am his and I gave him permission to say so. He's very possessive and that's how he talks about it but under all of that bluster he's a sweet man who treats me like a queen. Yes I belong to him but he also belongs to me. I am his equal not his furniture. He doesn't control me and he doesn't want too. Our relationship is deeper than that. In the end I am the one in control. Come along, Malcolm. Do as you are told." She took his hand and he followed her like the good Pit bull he promised to be. She was angry at both of them. Danny because he didn't understand their relationship or know Malcolm. She was mad at Malcolm because he didn't have to be that cruel to Danny. It was also unlike Malcolm to be so silent. She stopped them in an empty classroom and looked at him. He had a kicked puppy look on his face and worry in his eyes. She asked, "Malcolm?"

Malcolm could see the anger in Clara's face and eyes because he ripped Danny apart. That was actually just a scolding by Tucker standards. If he really wanted to tear him apart he would have ripped his bullocks off and shoved them down his throat. He would have had the man terrified but he reigned in his temper because he was Clara's "friend" but that was the only reason why he did it. It felt like the little bastard was challenging his ability to be a man and defend Clara. As they walked he started to worry about Clara's anger because she wasn't talking to him. He was terrified of losing her now that he had found her. He followed her like an obedient puppy in hopes that she would calm down if he did as he was told. When she guided him into a classroom and spoke he whispered, "I'm sorry, Clara. It felt like he was fucking challenging me. I can't lose ye. Please..."

Clara wrapped her arms around his waist and sighed, "You silly old man. Just because I'm angry with you doesn't mean I'm going to leave you.. I do think you have to learn to control your temper a bit though with other people. You can't just rip someone apart just because you didn't like something they said. Can you try? For me?"

Malcolm choked, "Whatever ye want just don't go. Please..."He was surprised when he got a light kiss on his lips before they started walking to the cafeteria again. He got a chicken salad sandwich and a bag of crisped before sitting down at a table to wait for Clara. He noticed she got him a cup of tea and smiled as a thank you. He wasn't really hungry but knew if he didn't eat Clara would hound him until he did so he ate his lunch. Sometimes he wondered if she was trying to get him fat even though he did have a long way to go before he was actually considered fat. Since he met Clara he had gained weight because of her practically force feeding him. He had noticed he did look less haggard now that his face filled out a little even though it's still thin. He had noticed he had love handle and was starting to get a protruding little paunch of a belly. It stuck out a bit over his belt but other than that it wasn't all that noticeable unless he was naked. He hid it under a jumper most of the time anyway. He sometimes worried about if Clara would feel the same about him if she saw him naked. He wasn't young or fit anymore. He was actually downright soft and squishy really and now he was getting a round belly to top it off. He dreaded the day but he knew eventually he would know the answer to that. He still didn't understand what drew her to him in the first place. She's young and beautiful. She could have any fucking man she wanted and yet she picked him.

Clara was glad he was finally eating without an argument because he was finally starting to look less haggard and sickly. She privately had called him her angry, gray haired stick insect. She worried about him because he hardly ate, smoked and usually looked like death warmed over when she met him. She had always been attracted to older men and she was immediately attracted to him but he was way too thin so she made it her goal to fatten him up so that he looked healthier and wasn't skin and bones. She wasn't trying to make him fat per say just a little stockier and healthier looking. If he got a little rounder in the middle all the better. She liked him better with a little meat on his bones. He was quite handsome at a proper weight for a man of 56. He even looked a little younger now than he had when they met. She knew he wasn't capable of taking care of himself properly so she had decided she would make sure he ate and got out of the house as well as not have to be alone as much as he had been. When lunch was almost over she let him walk her back to her classroom. She had sit on the end of her desk so they were the same height and kissed him firmly before wrapping her arms around his neck in a hug. She felt his arms go tightly around her. She pulled back and said, "I love you. Don't you forget that. Even when I'm angry with you. Now I got kids to try and teach and you have floors to sweep. I'll see you after school. I have to stop at my place and pick up some things before we go back to your place, yeah?"

Malcolm was relieved when she still wanted to go to his place and replied, "Yeah. No problem. See ye later, Mo ionmhuinn Clara." He then hugged her again and kissed her forehead before standing and leaving the classroom. He went to have a quick walk and a cigarette before going back to work. He found it funny how he never smoked during the school day much anymore because he usually would do it at lunch when he took a walk but now Clara takes up all his lunch time but he smiled as he realized he didn't really care about it as long as she was there. He was rather glad he wasn't really a heavy smoker anymore. He had been able to cut down a lot after he no longer had the stress he always had in politics. He used to smoke a pack a day sometimes two on the worst days and now he only usually had 4-6 cigarettes a day only for a while (the last week) his nerves had him smoking more because of Clara. He was so nervous of fucking up what he has with her that he was smoking more although even then it was usually no more than 8 in a day. It was one of his many nervous habits like chewing on his thumb, pacing, stammering, running his hands through his all ready messed up hair, or scrubbing his hand over his face. He didn't smoke in his home or anyone else's nor in cars. Only place he used to smoke sometimes was at Number 10 because that was where he was the most stressed. He actually was in a way relieved to be doing a simple stress free job like this because he had been having chest pains while he was still at Number 10 and knew sooner or later he would have probably had a fucking heart attack from the stress.


	14. Commitment Rings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clara decides Malcolm needs a new ring.
> 
> Toothache ahead lol :P

When the day was over Clara finally went to look for Malcolm and eventually found him still sweeping classrooms. She wrapped her arms around his waist from behind and said, "Hey. How much more have you got to do here?" She felt him stiffen until he recognized her voice and then entwined one of his hands with hers.

Malcolm replied, "I have 4 more rooms, lassie. One of which looks like a fucking bomb went the fuck off in it. Ye may want ta take the car and get what ye need from your place and then fucking come back for me. I'm going ta fucking be a while."He put his free hand to his head as his body reminded him he hadn't felt well since morning. 

Clara noticed the change in him and circled around to stand in front of him without letting go of his hand. She realized he looked pale and ill. She said, "Malcolm? Are you all right? You don't look so good."

Malcolm sighed, "I'm....not feeling too well. Haven't been since this morning. It's probably just something I fucking caught from the little pudding brains. Maybe I'm just tired. No need ta worry your pretty head, my Clara. Now go on and get what ye need from your place. I'll hopefully be fucking done by time ye get back." He had been light headed on and off all day long and felt so fucking exhausted he was dragging and moving too slow. He usually was done with his work before the school let out but today he couldn't seem to find the fucking energy. He watched her hesitantly leave and then went back to work. 

Clara went to her apartment but Malcolm being ill concerned her because from what she could tell he rarely got sick. As far as she knew the only time he was "ill" since she's known him was when he electrocuted himself the day after they met. She packed some clothes, makeup, and other necessary items before packing it in the car and driving back to the school to pick up Malcolm. She was hoping he just got the flu or something from the kids. She found him in the caretaker's building putting supplies away and talking on his cell phone in a different language. She guessed it might be Gaelic since he's Scottish. She heard her name and was then curious who he was talking too but didn't want to seem nosey. The only thing she knew was it wasn't because she was there since he hadn't even noticed her yet.

Malcolm had gotten a phone call from him mother while he was waiting for Clara to get back. His mom preferred him to speak Gaelic with her even though she knew English and so he told her about Clara and that no his girlfriend didn't speak Gaelic, yes she was English, yes he was happy for the first time in a long time, no he wasn't sure when he could come to see her, yes he would bring Clara if she wanted to go with him, yes she was quite a bit younger than him, yes he was in love with her, yes she was the one he wanted to live with for the rest of his life, no he hadn't asked her to marry him, yes he might like to marry her someday but he wasn't sure if she would want to marry him, no he didn't know if she wanted children with him, no he wouldn't tell her she can't have children if she wanted them, yes he wanted her to be happy even if he thought he was too old to start a family (he was fucking old enough to be a grandfather for Christ sake), yes he knew his mother wanted him to give her grandchildren, no he wasn't sure if he'd teach any of their children Gaelic, yes he was spoiling her, yes he was courting her properly, yes they have slept in the same bed and no they have not had sex yet. He forgot how his mother would be if he ever found the right woman. He noticed a movement out of the corner of his and turned to see Clara leaning on the table off to his left and told his mother he had to go because Clara had come back to pick him up. He sighed, "How long have ye been standing there?"

Clara smiled and replied, "Oh about 15 minutes."

Malcolm groaned, "Sorry. Ye should just have fucking said something. Ye shouldn't have to fucking stand there that long while I'm on the phone."

Clara replied, "I really didn't mind. I actually enjoyed listening to you voice speaking that language. It sounded sexy like your accent. Was it Gaelic?"

Malcolm sighed, "Aye it was. My mam refuses to speak English with me. Stubborn old Scottish woman she is. She thinks I should teach ye Gaelic since ye are my girlfriend."

Clara chuckled, "Did she want you to teach it to all your girlfriends?"  
Malcolm blushed and quietly answered, "No. Just you."

Clara took his hand and asked, "Why me then?"

Malcolm stammered, "Because...ye are the one I want ta spend the rest of my life with...That isn't something I ever wanted or planned on before I met ye. That makes ye special. Mam knows I planned to die a lonely miserable old man. Ye give me hope that maybe I won't."

Clara wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him. She had always wondered why Malcolm wore a wedding band on his finger if he had never been married before. She finally asked, "Why do you were a wedding band, Malcolm?"

Malcolm looked down at it and said, "To remind me of something I'd never fucking achieve. Something my sister has and I wanted but was incapable of doing. Never could find a woman who didn't want something out of me or who wanted me for me and not my fucking status and connections. I'd never be a good husband or father especially not while I was in Downing Street. Then after fucking shit that got me thrown out of politics...Who would want to marry me? I'm almost 60 fucking years old, used, and abused. I'm nothing more than a fucking husk. I'd just cause them fucking embarrassment and children? Fuck...They'd probably be tormented because their fucking father was too old and a backstabbing fucking bastard cunt. Not to mention I'm the fucking bully of Downing Street.... You are the first person in a very long time to truly care about what happens to me. To accept me and want to be part of my life because ye like me. I know ye may not want everything I want but I can be content with what ye are willing to give me as long as I have you. Fuck, Clara. I'm sorry. I'm such a fucking mess it's a wonder ye even want me." As he went on with his tirade he was practically yelling by the end of it. She also noticed he was getting agitated and constantly running his hands through his hair while he paced back and forth. It took her a while to figure it out but by now she knew that they were habits like his thumb biting that he tended to do when nervous, agitated or stressed. 

Clara stepped in his path and gently push him back until he ran into the work bench and sat on the corner of it. She ran her hands up and down the lapels of his caretaker's jacket while rubbing them between her thumb and first finger. She lightly kissed his lips and said, "Ok so you're a mess and have a bad reputation but I've told you before that I don't care. We don't choose who we fall in love with and I fell in love with you. I plan to stay with you for as long as you live unless for some reason we don't work out but at this point I don't see it not working. As for that bloody ring.....What size ring do you wear? I want to replace that....thing with something to remind you that you have me now. I want it to remind you that you deserve to be loved and cared about. In fact maybe we'll get a set to remind us both that we have each other from now on if you want." She didn't mention marriage and kids because she knew it would take time for him to believe he was deserving of a family and someone who loves him. She hopes someday he will ask her to marry him but she's not ready for that step yet herself so she was more than happy to wait until he was ready and confident enough to ask. She made him take her to a jewelry store before going home once he agreed to get matching rings. 

Malcolm decided to do as Clara wanted but only if she got one too. It took them a while but they finally agreed on a "matching" set with a square blue sapphire with 2 blue topaz on either side for him and Clara was a heart shaped blue sapphire with blue topaz tear shaped stones surrounding the sapphire. He let Clara take off the old worn gold wedding band and place his new ring on in its place. He then took the band and put it in the box from the new one. He was smiling when Clara handed him the box for her ring and allowed him to put it on her wedding ring finger. He said, "Ye do realize what this mean to me right?"

Clara smiled and replied, "That we are committed to each other as long as we live? I believe you call it an emotional commitment. The rings we are wearing now signify our emotional reliance on each other in our relationship. It also signifies that we both have someone who loves us unconditionally."

Malcolm kissed her forehead and replied, "Yes. This is a step in many of our commitment to each other. Thank ye for agreeing to this. To wearing matching rings...It means so much to me. What we agreed on for matching rings anyway."

Clara sighed, "I will spend forever trying to get you to believe you deserve to be happy and that I love you. I want to be with you and if wearing your ring helps to prove that then I'm more than happy to wear it. Hopefully someday maybe we'll have different rings to wear that match. Let's go home, Malcolm." One the drive home she kept her hand on Malcolm's thigh and smiled at him. She took her bag to the bedroom and he showed her where she could keep her things she brought with her. She hung up her clothes and put he other things in the drawer Malcolm emptied for her. After that she made them a light dinner of soup and sandwiches before they sat and watched TV for a while before going to bed.

Malcolm was very happy and content now that Clara brought some of her things and agreed to wear his ring. He hoped that maybe someday she might marry him if he asked. He wouldn't take the ring off that he now wore and he was hoping that Clara wouldn't take hers off either but he knew she was a woman and women liked to wear different jewelry all the time. When they were changed into their pajamas and settled in bed he kept rubbing his fingers over Clara's hand and ring. He had opted to lay on his back and Clara curled up on his shoulder. Her left hand was just below his ribcage where every once and a while she would tickle him. He eventually nodded off to sleep holding Clara's hand tightly.

Clara knew her wearing Malcolm's ring was as important as him having a ring to replace that dreadful wedding band so she planned on not taking it off unless she really had too. She loved him and also wanted to make him happy. She heard him start to purr which meant he was snoring and she eventually drifted off held safely in Malcolm's arms.


	15. Insomnia is a Bitch

Malcolm woke up about 3 in the morning and knew he was going to get back to sleep. Fucking insomnia was a pain in fucking the ass. He gently slipped out of bed so he didn't disturb Clara. Just because he was an insomniac didn't mean she shouldn't be able to sleep. He put on his gray robe with black trim around the collar and sleeves. He tied the sash and went downstairs to the kitchen to make a cup of tea. He had been lucky that the Lunesta he took t night had helped him stay asleep while Clara was by his side but not tonight. Working for days on end with no rest at Number 10 caused the insomnia and it never went away just wasn't as bad as it used to be because "there's a fucking pill for that" so he takes it because he's getting to old to not get sleep at night. After he made his tea he put it down on the coffee table and laid down on the sofa before turning the TV on low. He wasn't sure how long he was there before he felt a gently hand in his hair. 

Clara woke with a start and realized she woke up because Malcolm wasn't in bed with her. She looked at the clock and saw it was 4 in the morning. When he didn't come back she got out of bed and went looking for him. She eventually found him laying on the sofa in the living room with the TV on. He had his eyes closed when she carded her fingers through his curly gray hair. She said, "It's 4 in the morning, Malcolm. Come back to bed."

Malcolm opened his eyes and looked at Clara before sitting up so she could sit next to him. He sighed, "I'm sorry if I disturbed ye. I just couldn't sleep any longer so I figured I'd let ye sleep."

Clara asked, "Why couldn't you sleep? You look exhausted."

Malcolm groaned, "I'm a fucking insomniac. I take medication for it but it still doesn't always work. This is fucking normal for me. Sometimes I have to get completely drunk before I can fall asleep. If ye don't want to sleep with me I couldn't fucking blame ye. I'm up at all hours of the night."

Clara took his hand and caressed his cheek with the back of her free hand to get him to look at her. She said, "It's all right that you're an insomniac. I wish you weren't because I worry about you and not because it bothers me when you get up. It just scared me when you were gone since you neglected to warn me about it. What else are you not telling me?"

Malcolm knew he should tell her his other issues and the medications he took for them because she would find out sooner or later and it was better if he told her himself. He sighed, "I have high blood pressure, anxiety, COPD, and depression. I take medication for all of them. Being a stupid cunt and electrocuting myself did not help my health one fucking bit. Combine that with rheumatoid arthritis and ye got agony for a week. I'm not fucking dying any time soon so ye don't have to worry about that. My doctor says considering the history I have of stress, lifestyle, lack of sleep, age, smoking, and....suicide attempts I'm still fairly healthy and can expect to live for possibly another 20 or 30 years. That's not counting heart attack, cancer, stroke or accidents. I am taking aspirin to decrease the possibility of a heart attack. So the only things that could get me is probably cancer or a stroke but can't win them all. I have no desire to stop smoking just because of that. Something will kill me someday anyway."

Clara wasn't all that surprised about his health conditions based on what she knew about his life before her. She was relieved that he wasn't going to die on her in a short time. That worried her to no end because she loved him so much. She wanted to be able to have the most time she could possibly have with him. She knew he would die long before her but she wanted to put off the inevitable as long as she could. As long as he was in relatively good health they'd have a lot of years to spend together. When the time came that he needed her to take care of him she would find away to make sure he stayed in their home and with her. Until then she was going to try and enjoy the time they have now. She said, "Thank you for telling me. I'd rather know than have a sudden disaster because you didn't trust me enough to make sure I wouldn't freak out."

Malcolm wrapped his arm around her and gently pulled her back against the sofa cushions with him. He said, "It's not that I don't trust you. If I didn't trust you I would never have told ye where I live let alone given ye a key to my home. I also wouldn't have asked ye to be my.... significant other. No, my Clara. It's not you. It's me. I just have a hard time divulging personal information about myself because while I was at Downing Street I could get fucked up the ass for any sign or mention of weakness. It's just hard sometimes to override the ingrained self preservation. Please... just be patient and in time....I'll tell ye whatever ye want to know. Now I think ye should get back to bed. Ye got to get up in a couple of hours."

Clara sighed, "I'm staying with you. I want to snuggle so I'll just sleep on you."

Malcolm grumbled, "All right. Ye win. I'll come upstairs and snuggle with ye. Come on." He got up with her and went back to bed and she curled up against him with her head on his shoulder and her left hand entwined with his resting on the slight swell of his belly. He coughed a couple of times and cleared his throat. He gently caressed Clara's head with his left hand and sighed in contentment when she snuggled closer to him. He just let her use him as a pillow and sleep until the alarm went off. He gently shook her shoulder and said, "Clara? Time to get up."

Clara was actually surprised Malcolm had stayed with her even though he didn't sleep. She groaned, "Morning, handsome." She kissed the exposed skin of his collar bone, then his neck, cheek and ending on his lips. She had always loved how he smelled of old spice, menthol, and something like oranges. She could only smell cigarettes on him when he smoked too much. He didn't smell as badly of smoke like he had the last week so it meant he was not smoking as much. She was relieved by that thought. She had heard his breath hitch as she kissed her trail to his lips and saw the surprised look on his face. She chuckled, "What? I can't cover my mate with kisses when I wake up?"

Malcolm was surprised when Clara started making a burning trail of kisses from his collar bone to his lips. He knew it couldn't be meant as erotic as it felt but his body had other ideas. He couldn't help when his breathing hitched because he liked it. He was so rarely touched like Clara touched him in his life that he was starved for it and tended to create an immediate physical reaction that he couldn't control. He replied, "No.. I mean yes ye can. It's just.....Fuck. Nevermind. Not important. I'm going ta take a shower." He needed a fucking cold shower now that his anatomy had woken up. He had to get away from Clara right now or he wouldn't be able to stop himself from taking her here and now. He wanted it to be mutual not because he couldn't control his fucking cock. Fucking hormones had him as horny as a god damn teenager. He quickly gathered his clothes and ran to the bathroom shutting the door behind him. When he was washed and dressed he went let Clara know she could have the bathroom while he went to make breakfast. He noticed his tremors in his hands were more noticeable today because of being exhausted and he knew Clara would probably notice them.

Clara was confused when Malcolm ran off like he did. She was pretty sure that he had liked what she was doing based on his physical responses while she was kissing him. But he ran away like he'd been burnt instead of asking her continue. She had been in the mood and trying to subtly tell him but he just up and ran away like she had stung him. She also was confused as to why he hadn't made love to her when they have been together almost 3 months now. She didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable by rushing him but it does make her wonder if he was even physically turned on by her. She was starting to wonder if maybe he just wanted a companion instead of a lover. Maybe he wasn't interested in sex or maybe he couldn't have sex for some reason. She was all right with that but she thought she had the right to know so she knew if she had to take care of her own sexual frustration. But she had no idea how to approach the subject without embarrassing the hell out of him. When she got to the kitchen Malcolm was setting down 2 plates of eggs and toast with coffee. She was wondering why he seemed to be practically avoiding her. She finally sighed, "What's wrong, Malcolm? Why the bloody hell are you avoiding me?"

Malcolm had been busing himself around the kitchen and then when Clara came in he avoided touching her because he was trying to avoid her noticing how badly his hands were shaking. When she called him on it he replied, "I'm not fucking avoiding ye. I'm just busy with fucking breakfast, Clara." When he sat down and they started eating he knew he couldn't avoid touching for much longer. He unintentionally jumped when Clara put her hand on his and it didn't help that it was shaking from nerves. He really hated how shaky and nervous he winds up around Clara. It wasn't her fault and he suddenly remembered why he was such a mess. He had forgotten to take his pills. No wonder he was so agitated and nervous. He jumped up and went to his kitchen drawer and found his pill box. He dumped his morning pills in his hand and threw them in his mouth and grabbed his coffee. He was glad it was only warm now because he drank half of it to swallow his pills. He tried to eat some on his breakfast but got tired of trying to eat with his hands shaking so he just placed them on the table.

Clara placed her hand on top of one of his and noticed how badly it was shaking. That worried her because she didn't remember him shaking like this before. She demanded, "What is wrong? Why are your hands shaking so badly? Are you still ill? You are acting weird. I don't remember you being so....jumpy and .....adverse to being touched since we met."

Malcolm just tried to hide his shaking hands in his lap and replied, "I'm fine. I'm just late taking my medicine. This....will go away when the pills get in my system. This is just what I am like without my medication. Specifically the anxiety med and anticonvulsant. It got worse after Downing Street but it was always there just easier to hide with medication. Now if I miss taking my medication I turn into a jumpy, fidgeting, shaking mess. I have Essential tremors which I inherited from my father that make my hands shake. They are made worse by extreme emotion, stress, physical exhaustion, and low blood sugar. I was able to control them when I was younger but now...I can't. I was told the tremors became more intense because I smoke as well as my advancing age. As I get older they may become harder to control even with medication. Fuck. Someday this might wind up being a good day for me. I'm sorry, Clara. This is why I don't usually let people touch me. I'm not exactly falling apart but there are something that I am afraid ye will have to put up with being with me. "

Clara knelt in front of his chair and took hold of his shaking hands and kissed both the palms. She said, "I was just worried that you were ill or I had done something wrong. I love you and only want to take care of you. I can only do that if you let me." She laid her head down on his thigh.

Malcolm ran one of his hands over her hair even though they were still shaking. He had noticed the tremors were not as bad which meant the pills were taking effect. He sighed, "I know ye are just trying to fucking take care of me. I'm just a fucking stubborn gobshite bastard cunt. I really do fucking appreciate everything ye do for me. I'm sorry I'm fucking shit at thanking ye properly."

Clara asked, "Do you feel better today?"

Malcolm had to think about it for a moment but finally replied, "Better than yesterday? Aye. I'm all right. Probably was nothing. We should probably get to fucking work, Mo ionmhuinn Clara." 

Clara asked, "Malcolm? Can I give you a nickname? I mean you have your Scottish nickname that is just for me so I'd like one that only I call you. Is that ok?"

Malcolm shrugged and replied, "I guess so. Ye can call me anything ye want. Just please not something sickly cute like teddy bear or sugar lips. Those types of names are over used anyway."

Clara laughed, "No I didn't take you for the sweet pet name type. I was thinking something different. I'd like to call you Pepper if that's ok."

Malcolm asked, "Why Pepper?"

Clara stood up and ruffled his messy hair and replied, "Your salt and pepper gray hair. And no it's not to make fun of it. I think gray hair is very sexy especially on you."

Malcolm blushed and sighed, "All right. You can call me Pepper if that amuses ye but if anyone else does I'll fucking kick their ass." The next thing he knew he was getting a long firm kiss on the lips as a thank you.


	16. Texting & Loss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clara learns Malcolm knows how to text and Clara losses someone.

By time they got to work Malcolm's tremors were gone finally masked by the anticonvulsant. He spent the day gluing, nailing, and screwing desks, chairs and tables together again. How these little pudding brains managed to break so much at a time he had no fucking idea. He was glad today was the last day before Christmas vacation but that also meant he was one week away from having to meet Clara's family. He happened to glance at his watch and noticed it was 2 in the afternoon and Clara hadn't come to drag him out to lunch. He sent her a text, "Clara, Is everything all right? You seemed to have missed lunch." He hit send and went back to work again until his cell dinged telling him he had a message.

Clara had been on her way to drag Malcolm to lunch with her but got detained by having to keep an eye on kids that had been making a scene in the cafeteria so she never got to Malcolm or lunch. She was surprised to find out the man knew how to even send a text when she got one from him. She replied, "Sorry, Pepper. I got stuck babysitting. Did you eat anything? Didn't know you knew how to text."

Malcolm smiled at the message he got back and replied, "That's fine. I used to text all the time in Downing Street but I had a blackberry then."

Clara glared at the message knowing he purposely avoided answering if he ate. She sent back, "You didn't eat then. Don't bother denying it. I can tell when you are avoiding the question because you don't want to answer it."

Malcolm sighed and typed back, "Yeah. Fine I didn't eat. You know I won't go to the cafeteria without you. I'm not hungry anyway. I'll take you out to dinner to make it up to you. You choose the day and the restaurant and I'll pay." He knew she hated it when he picked where they ate because of the need to be in control of everything. So he usually just did whatever she wanted him too. He actually loved her bossy nature and it given aroused him to a point. It definitely amused him most of the times but he knew he wouldn't never let anyone else treat him like he let Clara treat him. He knew she was the only one he'd ever allow to completely control him because he wants and allows her to control his life. It was a choice he didn't make lightly because giving someone total control of your life and everything in it could either be a wonderful and fulfilling experience with the right person or fuck you royally up the ass if it's the wrong person so he had to be sure Clara was the one he felt safe giving it too.

Clara shook her head and texted, "You always pay, you silly old man."

Malcolm chuckled and typed, "Well that's my job, yeah? Taking care of my Clara. Whether it's taking you out to eat or buying you things you want. I will take care of you until the day I die no matter how much you protest it. I enjoy spoiling you, Mo ionmhuinn. " That was the truth too. He would do anything for her until his dying breath because he worshipped the ground she walks on. She was the best thing to ever happen to him and saved him from despair by just being herself. Control-freak personality and all.

Sometimes Malcolm drove her crazy but at least she knows he loves her even he's never said the words. She knew he was the type of man who only spoils, protects and takes care of her because he adores her. From what she's seen and heard if he didn't love her he wouldn't go out of his way to make her happy. She replied, "All right. I think about where I want to go and let you know. Love you, Pepper."

Malcolm replied, "Same to you." Then he went back to work until the day was over. He looked up when the door opened and smiled. He said, "Clara. Is it time to go all ready? What's wrong?" When he saw the look of sadness on her face he was instantly worried. He held out his arms and Clara ran into them and cried on his chest. He petted her head with one hand while he wrapped the other one tightly around her back. She must have sobbed on him for 15 minutes before she was just sniffling.

Clara stammered, "Danny's dead, Pepper. He was hit by a car crossing the street yesterday."

Malcolm was at a loss for words. He said, "Ye know I never really liked him but I am sorry ye lost a close friend. I'll help ye with anything you need. Just tell me what ye need."

Clara clutched his gray jumper and whispered, "I need to go to my apartment."

Malcolm rested his chin on her head and replied, "All right. I'll take ye home." He felt his heart break in to but he left it be because he knew she was grieving and probably needed to be alone for a while. He took her back to her apartment and got her inside. He made her something to eat and a cup of tea. He had a couple cigarettes on the balcony and when he came back in Clara was asleep in her bed. He leaned over and lightly kissed her forehead before covering her over with the quilt. He then locked up on his way out and drove home. He had a tumbler of whiskey before he laid on the couch and watched TV. He didn't realize how lonely he had been living alone until Clara started staying with him at night. He got up and took his pills and got another glass of scotch. Before he knew it he had finished the bottle and was pretty drunk again. He didn't really care if it mixed with his pills or not because he was lonely and depressed. He loved Clara and if she needed to be alone then he would give her time alone but he would suffer from the separation. He would always do whatever she wanted even if it killed him. She knew where he was if she needed him. He eventually went to bed but couldn't sleep. 

Clara woke up and looked at the clock to find it was 2 in the morning. She went through the apartment in search of Malcolm but he wasn't anywhere to be found. She checked the front door and found he had locked it so he must have left and didn't plan on coming back because he doesn't have the key to her apartment. She would fix that as soon as she could find him. She picked up her phone and sent him a text, "Pepper? Where are you? Why did you leave?"

Malcolm heard his phone ding and had to put his glasses on to even make any sense of the message. He replied, "You wanted to go home so I took you there. You didn't ask me to stay so I figured you needed to be alone. I'm at home."

Clara replied, "I needed you to stay. I thought you knew this. Come back?"

Malcolm answered, "Not a good idea. I'll see you tomorrow."

Clara asked, "Why can't you come back over?"

Malcolm replied, "I'm drunk. Can't drive. I'd come back if I could. Don't think you need to lose two friends."

Clara said, "You idiot! You're not just me friend. You my best friend. You are also the love of my life. I think we need to have another talk, Pepper. I wanted you to hold me and make me feel safe and loved tonight."

Malcolm was crying when he typed, "I'm sorry, Clara. I'm not very good at this shit. I'm the fucking needy one. I would have stayed if you had asked me too but I fucking suck at reading minds. I'm a fucking idiot at relationships."

Clara replied, "good night. I guess."

Malcolm replied, "You are always welcome here. You have a key." He put his phone and glasses back on the night stand before he closed his eyes. He must have fallen asleep because he felt movement on the bed and rolled onto his back to see a slightly blurry Clara. He wiped away the tears on one cheek before gently taking her hand and pulling her down on his chest. He slurred, "I'm sorry, Mo ionmhuinn. I'm an old idiot."

Clara had gotten in a taxi not caring that she was wearing he pajamas under her jacket and went to Malcolm's place. She had put his house key on her key ring so she wouldn't lose it. She got there and unlocked the door and walked inside relocking behind her. She went up to his bedroom thinking he might be there. She started to cry when she saw him on the bed safe and sound. She took her jacket of and sat on the bed next to him. He rolled over and she was relieved when he pulled her to him. She settled down on top of Malcolm's chest with her head over his head and cried. She whispered, "I'm sorry too, Pepper but don't ever leave again unless I tell you too. Understand?"

Malcolm slurred, "Aye, ma'am." After about a half hour he started to cough and had to roll over to his side to dislodge the phlegm so he could breathe again. He felt Clara holding the hand he had against his chest and rubbing a hand up and down his back to comfort him. He was glad his smoker's cough didn't usually get this bad but every now and then it gave him a really hard time. He eventually managed to breathe again even though he was wheezing a bit.

Clara was worried but forced herself to stay calm until he was finally breathing again without choking even though he was still wheezing. When he didn't talk after a while she asked, "Pepper? Malcolm? Are you all right?"

Malcolm was half asleep again when he heard the scared note in Clara's voice. He grumbled, "Com're. Cuddle. Sleep. Tired." He felt her lay back down and he wrapped his arm around her. He felt her kiss his cheek before she put her head right next to his on his pillow. She tucked her body as close to his as she could with them both laying on their sides facing each other. He fell asleep with Clara's hand resting over his heart between them. He slurred, "I do love you, Clara." He only realized as an afterthought he said it but at least she heard him say it once. He could only say things like that when he was drunk and his guard was down.

Clara started to cry again when she heard him actually say he loved her. Even if he never said it again he had said it to her and she was happy. She cared the hand that wasn't resting over his heart through his curly hair and said, "I know. I love you too, Pepper." She soon joined him in sleep.


	17. The Funeral

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clara and Malcolm go to Danny's funeral

A few days later Clara was in a black dress and getting ready to go to Danny's Funeral. She looked at Malcolm who was dressed in a charcoal gray Armani suit with a light gray dress shirt and a gray tie. She noticed that he had a little swell of a rounded belly that started from just below his ribcage to end sticking out a few inches over his belt and smiled. When he wears his tunics it's not noticeable and he still looks stick thin but when he wears something that he can't really hide it under you notice it. Now when he noticed her looking at his belly he buttoned his suit jacket and she knew he was trying to hide it by always wearing a tunic. She couldn't understand why he seemed to be trying to hide it from her as well. He looked so out of place in it especially being in her apartment. It was the closest he had to black in his closet. She said, "So I take it this is what you looked like when you worked at Number 10?"

Malcolm looked up and replied, "Aye. The only difference is my hair was brown and was basically close to a crew cut. I have a picture around her somewhere.....ah here it is." He handed Clara a picture he found in his wallet from when he was in his late 40's. It was a picture of him with his niece and nephew. He hadn't planned on going to Danny's funeral because he didn't really think he had the right too because he was not his friend but Clara begged him to go to be there for her so he finally agreed. He knew she had him wrapped around her pinky all ready. He fucking go to hell for her if she fucking asked him too. She was his master as far as he was concerned and he'd do whatever she asked or told him to do even if he didn't agree with it. Anyone else though he'd tell them to fuck the fuck off.

Clara looked at the picture and said, "You look handsome if a bit too thin but the hair cut? I don't like it." She handed it back to him and pulled him down and kissed his cheek. She unbuttoned his suit jacket and then wrapped her arms around his middle under his suit jacket. She rested her head against his chest listening to his heartbeat. She felt his arms wrap around her and his hands rested on her hips.

Malcolm replied, "Neither did I hence the longer hair. I have a....nervous habit...of combing my fingers through my hair. I kept my hair short as fuck back then so that I couldn't mess it up like I do now. I was part of the fucking government not some fucking school caretaker. It doesn't fucking matter what I look like anymore and I'm fucking happy with that." 

Clara placed one of her hands on his soft belly and asked, "Why did you button your jacket when I was looking at you?"

Malcolm sighed, "I'm not a pretty young man anymore and now I'm not even thin anymore. I..."

Clara said, "I have never had any interest in thin pretty young men! Do you seriously think I would be with you if I did? No I prefer mature older men with a little meat on their bones. Believe it or not I prefer to have something to grab onto and touch that isn't bone. I like you better with your little belly. You look healthier and less haggard. Besides I finally have something to pinch on you." She then proceeded to gently pinch all over his belly and love handles while he was trying to jerk away but she wasn't having any of it. She said, "I love you and you don't need to hide your belly from me. I think you are handsome and make a wonderfully squishy pillow. I find you adorable and sexy just the way you are. Do you understand?"

Malcolm finally wheezed, "All right. All right. I got it. Ye win, my Clara." He was relieved when she stopped pinching every inch of fat he had on his belly and sides. He was laughing so hard he started coughing and wheezing. He felt Clara give his belly a light tap with her palm before she let go of him and went to finish her makeup. She had surprised him yet again by liking his now roundish belly. 

Clara finished putting on her makeup and the drove to the funeral. It was a rather unwelcoming affair because most of the teachers from Coal hill were there. When they saw her they were confused but when they saw Malcolm many of them shot daggers at him. Through the whole service she stood against Malcolm.

Malcolm had seen the nasty looks he received and heard the whispers as he passed by people but he ignored it because Clara needed him and he wasn't going to let these bastards keep him from being there for Clara. He felt her press as close to him as she could and wrapped his arm around her waist. He pulled her closer letting her rest her head against his chest. He felt one of her arms resting on his hip opposite her after she slipped it under his coat and suit jacket which he didn't even bother to re-button before leaving the apartment. Her other hand rested on the swell of his belly just below his ribcage clutching at his shirt under his tie. He lightly kissed the top of her head and placed his other hand on the opposite side of her head. He felt her shaking while she cried. It was a military funeral and when the caretaker's were shoveling the dirt on top of the coffin everyone started breaking up. Clara introduced him to Danny's family and he gave them his condolences. He didn't like the man but he didn't really hate him either. He never understood Danny's friendship with Clara because he looked at it that really Clara should have been with Danny instead of him. He was happy that he was the man that won Clara's heart but he still felt a bit guilty about it because of the big age difference. Someday he knew it would be him Clara was planting in the ground and she wouldn't have anyone to comfort her like he is now. He suddenly realized why he hated funerals. It reminded him that he was just waiting for the grim reaper to decide it was his turn to be 6 feet under. 

Clara talked to a few of the other people there and kept an eye on Malcolm to make sure he was not being bothered by anyone. She saw him standing off to the side and it looked like he was getting crosser by the minute. She was hoping it wasn't with her but it was obvious he was brooding about something. She finally decided to leave and took Malcolm's hand and touched his cheek with her fingers. She said, "Let's go home, Pepper."

Malcolm replied, "Yeah. ok. Mine or yours?"

Clara said, "I need to change out of this dress but then if you want we can go to your place."

Malcolm shrugged and drove back to Clara's apartment. He was standing out on the balcony smoking when he heard Clara knock on the glass to get his attention. He waved to acknowledge she wanted him to come back inside. He finished his cigarette and brushed it out in the ashtray before going in again. Clara had changed into a more casual pair of jeans and a blouse. 

Clara asked, "Are you all right? I can tell something's bothering you. You've been cross looking since the funeral. Did I do something wrong?"

Malcolm stripped out of his wool jacket and unbuttoned his suit jacket before flopping on the sofa. He could tell Clara was unsure if she was welcome so he held out his hand and gently pulled her down next to him when she took his hand. He left her rest her head on his shoulder and entwined their fingers of their joined hands on his belly. He sighed, "No, my Clara. Ye didn't do anything wrong. I was just reminded that I'm a fucking old man and that someday you'll be standing there alone while ye fucking plant me in the fucking ground. Ye just deserve better than an old man who's going to fucking croak on ye just about the time you fucking reach my fucking age now. I'm sorry. I know ye don't need to deal with my fucking bullshit tonight. I need a fucking drink. Maybe I should just go home before I depress ye anymore. " He went to get up and he was pinned to the couch by Clara. 

Clara said, "You are staying with me regardless of whether it at your place or mine. If you want to go back you're place that fine but I'm going with you. I'm not going to leave you when you are like this, Pepper. You obviously need me as much as I need you right now. Did you bring your pills?"

Malcolm sighed, "I brought the ones for tonight but I don't have tomorrow morning's pills." 

Clara said, "That's all right. We can run over in the morning. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and we have to go to Christmas dinner at dad's house. "

Malcolm sighed, "All right. If ye wouldn't mind I'd like ye to wear the pink dress to dinner. I bought ye something that will go with it beautifully that I want to give ye before we go there. I'd like ye to wear it with that dress."  
Clara said, "OK .What time do you usually take you pills?"

Malcolm sighed, "Usually around 10. We can watch a movie or something until then if you want." They watched a movie and when it was over Clara got him a cup of tea and he took his pills. They both changed into pajamas and curled up in each others arms and fell asleep.


	18. Special Presents for Special People

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Malcolm and Clara exchange a gift early before going to her father's house.

The next morning Clara woke up first and decided to let Malcolm sleep because he needed the rest. She took her shower and put on the pink dress that Malcolm bought her. She came out of the bathroom to him sitting on her makeup bench staring in the mirror looking rather lost. She gently ruffled his hair before leaning down and wrapping her arms around his neck. She asked, "You feeling all right, Pepper?" 

Malcolm had woken up to an empty spot next to him and got up. He was walking past Clara's dressing table and felt dizzy so he sat on the bench. When Clara saw him and asked if he was all right he sighed, "I'm just a bit dizzy. Had it a few times before. Probably just my blood pressure. Just need my pills." He was late taking them and he still had a while to wait until Clara was ready to leave. He slowly made his way to the bathroom with his clothes from yesterday. He really should bring a box of his pills and some clothes here but he did want to assume he could just leave stuff here. When he was washed and dressed in yesterday's suit he found Clara in her room doing her makeup. He put on his wool jacket and went out on the balcony for a cigarette. He let Clara drive because he really didn't feel too well. 

Clara could tell Malcolm wasn't feeling well. His usual pale face was even paler and he looked like he might want to throw up. She was really hoping it was just because his pills were late. Clara said, "If this keeps up you need to see the doctor. No I'm not arguing with you about this. This is about your health. I will not lose you because you are too stubborn to see a bloody doctor! You will do as you are told even if I have to drag you there myself!"

Malcolm sighed, "Yes, ma'am." She threatened to take him to the doctor and oh she would too.

Clara added, "You are also going to bring some of your medication and clothes to my apartment and keep them there so you have something to wear other than the clothes on your back. Why the hell haven't you done it all ready anyway?"  
Malcolm groaned, "I didn't want to fucking assume just because I fucking let ye leave stuff at my place that I could fucking do the same at yours. Some people are very territorial and don't like sharing space with someone. I just didn't want to piss ye the fuck off over a stupid thing like that."

Clara sighed, "Well we are going to fix that." She reached over and grasped the shaky hand on his knee and entwined their fingers. When they got to his place she pulled up to the curb outside his house. She unlocked the door and got him inside before sitting him down on the sofa in the living room. She asked, "Where do you keep your pills, Pepper?"

Malcolm didn't really want to tell her yet but he just felt like if he moved he's just fall over. He said, "Top left hand drawer under the kitchen counter." He noticed she just brought the whole box and a glass of water. He took the box and popped open the AM section dumping them in his hand before throwing the in his mouth and swallowing them with the glass of water. He said, "Thank you, Clara."

Clara was surprised Malcolm took about half a dozen pills in the morning but she was realizing that the more he trusted the more he showed her who he really was instead of the man he shows the public. He apparently wasn't a well man even though he was very good at hiding it behind a veil of faked bravado and disdain. She loved him and would take care of him until he died. She curled up against his side and put her head on his shoulder when she felt his arm go around her shoulders. She asked, "Do you always get like this when you miss your pills?"

Malcolm sighed, "No. My blood pressure it's usually high enough to do this when I'm late with a dose but today I have to meet your family and I have a lot of anxiety over that. I'm not exactly a good catch. I'm old, gray, antisocial, have the reputation of a fucking political whore, not in perfect health, smoke, and now I am getting round in the middle."

Clara placed her hand on the swell of his belly and looked him in the eyes. She said, "I don't care about your past, that you are not 100% healthy, have gray hair or have a belly. You're not that old even if you are the same age as my dad. As for the antisocial trait I understand why you are like that. Nobody's perfect, Pepper, but you have your good points too. You love me, treat me like I'm the most important thing in the world, spoil me, but the most important thing is that you make me happy."

Malcolm didn't expect to be the same age as her father but realized that he could've had a daughter her age if he had kids. He sighed, "You make me happy too, Mo ionmhuinn." As his medication got into his system he felt the dizziness going away and his hands starting to stop shaking. He ran his hand over her back. He said, "I need to change. Do I need to wear a fucking suit again?"

Clara replied, "No. Unless you want too. What you were to work is fine though." 

Malcolm went and looked through his clothes and eventually settled on a light blue dress shirt with his beige fleece top and a pair of light gray suit pants. He also wore his dress shoes that he wore with his suits. He then got the set of ruby jewelry out of his desk drawer and got Clara to sit on the sofa with him again. He stammered, "I got you this to go with the dress but you can wear it anytime ye like of course. I'm not very good at getting personal presents for someone who's very special but I hope I did all right."

Clara took the box and unwrapped it to find 4 jewelry boxes inside it. She got more surprised as she opened each one to find the ruby butterfly pendant she had wanted as well as a matching ring, earrings, and a bracelet. She now understood why he wanted her to open this today. It did go with the colors of her outfit. 

Malcolm watched Clara's eyes inflate as she opened each one and was afraid that maybe he had messed up again. Finally she set the gifts aside and suddenly wrapped her arms around him and kissed him all over his face before giving him a lingering kiss on the lips. He felt her tongue against his lips and opened his own in reply to her unasked question granting her entrance. Before he knew what was happening it was a battle of tongues and Clara's hands where in his hair and his own were on her back. When they finally had to come up for air he was panting and rubbed lazy circles on her hips with his thumbs. He gasped, "I take it you like them?"

Clara was straddling his lap and carding her hands through his hair. She replied, "No, Pepper. I love them. Thank you they are beautiful. What on earth possessed you to get the whole set though. I know how much they were."

Malcolm blushed and replied, "I figured you may as well have the whole set. I can't do it all the time by I can once and a while. You are special and mean more to me than anything in the world. Besides you put up with a lot of fucking bullshit from me since we met. It's my way of saying thank you for being patient and not giving up on me."

Clara grabbed the boxes and slipping the ring on her right ring finger and slipped the earrings in her ears. She handed him the bracelet and necklace and asked, "Can you help me put them on?" She lifted her hair and felt him catch the clasp of the necklace before putting the bracelet on her wrist. She saw tears sliding down his cheeks and gasped, "Malcolm?"

Malcolm helped her put the jewelry on and when he looked at her again he was in awe of how stunning she was right now. He always thought she was beautiful but right now if he died he could die happy because everything was worth i for her to be happy. He didn't even realized he was crying until he felt Clara rubbing the tears off his cheeks with her thumbs with a worried note in her voice. He whispered, "You are so fucking beautiful, Clara. It's still hard to believe that you want me of all people."

Clara leaned closer and kissed his forehead and said, "I do. We even got the rings to prove it. See?" She lifted his left hand and then her own to remind him of the Sapphire rings they both wore as a commitment to each other. She knew how much it meant to him that she wore this particular ring because they had both spent hours finding two similar rings to represent their relationship. She kind of considered it a pre-engagement ring. It may be the closest thing she ever got to a wedding ring so she would wear it like one.

Malcolm smiled and replied, "Yeah. We do. Thank you for accepting my ring, Clara." He had noticed she only took her ring off when she went to bed but put it on again every morning since he bought the rings. He never took his own off at all out of habit. He had always worn a ring on his left ring finger and felt naked without it so he just never took it off. Also to him these rings were more important than Clara really knew. He considered it an unofficial wedding ring for each of them. He hoped someday he'd get the bollocks to make it official and place a proper wedding ring on her finger.

Clara kissed his forehead and replied, "Why wouldn't I? I love you and chose to be with you."

Malcolm sighed, "I couldn't have blamed you if you wanted to hide our relationship that all. I wouldn't have liked it but I would have accepted it."

Clara asked, "Why would I even want to hide it? You still don't think you're good enough for me do you?" She saw him look down at his lap and knew she was right.

Malcolm whispered, "Yeah. Also the age difference really is a bit embarrassing. Here's a beautiful young woman who picked a man old enough to be her father when she could had any man that she wanted."

Clara firmly replied, "You don't embarrass me. I am not bothered by your age because I love you. I wouldn't have chosen you if I was going to be embarrassed about a stupid thing like that. Like I've told you before I am attracted to older men and I don't care if people don't like it. I will proudly wear your ring and I'm just hoping someday you will understand that."

Malcolm replied, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be depressing ye just because I am depressed. I'm just being a fucking cunt."

Clara had brought the present she wanted to give him early with her. She handed him the present and said, "Open it."

Malcolm unwrapped the small box and found a stainless steel Zippo lighter in it. He didn't understand why a woman that obviously wanted him to stop smoking would by him a good quality lighter until he flipped it over and read the engraving. "I love you, Clara" it was engraved with in cursive. He whispered, "Clara, I.."

Clara smiled and said, "I would like you to stop smoking, Malcolm. That hasn't changed but I know that if you ever do it has to be your choice to stop. So I bought you the lighter to let you know I accept your choice and love you even though I don't agree with that choice. It will also always be a reminder that I love you even when we are not together."

Malcolm croaked, "Thank you." He knew this was her way to say that even though she was worried about him and wanted him to stop smoking she loved him even though he was a stubborn fucking bastard about it. He slip0ped the lighter in his fleece shirt pocket and cleared his throat. He said, "I guess we should get going or we'll be late." She made him pack an overnight bag with his pills and a couple changes of clothes to leave at her place before she let him out the door. He had packed her presents in the car before they left her place so they didn't have to go back there until after dinner. He threw his bag in the car and locked up his house. He then handed Clara the keys and she drove to her father's place.


	19. Christmas with the Oswalds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Malcolm and Clara go to Christmas dinner and Malcolm gives Linda a piece of his mind

Malcolm looked up at the brownstone home as Clara pulled into the driveway. He got out and carried all the bags of gifts following behind Clara as she walked up to the front door. He was surprised when a tall skinny young man in a pinstriped brown suit about Clara's age answered the door. He watch Clara wrap her arms around the man before ruffling his spiky brown hair. The funniest thing about him is he wears chucks with a suit. 

David smiled and wrapped his arms around Clara when he opened the door. He eventually noticed the middle aged man standing behind her a little ways down the stairs and thought he looked familiar but couldn't place why. He held out his hand and said, "David McDougan. I'm kind of Clara's brother in law."

Malcolm handed Clara the bags from one hand and held it out to the younger man and replied, "Malcolm."

David got this excited look on his face and said, "Oh Aye. Of course. Clara's boyfriend. Clara's told me and Matty a lot about you. I hope ye realize how much she adores ye. Please come in. I'll take the bags if ye want. I'll just put them by the tree."

Malcolm handed off the bags and replied, "Thanks." He was glad he wasn't the only Scot here today. He followed Clara into the living room and David was sitting on the couch holding hands with a man maybe a few years older with floppy brown hair and a bowtie and a purple Victorian like jacket complete with matching waistcoat and pocket watch. In s leather chair across from the sofa was a portly middle-aged man who he assumes was Clara's father Dave. Clara grabbed his hand pulled him over and he shook hands with bowtie boy whom he found out was Clara's brother Matthew and also David's husband. Then she introduced him to her father and saw where his Clara got her inflating eyes from as the man looked him up and down. He said, "It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Mr. Oswald. Clara speaks very highly of you. I know this looks...unusual but I assure you I'm not having a midlife crisis." He purposely forced himself to not slip into his thicker brogue. The only one he felt comfortable doing that around was Clara. He let him put the pieces together.

Dave Oswald was shock that the man his little girl was dating was the same age as him. Clara had told him her boyfriend was older than her but he didn't expect a man this much older. He shook the man's hand and replied, "I've heard a lot about you although I will say Clara avoided telling me exactly how much older you are than her but I know you treat her well. Welcome to the family, Malcolm. Your face looks familiar though. Have we met before?"

Malcolm knew it had to be from his face being plastered all over the news last year but he didn't elaborate. He simply said, "No, Mr. Oswald. We haven't met before."

Dave said, "Please, Malcolm. Call me Dave."

Malcolm replied, "All right, Dave." e turned around to see a little old lady that was shorter than Clara ogling him up and down. He blushed at how obvious she was about wanting to eat him up.

Clara's gran came out of the kitchen to find a tall gray hair middle aged man standing in the middle of the living room. She thought he was quite the sexy dish and wonderful eye candy. She held her hand out and said, "Who is this handsome young man?"

Clara said, "Gran this is Malcolm. My boyfriend." She sighed in exasperation because gran was always eyeing everyone up but she apparently really liked Malcolm and poor Malcolm was obviously uncomfortable with the scrutiny. 

Gran smiled and replied, "Shame he's taken. If you ever find yourself unattached...I'm always available."

Clara groaned, "You did not just flirt with my boyfriend. Behave gran. Your making him uncomfortable."

Malcolm leaned down an whispered, "I'm going to go have a cigarette, ok?" When she nodded he put his coat back on and ran out the door. He was on his second cigarette when the door opened behind him. He looked to see David. He went back to his cigarette and waited for the younger man to say something.

David figured after about 15 minutes someone should check on Malcolm because Clara had been drug into the kitchen to help with dinner. He was a little surprised to find the old man smoked but didn't' say anything about it. He finally said, "You get used to Gran's flirting. It is a bit unnerving at first though. She's lonely and has no problem hitting on every boy friend Clara and Matty have ever had. I just decided to take it as a compliment. The worse Gran does is if she really has the hots for you she'll pinch your bum."

Malcolm sighed, "Fucking wonderful. Just what I fucking need. Having to fight off my fucking girlfriend's fucking over flirty grandmother. Fucking fuck me."

David was shocked by how many times the older man used fucking in that short conversation. It suddenly hit him. He said, "Oooo. You're Malcolm Tucker! The one they call Iago with a blackberry. Clara told us ye are the caretaker at Coal Hill."  
Malcolm lit another cigarette and growled, "I am. That's the only fucking job I could find after my reputation was fucking destroyed in politics and by the media. You going to take a pot shot at me?"

David yelped, "No. Of course not. I was just trying to figure out who ye were. I don't have anything against ye. If Clara loves ye than ye must be worth the time. I don't trust everything that papers say anyways."

While Malcolm was out with David Clara was dealing with Linda asking her 20 questions. She made sure the bitch knew he boyfriend bought he the ruby butterflies for Christmas. She made it a point to tell Linda her and Malcolm both had commitment type of ring. When she was finally released from the kitchen she found Malcolm sitting in the rocker and loved the surprised look on his face when she sat in his lap. She felt one of his arms go around her as she got comfortable with her legs across his lap. She felt him hesitantly place his other hand on her thigh farthest from him to help support her from sliding off his lap. He looked up when she felt his arms tighten around her and heard the nasty comment Linda was making.

Linda saw the Man Clara was with and knew who he was immediately. She yelled, "How dare you come here. What did you do to get Clara to get involved with her? You foul mouthed tosser! Oh wait that's not your way is it, Malcolm Tucker. Or did you find something to blackmail Clara with to get into her bed? And Clara, I knew you were a whore but really did you have to sleep with....him?"

Malcolm let her rant on and on about him but when the bitch started badmouthing Clara that was the last straw. He coldly said, "Clara, I am very sorry but I'm not going to let her treat you like this anymore. Please get off my lap so I can stand up." He backed Linda up against the wall and hissed, "You don't ever call my Clara a fucking whore again. You are a fucking bitch cunt who treats Clara like she is fucking beneath you. You know what, Linda? You are beneath Clara. Clara is a very loving caring soul. I didn't chase after her. She chased after me and you know what? I don't fucking know why really but I am fucking proud to say she is mine. If you fucking ever call her any nasty names or are mean to her again I will flay your skin off and sell it as a rug you fucking twofaced CUNT!" He backed away and let her slide down the wall in fright. He said, "I apologize to everyone else but she had it coming. I don't care who it is that says something bad about my Clara I will rip them apart. If you want me to leave..." He got his coat and went out for another cigarette while he waited for someone to tell him to leave. He shouldn't have gave Linda that bollocking but she had no right to say that fucking shit about Clara. The fucking bitch wasn't even Clara mother for fuck sake. He was on his 6th cigarette of the day when the door opened. He shook his head that they sent bowtie boy. He sighed, "Well?"

Matty had to admire Malcolm for having the bollocks to rip Linda apart over Clara. He'd had his fair share of verbal abuse from he as well. They took a vote and the only one who wanted him to leave was Linda. Their father was outnumbered and couldn't send Malcolm away no matter how pissed off Linda was at him. He said, "You're staying. Linda's uh..."

Malcolm said, "Bit pissed off?"

Matty smiled and replied, "yeah. Extremely actually. Dad couldn't side with her because he was out numbered and he knew she shouldn't have did that in the first place. I wanted to thank you for telling her off. I've had my share of verbal abuse from her especially when I admitted to being gay and brought David here. He's a wonderful boyfriend. Clara I'm afraid got the balls out of the two of us but she wouldn't even stand up to Linda. Someone had to put her in her place. I do know who you are and what you were accused of but I want you to know that anyone who stands up for someone they love is ok in my book. You can't be as bad as you were made out to be by the press. I'd like to be your friend if that's all right."

Malcolm sighed, "I...don't trust easily, Matthew. It took Clara almost 3 months to worm her way past my walls and that was because defended me even though she was fucking ostracized for it. She puts up with a lot of fucking shit for choosing to love me. She deserved to at least know who the fuck I really am when I'm not Iago with a fucking blackberry. When I was at Downing Street I was every bit as bad as they say when the accused me of being akin to a velociraptor. The man I hide behind that image is completely the opposite. I'm sure Clara has told you about me."

Matthew said, "Yeah. She told us about you and your true personality. She told us how you adore her and treat her like the most wonderful thing in the world. How you buy her random gifts when you go out if you see something that she'd possibly like or that reminds you of her. How under all the bluster you really are a cuddly teddy bear. How insecure you are about Clara staying with you. I promise you that Clara is more devoted to you than she is anything else in the world. She adores you and can't picture her life without you now. I also heard that you tend to be a stubborn fool about certain things until she orders you to do them. Yes I understand the level of trust it takes to let someone control your life so completely and that it takes a very special person to be able to relinquish that control to them. I look at you and Clara together and I can see how much you love each other. She is the center of your universe and you are hers. You two may look like an odd couple to some but I think you are adorable together. I just want you to know if you need a friend eve3n just to talk to then me and David are always available."

Malcolm replied, "Thanks, Matthew. I'll keep that in mind." He brushed out his cigarette and followed Matthew inside again. They eventually had dinner and Linda glared at him all evening. He had to smirk because if looks could kill he'd probably be fucking dead. When they did the presents he was surprised Matthew and David got him a gift. It was a gold pocket watch with "welcome to the family, MO & DM" engraved inside the lid. He said, "I..don't know how to thank you. This is a very thoughtful gift."

David cheerfully said, "You're welcome. We weren't sure what to get ye but figured if nothing else that would be a good keepsake. Clara loves ye so we do too. If ye ever need anything just give us a ring. Numbers are in the box."

Malcolm found them and added them to his phone as bowtie boy and sandshoes based on their most notable article of clothing. That he would remember who they were even if he didn't remember their names. He still had Jamie listed in his phone under Scottish Rottweiler and Anne his sister as loved toothache because she was a very sweet person but sometimes it made his teeth hurt. Clara was in his phone as beloved owl lover because she loved him and had told him multiple times that many of his looks make him look like an owl. He was glad he didn't have Linda's number because she'd be under twofaced cunt. Her gran would probably be ass pinch flirt. He liked Clara's gran but when the little old lady pinched his fucking ass every time he was near her his patience was wearing just a bit thin with the woman. Even David joked that apparently gran really was hot and bothered with him. He was baffled as to why all of a sudden two women had the hots for him. He never considered himself all that attractive and it was bit disconcerting. Hell both David and Matthew even admitted to finding him sexy and desirable. They got into an argument over his most attractive feature with each other. He was flabbergasted that a perfectly happy gay couple were arguing over what part of him was the attractive. He was relieved when Clara decided to go home.

Clara felt bad for Malcolm being so embarrassed at being the center of attention by gran and then Matty and David arguing over how attractive various attributes of his body were. She finally took pity on him and said, "I think we're going to go home. We'll see you all later." She gave everyone a hug and then watch as Malcolm got sort of molested/hugged by gran and then hugged by Matty and David. She found it endearing that he was still awkward with touching anyone but her.

Malcolm again let Clara drive and choose where they were going. They wound up at Clara's place and he was glad he had packed her other Christmas gifts in his bag. He followed Clara up and flopped on her sofa and sighed. 

Clara asked, "Would you like a glass of wine, Pepper?" 

Malcolm said, "Yeah. That might be nice. Thank ye." He put his head back against the couch and closed his eyes until he felt a hand on his shoulder and took the proffered glass of wine. He wrapped his free arm around Clara's shoulders when she sat on the sofa and leaned against him. He let her pick a movie to watch and was content just to hold her. 

After the movie was over Clara went in Malcolm's bag and found his pill box and got him a glass of water at 10pm when his pills were due. She was glad he took them without a word and drank the whole glass of water. She gently ruffled his hair before taking that and their empty wine glasses to the sink and washing them. She saw him get up and put his coat on and knew he was going out for a cigarette. She went to her room and changed into a sleeveless nightgown that went to her mid thigh. It was pink satin and she hoped that Malcolm noticed. She went to the bathroom and washed her face to get all the makeup off. When she came back to her room Malcolm had changed into his regular black holey jumper and black fleece pajama pants that he slept in. She cleaned out a drawer in the dresser for him to put his things in. He insisted it be the bottom one so it didn't disrupt her normal order that she had everything on the upper drawers. He had been finishing putting his clothes away in the drawer. 

Malcolm had just finished putting his things in the drawer Clara gave him to use and looked up to see Clara in a very short sleeveless nightgown. It left very little to the imagination and he mentally slapped himself to stop thinking about it before he needed to stick ice down his fucking pants. He slipped into bed on his side of the bed and was so tired he couldn't stay awake. He fell asleep while Clara was talking to him. 

Clara was going to seduce him but he was out like a light almost as soon as his head hit the pillow. She was frustrated that the one night his damn sleeping pill kicks in properly was the night she wanted him to make love to her. She sighed, "Well. There's always tomorrow." She settled down with her head pillowed on his shoulder and her palm resting on the swell of his belly. She also decided to be possessive and settled her leg between his legs. She felt his arm go around her shoulders in his sleep. She eventually joined him in sleep plotting how she was going to seduce him in the morning.


	20. Make Love to me All Ready

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well basically smut, silliness and sweetness.

Malcolm woke up around 6 in the morning so he quietly slipped out of bed and took his pills with a cup of tea and tried to find something to make for breakfast. He eventually decided to make a western omelet. He put it on plate putting them both on a tray with two fresh cups of tea. He carefully walked to the bedroom to surprise Clara with breakfast in bed. It was Christmas day after all and he was in the mood to take care of her instead of her having to take care of him. He said, "Morning, Mo ionmhuinn. Merry Christmas. I made ye breakfast."

Clara groaned and sat up. She moved so he could set the tray down and had to admit it smelled wonderful. She tried and said, "This is wonderful, Pepper. Thank you. How's your bum?" They ate in silence and she noticed he seemed to actually be hungry today which was a good sign. Even though he ate more at dinner the night before than he usually did he still didn't eat a lot nor did he seem to enjoy it but right now he seemed to be enjoying what he was eating. She liked seeing him happy because it happened so rarely it was a precious gift. 

Malcolm blushed and replied, "Bit sore but could be worse. Your gran is a real pain in the fucking ass." He watch Clara fall over laughing hysterically at his joke. When breakfast was finished he took the tray out and washed the dishes. He put them away and then went back to the bedroom and laid down on the bed again when Clara held out her hand. 

Clara blurted, "I'm starting to wonder if you even attracted to me, Malcolm." She saw the owl face of shock when he looked at her and thought for a minute that maybe she shouldn't have asked. 

Malcolm never expected Clara to ask that question especially with how often he told her she was beautiful. He caressed her cheek with his knuckled and asked, "Why the fuck would you say that? I always tell you I think you are beautiful."

Clara sighed, "Because in the 3 months we have been together you haven't tried to make love to me even once. If there is a reason why I can understand but I'd like to know."

Malcolm honestly replied, "I am very attracted to ye. At times ye have me acting like a fucking horny teenager. This relationship means everything in the world to me and I wanted to do the proper thing and court ye first. I'd rather wait for sex than to lose ye because I got in ye fucking pants to soon. I'm serious about us and am trying to prove it by being the gentleman. I figured when ye were ready ye would ask or something. Ye are the one in control of this relationship. I handed that over to ye the day we got these rings. I will not ask for or initiate anything because I gave that control to ye. The sexual aspect of our relationship is up to ye. I only initiate hugs, hand holding and other platonic affection because I know ye want me to not that I don't like it myself. "

Clara asked, "Do you even want sex?"

Malcolm sighed, "Aye. I want it but I will not initiate it. I will only get it when ye want it. I will not force ye to have sex if ye don't want too. I'm grateful for whatever bone ye throw me. I will not pressure you in to having sex with me just because I have an itch that I want scratched. I also will not ever seek it anywhere else while we are together. I do not ever cheat on my mate."

Clara sighed, "So the only way we going to have a sex life is if I approach you every bloody time? You won't approach me if you want it?"

Malcolm smiled and replied, "Aye. right. You have complete control over my dick as well as my life. You can ask outright, seduce me, order me, or just start it. Doesn't matter how as long you are sure you want it. The one rule is that if ye start it, ye can't stop it because I'm waiting until ye want sex. Okay?"

Clara sighed, "Deal. Well I want you to make love to me right now."

Malcolm chuckled, "OK. Ye the boss." He turned on his side and leaned on his elbow while he cupped the back of Clara's neck with his free hand and gently pulled her to him until their lips met. When he felt Clara start pushing him onto his back he let her. She was in charge so she could do whatever she wanted with him. He felt her kissing his face, neck and collar bones. and opened his eyes to see her pulling of her night gown. He suddenly realized she was completely naked without even panties on. He felt a thrill go right to his groin. He reached up and rested his hands on her bare hips and said, "My beautiful Clara." 

Clara pulled at his jumper and said, "Clothes off now."

Malcolm got her to move long enough so that he could take of his clothes. He hesitated because he was afraid of her reaction to him without clothes but Clara threatened to rip them off if he didn't hurry up and he was very fond of that holey jumper so he finished stripping and stood completely naked in front of her.

Clara looked at Malcolm's body and for a man of 56 he wasn't in bad shape. His arms and legs were thin and delicate looking. He had gray hair on his upper chest and mid to lower belly with a space skipped between there. She could see his collar bones because he was still too thin there causing a slight sunken look around the bones and muscles. He definitely had a rounded belly that stuck out a few inches from his waist as well as little love handles that she couldn't wait to pinch, kiss and lick. The gray hair on his groin was as thick as the hair on his head. Then she came to his penis that was about 8 inches long and 4 inches thick limp as it currently is now and she wondered how much bigger he was going to get when he was erect. She looked at his face and noticed his eyes were closed and he was scared. She wondered why and then it hit her. He was afraid of her rejecting him. She reached out and clasped his hand pulling him back on the bed. She kissed him and after a minute he responded and gently pushed her back on the bed so he was above her.

Malcolm was so relieved when she didn't reject him and gently pushed back on the bed and started kissing, licking and sucking a trail down her body. He made note of what excited her the most as he went. He sucked and lightly nipped her nipples noticing she really liked that but kept going down. He peppered kisses on her belly and thighs before going back up to her nipples while he slipped two fingers inside of her while he rubbed her clit with his thumb. He felt her hands pulling at his hair. Her grip on his hair got tighter as she got closer to her orgasm. He felt her go stiff as she yelled his nickname. He made her come 2 more times before she demanded she wanted him inside of her. He was hard as a rock but he was determined to wait as long as he had too.

Clara welled, "I want you inside me now, Pepper." She pulled him between her legs and felt him at her entrance. When he entered her she realized he was bigger than her vagina and had to adjust to his size. She nodded at him when she was ready and he kept going until he was fully inside her and she had adjusted enough for him to move. She groaned when he got the right angle to hit her g-spot and when she came this time she saw stars.

Malcolm had been worried that she might be too tight and he was right. He forced himself to go slow because he didn't want to hurt her if he could help it. When she was loose enough and she nodded at him he started a slow rhythm but when he found her g-spot by dumb luck she wanted him to go faster so he did and he felt her tighten around him with her orgasm. A few more thrusts and he fell over the edge emptying inside her. He collapsed on top of her with his head pillowed on her breast. He was going to move but her legs were wrapped around him tightly keeping them connected until he slipped out of her when he softened. He felt her move her legs so he could roll off her. He rolled onto his back and felt her curl up with her head on his shoulder. He was still panting but wasn't worried about it because it had been a very long time since he had sex and he wasn't exactly young anymore. Course he knew the COPD didn't help either.

Clara was drawing random patterns on Malcolm's belly with her finger and said, "You are quite the stud. That was the best sex I've ever had. I have to agree that older men are more fun in bed."

Malcolm chuckled, "Thanks but I'm no stud, Clara. I just have some experience in pleasuring women. I'm not self fucking bastard like a lot of men are. Even when I used to pay for sex I still wanted the woman I was with to enjoy it too. One time I was told I was the only customer that fucking cared if the girls got off as well. That's why they didn't mind keeping their mouths shut about me paying them for sex. I was the only fucker in politics that didn't get caught paying for sex."

Clara asked, "Why are you telling me all of this?"

Malcolm shrugged, "No more secrets. I'm not proud of having to pay for sex but I'm not ashamed either. It was something I felt I had to do at the time. I was always careful and didn't do it very often. Most of the time I just went home, had a wank and a scotch. Then I usually wound up going back to work. I used to be awake for 3-4 days at time living on Red Bull, coffee, cigarettes and curry. So if you wonder why I have insomnia that's what started it."

Clara said, "I think this is the best thing to do on Christmas day. Snuggling in bed and having sex with you."

Malcolm sighed, "It's going to be quite a while before I can get up again for ye."

Clara kissed his nipple and replied, "That's all right. You are worth waiting for, stud muffin."

Malcolm groaned, "Jesus Christ. Ye did not just fucking call me that. If you fucking call me that gain I'll...."

Clara laughed, "Stud muffin. Stud muffin. Stud muffin. Stuuuuud Muffin!"

Malcolm growled, "Aye. That's it. Ye asked for it." He rolled them over so he was on top of her and tickled the hell out of her. He watched her wiggle and giggle below him and didn't stop until she finally agreed to stop calling him that cliché. He collapsed back on the bed and both of them were panting. He started laughing because they were acting two giddy school children. 

Clara curled back up on his shoulder and felt his hand playing with her hair. She played with the hair on his chest until he stopped her by entwining his fingers with hers and rested their clasped hand on his belly. She said, "Merry Christmas, Pepper."  
Malcolm replied, "Merry Christmas, my Clara." He felt her reach down and pull the covers over them before he nodded off. He woke up again a couple hours later to cold empty bed and thought he had fucked up until Clara came in the room carrying a tray with tea and sandwiches. She was still naked and sashayed her hips seductively. He knew what she was trying to do and he wished he had the energy to take her again.

Clara smiled and teased, "Hey, sleepy head. It's time for lunch. You're going to need the energy later tonight."

Malcolm teased back, "Is that a threat or a promise?"

Clara laughed , "Both."

Malcolm replied, "I'm sure it will be worth waiting for, Mo ionmhuinn." He watched her get off the bed and come back with 2 brightly wrapped presents. She handed them to him and he opened the smaller one and found a gold owl pendant. He chuckled at the look on the owl's face. It was his normal shocked look. Then he opened the bigger one and there was an owl with a brown jacket and holding a broom like he had work. He asked, "How in the fuck did you find this? It's fucking me! Thanks. I'll have to find a proper place to display him when I get home. Can you put the necklace on me? I'm not one for necklaces but I know why you got it and I'd like to wear it for ye." He watched her get on her knees to get the clasp at the back of his neck. He could tell it would take some getting used to wearing but it was worth it for Clara.

Clara smiled and replied, "It looks nice on you. You don't have to wear it if you don't want to though. It just reminded me of you so much because of the look I saw on your face so much the last 3 months." The chain the made it so the owl rested right below his collar bone where is was flatter. 

Malcolm replied, "No. I want ta wear it if I can get used to it. I'll just wear under my clothes but I don't intend to take it off unless I can't stand it." He got off the bed and rummaged through his bag until he found the two other gifts he bought Clara. He handed them to her and sat on the bed with her.

Clara said, "You didn't need to get me anything else. The butterfly set was more than enough." She saw the pleading look on his face and opened the small box first. In it was a locket that had a rose gold and silver filigree butterfly on it. She turn it over and her eyes watered at the inscription " Mo ionmhuinn, Clara Love Malcolm." He had taken the butterflies off the night before and had Malcolm put this one on. She was pretty sure this would be one she wore all the time. She asked, "Do you have any good pictures of you that I can put in my locket? We need to get a picture of us together as well." She opened the other box and laughed because it was a calico cat teacher with a blackboard, desk, and books. She chuckled when she realized they could be the name of a children's book "The Owl and the Cat" or as Malcolm would probably say "The Hooter and the Pussy" and that was very amusing to her right now. She placed it on her dressing table for the time being and crawled back into bed with Malcolm. They watched TV and cuddled on the sofa with nothing but their robes on. 

Malcolm didn't bother going out for a cigarette all day and just held Clara in his arms whether they were on the sofa or in bed. He made them dinner and watched a movie with Clara until his pills were due. He took his night meds and Clara drug him back into the bedroom. He knew what she wanted because she had one hand rubbing his groin and the other lightly clutching his ass while her tongue was attempting to go down his throat. He smiled when he made her come 4 more times before he let himself come as well. He was almost asleep when he mumbled, "I'm sorry. I'm falling asleep on ye. Lunesta's kicking in. Thank ye for a wonderful day, Clara. Night." He kissed the side of her head and felt her kiss his chest and pull the quilt up to cover their naked bodies.

Clara smiled, "Night, stud muffin."


	21. Jamie Fucking McDonald

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie ruins Malcolm's day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay....  
> It's a little longer than normal because I didn't think splitting it up would make sense.  
> I'm usually a m/m Slash writer so when I came with this idea it just had to play out. I remembered Malcolm's joke on his birthday about anal beads and well.....So I ran with that thought. Possible Anal play in future between Malcolm and Clara. Also bantering :)  
> This chapter is quite different from the rest. There is a bit of smut in the beginning so you'll probably like that.  
> After that it goes into discussing Malcolm/Jamie past relationship. There isn't anything graphic in Male on male action so slashers will be a bit disappointed and f/m followers with probably be relieved lol Also brief mention of Clara/ female named Nina   
> Don't worry Jamie's not getting Malcolm back. He's completely dedicated to Clara. Not changing anything just throwing in a few random monkey wrenches here and there.  
> Malcolm didn't grieve when Jamie left and now a phone call from him triggers a emotional breakdown.   
> I just started writing and this is what came of it. I know not everyone will like it but here it is anyway.  
> If you don't wish to read any of the above feel free to skip this chapter just don't write me bad remarks if you do read it. Thanks :)

Malcolm woke around 5 in the morning and quietly got out of bed so he didn't disturb Clara. He slipped on his robe and got his pills on the way out of the bedroom to go make a cup of tea. After he took his pills he was laying on the sofa watching TV when Clara came out with nothing on and sat on his lap gently rubbing against his groin. He moved so that she could straddle his hips after she untied his robe. He closed his eyes and sighed as she kissed her way down his body and back up again. He could tell this wasn't frenzied like yesterday. This was intended to drive him slowly and deliberately mad with lust. He found it amazing how she could be shoving her tongue down him throat and her hands where hitting ever arousing spot he had at the same time. He answered her kisses and ran his hands over her back and hips but remained otherwise passive letting her do whatever she desired to him. 

Clara was pleased that he wasn't trying to direct her to what he wanted. He was just letting her control everything. She loved kissing him and running her hands through his hair. She was practically on top of him because of size of the sofa. She found he loved it when she sucked on his pulse point in his neck. She felt it go straight to his groin because he went from semi soft to rock hard when she did that. Also the strangled moan might have been another good clue. She teased, "Like that do you?"

Malcolm moaned, "Ye fucking tease."He heard her laugh and knew she was happy about it. When she went back to sucking on his pulse point his mind turned to mush and he was begging, " Mo ionmhuinn, please." He felt her settle over him and gasped when she enveloped him. When she started riding him his mind went blank and only animalist drive remained. He came sobbing, "Mo ionmhuinn." 

Clara didn't orgasm but she was all right with that for now because this time was all about taking care of Malcolm and reminding him she loved and desired him. She settled down on his chest while she listened to his frantic heart slow down. She peppered his chest with light kisses every now and then. She felt his one hand rest on her hip and the other tangling in her hair.

Malcolm sighed, "Ye are going ta kill me someday. I couldn't think of a better way ta die than in your arms." He started thinking again and realized he didn't remember Clara having an orgasm and felt guilty as hell. He should have taken care of her first. He never was good at lasting very long which was why he had to perfect other means of satisfying a woman if he wanted them to orgasm as well. He gently coaxed Clara to the inside of the sofa and into a good position for him to reach her core. He slid his fingers down to tease her clit before slipping inside and rubbing his thumb against her clit while he fucked her with his fingers.

When Clara felt his fingers slip inside of her she gasped, "You don't have to, Pepper."

Malcolm kissed her and replied, "Aye, I do. I was a selfish bastard cunt and I'm not like that. Beside I want to so it for ye. Now let me pleasure you, Mo ionmhuin." After she orgasm 4 times he felt her hand grasp his and he looked at her face. She shook her head and he stopped although he didn't remove his hand until she let go of it. He wiped his hand on his robe so he didn't get anything on the sofa and went back to petting Clara with his other hand. He heard his cell go off and cursed. He looked at it the number and his eyes went wide. He answered, "Malcolm Tucker, I fuck lobsters for money." He smiled at the ranting Scot on the other end of the phone. 

When Malcolm answered the phone she burst out in hysterics. She was finding out that he was a lot of fun under the cool depressed exterior. The way he was talking was funny as hell.

Malcolm replied, "Aye, Jamie. I'm still fucking alive ya wee bastard cocksucker. I thought ye fell in a fucking lake or off a fucking cliff. No. I don't fucking work at number 10. Didn't ye see the fucking news a year ago? I got fucked more times than a 2 twated nymphomaniac hooker. Yeah. I'm not fucking allowed back in fucking politics. Doesn't fucking matter. I can't deal with fucking cunts like Nicola Murray anymore. I'd fucking castrate their bollocks and cunts off and use them as a necklace. Aye, I'm that fucking sick of politics. Who? Oh the fucking hysterical hyena is just my Clara. No she's not a hooker you fucking cunt. What? Ye fucking think I'm fucking incapable of having a girlfriend? Eh fuck the fuck off you fucking cunt. Yes I'm the fucking happiest I've even been in my fucking shitty life. No I'm sorry but not going to happen. I got ye a fucking Christmas present. Aye, I still live in the same fucking house. No. I'm fucking not at home you cock tease. I'm at my Clara's apartment. I'll call ye when I'm fucking back home then. Say hello to the fucking kids, yeah? Fine. Fuckity bye!" He threw the phone on the coffee table and waited until Clara stopped laughing and settled against his shoulder again. He played with her hair and said, "That was Jamie. He was...the only friend I had at Number 10. We were practically joined at the hip until he fucking left and I haven't heard from the wee fucker in about 3 years. I sure as fucking hell didn't expect to hear from him again. He trained as a fucking priest of all things. I found him in a fucking seminary I was doing a piece in the paper for and he followed me. He apparently moved back to Glasgow. He went back to working for the Daily newspaper we bother worked for before getting into politics. Apparently our work wasn't conducive to having a wife and kids. His wife left him and the kids. The fucking bastard could have told me where he went. Eh fuck it."

This was the first time Clara had heard anything about Jamie aside from that they were friends and she had seen a few pictures of the two of them. She could tell Malcolm was very hurt by Jamie leaving without a word. She hesitantly asked, "Were you two...lovers? It's all right if you were."

Malcolm felt tears in the corner of his eyes and closed them. He said, "Aye. We were on and off for many years. When we left the paper and were working in politics we split up. He married and then had his wife and kids to think about and I was married to my fucking job. We....would meet sometimes when I was over stressed. I never really understood that in his own little gobshite way he was fucking taking care of me. He could have just told me to fuck off after he was married but instead he... still was there when I needed him. I never asked but he always gave me what I needed. When I was having a bad week he would show up at my house at night and drag me to the bedroom. I just claimed to be completely straight to keep people from figuring out me and Jamie were more than friends. It was perfect until his fucking wife found out and left him because he was fucking his best friend more than he was fucking her. I guess he was angry with me over it so he didn't bother telling me where he went too. After I lost him I buried myself in my work trying to bury the pain of losing him. I'm sorry. I lied about never being in love before but I couldn't deal with the pain so I ignored that it happened. I didn't expect to fall for him. I didn't think I ever would be able to move on after I lost him. Then I met ye and have never been happier. It still hurts but not as bad as it used too. I need you to understand that I never trusted Jamie like I trust you. I couldn't give up control to him nor could I really be myself with him. Ye are the only person who truly knows me, Clara. Ye have my heart and the ability to destroy it. If ye want me to leave I will. Ye have the right to ask but I give ye my word that part of me and Jamie is over. I made sure he knows that. All that's left is a barely salvaged friendship. Ye are the only person I will ever share a bed with for the rest of my life."

Clara kissed Malcolm lips and replied, "It's sounds like Jamie loved you enough to worry about you. If you were just a fling I doubt he would have still went to bed with you. I'm not bothered by it. I'd be a bit of a hypocrite if I did. When I was younger I had a girlfriend/lover. So it turns out we are both Bisexual which is fine right?"

Malcolm chuckled, "Aye it is."

Clara teased, "Sooo. Lobsters? Anything else I should know about like dogs? Horses? Monkeys? or maybe pigs?" The look of utter confusion was classic until it clicked in his mind what she was referring too.

Malcolm chuckled, "Very funny. I don't even want to imagine the sight of a horse fucking me. The thought of a dog fucking me is disturbing enough for me. Don't even get me started on the thought of slapping the bacon or spanking the monkey."  
Clara laughed, "Ah so you're a bottom then. That's good to know. Gives me a few ideas."

Malcolm groaned, "Yes I am. Maybe I should shut my fucking gob now." He'd always let Jamie take him because he wasn't interested in dominating his partner. He preferred to be the passive one in a relationship which is why he had so hard a time finding the right person. It had to be someone he could trust not to use the power he gave them to fuck him over. That was the one out of character trait that Jamie always knew. He knew Malcolm hid who he truly was under the facade he used at Number 10 but he only allowed Jamie to see certain things. That's why even now he lets Clara dominate him in his life and in bed. He was glad to be out of politics because he could finally be himself again. He preferred to give rather than take in sexual and close personal relationships. 

Clara chuckled, "Don't worry I won't do anything unless you want too." She eventually got off the sofa and went to take a shower and get dressed. She watched Malcolm go to take his shower and made breakfast. She was wondering what was taking him so long. When she passed the bedroom on the way to the bathroom she saw him out on the balcony. He was completely dressed and had his black wool coat on to shield against the cold. She knew he was smoking a cigarette before she even saw him blow the smoke out and take another puff. She opened the door and joined him even though she didn't have a coat on. She said, "Pepper? Breakfast is ready. Pancakes taste better when they are warm. I'm not going in until you do. You all right?"

Malcolm took another long drag and replied, "Aye. I have ye. Why wouldn't I be fine? Jesus Christ ye must be freezing. Come're." He wrapped her up in his coat the best he could to try to keep her warm if she was going to insist on staying out here. He finished that cigarette and lit another one. It was one of those days that he knew he'd probably smoke the whole fucking pack. He wished Jamie never called him because now he was depressed as hell and Clara was paying the price because he was withdrawing in to himself. He didn't want her to know how badly Jamie broke his heart and when he called the wee bastard ripped the wound open again. She didn't need to deal with his pain that has nothing to do with her. The only comfort he has is Clara and he wouldn't do anything in the world to hurt her.

Clara watched him light another one and looked at the ashtray to find 5 butts ground out in it. Now she understood why he reeked of smoke when he wrapped her in his coat with him. She sighed, "Talk to me, Pepper. I can tell you are withdrawing and I want to know why. Did I say or do something wrong?" She watched him looking at the snow cover skyline and smoking thing he'd never answer her.

Malcolm finished his cigarette and ground it out and took the ashtray as he gently coaxed Clara back inside. When they were inside he kissed her forehead and removed his coat. He dumped and washed out the ashtray before sitting down to eat breakfast with Clara. He said, "I'm not good company right now, Clara. I think I should go home. It's nothing you did. It's just...."

Clara said, "It's Jamie..Isn't it?" He had told her she had to push him until he talked if he wouldn't do it himself so the easiest way was to make him angry.

Malcolm nodded and said, "I don't want to talk about. I can't. I'm sorry."

Clara accused, "So what? Now are you going to run back to him? When he left you 3 years ago without a single phone call?" She saw the hurt look on his face when it hit the mark. She didn't expect him to turn it back on her.

Malcolm yelled, "Is that what you fucking want me to do? Ye find some fucking young gobshite ye'd rather be with? Ye want me to leave?"

Clara whispered, "No, Malcolm. I just want you to talk to me. I can't help you fix what's wrong if you don't let me in."

Malcolm scrubbed a hand over his face and through his gray hair in frustration. He finally realized she was trying to piss him off and it backfired on her. He sighed, "There are some things ye just can't fix. Sometimes it pointless to even fucking try. Some things are meant to be fucking broken.. I'm going home before I wind up really saying something I can't take back. A word to the wise...Don't ever do that again. Next time I may not bite my tongue. I'm a fucking Bastard cunt. I can fucking verbally rip ye apart until you are pile of fucking shite on the floor. I'll regret it later but I'm not nice man. Just remember that if you start mincing words with me, Clara." He put his coat on and stopped when Clara grabbed his arm.

Clara cried, "I'm sorry, Pepper. You told me I'd have to push you to talk. I didn't mean what I said. I trust you to keep your word about Jamie. I just thought getting you angry would get you talk. I am just trying to get you to trust me and talk to me about what's wrong. Please don't go. Your scaring me. I'm afraid you won't come back in one piece. I love you."

Malcolm gently ran his knuckles of over her cheek and kissed her forehead. He sighed, "I'm sorry too but I need to be alone right now. I'm in a fucking shitty mood and ye don't need to have to deal with the velociraptor. I don't want to but I'd wind up taking it out on ye. I promise I won't do anything stupid. I'll keep all my pieces intact. I promise."

Clara cried, "You call me and let me know you're all right. Do as you are told." She knew she had no choice but to let him go but she'd be damned if he wasn't going to call her so she knows he's all right.

Malcolm sighed, "Aye, my Clara. I'll call ye later." He picked up his keys and drove home. He spent the day moping around brooding. Then something in him just fucking snapped. He just started throwing things and before he knew it he had such a temper tantrum he broke all his dishes and cups. His books were thrown all over the fucking floor. Then he moved on to all the pictures he had framed of him and Jamie. He smashed and stomped on them. His cell phone rang and he saw it was Jamie so he threw it at the wall and it busted in a million pieces. He wound up doing the same thing with his house phone and groaned because he had promised to call Clara and now he couldn't. The only things he didn't throw or destroy were things that Clara gave him. He left the mess and went upstairs. He collapse in a heap on his bed and groaned, "Fucking fuck me!" He hadn't dealt with his grief when Jamie left and now it caught up with him. He had thought burying everything had been the right thing to do but knew he had been wrong. As he started bonding with Clara and accepting his emotions again everything he had buried was bubbling to the surface like a fucking volcano waiting to explode. Jamie was the reason he had buried all his feelings and now he was overwhelmed by them and Jamie was the trigger.

Clara was trying to Call Malcolm but he wasn't answering either of his phones. By 9 in the evening she was really getting worried and called a taxi to go to Malcolm's house to make sure he didn't get hurt or try to kill himself. When she got there and opened the door she was shocked. It looked like a hurricane came through his house with busted porcelain and books strewn all over the floor. She started to panic and ran upstairs to his bedroom where she found him in a feat position on the bed sobbing. She got on the bed on the side he was face and wrapped her arms around him. She felt him trying to bury himself as close to her as he could. His hands were grasping her shirt like a child and she sighed, "Oh, Malcolm. I'm going to slap that bloody man if I ever meet him. He is the reason you have such a hard time letting me in, isn't it?" She felt him nod against her breast and finally understood. Everything with the Goulding Inquiry destroyed his trust and kindness but Jamie was why Malcolm was such an emotional mess now. She was starting to realize how much that man hurt her Malcolm. It was quite apparent Jamie ripped Malcolm's heart out and stomped on it. Although it was possible Malcolm didn't even realize how truly violent a reaction he would have after that phone call. Speaking of phones she asked, "Why didn't you call me? Have you even taken your meds yet?"

Malcolm croaked, "Jamie called. Smashed phone. No."

Clara had learned how to translate Malcolm when he was like this. Jamie had called and he had smashed his phone in anger and no he hadn't take his pills yet. She went to get up and he wouldn't let go of her. She said, "I'm going to get your pills and a glass of water. I'll be right back I promise." She felt him let go of her shirt and he obediently took his pills when she gave them to him. Then she got him out of his clothes without a fuss and under the blankets. Then she stripped naked as well and slid in beside him and they wound up in the same potion they were in before except instead of her shirt one of his long fingered hands grasped her waist while the other that was between them was cupping her naked breast. She felt his thumb repeatedly rubbing the inside of her breast. The skin to skin contact seemed to calm him. She realized that the way he did everything she told him was the way he was under all the walls. This was the true Malcolm totally stripped of all his walls and defenses. Completely obedient to her and only her. Comforted only by her and calmed by the feel of her naked skin. 

Malcolm was completely shut down except for his instinct to listen to his "master" and do whatever she told him too. When he was in bed and curled back against Clara he was relieved. He cupped her breast with his left hand cupping Clara's breast and rubbing circles on the side of it with his thumb and that repetitive pattern started to sooth him. He felt Clara pulled them as close as humanly possible and entwining their legs together. He fucking hated it when he got like a fucking sobbing baby but he couldn't bury his emotions and have a relationship. He wasn't capable of both so he just had to wait until all his fucking breakdowns were over and hopefully found a fairly agreeable equilibrium. He just hoped Clara could put up with his drastic mood swings. He whispered, "I'm so sorry, Mo ionmhuin."

Clara replied, "It's all right. You should have seen me when Nina dumped me for another woman. I took her clothes and set them on fire in the city park. She had to buy a whole new wardrobe. It was all over the news with the fire company and police. They never caught me though because I was clever. I used a Molotov cocktail to set them on fire from the car. I least you're not doing something illegal like I did."

Malcolm gasped, "Remind me to not piss ye off."

Clara said, "You better not. I might enjoy watching you run around naked because I set all your clothes on fire. Maybe I'll do it anyway. I really do love it when you strut around naked."

Malcolm groaned, "I do not strut."

Clara smiled, "I love you horror girl in high heels run too. You and your flailing arms and girly run."

Malcolm groaned, "Oh Christ. When did ye see that?"

Clara replied, "One day you were late for a meeting with the principal. I watched run past me in the hallway."

Clara kissed his forehead and replied, "You are such a girl my beloved bottom."

Malcolm replied, "And ye are my girly boy in drag." 

Clara lightly smacked his shoulder but the banter had the effect of cheering him up some and so it was worth it. She replied, "Maybe but I'm definitely the one on top of things."

Malcolm replied, "Oh, Aye. Ye are more than welcome to be the top to my bottom any day. I'm getting to enjoy how ye ride my ass all the time."

Clara said, "Oh that sounds like fun. Better be careful I may enjoy taking it literally."

Malcolm replied honestly, "Ye can fuck me if ye want. I can teach ye what ta do. I don't mind. I used to enjoy it. Ye may need a few things to do it though seeing as ye haven't got a dick. Think about it. Ye don't have ta do it though if ye don't want. I'm happy with anything ye willing to give me. I think I want to sleep now. Night, my Clara."

Clara wrapped her arms around him tighter and listened to his breathing deepen as he fell asleep. She had to admit the dominating side of her was thrilled at the idea of at least giving that idea a try. Malcolm had admitting to being the bottom in a same sex relationship and wasn't opposed to receiving anal sex. In fact he just said he just blatantly welcomed her to try it on him. It would also be a new way to please him that she could participate in. She eventually fell asleep thinking of new ways to make Malcolm hot and bothered.


	22. Mathew & David  Had a Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mathew runs to Clara and Malcolm when he has a fight with David.

The next morning Clara woke up facing away from Malcolm and he was tightly spooned up behind her. He still had his hand cupping her breast and his cheek was resting against her hair. When she tried to roll over to look at him his arm tightened and he made a distressed sound in his sleep. She eventually managed to roll back over to face him and caressed his cheek with her knuckles and kissed his forehead. Clara heard her phone go off and half rolled and grabbed it which was a feat with Malcolm vice like grip on her waist. She answered, "Hello? Matty? What's wrong? What happened?" She heard him crying on the other end and managed pull far enough away to be able to breathe and it jostled Malcolm enough to make him look at her with bleary eyes but he loosened his grip on her. 

Mathew stammered, "Me and David...we had a fight. I didn't know where else to go."

Clara asked, "Matty? Where are you?"

Mathew replied, "Your...apartment. Can you let me in?"

Clara said, "Shit. I'm not there. I'm at Malcolm's. We had a rough night. I'll get dressed and get there as soon as I...Hold on a sec." 

Malcolm mumbled, "What happened?"

Clara said, "Matty's at my apartment. He had a fight with David. I'm sorry. I have to go. He's my brother and he needs me. You can come with me."

Malcolm sighed, "Jesus Christ. Tell bowtie boy to fucking come here."

Clara asked, "Are you sure?"

Malcolm, "No but I don't want to be fucking separated from ye right now. I'm in a fucking clingy mood. Let's say I'm in a fucking giving mood. Besides we can't go running back to your apartment just because Mathew's there. I'm not dressing up for the bastard though. I'm only throwing on my fucking pajamas." He got up and put on his robe to go and take his morning pills while Clara showered. He went back to his room slipped out of his robe and nodded off again.

Clara said, "All right. Matty? Malcolm said you can come here. You have a pencil and paper? I'll give you directions."She gave her brother directions to get to Malcolm's and then went and showered before putting on a tank top and loose cotton jogging pants. She came back in the bedroom to find Malcolm asleep again. It took a bit of poking and prodding but she finally got Malcolm to move and go get his own shower. She kissed him and fingered the gold owl he wore before gently turning him around and tapping his butt as she gently pushed him toward the bathroom. She realized he must have more than one holey jumper because she remembered picking it up off the floor last night. With it he was wearing a pair of loose black fleece pants with white polka dots on them. He was also wearing a pair of black socks with white polka dots. She stifled a grin realizing he really liked polka dots. When she walked downstairs she realized she had completely forgotten about the house being a wreck. She groaned and started picking up all the broken china. She had the china and glass cleaned up by time Malcolm came downstairs and had started on the books. 

Malcolm helped Clara clean up the books he threw all over the floor the night before and then laid down on the sofa and put on the TV to watch the morning news. His head was in the nest of pillows at the end farthest from the TV and his feet were propped up on the opposite arm of the sofa. He heard the nock at the door but knew Clara was waiting for it so he stayed where he was on the sofa. He watched Clara guide Mathew to one of the leather chairs across from him. Mathew was wearing another one of his Victorian like outfits in burgundy this time with a burgundy polka dot bowtie. He heard the young man sniffle a hello so he replied, "Aye, you're welcome, Mathew. I'd offer you a fucking cup of tea or glass of water but I need to buy fucking new ones."

Mathew sniffled, "Hello. Thank you so much for letting me come here. David knows where Clara lives and I don't really feel up to facing him today. Why do you have to buy new ones?"

Malcolm asked, " Eh. I fucking had a fit and threw them at the fucking wall. For some fucking reason they all fucking broke. Go figure. So...What the fuck did the fucking skinny arsed gobshite do?"

Mathew stammered, "Well...I paint portraits for people and David told me I needed to get a real job and stop wasting my time on my art. He told me if I didn't of my lazy...arse he was going to divorce me and throw me out on the street. He loved that I was an artist when we got together. I painted a couple for Clara where she was in Victorian dress."

Clara said, "He's very good, Pepper. He's got a lot of talent..I'd like him to paint you as well as a few of you and me together."

Malcolm replied, "While the little gobshite may have a point. It's not right for him to tell ye one thing when you got married and to change it now. Sounds to me like the fucker is a control freak like Clara. The thing with Clara is that she knows there are certain things not to push me on because I will shut down and walk out. She know when to and not to fucking push me. I've see ye Victorian portraits, Mo ionmhuin. If ye want him to do that's fine. He could probably make a lot of pounds if he could get in the right circle. I'll see if I can call in a few favors."

Mathew said, "Thank you. Your accent is thicker than it was a dad's house. It's more like David's."

Malcolm replied, "It's just my normal brogue. Sorry I fucking slip into it out of habit around Clara. It's a fucking bitch to maintain the lighter one and I have no reason to hide my real accent from her anymore. If it's too painful to hear I can..."

Mathew replied, "Oh god no. I like it and not just because David's is the same. I actually find your gravelly brogue comforting. No It was just an observation. I never realized you hide a thicker accent over a false lighter one. David sometimes will fake and English accent but not a lighter copy of his normal one. I love David very much but he really hurt me when he said to give up what I love. When we got married he told me he didn't ever want me to stop painting."

Malcolm scoffed, "Comforting? Now that's something I was never accused of before but if it makes ye feel better...Art isn't something everyone had the fucking patience for because it takes a lot of time and effort to fucking get anywhere. Clara? Would ye go in my top right hand desk drawer and get me a black 10X14 book and the metal tin that's with it please."

Clara lightly smacked him on the top of his head and teased, "Oi! Are your legs suddenly broken? Or did you forget who the boss is around here."

Malcolm replied, "Aye. I haven't forgotten. How can I? Ye always remind me. I'm just a lazy fucking bastard today, Mo ionmhuin."

Clara dropped the book on his soft belly and heard a satisfying "oof" and coyly replied, "This the book you want, Pepper?" She handed him the tin as well.

Malcolm didn't expect her to drop the heavy book on his belly and it knocked the wind out of him. He rubbed his belly and gasped, "Aye. Thank ye." He held out the book to Mathew hesitantly before he could change his mind. The only thing that him thinking twice was that his sketchbook was also his personal diary but the desire to show Mathew his artwork outweighed the worry.. He said, "These are my drawings. Nobody knows I have them except ye and Clara now. I've never showed them even ta Clara. My career wasn't kind to those who were artists. Don't read the stuff I wrote in it, yeah? It's....personal. "

Mathew took the book and opened it. He was amazed at the detail's of each portrait. He recognized Clara was the main subject. Malcolm had drawn her at her desk, in the cafeteria eating lunch, there was one from Christmas eve and the most recent was Clara naked sleeping in bed. He blushed at seeing that one and quickly skipped to the next one. There were drawings of himself and David from Christmas eve as well. He noticed the writing and did as requested and didn't read any of it. He also saw drawings of Politians and a few other people he assumes Malcolm had worked with in Downing Street. He asked, "These are beautiful. Did you draw all these from memory?"

Malcolm shrugged, "Aye. Most of them were from memory. I did draw them over the years around the time I saw the image in there. Some of the ones I drew of Clara she was unaware I was drawing her." He saw Clara come over and snatch the book from Mathew and her eyes inflated when she found the one of her naked. He said, "You were so beautiful that night. I just had to draw you."

Clara hissed, "You drew me naked and then showed the drawing to my brother? What were you thinking?"

Malcolm growled, "Actually I wasn't. It wasn't planned. I was inspired so I did it. I'm sorry if it embarrasses you. I honestly forgot I fucking drew that drawing until I saw you're brother's cheeks turn a fucking lovely shade of pink. I only drew it because....you are the best thing that's ever fucking happened to me. Ye are my muse, Clara. If it bothers ye that much then fucking burn it if ye want but ye'd better be fucking sure that's what ye want to do. Ye might fucking regret that decision. I'm going for a fucking walk." He got up and put on his wool coat and loafers not caring that he was still in his pajamas and slammed the door. He lit a cigarette the minute he closed the door.


	23. Malcolm's Unusual Diary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clara Reads Malcolm's book of Sketches and finds out why he had been so upset with her over her complaining about his drawing of her.
> 
> *Mea Culpa - Through my Fault  
> *Kyrie Eleison - Lord have Mercy

Clara watched Malcolm run out of the house and looked back at the book that started their little argument. Ate first glance it just looked like a sketchbook but then she looked at the back of each of the drawings. Every drawing had something written on the back of it. She started to read them starting with the back of her naked portrait. 

In his block script Malcolm had written:

"Mo ionmhuin, my Clara. She looks like a goddess tonight with the moon bathing her in a shimmering light. She is such a beautiful woman. She has padding in all the right places. She's so perfect it scares me. She probably wonders why I am always holding her breasts. They are the perfect size for me to cup my hand over and rubbing my thumbs over them has a calming effect on my anxiety because as long as she still lets me touch her soft naked breast she still wants to be my lover. I count my blessing everyday that she still wants me because I fear someday she will not want me as her lover anymore because I will be too old and undesirable. I dread when that day comes. Scares me that I may not be good enough to keep her. She allowed me to make love to her today for the first time and then again this evening. Even after seeing my old wrinkled naked body she still bid me into her bed. She doesn't realize how precious of a gift that is too me and that I will cherish every night she gives me this gift for the rest of my days. She is the most precious thing in my life. I love her with every fiber of my being and can't picture my life without her beautiful presence. It terrifies me because I have never felt this way about anyone before not even Jamie. Clara has no idea how much she has of me. She owns my heart, body, and life. Without her I am nothing. I want to spoil her to try and make her understand how much I adore her and to try compensate for what I lack in hope that she will be happy staying with me. She is the light in my dark dreary life. Malcolm Dougan Tucker" The date was the first day they made love.

After all the Christmas eve drawings she found one of her at the Jewelry counter the day they got their commitment rings. 

"Today my Clara insisted that I replace my old worn wedding band with a ring to represent our relationship. I told I would if she would accept a ring from me as well. When she said yes to it I was giddy with happiness. I'm hoping someday I'll have the bollocks to ask her to truly marry me but I'm terrified that she will say no. I'm not young and handsome like the type of man she deserves. I'm old, skinny, wrinkled, and gray. My life has worn me down and took its toll on my body and my mind. I know she refers to me as a "grey haired stick insect" and that's a fairly accurate description of me. I accidentally overheard he telling her brother that over the phone one evening. I do not know what she sees in me that makes her stay with me. I'm damaged goods and can only cause her grief in her life. I should let her go to find someone worthy of her but I've become very selfish in my old age. I find that I do not wish to let her go. She has agreed to be mine and now not even the gates of hell can keep me away from her. *Kyrie Eleison *Mea Culpa she has grief brought into her life but I love her so much I would take my own life if I lost her. She is the only reason I live for now. Malcolm Dougan Tucker"

She found he had a lot of drawings of her at the school, grading papers at both their homes Some of them just had short sentences like : 

"She is so beautiful when she concentrates and someday I can't help but hope to have that concentration directed at me" - A drawing of her grading papers

"Why does a beautiful creature like Clara Oswald want anything to do with an old man like me?" - A Drawing of her laughing at something some was said

"I am drawn to Clara like a moth to a flame afraid of being burnt" - A Drawing of their first date at the diner down the block from the school

"My nerves are on fire from being electrocuted but I am compelled to draw her anyway because she is so beautiful" - A drawing of her standing in her classroom teaching

"Clara loves me. My beloved Clara loves me." - A drawing of her with a look of love on her face. She knew she had been looking at him.

"Clara gave me these for Christmas this year." - A drawing of the lighter with the engraving, the owl caretaker figuring and owl pendant he's worn since Christmas under his clothes.

She found a drawing of her and Danny in the hallway talking and looking at the back it was the night that he had mistaken them for a couple. On the back was the writing of a heart broken man.

"Clara had asked to see me after school was out and I was happy but while I was walking back from cleaning the windows I saw Clara with a young man. I recognized him as another teacher. He was one of the ones that at least politely ignored me rather than give me a rash of shit over what I used to do for a living. But when I saw him standing there with Clara my heart broke in two. I should have realized that a woman as young and beautiful as Clara had a boyfriend and was only trying to just be nice to me. I'm just an old love sick fool who should have known better. My life has been full of disappointment. I should be used to it by now. I'm surprised at how hurt I am because I have not felt this much pain since Jamie up an skipped town. That's what happened when I forget I'm nothing but worthless foulmouthed old cunt. I wish she had let me die because now I feel like I'm the fucking walking dead anyway. *Kyrie Eleison *Mea Culpa I am now even more fucking fucked up. Oh Clara, my lovely Clara. I wish it was me you wanted but alas I should have known better."

Then she found the very first drawing he ever drew of her. It was a recreated image of her leaning over him after he had electrocuted himself and died for a minute. It was completely with the tears she shed. On the back was written:

"Yesterday I met a beautiful woman named Clara Oswald who teaches English at Coal Hill School. I was a rude asshole to her like I was to everyone else to make her leave me alone. For some reason I had regretted it and against my better judgment apologize to her. Now today I was an idiot and electrocuted myself and Clara told me my heart had stopped. She should have let me die but instead she saved my worthless life. When I opened my eyes all I could see was the weeping angel that saved my life. She wept for me. I do not understand why. I am nothing to her but she ordered and drove me to the hospital. This one act of kindness has given me hope and I've fallen in love with her. She will never be interested in an old gray hair man like me but I am still compelled to try and befriend her. I never thought I could ever feel this way again. I will never say so out loud to her because I am nothing to her but she is my light in the darkness."

She found a naked drawing of Malcolm that he drew of himself in a mirror right after the one of her sleeping naked on the bed. He didn't look anything close to what he does now. His skin was looser, sagged more, the bags under his eyes were more pronounced, his bones showing through his skin. He was practically emaciated like he had been starving himself. His face more harsh, haggard, and gaunt. His curly hair un-brushed and wild. His eyebrows bushy and angrier than she's ever seen them. The thing that didn't make sense at first was how he drew his penis. The real deal was rather large and full. The one in the picture was barely even noticeable in his nest of curls around it. He was nothing but skin and bones in this self portrait but this was drawn on the same night he drew her naked. She flipped it over to read the back because there had to be a reason he drew himself like that.

"You call me handsome and a stud muffin. I see me as neither. I usually don't do self portraits but I forced myself to do this one for you, Clara, in hopes that one day when I die and leave you this book you will be able to understand why I consider you being attracted to me at this time in my life impossible. Why I consider it a wonderful gift that you still desired to share your bed with me even after seeing me naked. This is what I see when I look in the mirror. This sadly is what I have seen for a very long time. Nothing but an empty husk of what used to be me. I had to destroy and corrupt what made me who I was so badly when I entered politics that it has warped my view of myself. I'm only able to see this jaded view of what I think of myself as being. I can no longer see who I was before now. My sight is jaded by the things I've had to do to keep my job at Number 10. My existence has been so jaded for so long that I no longer can see anything but this when I look in the mirror. It's what's left of who I am inside, an emaciated husk of a walking zombie. I fucking hate myself and what I've become so much that I can't understand why you love me. I am grateful that you do but have a hard time grasping that you could love this worn out husk. You have to understand I do not fault others for hating me because I hate myself. I feel I deserve to be hated because of what I did while at Number 10. I told you when we got together that I was damaged goods but I wasn't ready to tell you how fucking damaged I really am. I am sorry that I am suck a fucked up emotional disaster. I wish I could see me through your eyes, my Clara, because maybe then I'd see why you are attracted to me. Maybe I'd be able to understand why you love me. Maybe I'd be able to see myself as the decent loving person you're innocent eyes see me as when all I see is a broken down emaciated cunt. I see you as a beautiful guardian angel who took pity on a miserable suicidal old bastard who thought he was incapable of ever loving again. Everyday my angel stays is a gift that I will always cherish until my dying breath. Mo ionmhuin, my Clara. Thank you for staying and loving me anyway because you make my life worth living."

Clara put her hand to her mouth and collapsed on the sofa that Malcolm had recently vacated. She started sobbing in despair. She never realized he hated himself. She knew there was something bothering him but didn't realize it went to his core and the view of himself. She thought it was the age difference and insecurity because she was quite a bit younger than him. The last month she had seen it was deeper and that many of the experiences he had been through left him scarred but she simply had no idea how scarred he was until now. It was no wonder he was terrified she would leave him. He was so damaged that he put her on a pedestal because he felt if she was with him she was some sort of benevolent angel. She felt a pair of arms go around her shoulders and remembered Matty was there. She sobbed into her brother's chest while he comforted her.

Mathew watched Clara's face go bale as she looked at Malcolm's sketchbook until her knees gave away and she collapsed on the sofa sobbing. He watched the book fall to the floor open to the page she was looking at. He forgot about his problems with David and sat next to Clara on the sofa and pulled her close and held her while she cried. He looked down to see text on the page that was open and realized it was more than a sketchbook and whatever she had just read upset her. He refused to look at it because he knew it had to be personal and Malcolm would not appreciate him snooping. When she was drained he said, "Maybe you should lie down for a little while, Clara. I'll tell Malcolm you did when he comes back and then I'll leave if he wants me too. " He watched her nod and helped her to her feet and upstairs. He asked, "Which room?"

Clara replied, "The one at the far end of the hall."

Mathew gently prodded her to keep walking until they reached the bedroom with the rumpled bed and a mix of masculine and feminine decor. he stopped at the door realizing that this must be Malcolm's bedroom. He stammered, "If you are all right..I'll be downstairs if you need me."

Clara turned and looked at Matty and said, "Thanks for holding me. I usually have Malcolm but..."

Mathew replied, "It's ok. What are big brother's for eh?"

Clara said, "I need to talk to Malcolm when he comes home. I think I may understand why he is the way he is now. He hates himself so...much. I can't even fathom why because I love him even with his flaws and anger. I'm all he has, Matty. He won't let anyone else in because he doesn't trust them. He's not a bad man. He's loving, passionate, kind, and sweet but he can't see it."

Mathew kissed her cheek and tapped her nose before saying, "Go lie down for a bit, Clara. I'll make sure he knows you want to see him." He watched Clara lie down and cover over with the quilt on the bed before closing the door leaving it open a crack before going downstairs to wait for Malcolm to return. He thought about picking up the book but decided to leave it where it lay. Maybe Malcolm will understand what happened better than him once he saw the page she was reading.


	24. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Malcolm comes home and talks to Clara and he and Mathew start to bond.

When Mathew heard the door open about an hour later he looked up. Malcolm looked like hell. Red rimmed eyes and he could tell the older man reeked of cigarettes from where he sat. He watched him get a bottle of scotch and take it with him to the sofa. 

Malcolm took off his wool coat and hung it up on the coat rack and took off his loafers. He went and got one of his many bottles of scotch and forgot he didn't have a glass. He took it over with him when he went and flopped down on the sofa. He had to admit he was surprised to see Mathew still sitting in the chair in the living room. He thought Clara had left and surely her brother would go with her rather than stick around with a miserable middle-aged man. He took a swig and then offered it to Mathew who actually took a swig and then handed it back to him. He looked down and saw his book on the floor and asked, "Where's Clara? Why is my book open on the floor? Did she go home? Why are ye still here? Shouldn't ye have gone with her? I doubt ye want to hang around with a miserable old man who is probably going to get fucking smashed."

Mathew sighed, "No. Clara's having a lie down upstairs in your room. She read that page in your book and collapsed in a sobbing heap. Before you ask I didn't read it. The only thing I think came from there was that she told me you hate yourself so much and she doesn't understand why you do because you are I quote "loving, passionate, kind, and sweet but can't see it" and I don't doubt her ability to know a good person. I believe my sister to be a good judge of character. No matter who you used to be a couple years ago, you are not that man anymore. You may not see that but Clara does and so do I. You are Clara's world." He had pointed to the book when he mentioned the page in it.

Malcolm sighed, "Thank ye for not reading my written thoughts. Clara is more to than that to me. I don't know how she puts up with me. Fucking hell she's even called me a gray haired stick insect for fuck sake. She has no fucking idea how right she is in that assumption."

Mathew's eyes widened and he replied, "I was unaware that you knew that. She didn't mean it as an insult. You know why? She told me I quote "He reminds me of a gray haired stick insect sometimes but he's my gray hair stick insect and I love him with my whole heart because of it" besides I even think you are a cute gray haired stick insect."

Malcolm groaned, "Did ye just flirt with me?"

Mathew chuckled, "Yeah. Sorry I'm an awful flirt. I hit on anyone I find hot. I guess I'm a bit like gran in that respect. Clara knows I'm harmless though. I'd never get between the two of you. You are good for each other and I'd be a fool to break that up. David is used to it as well. He's luckily not the jealous type which is a good thing for me with how many men I flirt with. I never act on it though well...not when I'm committed to someone. When I'm single though is another matter.

Malcolm sighed, "Well at least you haven't pinched my fucking arse yet. You're gran was fucking obsessed with my arse at Christmas. She literally became a fucking pain in the arse. I guess I should go check on Clara."

Mathew stammered, "I guess I should go..."

Malcolm replied, "No you stay as long as ye like. I'm sorry today has been a fucking TV drama." He handed the bottle to Mathew and went to his room and sat on the bed. He hesitated and sighed. He felt Clara tug at his jumper and took that as permission to hold her. He got comfortable on his back and she curled against his side with her head on his shoulder. He felt her hand slip under his jumper and settle on the soft swell of his belly before she start rubbing gentle circles through the hair on his belly.

Clara sighed, "You've been smoke too much and drinking again. Do you not even know you don't look like that drawing?" She could smell he reeked of smoke and could smell the alcohol on his breath. She wished he'd stop trying to ignore his feelings by trying to put himself in an early grave by smoking like a chimney and drowning himself in scotch. 

Malcolm sighed, "Aye. I've been smoking and drinking. I only had a couple of swigs though. Hate drinking from the fucking bottle and I broke all my tumblers. Beside Mathew was downstairs. I had thought ye both went to yer place. I won't lie. I did intent to get fucking smashed. Then Mathew told me ye were still her so I figured I'd better deal with this sober. Ye know I'm not very good at talking. But I'll try for ye. I'm.... aware I look different to ye, Clara. I am aware I have gained weight and I have a soft round belly now that you are rather fond of rubbing and poking at but I...hate myself so much I can't get past the image I see in here." He tapped his temple with his free hand while he ran his fingers lightly over her arm. 

Clara said, "Oh, Pepper. You look nothing like the emaciated image in that drawing. Your face is fuller and not as harsh at it used to look when I met you, your arms and legs are still quite thin but they do not look like they belong on a skeleton. Your belly is soft and round causing it to protrude a few inches out from your waist and you are right I am very fond of your soft little pot belly. I love how it jiggles when you laugh, how it makes a nice pillow when I'm laying on top of you, as well as sneaking my hands up your jumper from behind and hugging you with my hands pressed against it. I also love that it's a nice combination of fluffy and fuzzy. A bit like a teddy bear. Yeah, my soft fuzzy teddy bear. As for your penis I know it's at least 8 inches long and 4 inches thick when limp. I have no idea exactly how big it is when erect but it is not tiny at all."

Malcolm cleared his throat and replied, "10 inches by 6 inches."

Clara propped up on her elbow and looked at him and said, "What?"

Malcolm blues and replied, "My erection. It's 10 inches long and 6 inches thick. At least that's what I was told by a lovely prostitute once years ago."

Clara gasped, "Wow, no wonder it took time to adjust to your size the first time we made love."

Malcolm looked at her face and ran his knuckled over her cheek. He asked, "I didn't hurt ye did I...When I took ye?"

Clara blushed and replied, "Only a little. You were very tender and patient, Pepper. You gave me the time I needed to adjust after each time you pushed in so it only hurt when I was stretched to fit you but it went away as soon as my body had adjusted. Don't even start the self berating. The mild pain I had was well worth the pleasure of having you inside me while we made love. Don't you ever think otherwise. You are a very attentive and tender lover. I wouldn't trade you for all the pretty young men in the world, Pepper. Not ever. I'm hoping someday you will understand just how much I love you."

Malcolm whispered, "I know you do. I'm sorry I don't always believe it."

Clara asked, "What is that book? I can see it's a sketchbook but..."

Malcolm sighed, "That book is my diary. It catalogs my life in drawings. On the back of each drawing I wrote down why I drew it. I never intended to give it to ye until I was dying. I was keeping a record of my life so ye'd have something that I personally put effort into. It is a written record of all the feelings I can't say out loud and my darkest secrets. It also has some of my opinions and rants about certain people I've had to deal with in my life. I actually have about 5 other books and now this one makes 6 books I have like that one but they are mostly about the fuck ups at Downing Street." When she gave him a startled look he replied, "What? I had a lot of internalized fucking anger at those stupid cunts."

Clara laughed, "You mean to tell me you have 5 sketchbook/diary things dedicated to the politicians at Downing Street? I don't even have my own book? Think I may be jealous."

Malcolm chuckled, "Oh don't worry, my Clara. If you can put up with me and my fucking bullshit until I die I'll probably have many books dedicated to you and your beauty."

Clara leaned her head down and kissed him firmly on the lips. When she pulled away she teased, "You better or I might feel neglected."

Malcolm pulled her close and whispered, "I'll never neglect you, my Clara. Ye are my whole life." He might try to push her away and tell her to leave him alone when it was about himself but he would also be there for her if he knew she needed him even if he was distant. He would never deny her what she needed from him whether it was comfort or sex. He'd always be there if he could be. He heard a knock and it took him a minute to realized it was on his bedroom door. He cleared his throat and called, "Come in, bowtie boy. It's not like we're fucking shagging each other's brains out."

Mathew blushed but opened the door. He asked, "Would it be too much to ask if I could stay a couple of days? until I can go back home and deal with David?"

Malcolm replied, "Fuck. What the hell. Why not. Might do the fucking cunt some good to have to worry about ye for a couple fucking days. Do ye need to go with ye to get some clothes or something?"

Mathew replied, "I to ask for anything else but could you? I don't want to talk to him right now."

Malcolm replied, "Ye need a fucking buffer to keep him from giving you a guilt trip because you are a fucking pussy and don't have a pair of fucking bollocks. Ye need a fucking referee with big bollocks."

Clara slapped his soft belly where her hand was under his shirt and heard him hiss in response. She yelled, "Malcolm Tucker. You apologize right now."

Mathew stammered, "No. It's ok, Clara. You know why I like him so much? He's honest and direct. Malcolm doesn't candy coat anything to me and I respect that about him. Even if it is a bit hurtful at times I at least know where I stand. At least he tells you how he feels up front. He's right though. You have always been the one out of us that has balls, Clara. I do need a knight in shining armor, Malcolm. David won't start anything with Malcolm because he knows what Malcolm has been like to people who anger him in the past."

Malcolm groaned, "Yeah. I'll be yer fucking knight in shining armor. Only in this case it will be fucking polka dots. I need ta buy a new fucking phone anyway."

Mathew asked, "What's wrong with the old one?"

Malcolm replied, "It had fucking unfortunate accident with a wall being in the middle of its fucking flight path."

Mathew asked, "Why was it flying?"

Malcolm smirked, "Because I fucking threw it."

Mathew replied, "Oh. I guess that is unfortunate."


	25. Knight in Shining Armor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Malcolm takes Mathew to pick up some clothes and then disaster strikes.
> 
> Warning - Lots of bonding and of Gay Banter :P

A half an hour later Malcolm was running out the door with Mathew in tow. He stopped to get a new iphone with his old number and had it activated before they went to Mathew's place. He also picked up some dishes, glasses, a whiskey tumbler, and tea cups to replace the one he destroyed. Then he sent Clara a text to let her know they were on the way to get Mathew some clothes. He was leaning on the door frame when David answered the door. He smirked, "Hello, David. Mathew needs some of his clothes. Let us the fuck in will ye?"

David was surprised when he found Malcolm on his door step and it was apparent the anger on the older man's face was directed at him. When Malcolm told him about Matty's clothes he looked and saw Matty standing behind Malcolm like a shield. He said, "Aye come in. Ye shouldn't be sticking yer nose in our business, Malcolm."

Malcolm icily replied, "Well I can hardly stay out of it when Clara's brother shows up crying on my fucking doorstep because of you, now can I?"

David was sudden angry, "Oooohooo. So you running off with Malcolm now? What's Clara got to say about ye canoodling with her boyfriend? Or do ye take turns with him?"

Malcolm backed David against the wall and place the tips of his fingers on David's chest while leaning on the wall with his other hand and hissed, "Look ye skinny controlling fucking little gobshite. I am not amused by yer fucking antics. Ye are the cunt who threaten to throw Mathew out because he wants to pursue his art when ye had told him in the beginning that ye liked that about him. As of right now I have nothing against ye but if ye continue down this path I will fucking have an issue with ye. Trust me when I say you do not want to fucking piss me off. Mathew maybe be a fucking pussy but ye know what? I'm fine with that because he's family and if you don't fucking wise the fuck up you will not be! Ye do not get away with fucking with my family. You need a few days to think long and hard about what ye want. Do ye fucking understand, sandshoes?"When David nodded he said, "Good. Now fuck the fuck off. Mathew ye can go get what you need for a few days."

Mathew was amazed by how Malcolm had terrified David without even raising his voice. The older man was definitely capable of everything the papers said but as he had seen himself there was another personality buried underneath that mask he had used for years. What was even more amazing was that the older man could still terrify others even with polka dot pajama pants on and a holey sweater. How that man still looked sexy and imposing dressed in silly pajamas made him want to swoon. He'd better stop thinking about it or he'd embarrass the hell out of himself. He packed quickly and followed Malcolm to the car and got in. He said, "Thank you, Malcolm." He didn't know what to do with his hands because usual on would be holding David's and now he couldn't stop fidgeting.

Malcolm replied, "Aye. That's what family does, yeah?" He noticed Mathew couldn't stop fidgeting and suddenly remembered the only time the younger man hadn't been like this was Christmas eve when he was holding hands with that gobshite. He sighed and held out his hand for Mathew. He noticed the younger man give his a smile of thanks. His passenger calmed down remarkably by just that. So he wound up driving home with his hand tightly clasped in Clara's Brother's hand resting on the younger man's lap. This day was just getting more fucking strange by the minute. Oh he understood what it was like to need to be touched and not get it. He joked, "I'm not yer fucking boyfriend, Mathew."

Mathew blushed and replied, "I know but it's a comfort just the same. Thank you."

Malcolm smiled a half smile and replied, "Aye. Yer welcome, Bowtie boy." When they got back home he locked up the car after Mathew got his bag and the dishes etc. out of the back seat. He lit a cigarette and took a drag. He coughed a few times before clearing his throat and rasping, "Ye can have the first bedroom on the left across from the bathroom. Okay?" He started coughing again and bent over with the force of it. He felt a hand on his back and wheezed, "I'm....fine.....Just my....smoker's.....cough." He finally stopped coughing long enough to breathe again. His regular cough wasn't usually bad enough to bend him over like that but it could be getting worse and his increased smoking might not be helping it. He wheezed, "Ye don't tell Clara. I don't need her to panic over nothing. Got that bowtie boy?"

Mathew was worried when Malcolm started coughing. It sounded went and raspy. When it cause the older man to bend over he rubbed a hand on Malcolm's back and asked, "You all right?" He heard the wheezing when Malcolm was breathing after he stopped coughing and didn't agree with not telling Clara. He thought it was something she should know about but he was a guest in Malcolm's home and not Clara's so he sighed, "All right. I don't agree with not telling her but if she finds out by you keeling over I don't want to be in the middle of it."

Malcolm finished his cigarette and quietly replied, "Fair e-fucking-nough." He followed Mathew in the house and found Clara making dinner in the kitchen. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the side of her head.   
Clara leaned back into Malcolm and asked, "David give you any trouble?"

Malcolm smirked, "Nothing I couldn't handle. He seems to think that ye and bowtie boy are both fucking me and sharing my bed. If ye weren't kin and were into 3 ways I might not have been bothered by that idea but he had no fucking right accusing you and Mathew of that. Besides I'm not that fucking attractive or young."

Clara laughed, "Maybe he's jealous."

Malcolm groaned, "Fucking fuck me. What could he possibly be jealous of?"

Clara turned around and lightly kissed Malcolm's chest and teased, "Maybe that Mathew has a handsome older man for a boyfriend that's willing to defend him and rip anyone apart that says anything bad about him."  
Malcolm laughed, "Are ye trying to tell me something?"

Clara teased, "Well.....You do like men and women....Maybe you'd like us to share you. That might be the better option. Then you could have both a girlfriend and a boyfriend. The best of both worlds." She slipped both her hands under his jumper and rubbed her hands in gentle circles over his round fuzzy belly. She loved winding him up sometimes. It was way too much fun to see him flustered and with his feathers ruffled.

Malcolm laughed, "Ooohooo. Fucking hell. I'm not bowtie boy's fucking boyfriend. Not to mention he's yer brother for fuck sake. Are ye trying ta kill me? Fuck. Trying ta keep up with two 30 year olds sex drives would probably give me a fucking stroke. Granted there are worse ways to die but...Jesus Christ, Clara. Are ye fucking mental? Besides I'm as good as married to you remember?"

Clara smiled, "Wow I got the insecure Malcolm Tucker to say the word married in a sentence regarding me. I'm 28 and Mathew is 35. Besides Mathew was adopted so technically it wouldn't really matter. He's my brother because I love him and was raised with him but biologically we aren't related at all."

Malcolm replied, "Aye. I did. Because that's how I fucking feel, Mo ionmhuin. Ye are a very unusual woman." It suddenly hit him like a brick on the head that he really was twice (28 years) Clara's fucking age. He was 21 years older than her brother. He collapse in a kitchen chair. He moan, "Jesus Christ do ye realize I am 28 fucking years older than ye? That is twice yer age, Clara. Fucking hell. I need a fucking drink." 

Clara watched him pour 2 drinks and drink them one right after the other before pouring a third and walking to the sofa and flopping down on it. She knelt on the floor between his spread knees and rested her head on one of his knees. She said, "I know you are twice my age and I don't care, Pepper. I love you. I wouldn't never have chosen you if I didn't want to be with you."

Malcolm had his scotch glass resting on one knee while he held it and Clara's head on his other knee. He ran his free hand over her hair more to comfort himself than her. He sighed, "I know ye do, Clara. I didn't know exactly how old ye are until today but ye've known mine since almost the day we met. It was my way of trying to tell ye I was too fucking old fer ye. Yet here we are anyway."

Clara was crying and whispered, "Do you regret being with me?"

Malcolm swallowed a mouthful of scotch and tightly replied, "No. I don't. Not one fucking day. I've never been happier and am too much of a selfish bastard to give ye up now. It's just fucking reminder that I am way closer to the grave than ye are. If I live ta be 76 years old ye'll only be 48 years old when I die, Clara. Ye won't even be as old as I am now. That makes me feel more fucking guilty about taking the best years of your life. I'm sorry. I'm thinking too much again."

Clara teased, "Stop thinking then."

Malcolm sighed, "I'm trying but it's very hard to stop once ye start." He looked up to see Mathew coming around the sofa and decided to tease him to try and cheer him up a bit. He said, "Hey we were just fucking talking about ye. She thinks I fucking need a boyfriend and girlfriend. Apparently Clara thinks I'm not getting enough fucking sex and thinks we all should fucking jump into the sack together to fucking compensate since I'm such a fucking nymphomaniac. Or that ye should take turns fucking me. Ye know Clara should make a fucking weekly chart of who's fucking me each night so I'm not in the wrong bed on the wrong day because I'm also getting senile and will forget who I'm supposed to fucking be with each night. What do ye think about that?" He said it with such a straight face that Mathew actually believed him. The look on Mathew's face when he just realized what Malcolm had implied and then when he spit out the water he was about to swallow in shock was priceless. Clara was shaking against his leg trying to keep from laughing her ass off.

Mathew spit out his water in shock at the blatant suggestion of him and Clara having a 3 some with Malcolm or taking turns sleeping with the older man. Even though he'd known for a long time he was adopted before their parents knew they could have children he still found it a weird and queasy idea to sleep with her. He was raised with her as his sister. It just sounds too weird. He couldn't deny he was very attracted to the older man but he had to be joking. If his sister had been willing to share Malcolm he might have considered it but he still had the mess with David to sort out anyway. Besides he doubted Malcolm even liked guys nor any interest in him anyway. He coughed, "You've got to be joking. First I can't see Clara sharing you with anyone let alone her own brother. A threesome is one thing but a threesome with my sister? eww. Even if I am adopted. That's just is....really not appealing."

Malcolm joked, "Oh come on. Surely the idea of having me as the meat in the Oswald sandwich has a little appeal. Besides who said ye had to fucking fuck yer sister? That's my job. Yers would be ta fuck me, bowtie boy. Clara wouldn't fucking need ta order those anal bead to that big fucking dildo I showed her."

Mathew gasped, "Wait...Are you saying that you...."He had never expected Malcolm to be that forward about his likes in the bedroom. Although the older man is now a mix of who he used to be and who Clara knows intimately. So he couldn't really say that his new friend wouldn't joke about sex.

Malcolm replied, "Like being fucked up the arse? Aye. That must have been why I stayed in fucking politics so fucking long. Although I fucking prefer to have it done in the fucking bedroom instead of fucking national television. Well..Enough banter about that. It's making me fucking horny. What's for dinner, my Clara?" He diced that was enough teasing Mathew for now. He wasn't ashamed to admit the younger man was rather attractive desirable in his own way but unless Clara pushed him in Mathew's direction he'd never consider the possibility. He had no fucking idea what had even triggered that thought in Clara head. It was true he did feel protective of the younger man but he had a feeling he was going to endlessly teases about having a s gay man staying with them and him liking cock the whole time Mathew was staying with them. He had learned Clara was very good at teasing banter. But he was the master at it. He's perfected the straight faced banter so no one can tell if you are serious or teasing. Another gift that he learned from his years as a spin doctor.

Clara couldn't believe the 3 of them had just had an intimate conversation about having a 3 some with Mathew. Although Malcolm did owe her for teasing him earlier. She was finding that he could easily hide his embarrassment and insecurity behind banter. He was also very good at giving back whatever he got from someone else. She replied, "Well...I hope roast beef with gravy and mashed potatoes works." She got up to wash the new plates and set 3 places at the table before pulling the roast out of the oven where she had been keeping it warm until now. She put everything on the table and called, "Dinner's ready boys!"

Malcolm didn't feel very well today and when he thought about it he hadn't really felt well for quite a while. He had just been ignoring how he bad he felt and now it was getting worse. He wasn't hungry and only ate an acceptable amount of his dinner when Clara ordered him. When dinner was over he washed, dried and put the dishes away before he went outside for another cigarette. He decided to take a walk and only got about a block before he started coughing and collapsed to his knees until he was able to breathe again even if it was wheezing. He had noticed he had been coughing more lately and felt like someone was fucking standing on his chest. He eventually made it back home only going inside when he could breathe normally again. He found he wasn't very good at climbing stairs tonight either. He ran out of strength when he was halfway up the stairs and had to text Mathew to help him get upstairs. He rasped, "Where's Clara?"

Mathew replied, "In the kitchen cleaning the stove. Why?"

Malcolm rasped, "Dont....want...her....to..see...me...like...this." When they finally reached the top of the stairs he gasped, "Bed."

Mathew managed to get Malcolm to his bed and after he pulled the covers down he helped him so he didn't fall down. He got him laying down and covered up. He placed his palm against the older man's forehead and cheeks. He stammered, "Malcolm? I'm really getting worried. You're hacking up a lung, can't climb the stairs and are burning up. You need to see a doctor. You are apparently very ill."

Malcolm rasped, "Tomorrow....ye....take...me...Don't want....Clara.....to....know." He rolled onto his side and started coughing again.

Mathew knelt by the bed and ran his fingers through Malcolm's hair to try and comfort him. He was terrified that something major was wrong with the older man. He said, "Why me of all people? Why not Clara?"

Malcolm wheezed, "You.....know. She....don't......need.....more.. Worries.....too....much.....about....me."

Mathew stammered, "But she's going to know if you are still like this when she comes to bed. No offense but you sound like you're dying."

Malcolm wheezed, "Fuckin'.......ray....of......sunshine......ye are." He finally faded off to sleep because he was to fucking tired to fight with fucking bowtie boy anymore right now.

Mathew didn't want to piss of Malcolm but he had to tell Clara. He went downstairs and he found her in the living room watching TV. 

Clara asked, "Have you seen Malcolm? Last I knew he went out for a cigarette."

Mathew sat next to her on the sofa and took hold of her hand. He said, "Clara...Malcolm's in bed.....He seems to be quite ill. He started coughing bad this afternoon but when he came back a little while ago from his walk he...he couldn't even make it up the stairs. I practically had to carry him. I'm going to drag him to the doctor's in the morning. He didn't want you to know...He's probably going to be cross with me for telling you."

Clara sighed, "He's probably going to try and castrate you but I'll deal with him. It's not right he did that but he hates it when I see him weak. Also we are supposed to go back to work tomorrow. He knows I always worry because I'm afraid of losing him because he doesn't take care of himself. He needs a bloody babysitter. Come on." She went upstairs with Matty in tow and she had to admit Malcolm looked like hell and was burning up when she touched his head. She sighed, "God dammit, Pepper. Matty, find me a bowl and washrag. Put cold water in the bowl and bring them both to me."

Mathew ran and found a big bowl, got the cold water and washrag. He ran back to the other man's room and amazingly didn't fall or drop the bowl. He was a bit of a klutz but he was lucky tonight. Clara showed him how to use the rag to cool off Malcolm's over heated skin. He spent most of the night patting Malcolm's face with the cool rag until the water was warm. Clara had to go to work in the morning so relied on him to take care of the older man. She was sleeping next to Malcolm and woke up every so often when the older man started shivering and mumbling in his sleep.


	26. Ronnie Pilfrey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Malcolm's cousin comes to help

Mathew was really getting worried and started crying because he had found a friend that didn't judge him or hate him for his faults and now he may lose him. He tried to wake the older man to get him to the doctor but he couldn't even rouse him.  
Clara called Malcolm's cousin, Ronnie Pilfrey. She knew he'd come to the house to look at Malcolm. He had recently got his own practice in London but he had been Malcolm's physician since he became a doctor. She didn't talk to him directly but was promised the message would be forwarded. She had never talked to or even met Ronnie yet but he's the only doctor Malcolm would allow in his house. Malcolm once told her Ronnie was the only person he trusted with his life. She figured he'd tell them if Malcolm had to go to the hospital. She was panicking inside but tried to remain calm for Matty's sake because he brother never was very good at staying calm. She had seen Matty crying a few times since he came down and told her about Malcolm. He had always gotten attached very quickly to people and he was quite attached and worried about Malcolm. She even believed he might love Malcolm as well although it did start out as hero worship. She informed Ronnie's nurse that her Bother was staying with Malcolm and she had to go to work. She hated to leave Malcolm but she knew Matty would take good care of him. 

Mathew was still mopping Malcolm's forehead with the washrag when he heard the doorbell ring. He squeezed Malcolm's hand and said, "I'll be right back." He lightly kissed Malcolm's forehead and ran down the stairs. When he opened it he was surprised to find a younger version of the man he had just left upstairs. The man had curly wild hair like Malcolm's only it was light brown with blue eyes. He was wearing a gray suit and a violet dress shirt with a dark purple tie and carrying a doctor's bag. He just was having a hard time getting past the uncanny resemblance.

Ronnie had never met Clara or her brother but Malcolm had mentioned her the last time he had seen his cousin. He finished his patients as soon as he could and ran to Malcolm's house. When the door opened his heart about stopped. He had been infatuated with Estelle Slippery but this was different. He had always preferred men to women but slept with both over the years. Malcolm was his opposite preferring women to men but they were both Bisexual. The young man standing in the doorway was probably in his 30's, a little shorter than him, a less lanky build than himself but thin, had floppy brown hair in a coif, and a full square like face that had bags under beautiful puppy dog brown eyes. The most interesting thing about him though was that he was a wearing Victorian style clothing complete with waist coat, pocket watch, and a bloody bowtie. He had to admit the purple knee length overcoat and lighter purple waistcoat with the brown pants, leather boots and purple polka dot bowtie looked good on him. He finally snapped back to reality and said, "I'm Dr. Ronnie Pilfrey. I'm her ta see Malcolm Tucker. I assume ye are Clara's Brother?"

Mathew could believe it. This doctor and Malcolm's voices were almost identical. The only difference was that Malcolm's had a more raspy gravel like quality to it. He was assuming it's from years of smoking. He even had the same Scottish accent. He snapped out of his daydream and replied, "Yes. Sorry. Mathew Oswald. Malcolm is in bed upstairs."

Ronnie followed Mathew to Malcolm's room and checked his cousin over. He asked, "Symptoms?"

Mathew replied, "Oh uh. Raspy dry cough that had him bent over in pain, shortness of breath, fever, Fatigue, Chills, wheezing, and from what it looked like he may be having chest pain. Oh Clara also mentioned a rapid heartbeat."

Ronnie sighed, "Malcolm never takes care of himself. He's as stubborn as an ox. He has a tendency to ignore what is wrong with him until he collapses. I believe Malcolm has Pneumonia. I will call in a heavy duty antibiotic, cough medicine and an inhaler which the later he will probably refuse to use but I have to try. I will come back with them in a couple of hours after I run some errands. He will probably be down for a couple of weeks. Is there anyone who can stay and take care of him until he is well enough to be left alone?"

Mathew replied, "I'll stay with him. I know Clara wants to be with him now but school just started back and they need her. Malcolm is their caretaker but I think they can replace him for a couple of weeks."

Malcolm was in and out of consciousness but happened to be in it when he heard Mathew talking to someone. He rasped, "Bowtie boy? Who?"

Ronnie bent over Malcolm and replied, "Hello cousin. How are ye feeling?"

Malcolm rasped, "Like fucking shit. How do ye think I feel ye fucking wanker?"

Ronnie shook his head and replied, "Maybe next time ye will come see me before ye "feel like fucking shit" eh? It's not my fault ye have a death wish. From what I can tell ye have pneumonia. Ye are going ta be out of commission for about two weeks at least."

Malcolm rasped, "No death wish. Not anymore. Clara."

Ronnie replied, "Ye should be fine as long as ye take the medicine I called in to treat it. Which reminds me have ye had yer morning meds?" He got a shake of the head before going to get a glass of water and his cousin's pills from the drawer in the kitchen. When he got back to the bedroom he knelt on the bed and helped Malcolm sit up enough t take the pills and then gently laid him down again after the glass of water was finished. He went downstairs and found three weekly pillboxes before going to Malcolm's room. He found the box Malcolm kept his bottles of pills in and made a mental note to call them all in as well. He then filled the pillboxes for three weeks. He usually came once a month to do this for Malcolm unless the older man brought everything when he had an appointment. He had been doing this for his cousin for about 10 years which was about the time his job started affecting his health. He was very happy when Malcolm was no longer working at Number 10 because he could tell his cousin was on his way to a heart attack or stroke from all the stress. He asked, "Do ye know about his medications?"

Mathew replied, "No. I wasn't even aware he took any. Clara might but she was in a hurry this morning."

Ronnie sighed, "It's fine. Malcolm can I tell him about yer pills? He will be the one taking care of ye right now."

Malcolm rasped, "Fine. Clara knows I take them."

Ronnie sighed, "He won't die if he misses one does but it doesn't help any." So he took him to the kitchen and proceeded to tell him every detail about how Malcolm takes his pills and the usual times he takes them every day. He said, "I fill the previous three boxes for him once a month sometime during the last week he has of pills. If I don't get here until his 4th box is almost empty I fill it as well but I usually try to get her in the beginning of that week. I've done them for ten years and it started because Malcolm never had time to take his pills if he had to mess with bottles. Malcolm would never take them if he had to do the boxes and he'd take the wrong meds if he used the bottles. Now I do it because his mind isn't as sharp as it used to be and he forgets things like if he took his pills. He overdosed a couple of times when I hadn't been able to get her on time to do the boxes. He has mild vascular dementia but he hides it very well but every once and a while you may see him lose his temper for no reason. The reason is he is frustrated because he forgot something. I haven't even told him he has it because it would just cause him more anxiety than he needs right now. He's on a medication to help hold it off longer. It so far has halted the progression so he is no different than he was 5 years ago. I also never told him what triggered it was a series of mini strokes. Combine that with high blood pressure and smoking and it increases the risks. I was so relieved when he was finally out of Number 10. He was on his way to a massive stroke if he hadn't gotten out of there. I didn't want to lose my best friend and cousin because of ploitics." He had moved into the hall and turned around when he heard the door open. He saw the surprised look on The 5'1" tall woman's face. He knew it was because of his uncanny resemblance to his cousin. He held out his hand and said, "Ronnie Pilfrey. Ye must be Clara. It's nice to finally meet the lovely woman who stole my crabby cousin's heart. Every time I've seen him since he met ye he has not stopped talking about his beloved Clara."

Clara replied, "Sorry. Forgive me for staring but you and Malcolm could be twins if you weren't younger than him. You even sound almost like him."

Ronnie chuckled, "If Malcolm hadn't chained smoked and yelled at people most of his life we would sound the same. We did for many years until he had damaged his voice box to from smoking like a chimney and yelling. You will find in many ways we're are the same and in others we are very different. Your brother can give you a recap but in short....Malcolm seems to have pneumonia and I have called in meds to treat it. I will bring them over in a couple of hours. I will put them in his pill boxes so he'll take them with his morning and evening meds."

Clara gasped, "Oh shit. I'm sorry I forgot to tell you Matty. He usually takes them himself unless he asks me to fetch them."

Ronnie replied, "It's all right, Clara. I gave him his morning meds when I got her this morning. Just try to make sure he gets the rest of them on time. Mathew can explain about the boxes and that I fill them. I shall see ye both later." He picked up his bag and left wondering if Mathew was single and interested in men. When he dropped off the new medications he went up and gave Malcolm the first dose and evening pills. He asked, "Do you know if Mathew is interested in men or single, Malcolm?"

Malcolm started a laugh that turned into a cough before rasping, "Ye afraid to ask him yerself? He's a fucking pussy poof who's having a falling out with his gobshite boyfriend. I mean that in a fond way by the way. I'm quite fond of that bowtie wearing pussy. He's a very sensitive and fucking sweet bastard. Anything else ye can ask him yerself. I'm tired."

Ronnie asked, "Are ye interested in him?"

Malcolm rasped, "Not enough to fight ye for him. Besides I have Clara now and she is my world."

Ronnie replied, "OK. Thanks."

Malcolm rasped, "He needs a Knight in Shining Armor. Can ye be that?"

Ronnie sighed, "I can try."

Malcolm rasped, "Ye need me to teach ye?"

Ronnie chuckled, "Maybe when ye are feeling better."

Malcolm rasped, "Aye, now fuck the fuck off."

Ronnie replied, "All right ye could use the sleep. Love ye too. At least ye seem to be feeling a little better. You're bantering again. Take yer meds like ye supposed too and I'll come check on ye in a few days." Ronnie had gotten very used to Malcolm's abrasive nature and how to tell when the older man was angry or just bantering. It worked for them because he didn't get offended by Malcolm after years of practice. Between them Malcolm telling him to fuck off meant I love you. Malcolm had never been very good at actually saying "I love you" like he was able to himself. Malcolm's job and life had made the older man emotionally distant. Ronnie's on the other hand allowed him to be more in touch with his emotions and the ability to admit them. He had his own issues like the almost psychotic mental breakdown he had a couple of years ago. He still had mental breakdowns but now it doesn't happen at work anymore and they are not as bad one he had work. Now it was just the occasional emotional breakdowns that had him sobbing in despair.

Malcolm smirked and rasped, "Aye. Thanks. Fuckity bye, Ronnie." He was happy with just having Clara. Ronnie has been so lonely because of his unpredictable hypomania and Mathew was a nice boy. He thought that they might be a good match. That's if the gobshite decides not to stick around. He had liked David but Mathew is to kind and sweet a boy to have to deal with someone controlling him like David wants too. He trusted Ronnie to take care of the boy and respect him. Yeah at times Ronnie acted like an oversexed flirting letch but under that mask he really was a loving, caring and devoted man. That's one of the biggest things they had in common. They both hid who they really were behind a mask to hide their true feelings. Ronnie's walls were just easier to break down than his own because his cousin didn't constantly live with cunts trying to break through them for as long as he had to deal with it. Ronnie like him needed someone he could trust not to destroy him emotional and mentally. Both of them in their own teetered on a precipice and the wrong person could send them over the edge. He thought Mathew might be who Ronnie needs to keep him grounded just like he needed Clara. He eventually dropped off back to sleep.


	27. Malcolm's Recovering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Malcolm feels better and Mathew is a sweet guy.

Three weeks Malcolm was almost back to his normal miserable self again. He was really getting fucking sick of being stuck in bed except to eat and go to the bathroom. He wasn't used to sitting still and it was making him very miserable. Mathew and Clara wouldn't even let him go outside and he hadn't had a fucking cigarette in 3 fucking weeks and that didn't help his mood any. He was constantly snapping at both of them and telling them to fuck off if they weren't going to let him get out of bed. Underneath it all he knew it wasn't their fault because it was doctor's orders. The "doctor" was going to get the bollocking of a lifetime for making them keep him cooped up in his room for 3 weeks straight. He loved Ronnie but the fucking bastard knew he couldn't stand sitting still. He was unconscious most of the first week, still sleeping a lot the send but now he couldn't stand "bed rest" anymore. When Ronnie got there he was in a very rotten mood and frustrated as hell. He yelled, "E-fucking-nough, Ronnie! I am sick and fucking tired of being stuck in bed ye fucking cunt! Ye had better fucking tell those two wardens I got that I can get out of this fucking bed and fucking move around in my own house or I will fucking castrate ye and shove yer fucking bollocks up yer fucking arse before lopping of yer fucking dick and beating ye repeatedly with it. Now get the FUCK out of my room right now, ye massive gay SHITE!" Then he threw everything at him he could reach while watching him duck as he dodged the missives. He got some satisfaction over Ronnie's hair, suit and shirt being soaked with water and flopped back down on the bed.

Mathew had been in his bedroom on the phone with David when he heard Malcolm's harsh voice ripping someone apart. What fascinated him was how Ronnie ran out of the room when water glasses, pill bottles and a vase with wilted flowers in it just missed him by inches because he ducked just in time for it to hit the wall in front of him spraying with water and shards as they shattered. He told David he had to go and hung up. He ran out and started trying to brush the shards out of Ronnie's hair and stammered, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry about your suit. He's been terrible lately."

Ronnie just smiled and replied, "Thanks for the help but may I just have a comb and a towel? Ye haven't got to apologize for Malcolm. I'm used to it. This is why I am the only doctor who can stand him. He's ruined a few suits of mine over the years. I can't really complain as he bought me a few of them. I actually expected him to be lobbing things at me a week ago. He never was a very good patient. That's why I usually come to his home instead of admitting him unless I have no choice. He's never been a very patient man with being sick. He's terrorized the nurses at the hospital so much that they won't come near him unless he's comatose. If it wasn't illegal they would have had tied him down. He's always had a violent temper I'm afraid. I guess ye can let him move about the house but I still don't want him going outside for a few more days." He was liking Mathew's hands in his hair too much and he was afraid he'd do something stupid if he didn't stop the younger man from touching him. He saw the hurt look on the younger man's face before brightening at the mention of a towel and comb. He found he really loved Mathew's outfits. Today the younger man was wearing a brown Victorian coat to his knees, pants, socks (no shoes) and a lighter brown silk waistcoat with a brown polka dot bowtie. The younger man always wore his gold pocket watch with his waistcoats. He noticed that Mathew was more nervous than usual and finally said, "What's bothering ye, Mathew?"

Mathew sighed, "It's not..your problem....David....my husband called....He wants to talk but I....don't want to go alone....Malcolm went with me last time....David can be pushy and I'm....a pussy."

Ronnie gently replied, "Aye. Malcolm has mentioned it. If ye want I can go with ye after I get out of the clinic. I'm not...as vulgar or domineering as he is but I won't let David push ye around if that's what ye need. If Malcolm considers ye family than I do as well." He was surprised when Mathew wrapped his arms around his waist and hugged him. He let his own hands settle on his shoulder and back. He could get used to having this man in his arms and felt a depressing loss when Mathew released him and backed away. 

Mathew blushed and replied, " I can't thank you enough, Dr. Pilfrey."

Ronnie smiled and replied, "Ye don't have to thank me but.....ye could at least call me Ronnie."

Mathew smiled, "OK...Ronnie." He liked this man quite a lot and it wasn't just because of his resemblance to Malcolm. He loved Malcolm but this slightly younger version of his brother-in-law was calmer, friendlier, and more cheerful. He also didn't seem to mind affectionate gestures from people other than Clara. He also seemed to be more easy going but had the same odd wicked sense of humor. He was also less harsh and blunt than Malcolm is with him. After Ronnie left he went to check on Malcolm who was still irate. He stammered, "Ronnie said you can move about the house but you need to stay inside."

Malcolm ground out, "About fucking time. First fucking thing I'm going ta do is take a fucking shower and change. Alone if ye don't mind." He was a little wobbly on his feet but he managed to get a change of clothes and into the bathroom. 

Mathew asked, "Could you at least leave the door open? Just in case you fall and need help. I promise I won't come in unless you call me."

Malcolm sighed, "Fine. Fuck the fuck off unless I need ye, okay?" He watched Mathew nod before leaving and eventually managed to wash up, shave and dry off. He knew Mathew was probably hovering a little ways down the hall. Underneath it all he knew the boy was only trying to help but with how much the boy had been hovering over him the last 3 weeks he was feeling smothered. Then Clara comes home and does the same fucking thing only she sleeps with him and as much as he needs her in his bed anymore to sleep there have been days he wished she'd just go to her apartment for a few days. When he finally got dressed back in his holey jumper and fleece polka dot pants he slowly made his way downstairs to find Mathew in the kitchen making him lunch and tea. He had to admit Mathew would make someone a good wife. He didn't mean that as an insult just how he looked at it. Mathew was domestic, excellent cook, cleans house, does the laundry and took care of, fed him, gave him his pills, changed his clothes, and bathed his fucking ass for 3 weeks. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He owed the boy a lot for putting up with his cranky wrinkled old ass abusing him for 3 weeks. He sat at the kitchen table where Mathew had set his lunch and took his hand and had him sit down before he said, "Mathew? I owe ye an apology. Ye've been fucking taking care of me and all I've fucking been doing is treating ye like shit. Ye got fucking got stuck doing it because I fucking ignored that I was ill. Ye got it dumped on ye to take care of a fucking middle aged fuck that did nothing but bitch and yell at ye. I'm sorry ye had to do it...... I hate people seeing me completely fucking helpless.....I'm not used to.....being fucking taken care of by anyone..... Bathing me must have been horrible. I'm not a pretty sight under these. I wanted ye to know I do fucking appreciate it even though I have a fucking rotten way of showing it. Thank ye for putting up with me."

Mathew squeezed Malcolm's hand and replied, "First of all, Malcolm. I didn't get stuck taking care of you. I volunteered too because you are a good man under that cactus like personality. As for your body I probably shouldn't admit this but I find you actually quite attractive without your clothes on. I have to agree with Clara that you are way too hard on yourself about your looks. So you don't look like a young man anymore, so what? You are a very handsome man of 56 and if you weren't with my sister I'd be proud to be your lover if you were interested that is anyway.. Yes you were a bit verbally abusive but after a while I realized that was your way of dealing with your embarrassment at being taken care of and bathed by an openly gay man who happens to be your lover's brother. I want you to know that even though you have no interest in me I do love you very much. I'm not telling you to make you feel obligated to return it. I just want you to know that I took care of you because I love you and I wanted too. Now please eat your lunch, Malcolm. You've lost to much weight and you need to gain it back."

Malcolm got a stricken look on his face and whispered, "I'm sorry. I do care for ye, Mathew but as family. Not like I care for Clara." He felt a kiss on the top of his head and sighed. Over the last 3 weeks he had gotten to Mathew touching him literally everywhere even his privates because even they had to be washed ever now and then. When he started getting his strength back he tried to do them himself but he tired easily. Mathew never made a fuss and just took over without a word. He was grateful for the boy winding up in his house when he did. Eventually he had noticed Mathew's gestures of affection. Kiss on the forehead or top of his head here, holding his hand there, squeezing his shoulder. He was too sick to react at first and his walls were down but later he came to like them. Mathew was a very affectionate man to those he cared about. Bowtie boy had wormed his way in his heart and now he did love him but more like a son or brother rather than a lover. He adored Clara but if it wasn't for Mathew being here he would have had to be in hospital. So if Mathew wanted give him his affection than he would welcome it and let the boy be affectionate with him. Maybe he could even return it once in a while. 

Mathew lightly kissed the top of Malcolm's head and replied, "That's all right. You don't have too. I'm just glad you do care and are willing to give me whatever you do."

Malcolm replied, "Thank ye. Mo ionmhuin Balach." It fit how he felt about Mathew. He loved him like the son he never had and probably never will. He wasn't sure if Clara would ever want children with a man so much older than she was and to some degree that made him sad. He would have liked to be able to have children but if they didn't have any he'd have to accept that. He was too old really to have children anyway. He wasted the years he should have been raising a family at Number 10 and that was his fault. That was a major difference between him and Ronnie. Ronnie was perfectly happy without having a family. He only desired some who loved him unconditionally. While Malcolm needed Clara but would have loved to have children.  
Mathew asked, "That's pretty. It's Scottish right? What's it mean? I know the first part you call Clara all the time."

Malcolm sadly replied, "Aye. Mo ionmhuin Balach. My beloved boy."

Mathew knelt beside Malcolm and hugged him. He tightly replied, "You're welcome." He didn't usually like being called a boy but he could make an exception for Malcolm because it was part of a special name for just him. Before he stood up he lightly kissed Malcolm's cheek before taking the dishes to wash and put a way. He watched Malcolm slowly shuffle to the sofa in the living room and lay down. He went in and sat on the floor next to the sofa drawing. After a few minutes he felt the older man's long thin fingers come to rest on his shoulder. He smiled at his friend and got a tired smile in return before Malcolm's eyes slid shut and he fell asleep. He remembered Clara telling him that The older man wasn't always as accepting of affection and being touched as he is now. He had figured out that the only people he allowed to touch him were him, Clara, and Ronnie. Him and Clara were the only two he accepted affection from so far. He turn enough to run his fingers over the older man's wild curly locks and smiled a little when Malcolm sighed in his sleep. He rested his head against the older man's belly and nodded off himself.


	28. David Wants a Divorce

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ronnie goes with Mathew to see David

Clara got home from work and was surprised to find Ronnie pulling up right behind her. She opened the door and put a finger to her lips to tell Ronnie to be quit while she got her camera and took a picture of Malcolm and Mathew.

Ronnie came in right behind Clara and kept quiet for Clara but he had to admit he had a slight feeling of jealousy at the image in the living room. Malcolm was fast asleep laying on the sofa on his side in a semi-fetal position and one hand was pulled in against his chest while the other rested on Mathew's shoulder. Mathew was sideways against the sofa with his head resting against Malcolm's belly and his knees up against his chest and a hand resting on Malcolm's curls. Malcolm was in that holey shirt, striped socks and polka dot fleece pants while Mathew was wearing the brown Victorian outfit he had on that morning minus the coat. It really was a cute picture he had to admit. Although he wished it was his hair and belly Mathew was resting against.  
After Clara got a couple of pictures she woke Mathew up as quietly as possible and whispered, "Ronnie's here. Said you are supposed to go with him to see David."

Mathew saw Ronnie standing by one of the arm chairs and was surprised by the intense stare directed in their direction. He was guessing Ronnie came directly from work because he was wearing the same gray suit and lavender shirt he was wearing that morning minus the black and gray striped tie. Ronnie also had unbuttoned the top three buttons of his shirt. He got on his knees and lightly kissed Malcolm's cheek before standing to get his coat. He said, "He's allowed to putter around the house but he's still tiring easily. He needs dinner and his evening pills yet. I'll be back tonight regardless of what David has to say. Malcolm still needs me right now and I'm not going to leave until he's well again."

Malcolm coughed and called, "Mathew? Mo ionmhuin Balach? Where are ye going?"

Mathew came back over to the sofa and knelt on the floor again and ran his fingers over the older man's temple. He replied, "I have to go talk to David. I'll be back as soon as that done"

Malcolm rasped, "What if the fucking little gobshite convinces ye to stay? I should fucking go with ye. "

Mathew replied, "It's all right. Ronnie's going with me to make sure I come back, ok?"

Malcolm chuckled before coughing. He croaked, "The fucking balaclava is better than nothing I guess. Ye make sure he comes home Ronnie or I'll beat ye with a fucking frying pan next time I see your fucking arse." He grabbed Mathew's hand and squeezed it before letting go. 

Ronnie replied, "He'll get home safe I promise. No need to beat me." He sighed as he waited for Mathew to finish getting ready to go. When they got out of the house he asked, "Ye are his beloved boy? She is his beloved Clara? Aye , believe or not I do speak some Gaelic. Malcolm's mam refuses to speak English to her kin and we have to speak in Gaelic. My mam had me spending a lot of time with Malcolm so he taught me it. I'm a little rusty but I remember most of it." He got in the passenger side of Mathew's car. It was in good condition even though it was an older model.

Mathew blushed as he got in his Purple 1990's Volkswagen and replied, "He gave it to me today but I'm more like family. Clara is his true love. I....love him but he doesn't feel the same way but that's all right because he's happy and Clara is as well. Clara is very good for him and he trusts her completely. I'm happy they both found their soul mate. I haven't yet for as much as I love David I have a feeling it will not last. We are a bad match because I am like a hippie and he's to controlling for me to be happy indefinitely. Hope you didn't mind taking my car. I just know the neighborhood and your lovely car would kind of stick out."

Ronnie chuckled, "No problem. It's a nice car. I congratulate ye on how good a condition ye keep it in. Yer car is fine for short trips but if we ever go on a long trip together we're taking my car. It's more comfortable for a man of my height. It still amuses me how Malcolm can drive his little Mazda with his long legs." Only minor problem was his height of 6 feet. His legs were a little too long to fit comfortably but it was manageable for a short drive.

Mathew replied, "OK." He love to go on a trip with Ronnie but he didn't think the older man had any interest in him like Malcolm. Not that he could really blame him. Ronnie is a well established physician and he was just a talented but unimportant portrait artist in a messed up relationship with a owner of a bookstore. Ronnie was higher class than he was and older than him. He probably wasn't even interested in men anyway. He shouldn't even be thinking about it anyway. He was still a married man although he had a feeling it wouldn't be for much longer. When he got to the apartment he shared with David he led the way to the door and knocked. He felt Ronnie's hand gently pressing against his back as a comforting gesture. When the door opened he said, "David. You wanted to talk?"

David opened the door and saw Matty and behind him looked like Malcolm. He sighed, "I see ye brought yer boyfriend again. Honestly ye are a such a pansy, Matty. While I find the fact that ye don't have a mean bone in yer body endearing at times I also find it annoying." He muttered in Gaelic and that was his first mistake.

Ronnie had been surprised that the man Malcolm was a afraid Mathew would bend to was short and far skinnier than Mathew, wore suit with chucks and a Scotsman. So Mathew likes Scotsmen. Maybe he'd have a chance after all if this one does stay in the way. He heard what David had said under his breath and said, "If ye are going ta be saying things like that about Mathew I'd prefer if he could hear it in his own language. It's not very appropriate to call your husband a "fucking two-timing whore" when ye have no proof."

David yelled, "Well why else would he be so happy at yer place?"

Ronnie coldly replied, "First I am not Malcolm Tucker. My name is Ronnie ye dumb bastard. Second from what I have been told ye practically threw him out and my cousin was good enough to take him in. From what I have gotten to know about Mathew he's a very loving, kind and caring man. Ye are a fool if ye don't love him and respect him. There are not many good men around like him. Now get to the point. You remind me of a balaclava. Practically useless but always there until ye don't need it."  
David yelled, "Oooohhhh so which one of them are ye sleeping with Matty? Malcolm? Ronnie? Or maybe both. They both look almost identical except this one looks younger and fatter than the other one."

Mathew sighed, "I'm not sleeping with either of them you idiot. Leave Ronnie out of this. Ignore him, Ronnie. He's so skinny everyone looks fat to him." He noticed Ronnie button his suit jacket to cover his round belly and the look on his face told him Ronnie was sensitive about his weight. That was one of the things he liked about Ronnie. His belly was more noticeable and rounder than Malcolm's was when he got ill. Ronnie's face was also a bit fuller and he had slight double chin. He also was attracted to Ronnie's plumper ass as well. He clasped his hand gently around Ronnie's arm.

Ronnie had to admit the little shit was pretty good at reading people. His weight had been a sore spot for a while. The medications he took to try and control his hypomania and depression had made him gain weight around his middle and face. Now he has a fuller face that helped keep him from getting as many age lines as Malcolm but he also had a soft round belly that stuck out over his belt by about 4 inches or so. Malcolm could hid his smaller belly under jumpers but he couldn't because he had to wear suits all the time. The only real saving grace was that it might be soft but it wasn't saggy.

David finally said, "I've thought about this and ye know what? As much as I hate to admit it we are to different, Matty. Ye are a hippie and I'm the total opposite. Ye are an artist and prefer to starve than get a normal job. I need ye to get a normal job. I'm sorry Matty but I think we should get a divorce. I don't have any bad feelings fer ye but I know if this continues we will hate each other. That and I think ye all ready know ye found yer soul mate and it's not me. Like yer sister ye never liked young handsome men. Ye also never liked that I don't have any meat on my bones so it's no wonder ye moved on. I hope yer next relationship works out for ye better than we did."

Mathew sighed, "Fine. If that's what you want David. You're probably right it is for the best. I don't hate you either but I know I can't deal with this anymore. I wish you luck as well. I will get my things out of here for you. Since you asked for the divorce will you take care of the paperwork. I'll sign it when you need me too."

David replied, "Aye. Fine. I'll let ye know when I need ye to sign it."

Mathew replied, "Thank you. I'm going to pack my things." 

David watched Matty go into their bedroom to pack and turned to Ronnie. He said, "I'm not stupid. I noticed the attraction between ye and I know Matty's attracted to Malcolm. If he's not sleeping with him it's because his sister is his soul mate. Ye one the other hand.....ye are obviously attracted to him."

Ronnie replied, "Ye might remember he's married ta ye beside he wouldn't be interested in me anyway."

David laughed, "Oooohooo. What is with yer family? Ye all think ye are unattractive or something? Fer what it worth ye are exactly his type. Tall, old, fat, Scottish, and starting to go gray. Ye can trust me on that one. I know him quite well and have often wondered why he was even with me because I am not his type. The only thing I had was being Scottish. If ye want him I'd suggest ye get him before someone else does. Hell I'll even give ye my blessing."

Ronnie was even more confused because first David was accusing him of sleeping with Mathew and now he was telling him to seduce him? What the fuck?? He heard Mathew call him to help him pack the car. He helped him carry an easel, boxes full of oil paints, clothes, and various other knick knacks. Then he helped him lug them up to his room at Malcolm's house. He sat down on Mathew's bed while the younger man unpacked his clothes to put them in the closet. He walked downstairs to talk to Clara and Malcolm who was awake. Clara was sitting on the sofa facing the TV and Malcolm was laying facing the TV with his head on her lap. He sighed, "I guess I'll get going home."

Mathew looked up and noticed Ronnie was gone. He ran downstairs yelling, "Ronnie?" he finally skidded to a stop by the sofa almost falling over the back of it into Malcolm's lap head first. He was so glad he hadn't missed him leaving. He said, "Sorry, Malcolm. I turned around and you had left. Why? Did I do or say something wrong? You didn't even say goodbye."

Ronnie was surprised when Mathew ran down the stairs and almost flipped over the sofa calling his name. He replied, "No. Ye didn't. I just thought ye were busy and I should leave ta do yer thing. I didn't want to bother ye. I.." Whatever he was about to say died on his lips and Mathew gave him a hug and a kiss on his cheek."

Mathew gave Ronnie a kiss on the cheek and a hug. He said, "Thank you for going with me and helping me, Ronnie. Call me if you like." He then held up his cell phone number that he had written on a piece of paper. He usually wasn't this forward. He was used to being the one chased after but he really liked Ronnie and was hoping he didn't just make a complete fool out of himself. He sighed with relieve when the older man hesitantly took the paper from his hand. The older man looked shocked and didn't say no at any rate.

Ronnie was completely shocked when Mathew gave him his phone number but as the shock wore of he felt himself hesitantly smile. He then got in his car and drove home a little more light hearted. Now if he could just remember how to be seductive without being creepy.

Mathew told Clara and Malcolm that David wanted a divorce and asked if he could stay until he found his own place. He smiled when Malcolm told him to stay indefinitely if he wanted too. It wasn't like he wasn't doing something helpful in return for staying. He did everything Clara didn't have time to do and Malcolm didn't want to do. He thanked them and headed off to bed.


	29. Some Alone Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Malcolm and Clara finally get a little alone time
> 
> Meanings  
> \--------  
> Mo ionmhuin - My beloved  
> Mi gràdh thu - I love you  
> deagh oidhche - Good Night  
> eudail - Sweetheart

Malcolm was very glad when Ronnie gave him a clear bill of health and he could back to work. He was so fucking board of a month stuck at home. He was very busy doing the stuff the temporary caretaker refused to do. He had sat down on the stool in front of his workbench and just started fixing things. He hadn't even realized that lunch had come and gone until he looked up to see Clara standing in front of him tapping her foot. He said, "Mo ionmhuin, my Clara."

Clara scolded, "Don't you, my Clara, me, Malcolm Dougan Tucker."

Malcolm winced because the only time Clara would use his whole name was when she was pissed off at him about something. He sighed and put down the screwdriver he was holding on the workbench and asked, "All right. What the fuck did I do?"

Clara scolded, "You neglected to tell me you were coming to work. I found out from Henry Black of all people that you were her. Then you didn't come to go to lunch with me at lunch time. I'm sure that means you didn't eat anything for lunch and I recently found out you didn't eat anything for breakfast so that means you haven't eaten all day. You lost so much weight while you were ill...you look like a bloody skeleton again. You look like hell. Just because you are well again doesn't mean you should work yourself into the ground and start skipping meals again. Dammit, Malcolm. If we don't chase after you and force you to you don't eat. In case you forgot we love you and worry about you. We are trying to take care of you because you obviously are incapable of doing it yourself but you fight us every step of the way. You are such a stupid asshole sometimes!"

Malcolm took his glasses off and set them down next to the screwdriver before scrubbing his hand over his face. He finally sighed in defeat, " Yer right I'm a stupid asshole. I'm set in my ways. I never had much of an appetite, Clara. I used to work right thru meals nonstop without even being hungry at all. Sometimes I didn't have the time or the desire to eat for days. I used to live on Red bull, coffee and cigarettes. It's an old habit. I got used to ignoring if I was hungry. I'm sorry. I'm really not trying to piss ye off. I just don't think about it. That's why I usually need to be prompted or reminded to eat. I simply don't notice it anymore."

Clara sighed, "Well you are going stop working and come home now. Then you are going to sit down a eat with us. Don't even argue because if you do I will slap you so hard you teeth will rattle. Now do as you are told."  
Malcolm sighed, "Yes ma'am." He changed his jacket and put his glasses in his pocket before following Clara to the parking lot. He suddenly remembered that Mathew had dropped him of in the morning before going shopping. He sighed, "Clara? My car is at home. Mathew dropped me off this morning. I..."  
Clara replied, "Then you'll just have to ride with me on my bike." She led him to her bike and handed him the extra helmet before getting on it and starting it. She sighed, "Don't be such a chicken. Get on."

Malcolm hesitantly got on the bike behind her and put on the helmet. He wrapped his arms around her as tightly as possible and squeezed his eyes shut. He hated these fucking contraptions but didn't have a choice in the matter right now. He ducked his head down against Clara's neck as far as he could. He was so relieved when they finally pulled up in front of his house. He didn't move until Clara ordered him to because he was terrified. He slowly forced his limbs to unlock and got off the bike before stumbling to his front door.

Clara had no idea how terrified Malcolm really was until he was wobbling and stumbling to his front door almost falling to his knees twice. He even looked like he was going to throw up and bent over with his hands on his knees. She put her hand on his back and rubbed it in soothing circles to try and calm him. She said, "I'm sorry Malcolm. I didn't realize you were that afraid of motorcycles. What happened?"

Malcolm finally managed to stop the lurching in his stomach to stand up straight again. He needed a cigarette to calm he nerves and finally managed to light one even though his hands were trembling like hell. When he calmed down enough he shakily replied, "I had a friend in high school.....He was 17 and I was 15. He owned one of those things. He used to take me riding on the weekends. One day we wound up in an accident. A bad one. I.....was thrown from the bike and landed in the grass. I only had a broken arm and some scratches. Tommy.....He was... thrown and then ran over by a 18 wheeler and...killed..... splattered all over the asphalt. It was horrible to see....yer boyfriend....in pieces all over the place like.....fucking road kill. I had blanked it out of my mind years ago until I.....was on yer bike......anyway It all came back. I just hope I don't lose ye like that someday. I just couldn't bear it happening again. I'd be.....lost with ye, Clara.." He dropped and ground out his cigarette. When Clara's arms wrapped around him he didn't even hesitate. He wrapped his arms tightly around her and rested his cheek against the side of her head.

Clara felt Malcolm's thin body shaking with quiet sobs. She said, "I'm so sorry, Pepper. I promise I'll be as careful as I possibly can. The bike belonged to Matty and he gave it to me when he bought the Volkswagen. He always took me on rides with him and I loved it so much that he gave it to me as a birthday present one year when I was in college."

Malcolm rasped, "If ye get fucking hurt or killed on that thing I will take it out of his fucking hide. He gave it to ye so he's the one that get the bollocking if anything happens to ye. He'll wish he never gave the fucking thing to ye. Are we clear?"

Clara replied, "Yes. I don't need to tear my brother apart from limb to limb. Besides I'd expect him to take care of you when I couldn't anymore. We all ready discussed it."

Malcolm groaned, "Just fucking wonderful. If ye die I have to put up with bowtie boy fucking riding my fucking ass until I die. Fucking fuck me."

Clara replied, "Yep. You never know you might enjoy it. Come on." She grabbed his hand and drug him into the house and saw Matty setting the table. She coaxed Malcolm into a chair at the table when Matty put a cup of coffee there for him.

Malcolm groaned, "Oh ye are just snarky tonight aren't ye?" When she drug him into the house and the kitchen table he felt her pinch his ass before getting to sit down while she laughed in amusement. 

Clara leaned close him as she moved past him and replied, "Snarky and Horny. If you feel up to the task I want your lovely dick inside me. I want you to fuck me into the mattress until I scream your name over and over in ecstasy." She smiled when he spit out the sip of coffee he just had in shock. Then she kissed his cheek before helping Matty get dinner on the table. She was hoping he was feeling up to it tonight. She wouldn't push him but she also knew she had to be forward and demanding because he followed her lead.

Malcolm knew Clara had to be horny as hell if she was talking dirty to him. She was usually more polite about telling him that. She must be really frustrated to be that fucking blunt although he did have to admit he did get a thrill out her talking dirty to him. He said, "Mathew? Is there anywhere ye could possibly fucking disappear to for a few hours? It's apparently going to be quite fucking noisy for a while here. "

Mathew was a bit thick on understanding the art of subtlety. He asked, "Why?"

Malcolm was figured out bluntness is way more effective with Mathew. He just scrubbed his hand over his face and groaned, "Why do I have to always spell it out for ye? I'm going to fucking fuck yer sister and thought ye might like to fucking not be here for it you thick fucking pudding brain. Is that fucking clear enough?" He was glad Clara understood why he was so blunt. She was actually trying to stifle a fit of giggles.

Mathew turned a bright shade of pink when he finally understood. He stammered, "Sorry. Um. Not really but I'll think of something. Just give me a call um...you know."

Malcolm answered, "When we're finished?"

Mathew stammered, "Um yeah." After dinner he cleaned up the dishes and put everything away. He then went upstairs and sat on his bed trying to figure out what he could do for a few hours. He was completely at a loss until his phone rang. He picked it up and didn't recognize the number but answered it anyway. He hesitantly said, "Hello? Oh hi, Ronnie. Yeah I'd like to go for coffee or something. Actually I have been ordered to stay out of the house for a few hours. Malcolm and Clara want some.......private time. Yeah. That. Ok you can pick me up here anytime if you want. Ok I'll see you in a an hour."

Malcolm wasn't that surprised to find Ronnie at the door an hour after dinner. He let him in and said, "Mathew is in his room probably waiting for ye. Ye should understand that he is like a son ta me and I care a lot about his well being. He's a very sensitive and caring young man. I just want ye to understand that if ye hurt him in ANY way I will fucking rip ye to fucking tiny pieces. Don't make me regret giving ye that fucking push to get this far. Got it?"

Ronnie replied, "Yes. Malcolm. I may have my faults but I really like him. I don't plan on hurting the boy. I give ye my word on that." A few minutes after that Mathew came running down the stairs and did a full twirl with his coat flaring out and then wrapped his arms around him. He had to admit some of the thing Mathew did were rather endearing. The younger man acted more like a boy than an adult a lot of the time. He could understand why Malcolm had the protective streak he had for Mathew.

Malcolm held out a key to Mathew and said, "Ye will need this to get back in. Time ye had it anyway now that ye have moved in." He watched the younger man smile before wrapping arms around him in a hug and kissing his cheek before leaving with Ronnie. He locked the door and said, " Mo ionmhuin? We have the fucking house all to ourselves now. I believe ye said something about wanting me ta fuck ye into the mattress?" He grinned devilishly and she smiled coyly at him before making him chase her up the stairs to the bedroom. He pounced on her and they both landed on the bed in a fit of laughter. Their eyes met and the laughter stopped.

Clara was under him and caressed his cheek with her hand and smiled sadly when he leaned into the touch. She whispered, "I was so worried while you were sick. Promise me you won't be that stupid again. Promise me that if you start getting ill you will go see Ronnie. That you will not try to threaten my brother into keeping it a secret. That you will tell me. You have two people who care and worry about you. Please, Pepper....I don't want to lose you either."

Malcolm rubbed his cheek against Clara's and swore, "I promise. Mo ionmhuin. I promise." He kissed her forehead, eyes, nose, cheeks and then her lips. He buried his nose in her shirt between her breasts. He still wasn't used to having someone care about him. Even after 4 months it was still a foreign concept and drove him to tears at times. He felt one of her hands playing with his hair and the other rubbing his shoulder. After a few minutes he pulled himself together and kissed her again gently then more passionately as she opened her lips for him. He felt her hands running up and down his back while he leaned over her. He felt her pulling at his jumper so he let her pull it off and his shirt followed soon after. He felt her hands running up and down the soft hair on his chest and gently rolled them over so she was on top of him so he could work on her clothing. He wasn't sure how they managed it but eventually they got all their clothing off.

Clara made a surprised noise when Malcolm flipped them back over so he was on top. Her breath hitched when he latched on to one of her nipples and sucked on it while he slipped two finger inside of her while he rubbed her nub with his thumb. She had noticed this seemed to be his favorite way of pleasuring her and he was very good at it. Her fingers gripped his hair. Each time she climaxed he slowed down enough to let her breath before he sent her over the edge again. He was driving her mad with need. After 6 consecutive orgasms she growled, "Malcolm! Need you now."

Malcolm was enjoying getting her all flustered and driving her to orgasm after orgasm. He felt her ripping some hair out every time she came but it was worth it because he could tell she liked what he was doing. When she finally needed him he let go of the nipple he was sucking on and moved his way back up to kiss her while he shifted between her legs. He felt her reach down and help him line up with her entrance before he pushed in. He was going to go slow because it had been a while since they made love but she had other ideas. Before he could move she had wrapped her legs around his waist and tightened them until he was fully inside her. She surprised him again when in the middle of thrusting she rolled them over and she was sitting on top with him still inside of her. He loved how her lovely breasts bounced as she rode him.

Clara was enjoying what Malcolm was doing but she felt something was missing. She rolled them over so she was on top riding him. She took his hand ad placed them on her breasts and he finally snapped out of wherever he went. She felt him pinching her nipples and squeezing her breast while she rode him faster and faster until she came again tightening around him.

Malcolm felt her tighten around him and went rigid as he came inside of without doing any of the work to get there. He pulled her down to rest on his chest while the recovered. Once he had softened and slipped out of her she moved so that she was only half laying on him. He felt her playing with his hair on his sunken belly and felt her shiver. He asked, "Clara? Are ye all right? Cold?" When he felt wetness on his should he knew why she was shaking. He whispered, "Oh, Clara. I'm all right." He kissed the top of her head and held her close.

Clara looked at Malcolm's sunken belly and was reminded how ill he had been. He had been so sick the first week he didn't eat anything and the next week he barely ate. Looking at him now she knew he was too thin again. It took her 3 months the last time to get him to a healthy looking weight and only took 2 weeks to lose it all. If he ever got cancer he would probably be gone before she could do anything. She had been so worried about him and now that he was well again she started crying. She stammered, "I was so worried. I was so scared of losing you. You need to gain weight. You are like skin and bones again. You need to eat."

Malcolm whispered, "All right. I'm sorry. I never meant to scare ye. I'll eat whatever ye tell me and when ye tell me. I promise I won't argue. Even if ye turn me into a fat butterball turkey. Just please....don't cry. Please....eudail.... Mi gràdh thu...Mo ionmhuin, Clara."His voice cracked by time he finished speaking.

Clara stammered, "You promise?"

Malcolm kissed the top of her head and replied, "I promise."

Clara sniffled, "All right. I love you." Clara pulled the quilt up over their naked bodies and eventually fell asleep.

Malcolm whispered, "I know. Mi gràdh thu, Clara." Malcolm carded his fingers through Clara's hair until he started to fall asleep. He was almost asleep when he heard the front door close. He was glad that bowtie boy got home because he forgot to bring his phone with him. He wasn't going to disturb Clara if he didn't need too. A few minutes later there was a light knock on the bedroom door. Malcolm sleepily said, "I'm awake. Clara's sleeping. Try to be fucking quiet, yeah?"

Mathew came home rather late but he knew Malcolm would want to know he was home. He gently tapped on Malcolm's door and quietly said, "All right. I'm going to go to bed. Good night, Malcolm."

He sleepily replied, "Deagh oidhche, Mo ionmhuin Balach." He had a tendency to sometimes slip into Gaelic when he was half asleep but he figured Mathew would figure out he was telling him good night. He also slipped into it when saying something that he was incapable of saying in English like I love you.

Mathew didn't understand the first 2 words but he knew the last were Malcolm's pet name for him so gathered the older man might be telling him good night in Gaelic. He went to his room and changed into his pajamas and went to bed feeling pretty happy. He had a wonderful night with Ronnie. Things were getting back to normal with Malcolm and Clara.


	30. Mathew Out of Town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mathew goes out of town with Ronnie. Clara adn Malcolm have the house to themselves for a few days.

The next morning Malcolm was up early at 5am and started the coffee before getting his shower and dressed for work. He then went out and had a cigarette before making himself a cup of coffee. He sat at the kitchen table reading the newspaper when he heard the clomp of bare feet on the hard wood floors. He looked up to see Mather in his fuchsia pink pajamas and said, "Morning, Mathew."

Mathew was still half asleep and looked up to see Malcolm in his tortie glasses reading the paper. He yawned, "Morning, Malcolm." After he got a cup of coffee he set about making breakfast for them. He made pancakes and bacon. When they were all seated at the table he said, "I hope you don't mind but I agreed to spend the weekend with Ronnie. He has a seminar to go to out of town and asked me to go with him. He's going to pick me up Friday night and bring me back on Sunday." He watched Malcolm look up at him and thought he was going to get yelled at by the older man.

Malcolm didn't really expect Ronnie to move that fast. He knew Ronnie may have acted like a letch at times the younger man really wasn't because he was terrified of relationships even though he wasn't sure as to why. Ronnie must really like Mathew if he had the fucking bollocks to ask him to go out of town for 3 days. He put his fork down and replied, "Ye don't have ta fucking asked our permission ta go somewhere but...Thank ye for telling us so we don't have a panic when ye don't fucking come home Friday night. I'm going ta tell ye something that until now only I have known about Ronnie Pilfrey. We have been with each other thru the worst times of our lives. He is fucking terrified of relationship and I have no idea as ta why but he really likes ye, Mathew. He wouldn't be fucking spending so much time with ye if he didn't. I just don't want ta see his heart broken. Ye are the ONLY person he has ever wanted ta pursue a relationship with and ta him.....that's a leap off a fucking cliff. I'm practically his big brother and will fucking rip ye to shreds if ye hurt him. Are we clear?"

Mathew stammered, "Yes, Malcolm. I don't want to hurt him. I really want a relationship with him. I enjoy spending time with him. He's sweet, silly, affectionate, and has a good sense of humor. He's also soft and cuddly like a pot bellied teddy bear."

Malcolm sighed, "Aye, Ronnie is but he is also easily hurt and insecure. Just fucking remember that. Ye have no idea what he has been through in his life. Until he became a doctor his life was fucking shit. It's not my place ta tell ye. It's his but like me he needs ta trust ye enough. Just don't fucking break his heart, yeah??"

Mathew replied, "I won't." He got up and put all the dishes in the sink before going to take shower and get dressed. He was trying to pack and moved a stool and tripped over it running into the dresser and then hitting the floor hard. He would up with a whopper of a black eye and a black and blue on his elbow. 

Malcolm could tell Mathew was a nervous ball of energy for the last 2 days. He was starting to lose his patience with the boy. Eventually he noticed that Ronnie was an hour late so he was trying to watch TV with Clara and finally snapped, "Will ye fucking sit down and relax? Ronnie will show up. He's been late before but has always come when he's said he would. He probably just got hung up with something. Yer fucking OCD is showing and driving me fucking crazy. Please just try to fucking calm down, yeah? He'll be here or I'll fucking find him and fucking drag him here myself. I'm going for a fucking cigarette."

Clara watched Malcolm get up and go to the back yard for a cigarette. She said, "Matty. Please calm down. If Malcolm says Ronnie will be here then he will. I trust Malcolm. He has known Ronnie since they were children. Malcolm loves you like I do even though he doesn't like to admit. He wouldn't lie to you. How about I put on the kettle?" She went to the kitchen and saw it was 6pm and sighed because Ronnie was an hour late. She heard a knock on the door and heard running and then a thump knowing that in his hurry to answer the door poor Matty ran into it. She was very glad when she heard the deeper but less raspy Scottish brogue of Ronnie Pilfrey. 

Malcolm came in after smoking 4 cigarettes to try and calm his nerves. He caught sight of Ronnie sitting on the sofa with Mathew looking at the black eye. They were talking quietly together until he saw Ronnie notice he was there. He watched how gentle and loving Ronnie was with Mathew and decided they were a good looking pair. He said, "It's about time ye fucking showed up, ye cunt. Bowtie boy here was afraid he scared ye away the other night. I tried to tell him ye always kept yer word ever if ye were fucking late. He was also worried ye might not want to take his fucking arse with ye because of the fucking huge shiner he's got. Also told him not ta worry about that. Fucking worries about every fucking little thing that one. When ye come back Sunday I need ye to fucking fill my fucking pill boxes, ya twat. Which reminds me...ye got yer meds with ye, Mathew?"

Mathew groaned, "Yes, Malcolm. I wasn't really ready to tell Ronnie yet."

Ronnie took Mathew's hand and replied, "It's all right. Ye don't have to tell me right now." 

Mathew sighed, "I have to take OCD and anti-anxiety meds because I um....."

Malcolm said, "Because he fucking goes fucking bananas. He can't handle stress worth a fucking shit. He was fucking late taking them one day because he hadn't been able to fucking pick them up and it was like a fucking paranoid hurricane of a rabid rabbit was running through my house fixing shit that didn't fucking need ta be fixed. Then he was trying ta fucking fix shite that he broke trying to fix it. He was also bouncing around like a fucking kangaroo because he couldn't sit fucking still. He had few fucking black and blues that fucking day too. He was like a fucking psycho....actually a lot like ye were before ye were fixed, ye bastard. Fucking fuck me. He's a fucking barrel o fucking fun that one is when he misses his meds. He's really fucking lucky I'm so fucking fond of him."

Clara had come into the room with a picnic basket on her arm and slapped Malcolm on the ass. She said, "Oi, Stop being an asshole. I packed you boys some sandwiches, crisps, cookies, cakes, and thermos of tea and coffee. Don't look so surprised, Ronnie. I take care of all my boys even you. I bet you didn't have dinner, did you?"

Ronnie sighed, "No. I didn't get lunch either but it's not like I could get away with skipping a few meals, Clara." He was surprised when the tiny woman whacked him on the back of his head.

Clara scolded, "Shut up. Don't make me send Matty to where you work with food to make sure you eat every day."

Malcolm laughed, "She will too. She drags me ta lunch and dinner every fucking day. I gave her my word I'd stop protesting but I thought it would be all right ta warn ye how stubborn she is."

Ronnie sighed, "In case ye hadn't noticed, Clara. I'm fat and round."

Clara sigh, "Oh stop that. We Oswalds like our men fat and round. Trying to fatten Malcolm up is like trying to pull teeth from someone with full dentures. He promised me to gain weight and he bloody well better get with it. As For you...You are fine and you bloody well better eat when you are supposed to. Now you two better get going." She watched Ronnie get up and take Mathews suitcase and the basket from her. She smiled and said, "At least both of you are gentlemen even if you are stubborn as a mule."

Malcolm laughed, "Aye, Mo ionmhuin. We are fucking Scottish. We also complain about everything."

Clara just replied, "Really? I hadn't noticed." She smirked at him and was being sarcastic. Malcolm used to practically complained about everything. When they reached the door she pulled them both down and gave them a kiss on the cheek and a hug before they left. She smiled as she locked the door and said, "Well. We have the whole house to ourselves all weekend. Which means YOU are all mine. I plan on spending most of the weekend curled up naked with you in bed."

Malcolm grinned wolfishly before teasing, "Only just curled up?"

Clara smacked his arm and replied, "Oh I plan on keeping you quite active in between cuddling sessions. I hope you feel well and full of energy. You'll need it, MY Malcolm." She then took his hand and led him upstairs to his bedroom. She slowly stripped him out of his clothes and then out of her own. She gently pushed him down to sit on the bed and lay down. She then laid down next to him and kissed him which turned very passionate and she was rubbing against his leg while they kissed. She found herself under him being worshipped by kisses, licks and sucks all over her body. He made her come 5 times as usual with his fingers inside of her and thumb against her clit while he alternated sucking on each of her nipples. While she panted she felt him move between her legs and enter her when she nodded. She had noticed that he never gave her the time to focus on doing anything for her unless she practically pins him to the bed and starts assaulting his senses so he gets lost in the moment before he can concentrate.

Malcolm smiled down at his beautiful angel before he started moving. He sped up as she was giving him little tells that he had learned from her until she was on the precipice. When she came a 6h time and convulsed around him he bucked 2 more times before he released deep inside of her groaning her name. It was all he could do to not collapse on top of her. He slipped out of her and lay on his back panting while he caught his breath. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders when she curled up next to him with her head on his shoulder. He kissed the top of her head and said, " Mi gràdh thu, Mo ionmhuin."

Clara kissed Malcolm's fuzzy nipple and replied, "I love you too, Malcolm." She smiled as she felt his breathing deepen in sleep until he was purring like a cat and his arm that had been stroking her hair was laying loosely over her shoulder. She whispered, "Good Night, handsome." Soon after she drifted off to sleep as well.


	31. Clara is Really Horny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clara keeps Malcolm busy all day.

The next morning Malcolm woke up early around 5am and gently slipped out of bed. He wrapped his robe around his naked body and went downstairs to get a cup of tea. He took his pills even though they were a little early and watched the morning news. When he finished his tea he went back upstairs and slipped out of his robe and back into bed. He had just gotten comfortable when he got a surprise by Clara suddenly licking and sucking her way down his chest and stomach. He tried to reciprocate and she firmly but gently made sure he knew not to move. He just gave into the sensations that she was giving him. He had to admire at how quickly she learned how to drive him mad with desire. He noticed she was about to take him into her mouth and stopped her. He shook is head no and after a confused look she went back to using her hand. He wasn't expecting the lubricated finger that slipped inside of him. When Clara's seeking fingers found that little nub that drove him wild he yelled, "Jesus Christ!" It had been a long time since someone had done anything like that. It didn't take long before he spilled over her hand stuttering halted Gaelic. 

Clara smiled and teased, "Liked that did you?"

Malcolm panted, "Fucking Hell. It's been a very fucking long time since somebody fucking did that for me."

Clara asked, "Why didn't you tell me how much you enjoyed it? I would have done it sooner if you had."

Malcolm replied, "I thought ye were just being curious. I didn't think ye'd want to actually do anything like that. I was happy just to get what ye are willing ta give me. I'm not going ta fucking ask for something that a lot of people find ...disgusting no matter how much I love it. I wasn't going ta take the chance of scaring ye away by saying oh would ye mind finger fucking me or shoving dildo up my arse when we have sex because I enjoy it. In a gay relationship it's a normal thing but not really all that normal in a straight one. I need ye more than I need that stimulation. "

Clara kissed him to shut him up before saying, "What m I going to do with you? Sometimes I forget how shy you really are under all that bluster openness. I want you to tell me if you like something, Pepper. I'm not as prim and proper as I act. I've done a few unusual things in bed before. I'm willing to give something new a try if it's something you like. Even if I don't want to try something I'm not going to leave you over suggesting it. Just tell me if you want to try something different, all right?"

Malcolm sighed, "I'll try too. Now since ye made me happy. I think it's yer turn. I can't make love ta ye right now but I can still make ye scream." His wide toothy grin would usually have people running in fear but not his Clara. She just giggled at his I'm going to eat you alive face. He nipped, sucked and licked his way down her body and back before latching onto her nipple with his lips. His magic finger had her begging over and over again until she managed to get him to stop. She guessed it was revenge for keeping him from taking care of her needs first.

Malcolm looked at Clara with her hair a mess and all sweaty and smiled. He leaned close to her ear and quietly said, "My beautiful, beautiful Clara. I love how ye look right now. Ye look like a completely sated goddess. Absolutely lovely. I wish ye could stay like this forever." He knew later he would drawing Clara just like this in his book because she was the most beautiful creature in the world to him. He got comfortable on his side facing her and when she rolled over and scooted so they were spooned up against each other. By nightfall he was exhausted from how many times Clara wanted him to make love to her during the day. He was actually amazed he was able to get it up 4 times but his cock was definitely sore since he wasn't used to having a fucking marathon of sex. After the 4th time he collapsed on his back and panted, "Jesus Christ, Clara. Ye are going ta kill me."

Clara smirked and teased, "At least you'll die happy."

Malcolm groaned, "Fucking fuck me."

Clara teased, "Mmmm. I love doing that. I might turn you into a nymphomaniac yet." Then she giggled against his side when she saw the look of horror on his face. She curled up on his shoulder and teased, "Aren't you glad I made you eat all your meals today? Made us have a wonderful sex filled day in bed."

Malcolm groaned, "Yer not the one with the fucking sore cock, Mo ionmhuin. Not saying I didn't fucking enjoy our fun today. Just that I hurt like fucking hell but it was fucking worth it. Ye are worth the fucking sore dick and knees. I just think that's all I'm going ta be able ta do for today. Sorry."

Clara patted his furry chest lightly and replied, "That's all right, Pepper. We still have part of tomorrow before the boys come home. Maybe you'll feel more up to it then." She looked up at him roll his eyes and kissed his lips before settling down with her head on his shoulder. She felt his hand running through her hair and knew he was falling asleep because it was stuttering until it stopped completely. She was proud of herself. She kept him so busy in bed he didn't even get a cigarette. She was about to fall asleep when he started talking to her.

Malcolm was tired but wasn't quite asleep yet. He quietly asked, "Clara? Will ye move in and live with me? I don't mean like ye are now I mean permanently. Move all yer fucking shit in here and get rid of yer apartment."

Clara sat up and looked at him and studied his eyes. She finally asked, "Are you sure?"

Malcolm ran his knuckles over her cheek and replied, "Aye. We've been together 6 months. I'm sure."

Clara kissed him deeply and replied, "Of course I'll live with you."

Malcolm broke out in a relieve grin and said, "All right. When do ye want to sort our yer things?"

Clara smiled and replied, "Let's talk about it tomorrow. We are both tired and I want to sleep a little. Night, Pepper." She put her head back on his shoulder and entwined her fingers with is and rested their clasped hands on his belly.

Malcolm chuckled, "Night, eudail. Mi gràdh thu, Mo ionmhuin, Clara." He ran the fingers of his free hand through Clara's hair until he nodded off to sleep himself.


	32. Sexual Tension is Annoying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Malcolm and Clara have a nice day. Ronnie brings Mathew back and Malcolm complains about the sexual tension he feels from the two and starts to plot how to sort it out.

The next morning Clara decided to make them breakfast in bed seeing that she obviously wore Malcolm out the day before since he was still sleeping soundly. She made eggs, bacon, toast and coffee and put it on a tray and took it upstairs. She smiled when he was just waking up. She said, "I made breakfast, Pepper."

Malcolm blinked and rasped, "Oh and ye brought it ta me. Yer going ta spoil me, Clara." He always had a dry throat in the morning so his voice was always raspy anymore. It sounded a bit like a gravelly semi-whisper until he had his morning coffee. He noticed Clara had even brought his pill box. He hoped his love struck cousin would remember to fill them tonight. He was out and really didn't feel like trying to figure it out himself. He had decided he takes to many pills but he didn't have a choice if he wanted to live more than a year or two. Now he had a reason to live and it was the beautiful 30 year old woman who took a fancy to him. He still wondered why but he was happy which helped him ignore that he didn't have the answer. 

Clara had gotten used to Malcolm's early morning raspy voice. She set the tray down between them on the bed after he was sitting up and said, "I thought maybe we could move my stuff here this coming weekend. I'd like to get Matty's to help since he's stronger than he looks. I figured that maybe I could give Matty me double bed seeing he only has a single right now."

Malcolm asked, "Why does he need a double? Oh fuck. Forget I even asked that. Ye figure sooner or later fucking Ronnie will be staying over. Those nights will prove ta be fucking interesting. I'm glad the walls in here are pretty thick. Trust me when I say Ronnie is fucking hornier that ye were yesterday. Once they start having sex ye'll be lucky if they get ta their room before they are fucking banging on the sofa, the kitchen table, or any other fucking service they can fuck on. He practically is a fucking Nymphomaniac. When he was staying here I learned the hard way he had perfected the art of fucking masturbation. Oh don't get me wrong he tried ta keep it down but I'm afraid he is quite loud when he comes. The first time he did that I ran to his room thinking he fucking hurt himself. Well after that I knew when he had masturbated and how many fucking times he had come in a night. That was one of the fucking reason he moved out again. Because I teased him fucking endlessly about being able ta fucking come 5 times in one night. Christ. I couldn't fucking believe it at first but then I read about the over active sex drive and lack of inhibitions Hypomania gives ye and realized he has a sex drive of a fucking teenager at 50 years old. I also realized it must be really hard ta not have a mate ta fucking get off with instead of having ta fucking do it yerself. Wish I had 1/4 of his sex drive. After that many fucking times fucking coming every fucking night..I'm surprised his fucking dick doesn't fall the fuck off. Right now I'm almost wishing mine had because it's sore as all fucking hell."

Clara smiled a Malcolm's fond exasperation about his oversexed cousin. She teased, "Guess you're not up for another round of fun then today then?"

Malcolm chuckled, "The rest of my body is but my fucking prick just hurts to much, Mo ionmhuin. Sorry."

Clara kissed his lips before taking the tray and said, "All right but every time they go away for the weekend..One of those days your lovely huge prick belongs to me all day long. Got it?"

Malcolm groaned, "Aye, ma'am."

Clara smirked and replied, "Good. Now I'm going to go grade some papers for school while you get washed and dressed. I'll want the shower after you all right?"

Malcolm replied, "Aye. Go do yer grading." He went and took his shower before just throwing on a pair of fleece pajama bottoms and a holy sweeter. He was glad he had like 5 of them. It was the most comfortable top he had. Well he had finally gotten the balls to ask Clara to move in with him. Well she practically lived here anyway. They didn't spend much time at her place anymore since his back was happier on his bed and she had moved a lot of her clothes, makeup, shoes, and other stuff here anyway. He had to figure out what to do with her furniture since his house was already crowded. Well he could but some of his in storage. He felt better even though he was still sore. He went back to the bedroom and took his pills with cold coffee before taking both a the cup and empty pill box downstairs. He called, "Clara? Ye can have the bathroom if ye want it." He watched her go upstairs and flopped down on the sofa with a bowl of crisped and turned the TV on while Clara took her shower. He spent most of the day being lazy while Clara did her markings. He made dinner and about that time Ronnie brought Mathew home. He was surprised to see Ronnie in a pair of black jeans, a long sleeved polo shirt, and a leather jacket with unusual sunglasses and dress shoes. He seemed to remember the younger man had been wearing that outfit the day he had his psychotic break. He was definitely surprised by the new nickname the boy had given Ronnie. He choked on his tea when he heard Mathew call Ronnie pussy cat. He croaked, "Pussy cat? Jesus Christ are ye hiding something, Ronnie?"

Ronnie blushed and quietly, "I purr and nuzzle..like a cat."

Malcolm asked, "What?"

Mathew replied, "He purrs and nuzzles like a cat when he's content or....aroused."

Malcolm chuckled, "So..ok. Ye fucking purr like a fucking cat? When ye are fucking having sex? Now there's something I never fucking knew about ye. Bet ye fucking roll over and stick your fucking belly in the air too."

Ronnie sighed, "I...like my belly scratched and rubbed if ye must know, Malcolm. So in short Aye I act like a cat in that wy as well."

Malcolm shook his head and chuckled, "Ye are a weird one ye are. It don't change nothing but it's still funny."

Clara smacked Malcolm's arm and said, "Oi! You're one to talk. You purr when you snore. So what if you are not aware of it. You still do it. Stop making fun of him because he does it when he's awake. I think it's kind of cute. It shouldn't bloody well matter as long as Matty doesn't mind it."

Ronnie said, "Thank ye, Clara. Ye didn't have ta but thank ye just the same." He felt Mathew's arms wrap around him and his palms rested flat against his soft belly while the younger man nuzzled his ear.

Mathew said, "I like his purring and besides he's MY pussy cat after all." 

Malcolm chuckled, "Whatever fucking floats yer boat, Mathew. If him purring fucking turns ye on that's great." He shook his head and heard them laughing about getting each other a present with the same grinning cat on them from Alice in Wonderland. He had to laugh at the Angry owl figurine and socks that they got him and a silk scarf that had owls all over it and a tee shirt that said "I belong to an angry owl" with the image of an angry owl on it for Clara. He also he also got one of his own with the same image but said "I am the angry owl" on it. He laughed, "Are ye two trying ta tell me something?"

Ronnie replied, "Aye. Ye are an angry owl. Didn't ye figure that out?"

Clara laughed, "I actually love these. Thank you boys." She kissed both their cheeks before they all sat down for dinner. After dinner Ronnie went home. Clara asked, "Oh Matty? Would you mind helping me and Malcolm move my stuff over he from my apartment this weekend? Malcolm asked me to move in with him...and I said yes."

Mathew replied, "Congratulations. Sure I'll help you. I'm sure Ronnie can pick me up after we are done if he wants us to do anything."

Ronnie replied, "I'll help ye too. It'll get it done faster if we all do it leaving more time for other things."

Clara smiled and replied, "Thank you Ronnie" She watched him smile a crooked smile and shrug. She was guessing that meant "you're welcome" to him. She let Matty and Ronnie have a few minutes before The older man left to go home. She watched Matty skip upstairs. She was surprised when Malcolm started taking.

Malcolm said, "Their not fucking yet. Ronnie's too fucking uptight ta make the first move. He's like a fucking woman in a relationship. Hope yer brother has a bit more fucking balls that the pussy cat or I think those two fucking pussies will be fucking dancing around each other for a long time yet. I can tell they fucking want each other. It's fucking obvious. If there was any fucking more sexual tension around those two in here it'd be a fucking porno flick. If the fucking sexual tension gets any worse I may have ta fucking lock them in Mathew's room with that double bed ye are going ta fucking give him and not let them the fuck out until they fucking mate. Fuck...They are even making me fucking horny. Ronnie may be a fucking pussy cat but yer fucking brother is a fucking tom cat. Perfect fucking match if they'd ever fucking mate."

Clara sat next to Malcolm on the sofa curling into his side. She said, "I'm sure they have a reason. Did you even realize that you were the same way with me before you finally gave in? Took you a few months if I remember correctly."

Malcolm wrapped his arm around Clara's shoulders and replied, "Aye. But I didn't pornographically flirt with ye the whole fucking time I waited. Those two should write a smutty novel for fuck sake. It's probably be a best seller. They can call it "the sexually frustrated doctor and his boy toy" and put in the gay porno isle. I had ta fucking give Ronnie a shove ta call the boy. Guess I'm going ta have ta be the one ta get them fucking in bed together as well. Jesus Christ I feel like a sex therapist stuck in the middle of all the sexual drama. I can see it all now. Ronnie ye fucking twat yer dick goes there and Mathew you can jerk off while Ronnie's fucking ye. Yeah that's it. Good ye fucking pussies are finally getting it right. Now I'm going ta go fuck Clara because I'm fucking hard as a fucking rock now."

Clara cracked up laughing and said, "Maybe you should write the sex novel and give it to them as a reference book." She knew even if Ronnie didn't know what to do that Matty had been ta bed with a man many times but it still a funny image of Malcolm refereeing and teaching them how to have sex together.

Malcolm groaned, "Now that is an idea. Wonder if they'd get the hint or if I'm going ta have to draw them a fucking diagram. That's after I fucking knock them both out with a fucking frying pan and drag them ta Mathew's fucking room and lock them the fuck in it."

After Clara's hysterical laughter ended they watched TV for a while until it was time to go to bed. She curled up in his arms and fell asleep imagining Malcolm teaching sex education in the nude to a bunch of horny teenagers using Matty and Ronnie as dummies...


	33. Moving Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically bantering and moving Clara into Malcolm's home
> 
> Sorry it's a short chapter.

Clara had a very busy week at school with after school Parent Teacher meetings, The school play which she had agreed to help with and conferences. She barely even got to see Malcolm at school let alone after school. She drug him to lunch and for something to eat after school unless he was cooking for her because she was going to be late. Before she knew it they had gotten to the weekend again and they were moving her belongings from her flat to Malcolm's house. Ronnie even showed up as promised to help her, Malcolm and Mathew move her things. She was watching Ronnie and Mathew's interaction and she thought they were so cute together. She was very glad they had found each other because both of them needed someone .

Malcolm was exhausted by time everything was moved from Clara's apartment. Everyone had dinner and then sat in the living room for coffee and cake. He said, "So Ronnie did ye and bow tie boy finally fucking sleep with each other? I mean did ye finally fuck? I will lock ye in his fucking room if I have ta just to get ye started."

Ronnie turned bright pink and stammered, "Um... In a manner of speaking...yes we did. We haven't...fucked...as you put it but we have....um.....fucked around with each other."

Mathew sighed, "What he means is no we haven't had anal sex but yes we have had sex. We've done oral, hand jobs, yada yada." Mathew wasn't shy like Ronnie but he also knew while his lover wasn't good at talking about sex he didn't mind if he told Malcolm what he wanted to know.

Malcolm smiled and replied, "That's fucking wonderful. I thought ye two pussies would fucking be dancing around each other for fucking forever. Congratu-fucking-lations. Glad ta fucking hear it. Mybe ye won't cause me ta get a fucking erection with yer fucking sexual flirting. Do ye have any idea how fucking annoying it is ta get a fucking erection that ye can't fucking do anything about?"

Ronnie cleared his throat and replied, "Ummm Aye. I do, Malcolm. Ye forget I'm the nymphomania as ye call me. I've taken many cold showers and had to deal with trying to his a hard on...many times."

Malcolm replied, "Good."

Mathew laughed, "You flirt with me the same way as Ronnie does, Malcolm. I just react differently to your flirting than Ronnie's. No, Ronnie love. Before you even ask. You don't need to be jealous of Malcolm. I know he's just being playful. You on the other hand do want to "pound me into the mattress" so I'm more open and blatantly obvious when I flirt with you." He wrapped his arms around Ronnie and pulled the older man back against himself on the sofa.

Malcolm knew two things about them. 1. They loved each other 2. They need each other to heal the damage they spent a long time hiding from. Just like he needed Clara to heal his damaged and betrayed soul. After about an hour Ronnie took Mathew out for something to eat and dancing. He said, "Have a good time! If ye don't come home just send me a fucking text!" He got a wave from Ronnie before they took off in that fancy car Ronnie was so fond of. He smiled as he shut the door and spent the rest of the day helping Clara get settled in. He gave her one of the two closets and dressers in his bedroom. Her knick knacks and books they spent time trying to find a place for them on his already crowded shelves. He decided he needed to build more shelves in order to fit all of her things where they should go. He had set up a workshop in the backyard after he wasn't working at Number 10 anymore because he was losing his mind with fucking boredom. He went out there lit a cigarette and started working on bookshelves making sure they were the right size for the space he wanted to put it. When he was done he brought it in and hung up the shelves and told Clara she could put whatever she liked on them. He smirked when she moved some of his things and mixed them with her own and vise versa. Eventually around 11pm they finally were done unpacking and putting her stuff away. He collapsed on the sofa and groaned as his back let him know it was mad at him. He was surprised when Clara handed him a couple of pain pills and a glass of water. Then she handed him his evening meds that he forgot to take. He grunted, "Thanks, Clara. I'm fucking knackered." 

Clara carded her fingers through Malcolm's curly gray hair and kissed his forehead. After about 30 minutes she noticed he was starting to fall asleep. She said, "It's been a long day. Why don't we go to bed? I got a text from Matty telling me he was staying with Ronnie again tonight so we don't have to wait up for him to get home."

Malcolm sighed, "All right. My sleeping pill is kicking in anyway." He managed to get upstairs and changed but as soon as his head hit the pillow he was asleep. 

Clara changed and slipped into bed behind Malcolm and wrapped her arm around his waist and rested her hand on his now slightly protruding soft belly. She buried her nose against his curl and kissed his neck before allowing sleep to take her as well.


	34. Not a Good Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clara and Malcolm have a bad day

A few weeks later life was getting back to normal again. Clara had been amazed that they had managed to fit all of her belongings into Malcolm's house. She had given her brother her double bed that she had at her apartment and he LOVED it. She was glad that he did so she gave him the matching dresser and night stands as well. She had to smile because he could wait to show Ronnie the next time the older man dropped in to take Matty to dinner. She was very happy that Matty's relationship with Ronnie was going so well. She wanted her brother to be happy and that's what Ronnie Pilfrey did. He made Matty happy even if she thought he was rather unusual she new Matty loved that about his boyfriend. She had to smile because Malcolm is rather odd as well but she loves him anyway. She just ignored the snide remarks from the other school teachers and students. She was sitting at her desk grading papers during a free period when one of the kids ran in in a panic. She said, "What's the matter, Josie?"

Josie replied, "Um, The Scottie collapsed in one of the classroom and they told me to fetch you."

Clara jumped up and said, "Take me there." Her heart was hammering in her chest because she knew it couldn't be good if Malcolm suddenly collapsed. She called Ronnie and told him what happened. She knelt next to him and rolled his head gently onto her lap. She noticed the bleeding cut on his temple before she noticed he was coming around. She said, "Hey."

Malcolm looked up at Clara and then noticed the circle of faces around them. He groaned, "What happened?"

Clara said, "I was hoping you could tell me that. I was told you just collapsed and it looks like you banged your head on this desk as you fell."

Malcolm groaned at the pain in his head before replying, "I'm not sure. I just felt light headed and dizzy before I blacked out. Next thing I know I'm in yer lap waking up."

Clara replied, "We are taking you to Ronnie's office. No you will do as you are told, Malcolm. I need to be sure this isn't serious."

Malcolm sighed, "Aye, Ma'am." He saw the looks of surprise on the people around them because he never took orders from anyone before Clara. He let her help him up and to his car and in it before she drove them to Ronnie's office. He was well aware that she had told Ronnie about what happened and he was waiting for them. He went in and took a seat until Ronnie called him. He noticed Clara was right behind him. He wasn't all that thrilled with having her with him but knew it was only fair that she was aware of what was going on with him. He had given Ronnie permission to tell Clara and Mathew whatever was happening with him. He had also given Clara power of attorney since having Ronnie do it was a conflict of interest with him being his doctor.

Ronnie had been surprised to find out Malcolm had collapsed at work and had the nurse do a blood panel and he listened to Malcolm's heart. He said, "Well for starters yer heart is beating a bit too fast but it's not life threatening. I think you might be developing an Arrhythmia but I need to do a few more tests to verify it. Ye should be safe for now but if it gets worse ye may have ta have surgery to correct it. It can be life threatening if ye had a really stressful job like ye used ta have but if it gets bad ye always have the option of a pacemaker ta control it. I would suggest ye don't run to much, stay away from stress as much as possible, eat as healthy as ye can, and for fuck sake stop smoking."

Malcolm replied, "I can agree with all of that except the fucking smoking. Not going ta fucking happen. Ye know that."

Ronnie sighed, "Then at least make a positive effort to cut back on how many cigarettes ye smoke a day. Ye were not doing to bad with 3-4 a day but then you started smoking almost a pack again. If ye could at least go back ta 3-4 it's better than a pack. Any little bit will help, Malcolm. Besides I doubt ye want ta leave Clara a widow before ye've even made her a wife. Speaking of which...Sex should be all right unless the fainting spells get worse and ye start having chest pain. If ye start having chest pain make sure ye tell me immediately. Just don't overdue the sex until we know what's going on with that heart of yers. It's really amazing ye haven't had a heart attack or stroke with the bloody job ye had before." He wasn't too worried about Malcolm since this is the first time it has happened but he was definitely going to make him go through the tests to verify whether he's right or not. If he's wrong he'll keep going until he finds out what is wrong. Malcolm was the closest thing he had to a brother and the older man meant everything to him. The only family he has is Malcolm, Clara and Mathew.

Malcolm sighed, "All right. I'll try ta fucking cut down again. Ye know why I was fucking smoking like that again."

Ronnie sighed, "Aye. I know but ye have ta stop letting yer nerves get the better of ye if ye are going ta stay with Clara. She loves ye. She wouldn't put up with yer bullshit if she didn't. Ye worry too much you bloody bastard." He cleaned and bandaged the cut on Malcolm's forehead as well.

Clara said, "Excuse me? I'm in the room."

Ronnie chuckled, "Sorry, lassie. I'm used ta Malcolm being alone when he's here. Now ye can take a couple of Paracetamol for yer headache as needed every 6-8 hours until ye don't need them. Try not ta have any more arguments with furniture. Ye will always lose. I'll have them schedule his other tests at the front desk and then after those are done I'll give ye a call to come in. Now if anything happens in the mean time just call me or take him to the hospital and call me. Ye also know if yer brother is with me ye can try his phone ta get me. I know he always answers it. One time we were in the middle of sex and he answered it for ye. That was a bit of a mood killer. Anyway. Ye get the drill. If it's an emergency send a text with a 999 to call you. Now get both of ye." He shooed them out and Clara made Malcolm's appointments for his other tests before he watched them leave to go home.

Mathew had gotten a message from Ronnie about Malcolm collapsing at work. He was worked into a frazzle by time they walked through the door and skidded to a stop and wrapped his arms around the older man. He asked, "Ronnie called me. Are you all right, Malcolm?"

Malcolm just held the younger man and replied, "Aye. I'm fine. Have a bunch of fucking tests Ronnie wants me ta fucking have though. I also have a hell of a fucking headache." He followed Mathew to the sofa, flopped down on it and closed his eyes. He didn't even realized he had nodded off until he felt Mathew shaking his shoulder to tell him dinner was ready. he ate dinner then went out for a cigarette before sitting on the couch with both Clara and Mathew on either side of him. He sighed, "I'm in a fucking Oswald sandwich and I'm the fucking meat."

Clara giggled, "Shut up and deal with it. You are a wonderful piece of meat just for your information."

Malcolm groaned, "Well that's fucking wonderful. Wouldn't be any fucking good if I was fucking chopped liver would it?"

Clara asked, "How's your head?"

Malcolm sighed, "Still fucking hurts but not as bad." He watched as Clara got up and came back with a glass of water and two pills that he took without a fight. Then he let her get comfortable before he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. He had both Oswald's curled against his sides with a head on each shoulder. It took some getting used to being loved that much by the two of them. He had an arm around both of them and knew Mathew was there because he was afraid of losing him. He was well aware that he still owned a piece of the boy's heart and always would. He knew Ronnie was aware of that fact as well but Mathew was in love with Ronnie as well. Mathew was in love with both of them. He had made it clear to Mathew his own heart belongs to Clara and the boy accepted that and moved on with Ronnie but the boy still loved him as well. The times when it is the most obvious is when he is ill or hurt. Ronnie had told him once that he was willing to accept that Malcolm came first because he loved Mathew and he knew Malcolm was the boy's first love and as long as it didn't change the boy's love for Ronnie it was all right. 

Clara went and fetched Malcolm night pills a few hours later. Then they all trudged off to bed. She slipped in beside him and rested her head on his shoulder. She said, "I love you, Malcolm." She felt Malcolm fall asleep first and then she followed him hoping tomorrow would be a less eventful day.

Malcolm ran his hand over her hair and replied, "Mi gràdh thu, Mo ionmhuin, Clara." After a few minutes he felt his sleeping pill kicking in and nodded off to sleep.


	35. Insecurities are a Bitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ronnie and Malcolm have a discussion about what's bugging them. The Ronnie tells Clara a few things she didn't know.

A week later Malcolm was waiting to talk to Ronnie after his tests came back in nervously tapping his fingers on his thigh as he sat on the examination bed. 

Ronnie looked at how nervous his cousin was and shook his head. He said, "Well, Malcolm. The good news is that ye don't have an arrhythmia. Ye do have Tachycardia. It's not as life threatening as Arrhythmia but just to be on the safe side I'm going ta change some of your medications. Hopefully doing that will keep the condition in check but if it doesn't stop we may have ta give ye a pacemaker or an implantable cardioverter-defibrillator ta regulate yer heartbeat correctly. Ye should try ta stop smoking, cut down on caffeine, and try not to stress yerself out so much."

Malcolm replied, "Ye know about my opinion on smoking. Not going ta happen but I am trying ta cut back. I compromised like ye asked."

Ronnie sighed, "Well I had ta try. I am yer doctor after all."

Malcolm laughed, "Aye ye are but ye also smoke ye bastard."

Ronnie rubbed his eyes and replied, "Fair enough but I don't smoke a pack a day. If yer not going ta quite smoking I can't force ye ta but I would suggest ye try to smoke as little as ye can. Also stop worrying about if Clara's going ta suddenly leave. It will help ye not smoke as much if ye do. Ye always were to wound up. If this keeps up ye may wind up having a stroke or a heart attack. Where would Clara be then?"

Malcolm sighed, "I don't know."

Ronnie sighed, "She loves ye so much that she'd stay and take care of ye until the end, you idiot. Even if she had ta do everything for ye she'd be beside ye. So would Mathew because they both adore ye. I'd have ta move in with ye just ta be able ta see my bloody boyfriend. Would ye really want me ta move back in with ye?"

Malcolm gasped, "Jesus Christ! No I'd rather ye didn't. Ye were bad enough when ye masturbated 5 times a night. Ye and yer boyfriend would never let me sleep with all the fucking ye'd probably be doing."

Ronnie laughed, "Oh ye can believe we would too. Long as I can get it up I'm going ta make damn sure I use it."

Malcolm sighed, "I just can't help but still be worried though. Ye know that. I love Clara so fucking much and I know I'm not good enough for her, Ronnie. I'm fucking caretaker! I barely fucking made it out of Downing Street without going ta prison. I used ta be something. Now I'm fucking nothing! I'm twice her age, sickly, and cranky as fucking horse shit. I am so afraid she'll leave me for someone younger, fitter, healthier and with a better job."

Ronnie replied, "Look. She's not going ta leave ye. She moved in with ye didn't she? Besides if ye are so afraid of losing her than ask her ta marry ye, ye daft old fool."

Malcolm scrubbed a hand over his face and replied, "I.....want ta but I don't think it's fucking fair ta tie her ta me, Ronnie."

Ronnie groaned, "She wouldn't be with ye if she didn't want ta be. Ye know she loves ye. Ye deserve ta be happy. She makes ye happy and ye make her happy. Ye know what? I don't think I'm good enough for Mathew either but I'm not going ta let it stress me out ta the point that I smoke way too much and kill myself with stress."

Malcolm laughed, "What is it with us, Ronnie? Why are we both so fucking fucked up?"

Ronnie sighed, "Neither one of has really had a good life. Both have been mentally abused one way or another. We learned not to expect the worse of everything. We just learned how ta handle it differently. For ye it was ripping MP's bollock's off and for me? It was acting like a pervert. All it did was hide the true feelings of never being good enough for anyone ta love us. It's something ye get drilled in yer head when ye are young and it sometimes can never be changed."

Malcolm sighed, "Yer probably right. Ronnie....I know this isn't the ideal moment but I think it's about time told ye this...I've known about what yer da did ta ye. I'm not taking about the beatings. I know he....raped ye as well. I've known it since ye were a lad. Ye used to run from my da and flinch away from me. I never said anything because I figured when ye were ready....Ye never told me. I want ye ta know. What he...did ta ye doesn't make ye worthy of being loved. Ye and Mathew are adorable together. Ye really are a sweet guy and ye deserve ta be happy no matter what that fucking bastard of a da ye had told ye."

Ronnie blinked a few times before replying, "Oh. I guess I am awful at keeping secrets then. I suppose Mathew confirmed what ye thought because he's the only one I told about it."

Malcolm replied, "Don't be angry with fucking bow tie boy. He didn't fucking tell me. I told him what I suspected since we were lads and he just fucking confirmed it. Ye should have fucking told me. Ye deserved better than ta have bottled that up for over 30 fucking years, Ronnie!"

Ronnie replied, "Christ, Malcolm. I was 8 years old! I was terrified! I loved ye so much that I wasn't willing ta chance loosing ye by telling ye. Yeah maybe I should have told ye but ye were more important ta me than that. Ye've been my big brother for most of my life. I'm sorry I didn't fucking tell ye but I thought it was for the best at the time."

Malcolm sighed, "Ye were wrong but at least it's in the open now between us. I would have fucking killed the bastard had I known back then anyway. He was a fucking balaclava! As for me....I've been a mess most of my life. That's mostly my fault with my job and the fucking reputation I got from being the PM enforce. Sadly the longer I had the job the meaner I got until there wasn't a fucking thing left ta me but a fucking burnt out husk that no one fucking knew. I was a fucking manipulative, conniving, cynical bastard that decided fucking people over was the only way ta keep my job. I didn't have one fucking shred of decency left in me by the end. After I got away from there I realized what I had turned in ta and was disgusted with myself. I've hated myself ever since. I can't forgive myself for what I became and feel I don't deserve Clara."

Ronnie replied, "Ye recognized what ye became and changed, Malcolm. If ye didn't have a shred of decency left in that "burnt out husk" ye wouldn't have realized what ye had become or tried ta change. Ye are to hard on yerself. I sometimes wonder if I should suggest a therapist for ye."

Malcolm laugh, "Fucking fuck me! No fucking way. Ye are the only DOCTOR I am willing ta talk ta and ye know that, Ronnie."

Ronnie groaned, "Ye are the most stubborn fucked up bastard I have ever met!"

Malcolm replied, "Takes one ta know one."

Ronnie groaned, "Aye. Touché, Malcolm. Fine. Maybe we should schedule times for us ta talk then. Ye do realize I have a biased opinion?"

Malcolm replied, "Aye. I do. I also know ye know when ta keep yer fucking mouth shut about my business."

Ronnie sighed, "All right I'll get these scripts filled and come over ta redo yer pills tonight."

Malcolm replied, "Hhhokay. See you tonight then." He left the office and drove home to Mathew hugging him. He sighed, "I'm fine, Mathew. I'm going ta go lay down for a while." He watched Mathew nod before going upstairs to his bedroom and flopping on the bed in his clothes after he took off his shoes. He fell asleep soon after.

Clara came home and Matty told her Malcolm had come home and went to lay down. She went to check on his while Matty finished making dinner for them. She found him on their bed curled up on his stomach and sat on the bed beside him. She gently ran her fingers through his curly gray hair. She's glad he wears it longer now than he did when he worked for the government. Matty had told her Malcolm was fine from what he'd been told but this was unusual for her lover to do. She let him sleep and went back downstairs. When dinner was ready she went back upstairs and carded her fingers through Malcolm's hair and said, "Malcolm? Time for dinner."

Malcolm just replied, "Not hungry. Tired."

Clara sighed, "You need to eat and take your pills."

Malcolm mumbled, "Ronnie changed them. Be by later. Take them then."

Clara sighed, "All right but I'm not happy about you skipping dinner."

Malcolm mumbled, "Noted, eudail." He fell almost instantly back to sleep to be woken up a while later to Ronnie poking him in the ribs. He rolled over and sat up grumbling but obediently took his pills with the water the younger man gave him. He got up and stipped to his boxers after Ronnie kept prodding him before slipping under the covers. He mumbled, "Thanks, Twat."

Ronnie smiled and replied, "Yer welcome, jackass." He had come over and changed Malcolm's med boxes by adding new pills and taking out old ones he decided weren't needed now with the new meds. he also increased a couple of the pills doses. He had explained it to both Clara and Mathew as much as possible before deciding to wake the sleeping bull to take his meds. He managed to get the older man to strip off his clothes before falling back to sleep.

Clara asked, "Is Malcolm going to be all right, Ronnie?"

Ronnie took a sip of the tea that Clara gave him and replied, "Aye. Lots of people live years with tachycardia with little to no treatment. I changed his meds to compensate. If he starts having more episodes often then I may have to force him to get surgery. Hopefully though the change in meds will be good enough. If anything happens..adverse reaction ta the meds, another episode, or anything out of the ordinary just call me. I don't care when it is just call. I'll be there as soon as I can or I'll have ye take him to the office and I'll meet ye there. If I have ta go out o' town I'll make sure ta make arrangements for ye in case ye need help while I'm gone. That doesn't happen hardly at all but I will make sure ta have a plan if it does."

Clara kissed Ronnie's cheek and replied, "Thank you, Ronnie. You are a good cousin and doctor."

Ronnie looked at his tea cup and replied, "Malcolm....has basically been my brother since I was 8 years old, Clara. I love him very much and will always be there ta do everything I can for him. Even when I want ta kill him I'd still try ta save his sorry ass. One thing ye should know Clara is that ye have no idea how MUCH that old man adores and loves ye. He's very damaged from working at Downing Street and has a hard time expressing any emotion except anger. It doesn't mean they aren't there. He just never liked talking about them especially when they are his own. Also I think ye should also know that ye are his power of attorney should anything bad happen ta him. I didn't even realize it myself until I actually read his file today."

Clara was shocked. She stammered, "I...I don't know what to say."

Ronnie replied, "Ye don't have ta say anything. I just wanted ye ta know so ye don't get the shock of a lifetime should it ever need to be put in ta effect. He had ta change it anyway. I'm his doctor and being his power of attorney as well was a big conflict. I want ye ta understand that until Malcolm met ye..I was the ONLY person he trusted with his life. Giving ye that Clara means he trusts ye ta decided his fate if he should be incapable of it himself. That is a huge step for him."

Clara replied, "Thank you for telling me. I didn't think he trusted me. "

Ronnie sighed, "Malcolm Tucker and trust do not go together well. He rarely ever trusts anyone but if ye become one of those he does trust....He trusts ye fully and if ye ever break that trust.....He will rarely ever forgive. He has forgiven me once or twice but I think part of that is because we were raised together as brothers when we were lads so he knows the real me. He knows me and why I do things. As for anyone else...He never forgave the only other person he ever trusted in any way. He was so angry with him I thought he might have destroyed him if I hadn't stopped him."

Clara gasped, "Jamie."

Ronnie replied, "Aye. Jamie McDonald. May I ask how ye know about him?"

Clara said, "I was here one day when he called. Malcolm told me about him and yes I know they were lovers."

Ronnie sighed, "Well that's good. He told ye about him. He never talks about that Scottish backstabbing cunt as Malcolm called him for years. Ye are the first person he has trusted with his heart in many years. Well thank ye for the tea. I best be off. Long day tomorrow. Ozzie? I'll see ye in a couple of days, love." He met Mathew half way and gave him a firm kiss on the lips before leaving.

Mathew replied, "Night, Ronnie. Love you."

Ronnie turned around and held both Mathew's hands and replied, "I love ye too. I really do. Just thought it was time ye knew. Night." He went home feeling a little lighter than he had the rest of the day.

Mathew whispered, "Clara? He loves me....Ronnie loves me. He actually loves me."

Clara teased, "I know. I could tell by how he looks at you. You are such a blind goofball sometimes, Matty. Besides you are cute in your own way. He wouldn't date you if he didn't at least like you." He went to bed that night floating on a cloud.

Clara changed into a shorts and tank set of pajamas and crawled into bed next to Malcolm. She was glad he had finally rolled onto his back on his side of the bed. She put her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arm around his rounded soft belly. She felt him wrap his arm around her shoulders automatically in his sleep. She whispered, "I love you, Malcolm Tucker." She then settled down and fell asleep.


	36. Malcolm and Mathew Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mathew has a chat with Malcolm and things start to get a more normal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fix in consistancy I just noticed with chapter 40 lol

A couple of months later Malcolm's body had adjusted to the change in his meds and the light headedness and chest pains stopped. He was back to being the grumpy old caretaker again. He was constantly having to clean windows because of kids being annoying. They constantly wrote things like "Ozzie loves the Scottie" or "Ozzie's shagging the Scottie" or "Ozzie is living with Scottie" or even "Both Ozzie's are shagging Scotties" and how they found the last one out he wasn't sure. He heard a tapping sound and looked down to find Mathew tapping his ladder. He got off the ladder and asked, "What brings ye here, Mathew?"

Mathew chuckled, "Can't I just want to see my favorite brother-in-law?"

Malcolm sighed, "We're not married, Mathew."

Mathew smiled and replied, "Maybe not on paper but you are as good as married to me."

Malcolm chuckled, "Ye are incorrigible. I bet ta ye dating is usually considered married."

Mathew replied, "Very true but ye love me anyway. Besides you should marry my sister. You two are perfect together."

Malcolm groaned, "Fucking fuck me. Ye too? First Ronnie and now ye are telling me ta marry the lassie. Is this yer idea of a fucking gang up on Malcolm day?"

Mathew was genuinely curious why Malcolm had not married Clara yet. He said, "No. I just don't understand why you aren't married. You both adore each other, are living together, have been together almost a year." He talked while he followed Malcolm to the caretaker's building.

Malcolm sat on the stool by his work bench and scrubbed a hand over his face. He sighed, "Mathew, Clare is half my age. I don't think it's fucking fair ta her ta tie her ta a fucking sickly cranky old man like me. She also doesn't fucking need the shit that comes with my fucking name. She really should marry someone closer ta her age and have a family. Not me. If I never marry her she's free ta leave whenever she wants without a fucking bunch of lawyers bills and paperwork. Nor will she have ta deal with the fucking stigma that comes with the name Tucker."

It was starting to suddenly dawn on Mathew why Malcolm really didn't marry Clara. He said, "You are afraid." By the way Malcolm head shot up he knew he was right. He repeated, "You are afraid. Why?....You are afraid she'd turn you down. You are also afraid she'll leave you either way. Why, Malcolm?"

Malcolm whispered, "I...I'm old, sickly, tired, miserable and I'm simply no good for her. Someday she'll figure that out. I just don't want ta go through all the fucking bullshit ta give her the freedom she deserves."

Mathew scolded, "Malcolm Tucker, you should know better than that. Clara is head over heels in love with you. No she's in it for the long run but you have to stop worrying so much about the future and take a chance."

Malcolm wrapped his arms around him and yelled, "Fine! I'm fucking afraid! I'm fucking terrified! I'm fucking terrified of rejection! I've never felt what I feel for anyone like I do for Clara! I'm terrified of not being good enough! I'm fucking terrified of what I would be without her! The thing I am most terrified of is her fucking leaving because I don't want ta fucking be alive when that happens!"

Mathew wrapped his arms around the older man and sighed, "You silly old man. You haven't realized how much Clara loves you have you? If Clara had any doubts in her mind about staying with you she would never have moved in with you, Malcolm. I know my sister and you are her soul mate. She will be bickering with you and worrying about you until the day you die. She has never been this involved with anyone I have seen her with over the years. She will stay with you either way but I think you should let her decide if she wants to wear your ring. Just ask her and let her chose how you stay together. Don't you think she deserves the chance to make that choice?"

Malcolm pulled away and replied, "I'll.....think about it."

Mathew kissed the older man's cheek and replied, "Well that better than a flat out no at any rate. Now I suppose I should go home and start dinner." 

Malcolm wasn't usually a tactile man with anyone except Clara but he grabbed Mathew's hand and squeezed it. He said, "Thank ye for being my friend. I have very few o' those."

Mathew smiled and replied, "Why wouldn't I? I love you."

Malcolm answered, "And love is a promise."

Mathew replied, "Yes, Malcolm. The most important one in life. Ronnie taught me that."

Malcolm let go of Mathew's hand and watched him go. He went back to work thinking about what Mathew had told him. He had all ready promised his life to Clara when he fell in love with her. He loved her enough to want to be married to her but he felt if he asked her to marry him and she said yes that he was not doing the right thing by her. What about children or growing old together? He was already old and past having children. If it happened that Clara got pregnant he wouldn't reject or not love the child. No he'd make sure the kid knew he loved them. He'd probably spoil the kid fucking rotten. He just thought he was too old and sickly to have children. He looked at his watch and scrubbed his hand down his face in frustration. He knew Clara had meetings with parents until 6pm so he went home and rummaged in his drawers until he found his mam's Russian blue 3K diamond and 1k blue topaz engagement ring that he had never considered using. It had been the only thing he had that was worth anything from his parents. He had thought about selling it many times but kept it because of sentimental value. He looked up to see Mathew standing by his door. He sighed, "Ye can come in."

Mathew sat on the bed next to Malcolm and looked at the gold ring the older man was holding. It had a teal colored center stone and two lighter blue stones on either side. He said, "That's a beautiful ring."

Malcolm replied, "Aye. It was my mam's engagement ring from da. I kept it after my mam gave it ta me when da died even when I thought about selling it...I just couldn't do it. I thought if I ever......chose a wife...I'd give it ta her as an engagement ring. Probably a stupid idea."  
Mathew replied, "No. It's not. This ring is better than one you would buy yourself because it means something to you. That the woman means so much to you that you gave her a ring that means something to you personally and not something that you could just not care about."

Malcolm asked, "Do ye think Clara...."

Mathew replied, "Clara would rather you give her a ring that has a emotional significance to you then one from a store. So yeah. I think Clara would love it. Needs a little shining and to make sure it will fit her but that's easily fixed. Then the choice is yours whether to give it to her or not."

Malcolm asked, "Do ye know anyone who can..."

Mathew said, "Yeah, Malcolm. I know someone who can take care of all of that. I know Clara's ring size and everything."

Malcolm closed the ring box and handed it to Mathew. He said, "Please take care of it for me. Tell no one else. Whatever the price I'll pay it. I'm going ta give to her whether I ask her ta marry me or not. She's the only one I'd ever give it ta and trust ta cherish it. It should be worn by someone as beautiful as Clara rather than sit in a box getting tarnished and dusty."

Mathew replied, "All right. I'll let you know the price soon as I find out." He would go to his friend's jewelry shop the next day and make sure the ring is properly taken care of for Malcolm. He felt bad for the older man because he just worries to much about even the smallest thing. He knew Clara had made her choice when she agreed to move in with the cranky bastard but try and explain that to Malcolm....You need to hit him over the head with a bloody sledgehammer to even try to get the point across. Malcolm was brilliant in some things but completely lost and dumb when it comes to the ways of the heart. He was very glad Ronnie wasn't as clueless as his cousin in love.

Malcolm went downstairs and out to the backyard for a cigarette before Clara got home. When he was done he came back in and decided to watch the news. He laid across the sofa with his feet up on the other and didn't realize he had fallen asleep until he opened his eyes to Clara squatting beside him. He rasped, "Clara? Sorry. What?"

Clara came home to Matty cooking and Malcolm fast asleep on the sofa. She waited until dinner was ready before she squatted beside Malcolm and shook him awake. She always thought he was adorable when he first wakes up. She said, "Hey, sleepy head. Time for dinner."

Malcolm sat up and scrubbed a hand over his face. He rasped, "Sorry. Coming. Just give me a minute ta wake up." After a few minutes he got up and joined everyone at the dining room table. He knew that Clara had started giving him decaffeinated tea and coffee. He figured it out a few days after she switched them on him when he got a massive headache. He was mad as a hornet at first but after he calmed down he knew she was just trying to help. He just didn't like it when she would do things behind his back. He had glared at her for days when she gave him a cup of coffee or tea so she knew that he knew what she did. He eventually just accepted his fate of being way more tired everyday than he used to be. He knew Clara had noticed his decline in energy. They hadn't made love in months because he was just too fucking tired to get it up. 

Clara was glad Malcolm stopped glaring at her over the switch she pulled on him but she never realized how much caffeine he needed just to function. He had crashed really bad and was finally starting to even out. She would try to turn him on and he'd fall fast asleep before she even got into bed. Now she if she was later than him coming she usually came home and found him asleep on the sofa or on their bed. She had been worried about the drastic change and was afraid his health was declining but Ronnie had told her the only reason Malcolm had been able to keep up with her had been all the caffeine in his system. The way Malcolm was acting now was what Ronnie described as decaffeinated Tortoise. She was to expect him to tire faster and not have as much energy as he used to have. Caffeine had been Malcolm's version of speed and now that he was off of it his real energy level was back which was very low. She thought about stealing his cigarettes a few times but knew he'd just buy more and then give her a bollocking because the only thing you did not mess with was his cigarettes. Anything else he's glare at you or not talk to you for a few days and get over it. Cigarettes? He'd rip your head off over and she found that out from Ronnie because he found out the hard way. 

When they went to bed he skipped his sleeping pill because he knew he'd conk out on Clara. He sat on the end of their bed with his head down and his hands clasped between his knees. He said, "I'm sorry....I haven't been much of a......partner lately. I know I haven't pleased ye with my....lack of intimacy. My lack of.....libido must be annoying. Every time ye have been.....in the mood....I fucking fall asleep on ye. It has nothing ta do with you....it's me. As ye can see I'm really just a fucking tired, sickly, run down, old man. I'm not a well man and I needed the fucking caffeine ta fucking stay awake. I don't... function very well without it. Ye deserve better that a man that is too tired to make love ta ye. I'm sorry."

Clara sat and the bed next to Malcolm and wrapped her arms around him and said, "It's all right. I'm not angry or upset. I love you and that's not going to change just because we aren't being intimate, you silly old man. I didn't move in with you just because you are great in bed. Granted that is a perk but not the reason. Sex isn't the only form of intimacy, Malcolm." She kissed his temple and started getting changed. She was surprised when she was spun around and their lips crushed together fighting for dominance. 

Malcolm watched her changing and knew what he had to do so he initiated the first and probably only love making that he would. He had them both naked very quickly and after he picked her up and set her down the bed he still couldn't believe this beautiful creature want him. He crawled on the bed beside her and kissed his way down her body worshiping every inch of her. He sucked and nipped at her nipples while he slipped two fingers inside of her and rubbed her nub with his thumb. He still had the ability to give her multiple orgasms and smiled devilishly against her breast. 

After what she could only guess to be a 6th? orgasm she pulled him up to her for a kiss before she turned tails on him and kissed her way down his body. She especially liked nipping and sucking her way around his soft protruding belly and smirked when he bucked and gasped. She knew that was a erotic spot on him for some reason and she enjoyed driving him over the edge by paying special attention to it. She sat on top of him after slipping him inside of her and rode him only changing speeds by cues until she felt him go ridged and release inside of her. She leaned down on his chest and smirked as she teased, "Yeah. Finally found your missing libido, handsome. Still great in bed too."

Malcolm for some reason just had to laugh at the timing of that statement and before you knew it they were both laughing. He was laughing so hard he had to roll to his side because he had a coughing fit. He rasped, "Sorry. Laughing to hard." They were both facing each other while he tried to catch his breath.

Clara ran the tips of her fingers over the curve of his belly and kissed the tip of his nose. She enjoyed how round his eyes got when he was surprised by that. 

Malcolm was surprised when Clara kissed his nose and asked, "What the fuck was that for?"

Clara teased, "I just love your nose. It's adorable just like your eyebrows."

Malcolm laughed, "Ye mean the fucking cross eyebrows? Careful who ye say that ta, eudail. Someone might think yer fucking mental."

Clara replied, "I don't care. I love every inch of you. The angry eyebrows, unusual nose, long lanky body with the soft protruding belly and everything else including your volatile personality. I just LOVE you!"

Malcolm chuckled, "I think ye are fucking mental but I'm not gonna argue with ye." He rolled onto his back and felt Clara curl into his side with her head on his shoulder and hand on the curve of his belly. He wrapped his one arm around her shoulders and rested his other hand next to hers after he kissed the top of her head. He swallowed and said, "Clara? I really do love ye."

Clara replied, "I know you do, Malcolm. I love you too."

Malcolm whispered, "Ye are the best thing that has ever happened ta me."

Clara replied, "I don't know what to say."

Malcolm replied, "It's all right. I just wanted ye ta know."

Clara replied, "If it helps..I wouldn't want anyone else to share my life. You make me feel very special."

Malcolm whispered, "Ye are special ta me and ye make me feel special too, eudail."

Clara replied, "You're special to me too. Night, Malcolm."

Malcolm sighed, "Night, Clara, my Clara."


	37. Wakeup Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Malcolm gets a great wake up call

When Malcolm started to slowly wake up the next morning he vaguely registered that his belly itched and scratched it automatically until it bothered him enough that he really started to wake up. As he actually truly woke up he registered two things. The first was that Clara's hair was what was making his belly itch. The second was why. As he watched her it registered she was giving him a blow job after that his mind went the fuck on vacation. At a certain point he felt the warning that he was going to come and stopped her. He growled, "Ye better stop unless ye want this to end before it fucking starts."

Clara gave him one last lick before moving up and smirking at him. She teased, "I figured how to woke you up for sex even when you are comatose. Have I got your attention yet?"

Malcolm pined her to the bed and loomed over. He growl, "Aye, my fucking minx. Ye got my undivided attention."

Clara teased, "Hmm. I can tell mini-Malcolm is at attention. Is Big Malcolm on the same page? Or is he still half asleep?"

Malcolm growled, "Oh don't worry, eudail. ALL o' me is awake now and wants ta fuck ye in ta the mattress."

Clara kissed his nose and said, "Good. Fuck away, Malcolm." She smirked at him when he groaned.

Malcolm groaned when she smirked at him. She fucking knew he was wrapped around her pinky. If she fucking asked him to jump of a cliff he would do it. He'd even go to hell and back for her. She was the only one that truly mattered to him in the world. Fuck who was he kidding she WAS his world. She was his light in the dark. She was a goddess and he'd worship her until he died. He kissed his way down her body paying special attention to her hot spots. He slid two fingers inside of her and was please at how slick she was all ready. He teased, "Been trying ta wake me up for a while?"

Clara groaned, "You have NO idea."

Malcolm kissed her lips and replied, "I guess I should make it worth the frustration then, hmm?" He loved how he could make his Clara wiggle and gasp beneath him. He liked using his fingers and thumb to stroke her to multiple orgasms before he made love to her because even though he was hard he wasn't distracted by it. He loved just watching her as she came to her climax over and over again. In his eyes she was the most beautiful woman in the world and she was most beautiful when she was approaching her orgasm. He could make her climax and watch the whole scene all day long if she'd let him. He didn't even really care about his own orgasm as long as he could watch hers over and over again. Her beautiful wide eyes blown and look of ecstasy on her face was worth it. Clara's ecstasy was his drug and he was high as a kite at times like these. Sadly she did stop him. 

Clara gasped, "Get inside me now!"

Malcolm chuckled, "Aye, lassie. Yer the boss." He adjust so that he'd have the right angle to hit her inner most sensitive spot every time he entered her. He hissed when her nails scratched his soft sides and while it stung he found ironically enough he liked it. He was always a masochistic bastard. He wondered for a second if she'd like to beat him with a whip and tie him up. Just that thought made him speed up. He felt her come right before he lost control and emptied inside of her while growling her name. He collapsed on top of her panting. He was going to roll off but her arms and legs went around him keeping him in place. He asked, "Aren't I squashing ye? I'm a lot.....fatter than I used ta be."

Clara kissed the top of his head and replied, "Stop that. You are pleasantly plump around the middle. Besides you look much healthier and younger with meat on your bones. Besides I like holding you after we make love. I haven't got to do it much lately."  
Malcolm sighed, "Usually the woman likes ta be held after sex. Not that I'm fucking complaining mind ye. I....like ta be held. I just never had anyone that wanted ta hold me. It was always the other way 'round. I could get used ta this. Yer tits are fucking wonderful pillows." He kissed the one e was currently using as a pillow.

Clara giggled and replied, "God I love you."

Malcolm replied, "I love ye too, my Clara."

Clara was running her fingers through his gray curls when the alarm clock buzzed. She giggled when Malcolm got more comfortable and groaned.

Malcolm groaned, "Fucking work is calling. I don't really give a fucking shite but hell awaits. Ye go take yer shower. I'll get mine after." He rolled onto his back and scrubbed a hand over his face.

Clara teased, "I know you are just trying to go back to sleep but that's all right." Clara kissed Malcolm's belly a few times before giving him a firm kiss on the lips.

Malcolm teased, "Ye got a fat belly fetish or something, Clara?"

Clara teased back, "Hmm. Well... No. I think it's just your "fat belly" I have a fetish for. I love that it reminds me of a round fuzzy soft pillow."

Malcolm laughed, "Ye Oswalds. Ye both have a fat belly fetish. Ye with mine and Mathew with Ronnie's. I'm not gonna complain though because I like the attention."

Clara teased, "At least I don't feel like I'll snap you in two anymore by hugging you. You used to remind me of a grey hair stick insect. Now you remind me of a gray haired pot belly teddy bear."

Malcolm groaned, "Fucking fuck me. Don't tell that ta anyone especially Ronnie. He's looking for something ta get me back for teasing him about being Mathew's pot bellied pussy cat."

Clara laughed, "I have to admit you both are adorable men with adorable pot bellies. I have to admit I'm glad Matty met Ronnie. They are adorable together."

Malcolm sighed, "Aye. They are a cute couple. Both gay as a fucking three dollar bill too. I never thought Ronnie fucking find anyone he truly was interested in. He wasn't called Ronnie "The Perv" Pillfrey because he had a fucking healthy relationship. He was afraid of intimacy so he acted like a fucking pervert to drive people away. His Hypomania just fucking amplified it. I thought both of us would die either living together like a fucking celibate married couple or old and alone. Then we met two fucking Oswalds that pulled us out of our shells."

Clara teased, "You still may wind up living together but you'll have us living with you."

Malcolm groaned, "Fucking fuck me. Just what I'd fucking need. My nymphomaniac cousin, his bend over backwards to please lover, and my control freak girlfriend. Oh fuck we'll have grand old fucking time!"

Clara lightly smack Malcolm's belly and smirked when it jiggled. She teased, "Oh you know you love us."

Malcolm sighed, "Aye. I do but I don't know that I wanna live with all o' ye."

Clara teased, "What more could you ask for? Two people that will take care of you when you are ill devotedly and a live in doctor. Probably every dying man's wet dream."

Malcolm replied, "Aye, lassie. Might be but I'm not dying yet!" He rolled them over so he was on top of her and kissed her passionately before said, "That feel dead?"

Clara giggled, "No. You are very much alive still. Good." She smiled and kissed him back before coaxing him to roll over. She gave him another quick peck on the nose and got up. She walked completely naked to the bathroom seductively swaying her hips. She smiled at Malcolm's groan.

Malcolm was half hard by now and watching her sashay into the bathroom wasn't helping. He knew it would go away pretty quick once she was out of sight. He groaned, "Ye are going ta be the death o' me, eudail. At least I'll die with a fucking smile on my face." He had a fucking smile on his face even now. As he got older he worried about his declining looks and libido. He was happy that Clara still wanted him and that little fucking nagging voice subsided for a bit. He never used to worry about his looks until he fucking met Clara because he never wanted to really spend his life with anyone like he did Clara. She was the one that he wanted for the rest of his life. When he died..he wanted it to be with her holding his hand as he took his last breath. If he believed in soul mates like Mathew does he'd say that Clara was his and he'd feel empty without her in his life. He was almost 60 years old and unhealthy. It worried him that someday it would probably start affecting his relationship with Clara. He only wanted to make her happy but someday he worried he may not be able to anymore. He saw Clara come out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel and sat up. He leaned his elbows on his thighs and hung his.

Clara noticed Malcolm's change in mood and sat next to him on the bed. She rubbed his back and asked, "What's the matter, Malcolm?"

Malcolm sat straighter and replied, "Just my mind going in ta overdrive again. Nothing ta worry yer pretty head about, eudail." He stiffly got off the bed and went to take his shower. After he was dressed he went downstairs to have breakfast with Clara and Mathew.

Mathew made breakfast and while they were sitting at the table he asked, "Clara? Do you mind if I borrow you bike today? I have a couple of errands to run and don't feel like fighting for a parking space for my car."

Clara replied, "Yeah you can borrow it, Matty. I can ride with Malcolm. There are no meetings tonight so it should be fine."

Mathew replied, "Thanks. You are a gem. I'll do the dishes when I get home. Just scrape them off and put them in the sink." He had to see about Malcolm's ring and he wanted to stop and see Ronnie. He kissed the top of Clara and Malcolm's heads as he ran out the door with her keys. 

Malcolm looked at Clara and said, "The fucking house isn't on fire is it?"

Clara laughed, "No. I think he just wants to see his boyfriend. It has been 2 weeks since they got some time together after all. I think Ronnie has today off."

Malcolm replied, "Forgot about that." He helped Clara put everything in the sink before they ran out the door and hopped in his car to get to work.


	38. Happy Moods Don't Last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Malcolm is inm a happy mood but after a disturbing event he started brooding and stressing again.

When they got there Malcolm walked through the front doors with Clara in tow. Clara grabbed his hand before he separated from her after they got through the doors. He turned around to look at her before he leaned down and kissed her firmly on the lips. He was still worried about Clara's reputation because of their relationship but he no long hid it. He would hug or kiss her in public and at the school. When they walked together he would wrap his arm around her back or hold her hand. 

Clara gently place a palm flat against the curve Malcolm's soft belly and looked up at him. She was happy when he got the message. She was glad that h need to hide their relationship like he used too. She was relieved he was more open about being affectionate in public even if it all was chaste. It was still more than she used to get. She kissed his cheek and said, "I'll see you for lunch, yeah?"

Malcolm made a silly half grin and replied, "Hhokay, boss."He kissed her forehead and they split up. He was in a rather happy mood all day and even having to clean off windows that said "The Scottie got laid" didn't even bother him on bit because he got laid twice in less than 12 hours. He got his libido back and he was whistling Scottish songs all day long while he worked. He didn't give a flying fuck if the staff and students looked at him as if he was fucking mental. A little before lunch he got a call from Mathew. He cheerfully answered, "Malcolm Tucker I got laid last night!"

Mathew laughed, "I thought you did. You also got laid this morning too. Good for you. I hope to get laid tonight but anyway. Wandering mind. Your ring. First of all it is the same size the Clara wears so it doesn't need to be changed. My friend cleaned it up, shined everything, and put a sealer on it to protect the stones. It is truly a beautiful ring."

Malcolm sighed, "All right bow tie boy...How much?"

Mathew replied, "Bout 100 pounds. She even fixed the brackets to makes sure the stones won't fall out. She also said if anything happens to it you can bring it back to her and she'll fix it for free. She did that one as a favor to me. "

Malcolm replied, "All right. When did she need the money?"

Mathew replied, "I took care of it. I had just enough to pay for it."

Malcolm stammered, "Ye didn't have ta do that."

Mathew chuckled, "I know. I wanted too."

Malcolm sighed, "All right. I'll pay ye back tonight."

Mathew replied, "OK but I hoping to go stay with Ronnie tonight. Where do you want me to put the ring?"

Malcolm replied, "Can ye keep it hidden in yer room until I'm ready for it?"

Mathew replied, "Sure. I'll find a place for it and when ye want it just let me know."

Malcolm replied, "Thanks for everything."

Mathew replied, "No Problem, my beloved brother-in-law. Bye!"

Malcolm laughed, "Fuckity bye." He tapped the phone against his lips before grinning widely.

Clara saw Malcolm grinning widely and said, "Look you so happy. That's rare."

Malcolm looked up and replied, "Aye. It is at that, eudail."

Clara replied, "You look happy. I like you like that."

Malcolm replied, "Why shouldn't I be happy? I have a beautiful woman living with me that loves me and still wants me to share her bed. The fucking fact that yer the woman is the cherry on top of the sundae. For me that's fucking Nirvana!"

Clara teased, "You're just happy because you got laid aren't you?"

Malcolm looked sheepish before saying, "Aye. A bit but mostly just because of you."

Clara walked over and placed her palm flat against his belly and she knew he would automatically lean towards her. It had sort of became a signal to tell him she wanted a kiss. She said, "That's sweet. Thank you."

Malcolm leaned down and kissed Clara firmly on the lips. He hadn't expected her to deepen the kiss but he wasn't about to complain. When they pulled apart for air he rasped, "I'll do anything for ye, Clara. Anything."

Clara smiled and replied, "How about going to lunch with me?"

Malcolm rasped, "Yer the boss." They walked to a nearby diner for lunch. He lit a cigarette as they walked and finished it. He lit another one but didn't finish it by time they got there. He said, "Go on. I'll be there in a minute."

Clara asked, "What if You not in to order?"

Malcolm took a drag and replied, "Ye know what I usually like. Just make sure ye get me a fucking Fanta, hhokay?"

Clara groaned, "Fine. But I'm watching you. You better get your ass in here as soon as this cigarette is done." She stood in the doors and gave him the I'm watching you sign before going in.

Malcolm replied, "Aye, boss." He finished the cigarette and put it out in the pot nearby for butts before going in shaking his head. Clara had parked herself with a perfect line of sight to make sure he didn't have another cigarette. He internally chuckled at her determination. He sat across from her and looked at the menu. He eventually decided on a chicken salad sandwich and crisps with a Fanta.

Clara decided to get a Cheeseburger and chips with a coke. She giggled at Malcolm's jokes and listened to his stories. She had always considered him to be a humorous man when he actually tried to be. She suddenly noticed he had stopped talking and was just staring adoringly at her. She asked, "What?"

Malcolm just loved looking at Clara. He loved watching her eat, read, teach, cook, clean, anything. He had to admit that he usually offers to help clean or whatever so he can just watch her when she's not looking. He finally answered, "Ye are so beautiful, eudail. It still baffles me that ye can be attracted ta me. It's not like I'm young and pretty."

Clara holds her hand out and he gave her one of his. She ran her thumb over his wrinkled hands with long thin fingers. She said, "I don't have the slightest interest in pretty young men remember? I prefer older, chubby, handsome men with elegant long fingers and volatile personalities. In other words Malcolm, you ARE my type and I love you to pieces. I love everything about you and every part of your middle aged body."

Malcolm replied, "I'm sorry. I just.....worry."

Clara replied, "You have nothing to worry about. I wouldn't have moved in with you unless I planned to drive you crazy for the rest of your life. We probably should get back to the school."

Malcolm looked at his watch and said, "Fuck! Aye. We are going ta be late." He paid their bill and they practically ran back to the school. He had to stop and lean on his thighs gasping for air when his chest started to hurt like hell. He waved Clara on with his hand. He rasped, "I'm fine. Just have ta catch my breath. Go ye'll be late!" When she reluctantly kept going he leaned back against the wall of the building behind him clutching his chest and gritting his teeth. Running not an option for him anymore. Way too painful. After his breathing started to go back to normal the pain in his chest subsided and went away. He walked the rest of the way back and went straight to the caretaker building where he collapsed on the stool exhausted. Eventually he went back to work like nothing even happened. After school let out he was waiting by the car having a cigarette when he saw Clara coming out of the school. 

Clara had been worried about Malcolm the rest of the day but just didn't have the time to check on him. She was relieved when she saw him leaning against his car having a bloody cigarette. She put her bag in the back before coming around to his side and placing a hand on his arm. She asked, "You all right, Malcolm?"

Malcolm blew out the smoke and replied, "Aye. I'm fine, eudail. Just needed ta rest a bit. Not used ta running a fucking marathon anymore. Haven't ran anywhere since I left Number 10."

Clara replied, "All right but you better not be lying. If I find out you are I will slap you so hard your teeth will come loose."

Malcolm flicked the butt to the ground and ground it out with his shoe before rasping, "Aye, Boss." He had to admit he loved her domineering side. Her control freak nature really fucking turned him on. There was nothing like being fucking bitch slapped by Clara Oswald. The first time she did it was early in their relationship before he truly trusted her. He never would have fucking known a tiny woman like her could literally fucking smack the shit out of him. He couldn't even remember what they were fighting about but he had called her a "fucking backstabbing cunt" and she smacked him so hard he reeled around, tripped and fell over her desk. He wound up landing hard at an angle that left him with a broken wrist and a black and blue on his cheek for weeks. She also didn't talk to him for a week and it was fucking worse than what happened at Downing Street. That's when he found out being dominated and slapped around by Clara made him hard as a rock. The only reason that erection went down was because of the pain from his broken wrist. He also learned after that never to fight with Clara at work. He didn't care if she fucking broke every bone in his body as long as she talked to him again. He brought her flowers, chocolates, presents and nothing worked until he got on his knees in front of her whole class with his head down and begged her to forgive him. He willingly humiliated himself submissively in front of her class to get her to forgive him. She was so stunned that she accepted his apology. 

Clara noticed a faraway look on Malcolm's face and snapped her fingers in front of his face and sternly said, "Oi. You going to get in the car or am I going to leave your cranky ass here?"

Malcolm looked at her and replied, "Sorry. Coming boss." He got in the passenger's side of the car and let her drive. He smiled at how well after that episode she started giving him orders and enjoyed that he obeyed them without question. It started out as simple things like "get me a coffee" or "go fetch lunch" or "Eat your dinner." and at first he didn't even catch on to the fact that she was testing his obedience. What finally clued his sluggish brain in was when she started telling him "Knees now" or "Sit. Stay." or an obvious give away was "Strip naked now. Then lay on the bed and wait for me." and so started the orders in the bedroom which gave him a thrill that effectively made him hard as a rock. Now it just comes naturally that when she uses her firm commanding tone of voice he automatically obeys whatever order she gives without thinking. Mathew thought it hilarious and said things like "Your training is coming along nicely" or "She finally found a man who likes to take orders. Believe me she LOVES to give them too." and Clara would smack her brother hard on the arm.

Clara was still worried because it wasn't like Malcolm to drift off somewhere else to where he was unaware of anything around him. When they got home she had to snap him back from where he had wandered to again. He really was distracted today for some reason. What surprised her was after they went to bed she woke up at 3 in the morning and he wasn't in bed and the sheets were cold on his side. She got up and wandered downstairs and found him in the backyard sitting in a patio chair in his pajamas smoking a cigarette. She sat in the chair across from him and asked, "What's the matter, Malcolm? Don't you lie to me."

Malcolm had woken up at 2am and couldn't get back to sleep so he just slipped out of bed and went outside for a cigarette and to just sit there hoping he'd maybe get tired enough to go back to sleep. He hadn't expected Clara to wake up and come looking for him. He took a drag on the cigarette and blew the smoke out as he said, "I'm fine, Clara. It's just my insomnia acting up again. I just couldn't sleep. Sorry I disturbed ye, eudail. I thought leaving would help."

Clara sighed, "Malcolm, I'm so used to your tossing and turning that what woke me up was I noticed the lack of movement. I know you pretty well by now. I know something is bothering you and it started after lunch. You going to tell me sooner or later."

Malcolm wasn't ready to tell her about why he stopped running or what went through his mind. He doubted it was anything serious at the moment but it did make him realized that he needed to change everything in his will. His first worry was her if he dropped dead. Both her and Mathew currently lived with him. He could ask Ronnie to move in with them if he died. He knew Ronnie would take care of bow tie boy but he needed to make sure Clara was taken care of as well. He knew she was capable of being on her own but it was his job to make sure she'd be all right without him. He had to see his lawyer about changing a bunch of shit around to make sure Clara was taken care of if he died. He didn't plan on dying for a while but with his shitty health he wanted to be prepared.

Clara sighed, "If you're not going to talk to me can we at least go back to bed? No I'm not going without you."

Malcolm took a last drag on the cigarette before crushing out in the ashtray. He replied, "Aye. I'll come back ta bed if it'll help ye sleep better." He followed her back to their bedroom and let he curl into his side with her head on his shoulder and hand resting on his soft belly. He felt her fall almost immediately to sleep. He sometimes envied her ability to fall asleep so quickly at times. He finally nodded off about an hour later.


	39. Clara's Security

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Malcolm makes sure Clara will be all right without him.

The next morning Malcolm Took Clara and dropped her at work telling her he had some errands to run but he'd be back in time to take her home. He called his lawyer and got an appointment for that afternoon. He called Ronnie and told the younger man he was picking him up at noon.

Ronnie had to rearrange his whole schedule of appointments to go with Malcolm but knew it had to be important for his cousin to drag him out of work. When he got in Malcolm's car he asked, "All right. What is this all about?"

Malcolm replied, "I'm redoing my will and insurance policies. Ye are the only person that I want ta know about it. I need ye ta handle things that my lawyer doesn't if I die."

Ronnie put his doctor's bag in the back seat and put on his seat belt. He said, "All right. What happened? Don't try ta bullshite me. I 've known ye for over 50 years."

Malcolm sighed, "We went ta lunch yesterday and had ta run back or Clara would be late for her class. I had ta stop because I had chest pains and couldn't breathe. It did subside after I was breathing normally but I realized if I died Clara.....wouldn't even have a place ta live let alone anything else."

Ronnie sighed, "Hhokay .Did ye even bother ta tell Clara about the chest pain?"

Malcolm replied, "No."

Ronnie groaned, "Malcolm!! Ye should have told her."

Malcolm replied, "No. I'm fine. I just want ta make sure she's taken care off in case anything does happen. I know you'll make sure bow tie boy is taken care of but Clara.."

Ronnie sighed, "I'd be there for Clara as well. She's my family 2 times over now because I'm with her brother and ye are with her. If I have ta I'd sell my place and move in yours or move then in ta mine."

Malcolm replied, "Thanks." When they got to the lawyer he changed his will to effectively give Clara everything. He changed his car title to add Clara's name as co-owner. He had five life insurance policies that he had divided between Ronnie and Anne. Now he changed them so that Clara got 2, Mathew, Ronnie, and Anne 1 each. He also made sure to put the house in Clara and Mathew's names with him have life time residency. He made it perfectly clear that it was only between his lawyer, Ronnie and himself until he died. When asked about if Clara left him he simply replied, "It won't matter. I'll be dead anyway." He knew Ronnie understood he meant that if Clara left him he would just kill himself and she would still get everything. His lawyer agreed to take care of everything to put it in to affect. He dropped Ronnie off at his office before going to pick Clara up from work. He felt less worried now that he knew Clara would be all right without him. 

Clara got in the car and asked, "You get your errands done?"

Malcolm replied, "Yep."

Clara said, "You seem to be in a little better of a mood. I'm glad."

Malcolm replied, 'It was just fucking shite I should have done sooner but kept putting it the fuck off." He felt Clara take the hand he had placed on his thigh and entwine their fingers together. He gave her a small smile and squeezed her hand. When they got home he lit a cigarette and said, "Go make sure bow tie boy isn't setting the kitchen on fire. I'll be in shortly." He knew Mathew was an excellent cook but he was clumsy so he had to tease both siblings once and a while about it. He got a smack on the arm from her before she went in the house. When he went in he was wrapped in Mathew's arms. He said, "Hello ta ye too." He was getting used to being hugged half to death when he walked in the door and kind of liked it even though he wasn't about to tell the big klutz that. He was even used to the firm peck on the lips his overly affectionate "brother-in-law" gave him all the time.

Clara had told him that Malcolm had acted rather secretive since last night but the older man looks a little calmer today. He said, "Hey, Malcolm. Everything all right?"

Malcolm replied, "Aye. Everything is fine, Mathew. I'm just tired."

Mathew replied, "Good. Why don't you go lay down on the sofa and take a nap? It'll be about an hour before dinner's ready."

Malcolm sighed, "Yeah. Think I need ta. Thanks." He took his shoes off and laid down in the sofa and was almost instantly asleep. He woke up sometime later when he felt someone shaking his arm. He opened his eyes and saw Mathew squatting in front of him. He rasped, "Where's Clara?"

Mathew replied, "She had to run out to get a few things. She should be back shortly. Feeling any better?"

Malcolm rasped, "A bit."

Mathew squeezed Malcolm's arm and replied, "Good. Time to have dinner. Oh there's Clara." He heard the door open and stood up.

Clara came over to Malcolm and said, "I got you a fucking Fanta and a bunch of tangerines.." She smiled at him when he laughed.

Malcolm replied, "Thanks, Clara."

Clara leaned down and kissed the top of his head and replied, "You're welcome. Now come eat. Don't want you to become a stick insect again."

Malcolm replied, "With ye riding my fucking ass about eating? Not gonna happen." He ate dinner with them listening to Clara tell them about her annoying day with her students. He put his dishes in the sink and attacked the bowl of tangerines eating about 4 of them before he realized and stopped. He only clued in because they were both watching him with amusement. He looked sheepish and rasped, "Sorry. I..."

Clara placed her hand over his and replied, "It's fine. We're just happy that you are eating something without being poked and prodded. I should buy tangerines more often if you love them that much."

Malcolm replied, "I used ta have a big bowl of them in my office at Downing Street. Sometimes was the only thing I fucking ate all day. Would go thought the whole fucking bowl while swearing at some dumb fucking cunt over the phone." He cleaned up his peels and threw them away before going back to the living room to put his shoes on. He was at the door putting his coat on and said, "I'm away for a walk. I'll be back in a while." He walked to a nearby park and sat on a bench to have a cigarette. 2 cigarettes later he finally got up and walked home. When he got home he left his coat on the coat rack and went upstairs to put away his shoes in his closet. He went back downstairs and wound up falling asleep on the sofa as the meat in an Oswald sandwich. They were all watching TV but Mathew was also drawing in his sketch book. Clara woke him up for his pills and shoved him off to bed with her. He barely registered her slipping in next to him before he was asleep.


	40. Anne visits.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Malcolm's sister drops by unannounced

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a different take on his sister. I decided to be daring. Also heated debate over gays.

A couple of months later Mathew was doing the house work and there was a knock on the door. He opened it and was surprised to see a thin, tall, 40is woman with 2 children. The boy was about 8 and the girl about 6. He said, "Oh. Hello. May I help you?"

Anne hadn't seen her brother in over a year and had few phone calls. She was surprised when a young man dressed in Victorian style clothing answered the door. She said, "I'm looking for Malcolm Tucker. He's...my brother."

Mathew replied, "Oooh. You must be Anne. Please come in. Malcolm's at work. He should be home in about...an hour. I'm Mathew by the way."

Anne replied, "Nice to meet you. These are my children George and Cindy."

Mathew smiled and asked, "Can I get you anything to drink?"

Anne replied, "Juice for them if he has it and cup of tea for me if it's not too much trouble."

Mathew replied, "No trouble." He got what Anne asked for and went back to cleaning. 

Anne asked, "Are you the house keeper?"

Mathew chuckled, "That's one job I do. I also cook, do laundry, run errands, and a few other things."

Anne was surprised but nothing as surprising as her brother coming in the door and the younger man running over and hugging and kissing him on lips. Then she saw a young woman following behind Malcolm. She was about to say something when the kids ran over yelling "uncle Malcolm" and wrapped themselves around his legs.

Malcolm had been surprised by his niece and nephew wrapping their arms around his legs. He said, "George? Cindy? What are ye doing here?"

Anne said, "Malcolm. You care to explain that woman and the man that kissed you?"

Malcolm groaned, "Ye aren't my fucking keeper, Annie. This is Clara. She's my fucking girlfriend. Not that it's really your business if ye are gonna fucking come in MY home and fucking interrogate me! The man that kissed me is her brother Mathew. They both fucking live here."

Clara yelled, "Malcolm! Watch your bloody language!"

Malcolm sighed, "Could ye or Mathew take the kids ta the park for a bit?" He watched Clara take the kids after Anne told them it was all right to go with her. 

Anne said, "So are you shagging both of them? That has to be weird."

Malcolm yelled, "I'm fucking shagging Clara. Mathew id fucking shagging Ronnie. Besides they aren't even fucking blood siblings! Although I don't see how that is really any of YER fucking business!"

Anne yelled, "Never can be sure with you after Jamie can I?!"

Malcolm hissed, "Ye still angry that I fucked Jamie? Well surprise! I like fucking men and women!"

Anne replied, "It was bad enough having one fairy in the family with Ronnie! At least he wasn't my brother!"

Malcolm hissed, "I fucking told ye a long time ago ta either get the fuck past yer hang up on homosexuals or I don't want ye fucking around me. Yer my sister and I love ye but I'm not fucking going ta put up with this fucking bullshite! Ronnie has always been there when I fucking needed him ta be. Just because he's gay doesn't make him diseased Anne. He had the worst childhood and ye treat him like a fucking spawn of Satan or something just because he doesn't fucking fit yer little BOX of a fucking ideals? That make ye now better than a hypocritical fucking cunt!"

Anne replied, "He's going to go to hell for sodomy, so is that man in there and YOU as well. Another thing..Have you even married that woman, Malcolm!"

Malcolm hissed, "At least I'll be with the people that fucking truly love me then. As for Clara and my relationship with her it isn't any of your fucking business. When Clara comes back I'd like ye ta fucking leave my house, ye self righteous cunt! Just because ye are married ta a homophobic cunt of a minister it doesn't mean ye are right! Just because two men like Mathew and Ronnie love one another doesn't make it wrong. That's like saying a straight couple being in love is wrong. If ye ever grow up please let me know. Until then do us both a fucking favor and stay away from me." He hated that his sister and him didn't get along but he wasn't going to ever agree with her. He felt bad for the kids because they never get to see him or Ronnie because of their....proclivities but he wasn't going to stand by and let her hurt Ronnie or Mathew just because they are gay. When Anne and the kids left he was sitting in a lawn chair in his backyard smoking a cigarette. He heard Mathew trip over the thresh hold of the sliding door.

Mathew asked, "You all right, Malcolm?"

Malcolm licked his lips and replied, "Yep."

Mathew said, "Thank you for....standing up for me and Ronnie. That means a lot to me."

Malcolm replied, "Ye don't deserve ta be treated like a disease just because ye love a man instead of a woman. It isn't HER place ta say what is right and what is wrong. She gotten worse since she married that fucking minister. Ye know he won't even allow gays in his church? Wouldn't let me in either once Anne told him about Jamie. I rarely get ta see my niece and nephew because he doesn't want a fucking "faggot" corrupting them. Ronnie isn't even allowed near them except when we used ta visit my mam in Glasgow for Christmas. That's only because she won't put up with Henry's fucking bullshite. Mam doesn't care if Ronnie's gay. Actually last time I talked to her she had said she wanted ta meet ye and Clara. I'm going ta have ta do it sooner or later. Maybe all of us should go together."

Mathew replied, "I can talk to Ronnie about it. I would like to meet your mum. I just don't know if she'll like me."

Malcolm laughed, "She'll fucking love ye. How is the pussy cat anyway?"

Mathew sighed, "Overworked and grumpy."

Malcolm replied, "Aye. Those are two things we have in common. Grumpiness and the tendency to work ourselves ta death. I will tell ye this. Ronnie adores ye and he may work too much but he misses ye. Don't ye ever doubt his love for ye. He wouldn't be still with ye if he didn't." He realized he was gesturing with the cigarette still in his hand and tapped the ashes off the end. 

Mathew sighed, "I don't doubt he loves me. I just wish we could spend more time together. Not seeing him for weeks is torture."

Malcolm replied, "Just remember ye aren't the only one dealing with that feeling, Mathew."

Mathew replied, "I know. It's just hard."

Malcolm replied, "No relationship worth having is easy. There are always bumps in the road."

Mathew leaned down and kissed Malcolm's cheek. He said, "Thanks."

Malcolm smiled and replied, "Yer welcome." He watched Mathew go back in the house and crushed out his cigarette and closed his eyes. Eventually he decided to go back inside. He dumped his ashtray and washed it out before leaving it on the counter. He looked at the time and decided to take his pills and go to bed. He was half asleep when Clara curled up next to him with her head on his shoulder and hand flat against his soft belly after she snuck her hand under his shirt.

Clara said, "Matty told me what happened with your sister."

Malcolm sighed, "She has no right to judge anyone and neither does her husband. Only God can judge ye if ye believe in that sort of thing."

Clara sighed, "No she doesn't but many people do because they are either uneducated or just hateful people. It's just as bad as assuming only gays have or can get AIDS. Ridiculous. AIDS didn't even start in the gay community. It started in the straight community in Africa."

Malcolm yawned and replied, "Aye, eudail. Fucking judgmental bastards. I'm sorry but I'm falling asleep, love."

Clara leaned up and kissed his cheek before settling back down. She said, "Night, Malcolm. I love you."

Malcolm kissed the top of Clara's head and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. He mumbled, "Night, my Clara. Love ye too." 

Clara felt bad that there was so much discord between Malcolm and his sister but knew she couldn't do anything about it. She eventually drifted off to sleep listening to Malcolm's purr like snore.


	41. Linda Strikes Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas at the Oswalds, Linda's charming as ever, and a surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meanings  
> \--------  
> Mo ionmhuin - My beloved  
> Mi gràdh thu - I love you  
> deagh oidhche - Good Night  
> eudail - Sweetheart
> 
> Put downs, insults and swearing abound in this chapter.

Before Malcolm realized it was Christmas again. He knew he had to go to the Oswalds for Christmas but the 4 of them had agreed to go see his mam for New Years. So here he was on Dave Oswald's doorstep with Clara for the second Christmas with them. This time he had Mathew and Ronnie right behind him. He wasn't looking forward to dealing with Linda again or Clara's gran spending the day pinching his arse again. The only thing he can hop is that she'll get fixated on Ronnie's plumper more pinch able arse instead of his for a change. He was relieved when Dave answered the door. He smiled and said, "Hello, Dave."

Dave Oswald didn't expect Malcolm Tucker to show up for Christmas again but he was happy to see his kids. It wasn't fair to expect Clara to come without her boyfriend. He shook hands with the tall gray haired man and replied, "Malcolm, Merry Christmas. Thank you for bringing Clara and Mathew."

Malcolm said, "I'll go if me being here is a problem. Last year was a fucking mess."

Dave replied, "No. Linda needs to learn what battles to fight. Who's this? He looks a lot like you only more heavy set." He finally caught sight of the younger version of Malcolm next to Mathew. This man had curly brown hair that was just starting to go gray at the temples, rounder face and a rather round protruding belly. He was more surprised when the man had a very similar voice and the same accent.

Ronnie held out his hand and replied, "Ronnie Pilfrey. Nice to meet ye, Dave."

Mathew said, "Ronnie is Malcolm's cousin and my boyfriend, dad."

Dave replied, "Well. Welcome to the family, Ronnie. Please come in everyone."

Mathew saw Gran and said, "Merry Christmas, Gran." He kissed her cheek.

Gran saw the two men that looked a lot alike and said, "The sexy one with gray hair I remember from last year but whose the cute pudgy one?"

Mathew replied, "The cute pudgy one is my boyfriend Ronnie, gran."

Gran sighed, "He's gay? That's a shame. I could have shown you a good time. If you ever change your mind...." She pinched his lovely ass on the way by anyway.

Mathew smirked at Ronnie's shocked expression and the loud "ow" he heard. He said, "She really likes you. She likes to pinch bums. She had a thing for Malcolm last year. Still does apparently." he heard an "ow" from Malcolm as well. He led Ronnie over to the sofa and they sat down together. He laced his fingers with Ronnie's and rested their hands on the older man's thigh. 

Ronnie sighed, "At least she doesn't like to pinch bellies. I'm the biggest target for it."

Mathew chuckled, "Well I love your round belly. Your bum is also round and I love that too." He tickled the side of the older man's pot belly with his free hand knowing Ronnie was ticklish. After a while he stopped and kissed the older man's cheek.

Linda walked into the room and drawled, "Great we have the whore, the faggot, the velociraptor, and a fat faggot to round it out this year. Well Mathew you couldn't keep the skinny good looking one? Now you have a middle aged fat carbon copy of the velociraptor over that? Where'd you find him? Garbage dump?"

Malcolm hissed, "If I were ye Linda I shut up before the velociraptor goes for yer fucking throat. Ye are insulting my family."

Linda laughed, "Honestly Tucker. You are just a has been Politian that got himself fucked by the government."

Malcolm hissed, "Ye really want ta do this here?"

Linda replied, "Have you even married my whore of a stepdaughter yet? I'm actually surprised she's still with you. This is the3 longest the slut has stayed with one man."

Malcolm hissed, "I told ye not ta talk about Clara like that, ye cunt."

Linda said, "As for the faggot...Well guess we know he has the hots for you as he found a duplicate of you. Although he's quite a bit fatter than you are. Guess we can't have everything can we?"

Malcolm yelled, "Right. That's it ye fucking bitch. Clara is NOT a whore. The fat duplicate is my cousin. He is a fucking brilliant doctor. Ye know what? So Ronnie fat..So what? That doesn't fucking tell ye a fucking thing about who he is and ye have no right ta judge him because he's got a big round belly. Ye also have no fucking right ta judge him or Mathew because they are GAY. I have no fucking idea what Dave saw in ye when he fucking married ye. Ye are a fucking bigoted, judgmental fucking bitch of a cunt!" He stood by Ronnie, Clara and Mathew and wagged his finger between the three and said, "They are MY family! These 3 are MINE and I will NOT stand by while ye insult them just because ye don't like them."

Linda laughed, "Oh. You're the alpha then. The male dog surround by his bitches. They wouldn't even know how to fight their own battles if they tried. When you finally kick the bucket they'll all be screwed without you."

Malcolm yelled, "Ye can just fuck the fuck off, darling. I'm to fucking mean ta die. Heaven don't fucking want me and I'd fucking Rule Hell!"

Dave finally stood up and said, "Linda stop baiting the man for pete's sake. Why can't we just have one bloody peaceful Christmas?"

Linda sneered, "Because the whore and faggot keep dropping by with their consorts."

Dave said, "That whore and faggot are MY children, Linda!"

Linda sneered, "I don't care who they are. They are not welcome here with these.....creatures."

Dave yelled, "This is MY house. My children AND their partners are welcome here until I die!"

Linda sneered, "We'll see about that."

Malcolm watched her walk away and mutter, "Hoity toity tinker, tailor, soldier, cunt, bitch."

Dave sighed, "I'm sorry about Linda. I meant what I said about all of you. Malcolm I don't like that you fight with her but I can't blame you for defending your family. I can't deny she started it."

Malcolm replied, "I am only sorry because it was in yer home but I am not fucking sorry for telling that hoity toity fucking bitch off. I will not allow her to treat Ronnie, Clara or Mathew like that without cramming it up her fucking arse. Now if ye'll excuse me I'm going ta have a fucking cigarette." He went out on the back porch and lit a cigarette. He took a long drag and held it in for a minute before exhaling and scrubbing a hand down his face. Oh how he hated that woman. He was so fucking glad he only had to deal with her once a year. He could feel his blood pressure going through the roof. He looked over at the sound of the door opening. Of course it would be Ronnie.

Ronnie leaned on the railing next to Malcolm and lit a cigarette of his own. He knew Malcolm's blood pressure had to be up. He put a hand to the older man cheek and was surprised when he didn't flinch away.

Malcolm sighed, "I know what ye are doing. Aye my blood pressure is high. I fucking hate that cunt. She pulled this shite last year too. I didn't want ye ta come without someone ta tell her the fuck off but I wasn't looking forward to it."

Ronnie took a puff on his cigarette before replying, "Ye need ta not let it bother ye so much. Some day it may wind up giving ye a stroke. I'd rather not have ta deal with ye after a stroke. Yer a hard enough patient now. Only good thing might be that ye won't be able ta run away."

Malcolm replied, "Haha, Ronnie. Ye are fucking hilarious. Why don't ye go back and canoodle with yer boyfriend?"

Ronnie asked, "Would ye rather I sent Clara out her ta make sure ye didn't have a stroke?"

Malcolm grimaced and sighed, "No. Rather ye didn't. All right let's go back in." He flicked his cigarette butt into the snow and walked back inside. He went and sit in the rocker he had been in last year while Ronnie sat down next to Mathew. Dinner was a pain in the fucking arse with Linda commenting on how much Ronnie ate (which was only a normal portion) or how little he ate and basically trying to tell them how to live their lives. He knew Ronnie's weight was tied to his medication but that was none of the fucking opinionated cunt's business. It wasn't tied to his cousin overeating, lack of exercise, to many sweets or any of that shite. It was all he could do to keep his gob shut and he only did it when Ronnie weakly smiled at him to tell him to let it go. He couldn't wait until they finally went home. He knew Mathew was going home with Ronnie so he didn't bother to leave the house unlocked. He had locked up and taken his pills before going upstairs.

Clara came into their bedroom to see Malcolm playing with a black jewelry box. She sat on the bed next to him and said, "Malcolm?"

Malcolm looked up and gave her a nervous smile. He said, "Um, Clara. I all ready am committed ta ye for the rest of my life and ye'll always have my heart. I.....I never planned on doing this because if ye ever wanted ta be free o' me it would be easier the way things are but.....Clara Oswald......will ye.....will ye marry me? If ye don't want ta it's fine. I want ye ta have this ring anyway. I just thought I'd ask...." He opened the box that held his mam's ring and showed her it.

Clara's hand went to her face when she gasped in surprise. She looked at the ring and replied, "Yes. Yes, Malcolm Tucker. I'll marry you!"

Malcolm asked, "Really?"

Clara wrapped her arms around him and replied, "Yes really, you silly daft old man."

Malcolm whispered, "Oh, Clara, my Clara. I love ye so much. Thank ye for accepting my heart." He had started to cry and he felt Clara holding onto him tightly and kissing his temple. When he managed to stop crying he took the ring out of the box and moved the sapphire ring she was wearing to her right hand and placed his mam's ring on her left ring finger.

Clara looked at the ring and said, "It's beautiful, Malcolm."

Malcolm rasped, "Not as beautiful as ye are, my Clara." He kissed her firmly on the lips before stripping to his boxers and getting into bed with Clara soon following him with just her panties and a tank top. He whispered I wanted ta ask ye for months."

Clara asked, "Why didn't you asked me before now?"

Malcolm rasped, "I was terrified ye'd say no."

Clara leaned up on her elbow and looked at his face. He really had been afraid she'd say no. She asked, "Why would I?"

Malcolm rasped, "I figured eventually ye'll tire of me. I'm old, soft, sickly, and my libido is not as good at it was when we met. Ye don't have ta take my name. I'll probably only cause ye problems."

Clara put her hand against his cheek and replied, "You are such an idiot. I made my choice when I moved in with you that I was going to be with you until you take your last breath whenever that may be, my beloved Pepper."

Malcolm whispered, "Ye haven't called me that in months. I used ta feel special when ye called me that. I thought when ye stopped...."

Clara sighed, "That I was getting sick of you? That you weren't special anymore? Oh, Malcolm. You really are still insecure aren't you? No I'm not even sure why I stopped using it really. It's kind of like how you used to always tell me "I love you" in Gaelic but you stopped."

Malcolm replied, "I finally found the bollocks ta say it in English."

Clara kissed Malcolm's cheek and replied, " I kind of liked the Gaelic version. I also liked all the little pet names you had for me. It made me feel really special."

Malcolm replied, "Oh. I never thought of it that way. Least not from yer point of view. I can go back ta that if ye want me ta."

Clara sighed, "I'd like that, Pepper."

Malcolm rasped, "Hhokay. Ye are always very special ta me." He was rubbing his hand gently up and down her back and he felt her running her fingers around his soft belly in random patterns. After a half hour he felt his sleeping pill kick in and mumbled, " Deagh oidhche, Mo ionmhuin. Mi gràdh thu, eudail."

Clara kissed his nipple that was next to her lips and replied, " Good night. I love you too. Malcolm." She fell asleep the happiest woman in the world.


	42. Disaster Strikes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disaster strikes and Clara has to rely on Ronnie to lean on.

The next morning Malcolm woke up when his brain registered Clara was drawing patterns on his belly. He mumbled, "Ye all right, eudail?"

Clara kissed his nipple lightly and replied, "Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

Malcolm rolled onto his side so he could look at her. He wrapped his arm around her waist and coaxed her to come closer. He noticed she wasn't looking at him and still preoccupied with her drawings on his belly only her hand had moved to the side of his belly. He sighed, "Ye seem rather preoccupied, love."

Clara was trying to figure out how to tell Malcolm she was pregnant. She didn't think he even wanted to have kids and she had missed a dose of her pill and now she was carrying his child. She had never thought Malcolm would ask her to marry her because it didn't seem he was the marrying type. She was also glad she hadn't told him last night about the baby because she would have felt she had made him propose because of guilt. She forced a smile and replied, "Sorry just have a lot on my mind, Pepper." She lightly kissed his lips and got out of bed to get dressed and make breakfast.

Malcolm was seriously worried now. There was an elephant in the room and he was afraid he was to blame. He sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face before going to shower and dress. He should never have asked her to marry him. Now she was withdrawn and he was lost as what to do about it. He cursed, "Jesus fucking Christ, Malcolm. Ye are a fucking idiot! Ye should have known better. Fucking retarded! That's what ye are!" He banged his head against the tile wall and groaned. When he had finished verbally berating himself he got out of the shower and dressed. He ate breakfast with Clara, took his pills, and when he got up he said, "I away for a drive. I have my cell if ye need me."

Clara asked, "What's the matter, Pepper?"

Malcolm replied, "Nothing. I just want some time alone. Don't worry. I'll be back in a couple o' hours."

Clara sighed, "All right but please be careful. I love you."

Malcolm leaned down and firmly kissed her lips before pulling back. He held her hands and replied, "I love ye too, eudail. Don't ever doubt that, my Clara." He kissed her forehead, put his coat on, and walked out the door. He got in his car and just started driving not really giving a fuck where he wound up. He wound up in the empty mall parking lot. He mumbled, "Merry fucking Christmas, ye fucking cunt." He was still not done berating himself. He was crying , cursing and finally closed his eyes and fell asleep. He woke up and it was dark cursing because he had been gone 6 hours. He felt his phone vibrate in his pants pocket. He sent her a text to apologize and that he was on his way home. He groaned because Clara had called him 6 times and when she replied he knew his arse was grass and she was the fucking lawn mower.

After 2 hours Clara started to panic so she called Malcolm. Before she knew it 6 hours had gone by and she had not been able to get a hold of him. The roads were getting icy and she was afraid something had happened. She was so relived and furious at the same time when she got a text back from him. She sent. "You have a lot of explaining to do when you get home! I was worried sick!" 

Malcolm didn't realized the roads were as icy as they were but it was another driver that hit him. Before he blacked out the last thing he thought was, "Clara's going ta fucking kill me."

Clara was sure something was wrong when Malcolm was not home after an hour. She was pacing the floor when her phone rang. She noticed it was Ronnie's number. She stammered, "Ronnie?"

Ronnie had gotten a call from the hospital telling him Malcolm was admitted to the hospital due to a car accident. They knew he was Malcolm's doctor and next of kin so they always called him first. He told them he'd call Clara himself so here he was trying to figure out how to tell her that her lover was just admitted to the hospital on Christmas Day. He said, "Clara.....Malcolm's n the hospital. He was in a car accident. It wasn't his fault. The other driver was drunk and hit an icy patch losing control of the car. Ozzie and me are on the way to pick ye up. We'll be there in about 10 minutes."

When she hung up she fell to the floor and sobbed for 5 minutes before she was able to move to get changed to go to the hospital. She answered the door when Ronnie got there and fell sobbing into his arms. She cried, "This can't be happening. I can't lose him, Ronnie."

Ronnie wrapped his arms around her shoulders and held her while she cried. He felt her hand clenching at his shirt over his belly and sighed. He said, "I hate to ask this but what was he even doing out there tonight?"

Clara stammered, "He...left this morning saying he'd be back in a couple of hours and it turned into 6 bloody hours."

Ronnie asked, "Why"

Clara yelled, "I don't know, Ronnie! All I know is he was quiet and wanted to be alone. I thought maybe he was having second thoughts about asking me to marry him."

Ronnie chirped, "Congratulations. It's about bloody time he did it. He's been......putting it off for months......Wait a minute. What did ye say?"

Clara replied, "Yes of course. Why?"

Ronnie asked, "Were ye acting any way that he might have misinterpreted as ye changed yer mind?"

Clara replied, "No....Wait I've been a bit distracted and quiet I guess. I was trying to figure out how to tell him something he's probably not going to like."

Ronnie sighed, "Ye created an elephant in the room, lassie. He thinks it's his fault for asking ye ta marry him. That's why he wanted ta be alone. He blames himself for yer mood change. What could be so distracting that ye hadn't even thought about how he would bloody take how ye acted?"

Clara sobbed, "I'm pregnant.."

Ronnie stuttered, "What?"

Clara whispered, "I'm pregnant."

Ronnie replied, "Yer afraid ta tell him ye are with child? Why? It is his isn't it?"

Clara yelled, "Of course it's his, Ronnie. Don't treat me like Linda. I'm not a bloody whore!"

Ronnie quietly replied, "I'm sorry. That was unprofessional. I just don't understand what yer problem is with telling him."

Clara yelled, "He does want kids. How do I tell a man that doesn't want children that I am carrying HIS child?"

Ronnie sighed, "Did he tell ye that, lassie? No? Here's the thing. He always wanted children...He just thinks he's too old ta have them now. He's not going ta reject ye or this baby because he'll love the both of ye. He may be hesitant at first but he'll come around once he realizes he's actually going ta be a da. But right now we'd better get to the hospital. This can be handled after we know if he'll be all right." 

Clara stood with both Ronnie and Mathew while Ronnie asked the man questions. 

Doctor Harris said, "Your cousin is in ICU right now. He came in with a concussion, 2nd degree burns on his left leg, arm, the top of his left hand, and hip halfway up his side. Some of them will most likely scar but hopefully will not need skin grafts. They had to remove this ring from his left hand to treat his broken ring finger. Does he have a wife?"

Clara replied, "That's me...well he's my fiancé. Just got engaged last night. I'll take the ring."

Dr. Harris sighed, "I'm very sorry. We are not sure his bad heart can withstand the shock and stress of what happened. If he lives through the next few days he should make it but it's touch and go until then. We will do everything we can and everyone needs to keep him as calm and sedate as possible. No surprises, stress or shocks until he is out of danger. After he is released he will need physical therapy to make sure he gets his limbs working properly again. I know he has a lot of medications he takes. We will make sure he gets them if Dr. Pilfrey will either bring them in or give us a list. You can see him but he's still unconscious."

Clara followed Ronnie to the room they had Malcolm in and was distraught to see all the bandages on him and machines hooked up to him. She sat in the chair next to his bed and took his limp undamaged hand. She said, "Oh, Malcolm...Why couldn't you just ask me if I was having second thoughts? I'd never have second thoughts about being your wife. You better pull through this, you stupid old man. I love you too much to let you go. You need to live to be 80 or 90 so I can nag you about smoking and being stubborn as a bloody mule. I want you to know something. You are my....soul mate. I will never say I love you to anyone else, Pepper. My heart belongs to you forever so you just get better for me. We have so many wonderful years ahead of us to share and I'm never going to leave you so you better not leave me." She kissed his forehead and stayed until they threw her out and told her to come back in the morning. She was glad both Mathew and Ronnie stayed with her because all she did was cry all night clutching Malcolm pillow. She finally managed to slip into a fitful sleep wishing she could change time.


	43. More Surprises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well things get a little better but there are still a couple of bumps in the road

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now I'm not saying that all the medical related stuff is completely accurate. I usually do more research on everything but had a hard deciding which way to go with this and finally settled on this one which I'm sure is not 100% accurate but please humor me :)

The next day Clara went into see Malcolm and was told he had slipped into a coma. They told her it might have just been necessary for him to heal but they were keeping a close eye on him. When it became evident that Malcolm wasn't going to wake up quickly Clara forced herself to go back to work while Mathew sat with Malcolm during the day. The doctors said the lucky thing was that after 2 months his burns were healed. One evening she was in his room and fell asleep next to his hand and she shot a wake when she felt fingers in her hair.

Malcolm had felt he had to not wake up for a longtime then something urged him to wake. He woke up and was very weak but he felt a head on the bed next to his hand and forced his hand to moved onto the head to thread through the hail. By the length he was sure it was probably Clara.. He didn't expect her to jump like she did and knocked his hand onto his soft belly. That stung a bit and he hissed. He rasped, "Clara? Clara?"

Clara grabbed his hand again and replied, "Yes. Yes, Pepper. It's me." She took his hand and placed it to her face.

Malcolm sigh in relief and felt her face as she kissed his palm. He rasped, "What?"

Clara hit the call bell and replied, "You were in a bad car accident on Christmas Day. You....you were burned pretty badly on your left side and have been in a coma."

Malcolm rasped, "How...long?"

Clara replied, "About....2 months."

Malcolm rasped, "Sorry." He could feel the tissue from the burns where his skin was tighter and instantly thought he must look a sight. He also registered that he couldn't see either but that didn't bother him as much as it probably should have. He felt Clara's hand leave his and someone else's hands on him and panicked. He rasped, "Clara?!"

Clara moved to the other side of the bed and took his other hand and replied, "Right here. What's wrong?"

Malcolm rasped, "Don't let go. I can't see ye."

Clara looked at the nurse who went to summon the doctor. Before she knew it Ronnie and Mathew were there as well.

Ronnie asked, "Is he all right?"

Clara replied, "I....think he's blind. He said he couldn't see me."

Ronnie took out his pen light and shined it in Malcolm's eyes and asked, "Can you see anything, Malcolm? Light? Colors? Shapes?"

Malcolm rasped, "Not a fucking thing ye twat. It's all black."

Ronnie replied, "All right let me see about getting some tests done." He ran out and talked to the attending physician and got CAT scans MRI's and anything else that might help him figure out why his cousin is blind. When they got back he sighed. There was damage to Malcolm's optic nerves and eyes. You could only see it if you took scans. He couldn't believe these pudding brain doctors didn't see it. He was starting to think they figured Malcolm would never wake up which really pushed Ronnie's patience. He ripped the doctor's up. He yelled, "How did ye fucking miss THIS?"

Dr. Harris replied, "I didn't order anything but X-Rays to make sure his concussion wasn't bad."

Ronnie, "Oohooo. So ye don't think after being in a major fucking car accident that it would be germane ta get a bloody fucking CAT scan or MRI ta make sure the damage wasn't affecting anything else?! Aren't ye just fucking brilliant? Now thank ta ye my cousin is going ta be blind because the damage is now irreversible! No wonder Malcolm calls all o' ye pudding brains!" He started cursing in Gaelic and pacing. He usually wasn't a man to lose his temper and swear like Malcolm does but these people might have fixed this when it first happened but 2 months later? It would require new eyes. Literally. He went back to Malcolm's room and calmly said, "I'm sorry, Malcolm, but your eyes and optic nerves are damaged. There isn't anything that can be done without replacing them completely."

Malcolm sighed, "It's not yer fault, Ronnie. It's the fucking pudding brains fault I'm assuming. I always said they were a bunch of Balaclavas." Just what he needed. Now he was blind and scarred on top of being sickly. He couldn't even work anymore and would be dependent on Clara until he was able to be at least somewhat independent. Clara didn't need that bullshite.

Clara was very happy when 1 month or so later Malcolm was walking practically normal if a little stiffly and they released him from both the hospital and rehab. She was now 4 months pregnant and knew she had to tell Malcolm. He would start noticing her baby bump once he started touching her. She could tell he was depressed but Ronnie and Matty kept urging her to tell him. She watched him sit in the rocker that Matty bought him so he could sit by the fire and rock because Malcolm was always in constant movement unless he was sleeping so the first few days he didn't even bother trying to go upstairs. She would find him either rocking in the rocker or sleeping on the sofa. After a week she knelt in front of him while he was rocking in his rocker and put her head on his lap and she felt him stop rocking and card his fingers through her hair. She said, "Please share our bed with me again. I miss you."

Malcolm sighed, "Ye'd be better off without me, Clara. I'm sorry."

Clara said, "Malcolm Dougan Tucker. I am not leaving you ever so stop trying to make me. You asked me to marry you and you bloody well better."

Malcolm sighed, "Clara, I'm fucking blind! I'm full o' scars and I wasn't pretty ta look at before. Why would ye still want ta sleep with me?"

Clara yelled, "Because I love you! I don't care about the scars or that you are blind! You're still the man I fell in love with, Pepper. I'm not going to fall out of love with you just because of what happened. All I want is you. Don't you love me anymore?"

Malcolm whispered, "I love ye more than anything in the world, my Clara. Ye are my life."

Clara took both his hands in hers and said, "Then stop fighting me." She placed his ring back on his ring finger."

Malcolm felt the ring with his other hand and asked, "Where?"

Clara replied, "They gave it to me when you were brought into the hospital because your ring finger was broken and they had to take the ring off to splint it."

Malcolm said, 'I thought I'd lost it or someone stole it. zye are still wearing both of my rings?" He could feel one on each hand. The engagement ring was still on her left hand while their old commitment ring was on her right.

Clara kissed the tops of both his hands and replied, "Of course I am, you silly old man. I told you I plan on marrying your old ass before you die. I meant it too."

Malcolm laughed, "I think yer fucking mental but I never could say no to ye, Clara Oswald."

Clara replied, "Good. Now let's go upstairs. I'll guide you." She managed to get him upstairs after giving him his pills without any mishaps and to their bedroom. She was proud of how well he learned how to use that walking stick although she was sure some of it was simply he had lived here most of his life so knew the layout. She sat him on the bed and started to undress him. When he tried to stop her she scolded, "Hush. I saw them in the hospital both when you first came in and when I helped you dress to come home." She heard him sigh but give up. Eventually she had him stripped to his boxers. He had white scarring on his left arm and leg as well as part of his left side and the top of his left hand but it wasn't ugly or nasty. It was just very pale and thicker than the rest of his skin. She got him comfortable in bed and changed into a pair of shorts and a tank before crawling in next to him on the right side. She caressed his left side where the scarring was and heard him stop breathing for about a minute before breathing normally. She alternated between his side and soft belly.

Malcolm could feel Clara's shape had changed. her middle was rounder now not that he minded but he asked, "Clara? Did ye gain weight, eudail? I really don't mind. I just was curious."

Clara replied, "Not exactly, Pepper."

Malcolm gasped, "Please tell me ye aren't sick."

Clara kissed his cheek and replied, "No. I'm fine. I...just haven't figured out how to tell you..."

Malcolm asked, "Tell me what?"

Clara whispered, "I'm...pregnant..."

Malcolm was sure he heard that wrong. He asked, "Sorry?"

Clara said, "I'm pregnant carrying your child, Malcolm."

Malcolm groaned, "Fucking fuck me! When were ye actually planning on fucking telling me?"

Clara replied, "I was going to tell you the night you....almost died on me. Christmas Day."

Malcolm asked, "Christmas da.. How long have ye been with child?"

Clara replied, "About 4 months give or take."

Malcolm groaned, "Jesus Christ. Ye knew before I asked ye ta marry me. Is that why ye said yes? So the bairn wouldn't be a bastard?"

Clara yelled, "No, Malcolm. It's not. I said yes because I bloody LOVE you! I never expected you to marry me. But I did NOT agree to marry just because I am having YOUR child!" She went to get out of bed and felt his hand grab hers.

Malcolm grabbed her hand before she could get up. He sighed, "Clara, I'm sorry. I can be a fucking cunt but I shouldn't aim it at ye. Just please don't leave."

Clara sighed, "Look. If you don't want anything to do with the baby then you don't have too. I can raise it without your help." She finally laid back down after he wouldn't stop pulling her hand.

Malcolm sighed, "No, Clara. I didn't expect ta have children but that doesn't mean I won't accept responsibility for our child. I just don't know how much fucking help I can be ta ye now."

Clara asked, "Tell me the truth. Did you want children?"

Malcolm kissed the top of Clara's head and replied, "Aye. I did until I got too old but I'm not going to reject ye or our baby if ye are worried about that. I just need ta let it settle in my brain that I'm going ta be a da. I just hope I can be a decent da."

Clara hugged Malcolm round middle and replied, "You're going to be a wonderful dad, Malcolm. You'll see."

Malcolm smiled and replied, "Yer the Boss."

Clara kissed his cheek and replied, "Don't you forget it."

Malcolm replied, "Not a chance."

Clara smiled and replied, "Good." She felt his breathing deepen and curled up and let herself join him in sleep.


	44. Making Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The whole family makes a few plans.

Malcolm knew Ronnie had been staying with Clara part of the time he was in the hospital and now he was always here helping him adjust to life without sight. No one let him get his own pills anymore because he could see what ones he was taking. Finally one day when Ronnie came in he said, "Ye know what, Ronnie? Why don't ye just fucking move back in permanently?"

Ronnie sighed, "I know ye don't really want that."

Malcolm laughed, "Doesn't matter. I need ye. Mathew is fucking lonely without ye. Me and Clara are going ta have a bairn in a few months. Why not round the house out with ye?"

Ronnie asked, "What do ye want, Malcolm?"

Malcolm sighed, "I want ye ta be here when I need ye. Ye are the closest person I have ever had for a sibling. I want what's left o' my family together. I don't really want Mathew ta move out so the next best solution is ye move in. I can't be left alone and I am fucking terrified of fucking up at being a da. I'm fucking blind for fucks sake. I'm going ta need Mathew's help with the baby because I can't see what I fucking doing."

Ronnie went over to Malcolm where he rocking in an aggravated pattern and placed a hand on his shoulder. He sighed, "All right. I'll move in and rent my house out Just so ye know..I never intended ta take Mathew away from ye. Even if he had moved in with me he would have been here all day anyway because he wants to be with ye."

Malcolm placed his hand on top of Ronnie's and replied, "Thanks ye, Ronnie. I'll even try not ta complain about how many times ye fuck bow tie boy a night."

Ronnie lightly smacked Malcolm in the back of the head and said, "Smart arse. Ye and yer Clara aren't exactly quiet from what I hear either."

Malcolm snickered, "Aye. That's true but I can only get it up once a night and if I'm lucky once in the morning. Ye on the other hand I lose count. Hell I don't even want ta fucking know!"

Mathew replied, "On average? Ronnie can get it up about 4 times a night if want to have sex that many times. Me? saddly 2 is about my limit."

Malcolm groaned, "Jesus Christ! Thank ye for too much information bow tie boy."

Mathew chuckled, "You're welcome!"

Malcolm yelled, "Ye cheeky bastard!"

Mathew yelled back, "Yeah but you love me!"

Malcolm groaned, "I'm fucking bantering with him. Christ."

Ronnie replied, "That's good. Ye used ta banter and flirt with each other all the time. It was actually rather fun to watch."

Malcolm replied, "Oh fuck the fuck off ye twat."

Ronnie laughed as he went upstairs to put down his doctor's bag in the bedroom he now shared with Ozzie. He'd have the younger man help him move the things he needed from his house to here on the weekend when Clara was home with Malcolm.

Clara had been working after Malcolm was finally home and Mathew watched the older man during the day. She dealt with the snide remarks about her being knocked up by the Scottie. She really missed Malcolm being at the school during the day because he was the only thing that kept her sane during the day. She was so relived to get home after dealing with all the bullshit. Because Malcolm car had been totaled she was barrowing Matty's Volkswagen but she knew she had to get another Car because she was going to have to drive her baby and Malcolm around now. 

Malcolm had gotten to the point where he knew everyone's footsteps so he knew who was there before they even spoke. When Clara got home he said, "Clara? When do ye want ta get married? Before or after the bairn is born? Our child will get my name either way."

Clara replied, "Before would be better so I only have to fill out paperwork once."

Malcolm replied, "All right. Ye pick the date. I'd like ta have it in Glasgow so my mam can come if ye don't mind."

Clara replied, "All right. I guess dad can go there but Gran...Depends on her health. Linda I don't bloody give a crap if she comes. I'd rather she didn't actually. Ronnie and Matty have to come."

Malcolm chuckled, "Oh I planned on dragging them along. Maybe they'll make it double wedding if they get the right push."

Clara replied, "That would be a wonderful idea."

Ronnie asked, "What would?"

Clara replied, "A double wedding!"

Ronnie asked, "Who?"

Clara lightly slapped Ronnie's belly and replied, "Me and Malcolm. You and Matty! It's perfect."

Ronnie stammered, "I haven't even asked Ozzie yet."

Malcolm asked, "Why not? Ye are fucking perfect for each other. Ye are the ones that pushed me ta ask Clara so now it's my turn ta push yer fucking ass ta fucking get married. Don't try the bullshit I all ready know because I know the boy adores ye more than anyone in the world."

Ronnie sighed, "No. There will always be one man he loves more than me."

Malcolm asked, "Who's that?"

Ronnie whispered, "Ye are."

Malcolm sighed, "Maybe so but I belong ta Clara and he knows that. I knows he adores ye anyway, Ronnie. Don't lose him."

Ronnie sighed, "Yer right."

Malcolm got a smug look on his face and replied, "Yep."

Clara asked, "How about May? That should be a good time for a wedding."

Malcolm said, "Yer the boss."

Clara kissed him firmly on the lips before sitting in his lap. She felt the baby kick and said, "Give me your hand, Pepper." She place it on her stomach where the baby was kicking and heard him gasp in surprise. 

Malcolm felt the movement and gasped, "Is that...?"

Clara replied, "Yeah. That's our baby." She looked and saw his rare wonderful smile. She wished she could always see that smile on his face.

Malcolm had never felt a baby kick before and he was completely awestruck by it. It meant twice as much to him because he couldn't see it but it felt wonderful. He was all ready in love with their baby. He whispered, 'Oh Clara, my Clara. Thank ye. I love this."

When Clara drug Malcolm to bed that night and almost every night after his head was on her shoulder and his hand was on her belly looking for the baby to move until he fell asleep. She realized he was mesmerized by the baby she carried and was glad telling him was the right decision. He was currently the happiest than she's ever seen him when he was searching for their baby's kicks. He was always kissing her belly too and talking to their baby when he thought she was asleep. After he went to sleep she followed with a smile on her face.


	45. Meeting Malcolm Mam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone takes a trip to Glasgow.

Clara set up the double wedding for the middle of May in Glasgow. She picked Rose gold wedding bands for her and Malcolm. He had told her to pick whatever she wanted and he had added her name to his checking account. She didn't go completely over board though. She found a simple white wedding dress with embroidered baby blue flowers in the lace around the dress and the veil. She agreed Malcolm could just wear his Armani Black suit with a white shirt and baby blue tie. Ronnie and Matty agreed to get married as well but Matty would not war anything without his purple over coat and a bow tie so he wound up wearing a pair of pale violet pants, violet bowtie and waistcoat with the coat. Ronnie wore a black suit, pale violet dress shirt and violet tie. Because they were all getting married together the outfits for the rest of the tiny wedding party were variations of baby blue and violet. Matty and Ronnie's wedding bands were brushed gold and rose gold triangle pattern in them. She felt bad that this will be the first time Malcolm's mum met both her and Matty but hoped she'd like them. Linda of course didn't come to the wedding and both Clara and Matty were relieved. Dave and Gran came so the six of them were currently on a flight from London to Glasgow. Clara could tell that Malcolm wasn't well today but he had good days and bad days since he got home from the hospital. She took hold of his hand and squeezed.

Malcolm was having another "I feel like shite" days and was tapping his hand against his thigh when he felt Clara take his hand and squeeze it. He said, "I'm all right." He knew Clara understood that he was telling her it was just a normal crappy day. He had made a promise if there was something unusual about how he felt he would tell one of them. He felt Clara place his hand on her belly and he smiled a bit when he felt their baby kick. He was still fascinated by the child that Clara was carrying inside of her. She placed her hand on top of his and he said, "Thank ye, Clara."

Clara asked, "For what?"

Malcolm replied, "For everything. For staying with this cranky, blind, sickly man. For carrying my child. For giving me a chance ta be a da. For marrying me. For loving me. For choosing me of all people."

Clara kissed his cheek and replied, "Oh, Pepper. I wish you could see yourself as I see you. I still thing you are a good looking man but I love what I see in here." She pressed a hand to his chest where his heart was and said, "The man I've gotten to know is a sweet, loving, devoted man who can still see the awe and wonder in something like our child growing inside of me. Your soul is....damaged but not beyond love. You may think your body is old and weak but your soul is young and strong. You are a smart man but working at Downing Street destroyed you. You got used up and spit out. You became what you had to be to survive but lost your true self in the process. You had to bury the real you so deep that now you can't even see what I see in you. You think you are nothing but an old, sickly, useless husk that doesn't deserve to be loved. You don't think you deserve a family that loves you and wants to take care of you. You were beaten so far down that you can't even see anything else and that's heart-breaking because I see so much more to you than that. You are a wonderful partner, brother, friend and will be a wonderful father. If you can't trust yourself then trust me."

Malcolm leaned his head against Clara and replied, "I have trusted ye for a long time. I trust yer judgment and I trust ye with my life. Without ye I am nothing and don't want ta live."

Clara replied, "Is that why I have your Power of Attorney?"

Malcolm rasped, "Aye. I trust ye ta make the right choice if I can't."

Clara replied, "Trusting someone like that is not easy."

Malcolm sighed, "No. It's not. I only have 4 people I trust. Ye, Ronnie, Mathew, and my mam. Mathew I know will be there ta take care of me when I need it just like you will be, Ronnie I trust with keeping me alive and properly treated, Ye I trust that if the time comes that ye will make the right choice and let me go if ye have to. My mam well she's my mam and she's always been there for me and Ronnie. I can't even trust my own sister because of her fucking husband corrupting her."

Ronnie was sitting a couple of isle up back from Malcolm and Clara with Mathew. He found out the younger man was petrified of flying. Mathew was currently as close as he could get with one hand clutching his jacket in a death grip while the other was clenched in a fist on his belly. Ronnie had one arm around Mathew and the other running through the younger man's hair that was on his shoulder. 

Mathew asked, "Pussy cat? Do you think your mum will like me and Clara?"

Ronnie replied, "Aye. I think she will. She was very understanding when I told her I was gay. She's always after me ta find a nice boy and settle down. Maybe have a family."

Mathew asked, "Do you want kids?"

Ronnie replied, "I never really thought about it but I'm not opposed ta the idea." 

Mathew sighed, "We could adopt."

Ronnie replied, "Aye. We could." When they finally landed he managed to get Mathew to let go of him by holding his hand as they got off the plane and waited for Clara to bring Malcolm out. They stood with Clara's parents.

Dave Oswald had been sad to hear about the accident that left Malcolm scarred and blind because despite the man reputation Malcolm was good to his daughter and that's all that matters to him. He was a little unsettled about Mathew being with Ronnie but he knew the doctor spoiled his son so he was willing to accept the two men as a couple even though he really didn't understand it. He even sent Linda on a weeklong spa retreat so she didn't come to the wedding. He'd be damned if she was going ta ruin this event.

Malcolm completely relied on Clara to guide him out of the plane and over to their little group. He just held onto his stick while Clara looped her arm with his to guide him. He told Clara to have Ronnie rent a van for the six of them for the week they were here. When they got to his mam's house he waited for Clara to help him out. They were greeted in Gaelic and Malcolm replied, "Mam, Ye are going ta have ta speak English. Ronnie and me are the only ones who speak Gaelic."

Maureen Tucker smiled at her son and replied, "Very well. I donnae like it but I will do it. Ye two better teach yer partners Gaelic. I'm Maureen Tucker."

Ronnie replied, "This is My boyfriend Mathew, his sister and Malcolm's girlfriend Clara, their da Dave and their gran Estelle."

Maureen replied, "Both Sister and brother are marrying my boys? That is interesting."

Mathew piped up, "We also all live together. Well...I mean me, Clara, Malcolm, and Ronnie."

Maureen raised her eyebrow nd asked, "Malcolm? Has something 'appened dear?"

Malcolm replied, "Aye. I was in a car accident on Christmas day and have burn scars and am now blind. The fucking bright side is Clara's still marrying me."

Masureen put her hand to her eldest son's face and replied, "I am sorry." She finally got a good look at Clara and asked, "Am I finally goin ta be a grandmam, Malcolm?"

Malcolm replied, "Aye. Ye are. in about 3 months."

Maureen said, "Ye better bring the bairn ta see me or your foul mouth will be no match fer mine. Remember My da was a sailor."

Malcolm sighed, "Noted."He knew his mam knew how to fluently swear in English, Gaelic, and Italian. No she would be no match for him in a swearing contest.

Maureen looked at Ronnie and said, "Ye should give me grandchildren to young man. Either find a woman taa carry yer child or adopt one but I want grandchildren from ye boys too. Come along. Malcolm and Clara can sleep in my room, Ronnie and Mathew can sleep in the guestroom. Ye two can sleep in the boys old rooms. I will sleep in Anne's old room." She was please when she heard a chorus of yes mam. She watched how her eldest relied on all three of his house mates for different things. Clara was being his eyes, Ronnie did his Meds at dinner and Mathew she found out was the house husband and took care of Malcolm while Clara and Ronnie were at work. 

When they all went to bed Malcolm curled up next to Clara with his hand resting on her belly and his head on the pillow next to hers. He felt the and closest to him on his round soft belly. He found it ironic that at the moment they both were fascinated by each other's rounded bellies. Her because she just loves his squishy belly and him because she was carrying his child in her belly. He felt her lightly scratching his belly and realized it felt kind of good. He sighed, "Night eudail. Mi gràdh thu, my Clara."

Clara replied, "Night, Pepper. I love you too."


	46. The Wedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess what time it is? :P
> 
> Short chapter

On the morning of the wedding Malcolm was nervous as hell and was very happy Ronnie was helping him get dressed to make sure he was put together properly. He could tell his cousin was just as nervous as he was himself. He was happy and guilty at the same time. Happy because he was marrying the woman that meant the world to him and he was going to have a child with her. Guilty because she was getting stuck with an old, sickly, scarred, blind old man. He took Ronnie's hand and followed him outside where everyone was gathered. He heard a discussion and had to stick his two cents in because he heard Anne's voice. He asked, "What the fuck are ye doing here? I told ye ta stay away from us."

Anned said, "You didn't even bother to tell me you were finally marrying the girl. I had to find out from mum when she called to ask Henry if he'd perform the ceremony."

Malcolm hissed, "On fuck no. I will NOZT be married by that hypocrite, hoity toity, homophobic cunt! I know Ronnie won't want ta be anymore than I do."

Anne replied, "Oh No worries about HIM or his pouf of a bed warmer. Henry refused to marry them."

Maureen noticed the argumant and asked, "Anne? Malcolm? what wrong?"

Malcolm ground out, "I will not be married by a fucking homophobic bastard like Henry. Did you know he refuses to marry Ronnie and Mathew because they are gay. Both of these two won't let me or Ronnie see the kids because we are both queer."

Maureen yelled, "Is this true, Anne?"

Anne replied, "Yes mum. We don't need our children being influence by THEM."

Maureen yelled, "Than ye can fucking go a long way away! Ye are all my children but I will NOT tolerate your fucking bullshit on what supposed to be the best fucking day of these boy's lives! Ye are a fucking bitch ta treat yer brother's like that!"

Anne replied, "The fat faggot is not my brother."

Maureen yelled, "Aye he is ye little tart! How dare ye fucking come into MY fucking home and insult yer family! I did Not fucking raise ye ta act like fucking rude hateful cunt! Now get off of my fucking property until ye fucking wise up!"

Ann replied, "Fine."

Maureen watched her daughter leave and sighed, "I'm sorry Malcolm. I had no idea. I will find a different minister."

Malcolm replied, "Thank ye. Some on should tell Clara and Mathew."

Maureen replied, "I'll tell them." After telling the "brides" about the delay she managed to find a minister that was willing to come over right away. When everything was ready Clara's father walked Clara down the aisle while Mathew followed behind them to take his place next to his groom. Malcolm and Ronnie had written their own vows.

Malcolm took Clara's hand and said," My beautiful Clara. Before I met ye I was a husk without a soul. I was tired of living and was just waiting for it all ta be over. Ye are an angel and the most woman in the world ta me. Ye are beautiful, smart and are my light in the dark. I really don't know how ye can stand me most of the time because I'm not an easy man ta know let alone live with. I never dreamed that I could find someone so loving and patient. Now ye haven given me another gift. Ye are having my child and I'm going ta have the family I thought I'd never have. Clara I love ye and owe ye so much. My life is nothing without you in it. I will do everything I can ta make ye happy and protect ye until I die. Thank ye for becoming my wife, Clara, my Clara." He placed her wedding band on her finger with his mam's engagement ring. He felt her take off his ring and move it to his right hand and placed his wedding band on in its place. 

When it was Ronnie's turn he took hold of Mathew's hands and said, "Ozzie, my wonderful tom cat, I love ye with every fiber of my being. I was happier in my life than the time we have had together and I'm hoping ta have many years ta spend with ye before I am gone from this earth. Ye accept all my faults and annoying quirks without a single complaint. Ye love me unconditionally even though I hate myself. Ye are adorable and beautiful. Ye are also patient and kind. Nothing brings me more joy than I could ever put into words when ye entered my life. Ye mean everything ta me in the world and will do my best ta prove that ta ye for the rest of my life. Thank ye for becoming my husband." He placed Mathew's wedding band on and then the boy did the same with him.

The minister said, "I now pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Tucker and You Mr. and Mr. Pilfrey. You may kiss."

Ronnie had been a bit surprised when Mathew chose to change his name when they got married and did argue a bit about it but in the end he backed down secretly happy. The reception was small but well arranged. He danced with Mathew and they took times leading.

Malcolm finally let Clara convince him to dance with her and trusted her completely as she led him around the dance floor. It was a little disconcerting until he got used to the switch in roles but he was eventually comfortable with it. Eventually he was tired so he let Clara guide him to their table. He was tired but happy. He now had a wife that loved him and a child on the way. 

Clara was happy to see the genuine smile Malcolm had on his face. She asked, "What are you thinking about, Pepper?"

Malcolm reached for her hand and sighed when she gave it to him. He replied, "Just about what a lucky fucking bastard I am ta have ye. Just wish I could see how beautiful ye are now."

Clara leaned over and kissed his cheek and replied, "I love you, Malcolm. There's no other place I'd rather than by your side."

Malcolm entwined their fingers tightly and teased, "I'm glad because ye are fucking stuck with me now. Preferably until I take a dirt nap."

Clara replied, "You better be around for a long time yet."

Malcolm replied, "Aye. I don't plan ta die for a few years yet anyway." Malcolm later got drug on the dance floor by Mathew as well and surprised to find the boy was a good dancer. 

Ronnie watched as Clara helped Malcolm cut their cake and he had to chuckle at how Malcolm missed Clara face and got cake in her hair but they both laughed about it after she left a dollop of icing on his nose before licking it off and kissing the older man's nose. He knew they adored each other more than anything in the world. Mathew was a better aim when it was their turn to cut their cake. They all had cake and coffee or tea before it was time to break up the party. He could tell Malcolm was exhausted. 

When they finally called it a night Malcolm just took his pills, fell into bed and almost instantly asleep. He barely registered Clara kissing his forehead and curling up against him. 

Clara could tell Malcolm was exhausted but happy with how the day turned out. They would have many pictures and she'd have to make sure at least two copies were made. She changed into her night gown and slipped into bed next to Malcolm.


	47. Back to London

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone goes home to London and Malcolm and Clara have a personal chat.

Maureen decided that 9am was long enough for this bunch to have slept in so she started banging on the bedroom doors yelling, "Time ta get up Everybody! Breakfast is ready! Malcolm, ye fucking lazy bastard get up! Ronnie, ye too ye fucking lazy shite!" She smiled when both boys groan and went back to gets plate set up at the table.

Malcolm wok up rather suddenly to his mam yelling and banging on bedroom doors. He groaned, Aye. mam. I'm up." He knew his mam was just being a smart arse. Annoying as it is this is her way of being funny. He knew that he'd probably have to explain this to the Oswalds if Ronnie didn't but right now he had to get up and dressed. He managed to take a quick shower and get mostly dressed without any help. He knew Clara had pulled out clothes for him before she went in for her shower. He sat on the toilet while he waited for Clara to get dressed before she combed his unruly curly hair and shaved him. He sighed, "My hair probably needs a cut."

Clara kissed her husband's forehead and replied, "Actually you look better with it longer like this. You look less harsh. You look more like a grumpy owl rather than an angry hawk. Besides I love playing with your hair, my handsome husband."

Malcolm replied, "Oh ye are absolutely hilarious, my beautiful wife." He still felt like he was in a dream. Clara had actually really married him and took his last name. When Clara was done shaving and cleaning his face he rested his head against her rounded belly for a minute before kissing it and drawing back. He waited while she finished getting herself ready for the day. Then he followed her guidance to the table in the kitchen.

Maureen was waiting for Malcolm and Clara and finally was relieved when they showed up. She teased, "Whut were ye doin? Having a fucking honeymoon?"

Malcolm laughed and replied, "No. That's Ronnie's department. I'm not as.....energetic as he is in that area."

Maureen smirked and teased, "Ye were energetic enough seeing that I'm FINALLY goin ta get a bairn out o' ye. Took ye long o'nough ta find one ye wanted ta marry. Thought the name Tucker was goin ta end with ye."

Malcolm replied, "It may yet, mam. We may have a girl."

Maureen replied, "Hopefully not all o' them will be girls."

Malcolm replied, "I don't know if we are going ta have more than one. I'm almost 60 for fuck sake. I didn't even plan on having this one. I don't regret it but I never expected it. Besides Clara has ta carry the bairn. I just help make it and raise it. She has the hardest part."

Clara took his hand and replied, "It's up to you, Pepper. I'd like to have at least 2 children but I'm happy with one if you don't want more."

Malcolm stammered, "I'll think about it."

Clara squeezed his hand and replied, "Fair enough." She leaned over and kissed his gray temple before starting to eat. After breakfast she backed both their belongings up so they could go home that evening. 

Maureen watched her son's and their wife and husband pack and hugged all of them before they got in the car. She said, "Dave, Estelle, it was lovely meeting ye. Malcolm, don' ye forget ta make sure I see that bairn o' yers as often as possible. Ifn' ye don' I'll come ta London myself and cuff ye in the head after I curse at ye in every language I know. Got it?"

Malcolm groan, "Aye, mam. Got it."

Maureen wrapped her arms around Ronnie and said, "Ye had better work on getting me a grandchild as well. Just because ye married a man don' mean ye get off the hook young man."

Ronnie sighed, "Aye, mam."

Maureen hugged Mathew and Clara and said, "Welcome ta the family. Don' let my boys give ye any crap. Sometime they need ta be put in their place. They even get a thrill out o' it from their partners. Whips and handcuffs I hear can be fun with the right person. In'it boys?" She saw the boys turn red with embarrassment and groan. She loved to tease them about their desire to put on a leash by their partners and their desire to be dominated. There were no secrets between her and the boys. She had always been open and forward about sex with them because she wanted to make sure they were well informed. She knew Malcolm liked to be tied up and whipped as well as his desire to be mounted. Ronnie she knew loved that round belly of his rubbed and scratched while handcuffed to a bed naked. So she liked to tease them about it now and then, they still knew she just wanted them to be happy.

Malcolm groaned because he had never told Clara about that particular set of quirks he had. She knew he liked Anal sex even thought they had never tried it together but not that he liked being whipped or tied up or denied to come. He really hadn't intended to tell her because he figured she'd think he was fucking mental. He was a masochist that enjoyed being physically hurt because he felt he deserved it. Ronnie's oddities were mild compared to his because mostly the younger man just acted like a big pot bellied pussy cat.

Once they were on the plane Clara teased, "Soo....Whips and handcuffs, huh?"

Malcolm sighed, "Aye, my Clara. I'm a fucking masochist. I like ta be tied up, whipped, beaten, physically hurt, and fucking denied ta come."

Clara replied, "All right. Why didn't you ever tell me this?"

Malcolm sighed, "I thought just telling ye I like ta be literally fucked up the ass was shock enough for ye."

Clara laughed, "Pepper, nothing you could tell me can shock me. I may not be willing to try it but I'm not going to judge you over liking something I don't. Besides some of the lighter stuff I might be willing to try."

Malcolm sighed, "I thought ye'd think I was fucking mental."

Clara replied, "No. I'd like to know why you like it though. I personally wouldn't want to be the submissive. I could be a dominate to a certain degree I think. I can't take pain but might be able to give it within reason."

Malcolm sighed, "I deserve it. It's penance for what I was and I don't want ta ever forget that. I don't ever want ta be that man again so the pain reminds me. Also I find it very arousing ta be beaten up by my mate. Ye should know by now that I am all ready submissive ta ye, eudail. Ye ARE my dom whether ye know it or not. I LIKE it when ye boss me around because the submissive part of me WANTS it. That part of me wants ye ta beat me, whip me, tie me up, and use me."

Clara replied, "That's why you make me order you around? Because you get a sexual thrill out of it? That explains a lot. When I use my bossy voice you jump like I stung you to do what I just told you too."

Malcolm growled, "Aye. A submissive does NOT want ta disobey it's mistress. Ye are my mistress so when ye use THAT tone I obey immediately. If I disobey ye it means I want ta be punished for being bad."

Clara laughed, "So you are a disobedient child that enjoys to be punished?"

Malcolm replied, "Aye. That's one way ta put it but the hitch is I only want ye ta punish me."

Clara replied, "Because I'm your mistress?"

Malcolm growled, "Aye, my Clara. Ye are the only mistress I have ever had. I have been ta a few establishments but never chose a mistress before ye."

Clara asked, 'What about your other relationships? Why me?"

Malcolm replied, "Trust, Clara. Ye are the only person I have EVER trusted completely. That alone brought out my submissive side to jump when ye boss me around. Then combine that with yer bossy control freak nature and I was fucked. My desire ta be controlled by ye took over."

Clara replied, "I do enjoy it when you are a good boy. I find I do like giving you orders."

Malcolm replied, "I enjoy it when ye give me orders."

Clara replied, "Hmm maybe we can try moving it into the bedroom then. Is that why you wait for me to ask you for sex?"

Malcolm replied, "Aye. Ye are the decision maker in and out of the bedroom especially where sex is involved. Being the submissive I need ta be prompted ta know it's all right ta approach ye for it. Unless I am exhausted I usually am able and willing ta have sex. My main desire is ta please ye even if I can't get it up. I will always try ta please ye if ye want sex."

Clara smiled and replied, "OK. It's based on a punish/rewards system right?"

Malcolm replied, "Aye. If I'm good ye reward me and if I'm bad ye punish me."

Clara asked, "Can you give me examples?"

Malcolm scrubbed a hand over his face and replied, "All right. If I'm bad ye whip, spank, beat or deny me release until ye want me to. Even if I am not allowed ta come for days or weeks. When ye deny me ta come for days then when ye do finally allow me ta come it is truly worth the wait because it is a much more intense orgasm. I've been denied for 2 weeks before and t was so intense I passed out unconscious from the force of it. Ye can also deny me permission ta enter ye or come inside of ye. Another intense experience is spanking me while I have a dildo or butt plug inside of me and denying me ta come. Now that is fucking wonderful torture. Rewards can be allowing me ta come if ye have been denying it, allowing me ta come inside of ye, a blow job sometimes is used by some. My favorite reward would be ta be fucked from behind with a dick, vibrator or dildo and being allowed ta come just from that stimulation. "

Clara smiled and replied, "I can probably managed those thing quite well. I have some new ideas now." 

Malcolm smiled and replied, "Thank ye. I'd like that." The rest of the flight was a quite one because he nodded off to sleep for a while. When he got home he just sat in the rocker by the window while the other three brought everything in the house. He was relieved that the weddings were over and Clara was finally truly his wife. That night when he fell asleep with Clara wrapped in his arms he was finally truly content and happy.


	48. Mairi Kayla Tucker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The baby is born, Malcolm is up all night and Clara decides to pice up their sex life a bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Light dom/sub, anal sex

Clara was at Coal Hill 3 months later when her water broke in the middle of class. She called Ronnie and told him to meet her at the hospital and Mathew to get Malcolm there before the principal drove her to the hospital. She was so relieved when she saw Malcolm stumble in her room with Ronnie and Mathew right behind him. 

Dr. Brick asked, "Who are all these people?"

Ronnie replied, "Dr. Ronnie Pilfrey. I'm her personal physician and brother-in-law. This is her brother Mathew and her husband Malcolm."

Dr. Brick replied, "The husband can stay but you two need to leave because you are in the way."

Ronnie replied, "All right but if you need Malcolm to move you will have to guide him where you want him to go. He's blind."

Dr. Brick replied, "Have him sit over there than so he'll be out of the way but still able to be near his wife."

Malcolm followed Ronnie's guidance and sat on a stool where he could hold Clara's hand. It took 8 hours before he finally heard the wail of a baby. 

Dr. Brick said, "Congratulations, You have a baby girl."

Malcolm whispered, "A little girl? Clara we have a baby girl. I bet she's beautiful." He felt Clara take his hand and lead it to a tiny little hand and felt it grasp his first finger and he felt tears running down his cheeks. 

Clara said, "Pepper she has your eyes. The same gray green color you have and brown hair. She is beautiful. You gave us a beautiful child."

Malcolm replied, "No, my Clara. Ye are the beautiful one that gave us a beautiful little girl. I wish I could see her but I'm glad I'm here to raise her. What should we name her?"

Clara replied, "I figured being Scottish you might like to give her a Gaelic name. So I thought how about Mairi Kayla Tucker. Mairi is Mary and Kayla means so beautiful only poets can describe her."

Malcolm smiled and replied, "Aye. That sounds lovely, my Clara. A beautiful name for our beautiful daughter."The next day Clara and Mairi were allowed to go home. When they got in the car Malcolm felt Clara hand him Mairi and show him how to hold her properly. He lightly bounced her in his arms and cooed at her the whole drive home. He murmured, 'Who's papa's precious little girl? Who's my beautiful little sweetheart? phhhhhft.. Ye like grabbing papa's nose hmm? I'm going ta spoil ye rotten lovely Mairi." He was very glad that Ronnie and Mathew helped him finish the baby's room a few days before Clara had her. He had chosen to have Mairi's room next to his own room so he could get there without falling down stairs or anything. His rocker had been moved into Mairi's room so he could sit and rock her.

Clara had been exhausted but happy. She couldn't find Malcolm for hours and went into Mairi's room and found him sitting in his rocker rocking back and forth with their daughter in his arms. She thought it was so cute that the velociraptor of Downing Street was rocking his little girl with a smile on his that she took a picture of it. She was very happy that even though Malcolm was blind he still walked the floor with her, rocked her, played with her and fed her a bottle without much difficulty. She was right that Malcolm would be a wonderful father. Also he was much happier when he was around their daughter. 

When Ronnie first saw little Mairi he had to admit she was just as beautiful as her mother. She definitely had her father's eyes and curly brown hair but had her mam's nose. He also had to smile when he saw how absolutely smitten Malcolm was with this little girl. The older man was determined to do everything a normal parent would do taking care of her. He would find him doing almost everything except changing her diaper only because he couldn't see to make sure she was clean so Mathew changed Mairi's diapers when Clara was at work. He had to smile that Mathew was taken with his niece as well and became her nanny. He would do anything Malcolm couldn't or was having trouble doing.

Mathew loved his niece and did anything to take care of her. He was thinking that maybe he would make a good "mum" someday. He at that moment wished he could have children but alas he was incapable of getting pregnant. He was very glad having Mairi made Malcolm happy because he knew the older man had been depressed after the accident. He was also glad that Malcolm wasn't hindered too much by his blindness while he took care of Mairi. He helped the older man with changing diapers, dressing her, bathing her, and heating up the bottle to feed her. He was surprised by the patience Malcolm had when it came to his little girl. He would rock her for hours until she fell asleep even if her was exhausted himself.

One of the many nights that Malcolm heard Mairi wake up crying he carefully rolled out of bed and put his robe on over his boxers and felt his way to her room. He picked her up out of the crib and sat in his rocker and held her close while he rocked her. He murmured, 'What's wrong, darling? Papa's here. Shhh. My lovely Mairi." He kissed her forehead and kept rocking her until she stopped fussing and fell asleep. He went to put her back in the crib and she started wailing again so he had to rock her again. He was up all night with Mairi and was half asleep when Clara found him still rocking Mairi at 6am when she got up to go to work.

Clara asked, "Have you been in here all night with her?"

Malcolm sighed, "Aye. If I went ta but her back in the crib she started wailing again."

Clara replied, "I'm going to wake up Matty. You need some sleep. You are going to lay down. Don't. Do as you are told."

Malcolm sighed, "Aye, lassie." When Mathew came in he handed Mairi over to the boy and went back to his room and fell on the bed fast asleep.

Clara ran her fingers through Malcolm's curls before she left their room. She sighed, "You don't have to kill yourself proving you love our little girl." She went downstairs and saw Matty sitting on a brown leather chair watching Mairi sleep.

Mathew was downstairs with Mairi in the play pen they had set up for her in the living room. He said, "Clara? Malcolm could have woken me up. I would have gladly taken Mairi so he could go to sleep."

Clara replied. "I know, Matty. Maybe you need to tell him. He seems to think he has to solely take care of her at night to prove he loves her or something I guess."

Mathew sighed, "I'm here to take care of him and help with Mairi. That's why I'm a househusband and Ronnie moved in here instead of having me move in his house."

Clara sighed, "I know. He's just stubborn. We all know that. I have got to go. Take care of them both." She kissed her brother's cheek and kissed the top of Mairi's head and said, "I'll see you later lollipop."

A few hours later Mathew heard movement upstairs and went to check on Malcolm. The older man was in Mairi's room panicking. He gently grabbed Malcolm's arms and said, "It's all right. Mairi's downstairs with me."

Malcolm calmed down and replied, "I....forgot Clara had ye take her. I'm sorry, Mathew. " He had completely forgotten and he was forgetting a lot of shite and it was really starting to fucking bother him. He hadn't had a cigarette since before the accident and he really wanted one because this was starting to freak him out. He'd start to do something and forget what he was doing and being blind he can't see what he was doing to jog his memory. 

Mathew replied, "It's all right. You were tired. You do know you can come and get me instead of staying up all night, right? I'm here for you and Mairi. That's why I stay at home instead of work and also why Ronnie moved in with us instead of me moving in with him."

Malcolm sighed, "I...know. I just didn't want ta bother ye or Ronnie."

Mathew laughed, "Ronnie sleeps like the dead. Once he's asleep you have to physically shake the crap out of him to get him up unless it's time to get up to go to work. As for me I don't mind. Let's get you changed and downstairs before Mairi crawls out of her crib." He got Malcolm his clothes and helped him when he needed it and then led him down the stair carefully so the older man wouldn't fall. He got Malcolm to the sofa and checked on Mairi who was sound asleep. He got Malcolm's pills and a glass of water and some toast. He watched the older man take them and then lie down on the sofa. He could tell the older man was still exhausted so he just let him snooze and did the housework around him. He was surprised that Malcolm slept all the way until Clara came home right before dinner. Every since Clara had taken the older man's caffeine away he had been so tired and running like a turtle. After the accident Malcolm couldn't even read or work to force himself to distraction or to move.

Malcolm woke up in the evening from what he could tell because Clara was home. He could hear her talking to Mathew in the kitchen. He sat up with a groan and checked on Mairi. He could feel she was sleeping and murmured, "Ye are a quiet wee one today. Probably because yet kept papa up all night, yeah?" He finally got up and walked out to the kitchen and immediately he felt Clara and then Mathew hug him.

Clara asked, "Do you feel any better?"

Malcolm replied, "Aye, Clara. I do. Still a bit tired but not as bad as this morning." Later that night he was sitting on the end of their bed when got ordered to his knees. He did as he was told and waited for his next instruction.

Clara came in the room and decided to "role play" with Malcolm. She said, "Knees. Now." She watched as he obediently did as he was told and had his head down waiting for his next order. She caressed his head and said, "Good boy. Safe word?"

Malcolm thought about what he wanted to use for a safe word before saying, "Iago."

Clara smirked at that because it had been one of the nasty names they had called him in the papers. She replied, "All right. Strip." She watched him take of his clothes very quickly and wait for his next order. She said, "I bought a dildo and a butt plug today for you. I also bought a strap on. Which would you like?"

Malcolm whispered, "Mount me, Mistress. Please.."

Clara replied, "Hmm I think I'd have fun doing that but first I want you to pleasure me for a while. You are not to touch yourself or come until I say do. Do you understand?"

Malcolm replied, "Aye, Mistress." He undressed her and followed her onto the bed. He then proceeded to kiss, suck, lick, and nibble on every inch of her body while slipping two fingers inside her hot wet heat and his thumb rubbing her clit until she came 6 times and stopped him. When she told him to to he rolled onto his knees and spread his legs. He felt her slick fingers gently opening him up and being gentle as possible not to hurt him. It had been years since he had this stimulation. When he felt her get into position and then slide the dildo straight in without stopping he groaned. When she started bucking against him and found the angle to hit his prostate he saw stars. He growled, "There, Please."

Clara realized she must have hit his prostate so she kept the angle she was at and kept speeding up as she recognized the signs that he was getting close. She figured out how to bring him to the edge and stop before he got his release. She was impressed at how he didn't come even when he was so close because she said he couldn't. After about 5 times of doing that she finally said, "You may touch yourself and come for me."

Malcolm was sexually frustrated because Clara kept bringing him close to the edge and then he had to stop himself from coming because he knew he was supposed to wait until she said he could. When she finally told him to come it only took 2 pulls and he was seeing stars as he had a extremely powerful orgasm. He collapsed on the bed face first and panted until his heart rate slowed down. He felt Clara get off the bed for a minute and then crawled next to him and wrapped an arm around his soft pudgy middle. He felt her kiss the back of his shoulder and he sighed, "Thank ye, Clara. That was wonderful."

Clara replied, "You're welcome, Pepper. I do need to change the sheets though."

Malcolm groaned, "Aye. All right I'll go clean up." He went and took a shower. His ass was a little sore but he had expected that and Clara had been very gentle. He felt calmer and better after that and he truly enjoyed it. He dried of and went back to their bedroom and sat on the side of the bed when Clara told him the sheets were clean. He laid down and Clara curled up on his side with her head on his shoulder. He kissed the top of her head and said, " Night eudail. Mi gràdh thu, my Clara."

Clara kissed the side of Malcolm's nipple and replied, "I love you too, Malcolm. Good night." She felt his breathing slow and even out in sleep. She had liked being in charge of their night. She'd never be able to beat him really but she could spank him and not allow him release and maybe lightly whip him but nothing really hurtful. She also knew ordering him around was no problem at all. She nodded off to sleep content and happy.


	49. Family Matters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beware: Sad Chapter

About 5 years later Malcolm was sitting in one of his leather chairs and felt a small hand on his arm. He looked in the girl's direction and said, "Mairi? Whatcha need, sweetheart?"

Mairi replied, "Can I sit with you for a while, papa?" She had learned his moods and he was often grumpy and said a lot of words she wasn't allowed to repeat. He would yell at mum, uncle Ronnie and uncle Matty but he rarely ever yelled at her. She adored him because he would play with her and just let her sit with him.

Malcolm replied, "Aye. If ye want ta sit with a cranky old bastard then come here." He helped her sit on his lap and felt her curl up with her head against his chest listening to his heart beat. He adored his little girl and hoped someday he'd be able to see her marry and have her own family but his health was declining. He was even more tired than he used to be and had emphysema so needed to use inhalers and a nebulizer. He found it funny because he hadn't smoked since the accident and he was fine then. Now he had bad lungs 5 years after he quit smoking. Fucking amazing. He didn't even have much interest in sex anymore and he knew that had to be frustrating Clara even though she never complained about it. He just didn't have the stamina anymore.

Mairi knew her dad was ill and had a hard time breathing. She could hear him wheezing almost all the time when she sat with him and on more than one occasion had to get him his inhaler because he couldn't breathe. She did everything she could to help him and was afraid that one day he would stop breathing all together. 

Clara was worried about Malcolm. His health had been rapidly declining the last couple of years. He seemed very depressed and miserable. The last time they had made love was 3 months ago and she now had to figure out how to tell him she was pregnant again. When Mathew was playing with Mairi later that evening she said, "Malcolm? I am with child."

Malcolm sat straight up and replied, "Again? Are ye sure?" He hadn't planned on another child 5 years after Mairi was born but he wasn't unhappy about it either.

Clara replied, "Yes. 3 months."  
Malcolm sighed, "All right. I'm sure Mairi would like a sibling. That's wonderful. So.. about 6 months before the bairn is born?"

Clara kissed his lips and replied, "Yes. Give or take." 

Malcolm replied, "Hhokay." As usual his hand was always feeling for their baby to kick and it made him smile when he felt it. He never expected at 6 months for Clara to have a miscarriage. If it wasn't for Ronnie being home he would haven't known to get her to the hospital. He was waiting in the waiting room with his family and berating himself for being blind.

Mairi wasn't sure what happened to mum but he she sat clinging to her dad but she could tell he was worried. She asked, "Papa? Is mummy going to be ok?"

Malcolm replied, "Aye. She'll be fine sweetheart." He wasn't sure himself but it would make no sense to upset Mairi anymore than she was all ready. When he was finally allowed to see her Ronnie took him to her room and he took her hand. He asked, "How ye feeling, eudail?"

Clara was very weak from loosing so much blood and sighed, "Very tired. I'm sorry I lost the baby, Pepper."

Malcolm kissed her forehead and replied, "It's not yer fault, my Clara. We still have our beautiful Mairi. I am too old for more kids anyway. I wish the bairn had lived but I guess it wasn't meant ta be. I don't want ye ta feel guilty about it. The doctor says these things happen."

Clara replied, "You were so happy. I feel like it's my fault."

Malcolm replied, "It's not yer fault. I'm never going ta blame ye for this, my Clara. Never. Do ye understand? It's just not meant ta be. I'm just grateful ta have ye and Mairi." Malcolm was glad that life started getting back to normal a few days later even though he was sad that they lost the bairn he knew it wasn't either of their faults. They would have had another girl. They buried her with the name Moya Lana Tucker. He called his mam and told her what happened. He couldn't believe a few days later he got a call from his twin brother Dunkin that she had taken a stroke and died. He was really distraught because he just buried his little girl and now his mam. He didn't want to know who the third death was going to be and at the rate this was going he hoped it was him. They all flew to Glasgow for the funeral and Dunkin being a cardinal performed the eulogy. He had recently left his post as a cardinal and moved back to Glasgow to take care of their mam. He had been unavailable for the weddings 5 years ago as he was living in Rome and busy being a cardinal at the time. 

Ronnie was a bit surprised to see Malcolm's twin brother whom he hadn't seen since the day the older man entered the priesthood. He looked at the man with the flowing red and white robes, red beanie, gray curly hair, very thin frame, a goatee and mustache, and other than that Dunkin was the spitting image of Malcolm. He walked up to him and said, "Dunkin, It's been a long time. Hope ye are well."

Dunkin looked at the younger version of himself with a round pot belly and bit of a double chin with a young man on his arm and realized who he was looking at. He held out his hand and replied, "Ronnie, It has been a long time. Ye look....well. Who's yer..husband?"

Ronnie replied, "Aye. This is my husband Mathew. Mathew this is my cousin Dunkin."

Mathew held out his hand and replied, "Nice to meet you, your Eminence. I didn't even know Malcolm had a twin until today."

Dunkin smiled and replied, "Please just call me Dunkin, Mathew. I never really cared for titles." He watched the young man nod and soon had a 5 year old girl wrapped around his robed legs. He looked down and asked, "Who might ye be, lassie?"

Mairi looked up and proudly replied, "Mairi Kayla Tucker. I'm your niece, uncle Dunkin." She was surprised at how much her uncle looked like her father.

Clara came over and grabbed Mairi and said, "I'm sorry, your Eminence. Mairi is a very friendly girl."

Dunkin chuckled, "No. It's all right. Ye must be Clara, Malcolm's wife. I'm Dunkin his twin brother. You can call me by my name. I'm not into all the titles." He saw the little girl holding her arms up. He picked her up and situated her on his hip.

Mairi asked, "Uncle Dunkin? Why are you wearing a dress?"

Dunkin chuckled, "It's not a dress, my dear. They are cardinal choir robes. I have a black set that I usually always wear but decided to wear these today."

Mairi asked, "Black? Like a priest?"

Dunkin replied, "Aye. Like a priest. I was a priest before I was promoted to a cardinal. I came home because I decided I wanted ta get ta know my family before I died. I've been away a long time."

Mairi whispered, "Papa is crabby and sad. I wish I could cheer him up but I don't how."

Dunkin sighed, "Malcolm was always the saddest one of the 3 of us boys."

Mairi said, "Aunt Anne hates Uncle Ronnie and Uncle Mathew because they are a couple and papa because he stands up for them. You aren't like her are you?"

Dunkin replied, "No, Mairi. I'm not. That's one thing I share with Malcolm. God loves everyone of us no matter whether ye are gay, straight or any other sexuality. I have wound up in a few debates among other cardinals but that never changed how I felt. Just because I am a man o' the cloth doesn't mean I have a closed mind thankfully."

Mairi kissed his cheek and replied, "Good. I like you."

Dunkin had been thrown off by her kissing his cheek. He really missed out on having a family but if he could become close with his siblings families than he would be content. Later he sat next to Malcolm and they discussed what had happened since he left home. He finally sighed, "Malcolm, I basically retired from being a high cardinal. I'm....dying. I have pancreatic cancer. I'd like ta be around my...family. I'd like ta get ta know yer lovely daughter and wife. I was hoping that maybe you wouldn't mind if I stayed with ye until....my time comes."

Malcolm replied, "Jesus fucking Christ! NOW ye show up? When yer fucking dying? Can't ye get treatment?"

Dunkin sighed, "No. It's spread too far. It's spread to my liver and spine."

Malcolm sighed, "How....long?"

Dunkin replied, "6 months, maybe a year."

Malcolm sighed, "All right. I have a loft bedroom that's not used. Ye can stay there. You'll be dealing with me, Clara, Mairi, Mathew, and Ronnie. We all live together. Ronnie's a doctor so it may be a good thing for ye if ye need something that only a doctor can get ye."

Dunkin sighed, "I'm on morphine for the pain."

Malcolm replied, "Ye could have fucking come ta see us sooner. Why did ye fucking wait until ye are fucking dying, Dunkin?"

Dunkin flinched at the swearing but said nothing. He knew Malcolm was famous for his swearing and wouldn't curb his language for him. He sighed, "I really don't know why. I got so wrapped up with the church I blinked and I was almost 60 with cancer. I'm sorry. I should have been a better brother and I regret that I haven't been."

Malcolm sighed, "Fuck it. Ye are going ta participate from now until ye are 6 feet under do ye understand? Ye will be a doting uncle ta Mairi so she at least will have some time with ye."

Dunkin replied, "Of course. She's a lovely lassie. I will enjoy getting ta know her. I will help with anything that I can, Malcolm. I owe ye that much for taking me in after ye haven't seen me in over 30 years."

Malcolm replied, "Good."

Dunkin went back with them to London and he really did love Mairi. He would play board games with the girl and cards. He watched her and Malcolm when Ronnie and Mathew wanted to get out of the house for a while. For most of the time he wa there he was in pain but able to function normally. Almost 8 months later he took a turn for the worst and that little girl watched and stayed with him until he took his last breath. He had never expected her to get so attached to him and regretted not being able to see her grow up. He left her his cardinal cross to remember him by. He rasped, "Thank ye, Mairi. I'm glad I got the chance ta know ye."

Mairi was crying and holding his hand. She sobbed, "I love you, uncle Dunkin. Please don't go."

Dunkin rasped, "I love ye too, Mairi, but it's my time. Ye'll see me again one day. Ye just be a good girl for yer parents for me."He let her crawl on the bed and curl into his side and cry on his shoulder. He was content and fell asleep never to wake again.  
Mairi felt his breathing stop and heard his heart stp beating and sobbed on his chest. When uncle Ronnie came up she got up, ran into his arms and wailed, "Uncle Ronnie....He's gone. Uncle Dunkin....He's gone."

Ronnie wrapped his arms around Mairi and replied, "It's all right, love. He's in a better place now. He went ta heaven ta be with gran and Moya. They'll keep him company."

Mairi sniffed, "Gran will take care of him now?"

Ronnie kissed her forehead and replied, "Aye. He's her boy. We'll miss him but gran will take good care of him. It's all right ta be sad, love. But every time we lose someone we also need ta remember the good times as well because that way they are still with us. Hhokay?"

Mairi replied, "OK. I love you, uncle Ronnie. Thanks."

Ronnie smiled, "I love ye too. Yer welcome. Just remember as long as ye love any of us we are never truly gone. We are a part of ye as long as ye keep us in here." He touched her chest where her heart was and kissed her forehead. After she calmed down he called the coroner and told Mathew and Malcolm that Dunkin had passed. They attended yet another funeral in Glasgow. What a lousy year for the Tuckers. First Moya, then mam, and then Dunkin. He could only hope the next year they had better luck than this year.


	50. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well here's the epilogue. I hope you all enjoyed the story. I know it ended a bit abruptly but I thought 50 chapters was a good number to end it on. Besides I was running out of ideas lol  
> This gives the short version of what happens to all the main characters until they die so Major character death applies to this chapter. VERY short.

Malcolm and Clara were married 22 before Malcolm died of a massive heart attack at 80 years old. He was buried with his mam and Brother in Glasgow. Clara lived another 20 years after Malcolm died and never remarried. She stayed a teacher until she was 65 years old. She died peacefully in her sleep and was buried beside her beloved husband when she was 72. 

Ronnie and Mathew were together for over 30 years before Ronnie died of a massive stroke at the age of 85. Mathew remained with Clara in the house that they shared that Malcolm left them until he died of a broken heart at the age of 70. Both of them were buried side by side in their family plot in Glasgow. They never had adopted any children and Mairi was the closest they had to a daughter.

Mairi got married at 20 to a nice lad named David Tyler and her father was very proud of her. She also became a school teacher like her mum and would later go on to have 3 children. She had 2 sons Malcolm Ronald and Dunkin Mathew Tyler. She had one daughter that she named Lana Moya in memory of her sister she never knew. When her mum and uncle Mathew died she inherited her dad's house and would raise her children in the home she herself had grown up in.

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well thank you for reading. I hope you all enjoyed the story. I had fun writing it for you. Thank you for all the wonderful comments :)


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